Kurt Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 That was really really good, I love this story... mmhmm. Kurt Link to comment
Tracy Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 its about time i caught up with the story. steeeeven! this just keeps getting better and better Wow, that kiss was a shocker!!!!!!! Whoa! I think that is big trouble in the works! yep. that was a shocker alright. im not liking this brendan character too much right now. sounds like he's gonna be trouble in the long run. its already complicated enough with valerie in it, but eh, we'll see i dont know where you get your sense of humor steve, but im not gonna complain cant wait for the next chapter! tracy Link to comment
C James Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 That was really really good, I love this story... mmhmm. Hi Kurt! Yep, me too. It's addictive. its about time i caught up with the story. steeeeven! this just keeps getting better and better yep. that was a shocker alright. im not liking this brendan character too much right now. sounds like he's gonna be trouble in the long run. its already complicated enough with valerie in it, but eh, we'll see i dont know where you get your sense of humor steve, but im not gonna complain cant wait for the next chapter! Hi Tracy! I'll join you in the "not liking Brendon" club. He's got a sympathetic back story but comes across as conniving and predatory. (very complex, and very well done!). Steve still hasn't explained, though, how come Matt knows how to pilot of flying saucer? Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 That was really really good, I love this story... mmhmm. Kurt Thanks Kurt! do I get a cookie for a job well done? its about time i caught up with the story. steeeeven! this just keeps getting better and better yep. that was a shocker alright. im not liking this brendan character too much right now. sounds like he's gonna be trouble in the long run. its already complicated enough with valerie in it, but eh, we'll see i dont know where you get your sense of humor steve, but im not gonna complain cant wait for the next chapter! tracy What's wrong with Brendon? He just like any other guy looking for love it just so happens that his settled his aim on Jacob fro the time being... You like my sense of humor huh? Hi Kurt! Yep, me too. It's addictive. Hi Tracy! I'll join you in the "not liking Brendon" club. He's got a sympathetic back story but comes across as conniving and predatory. (very complex, and very well done!). Steve still hasn't explained, though, how come Matt knows how to pilot of flying saucer? Again with the not liking Brendon, geesh cut the kid a break he's had it rough in the past... And my dear will you please cease and desist from leaking plot points?? In hopes of snuffing out this 'Brendon = Bad' thing thats going around, I offer Chapter 12 a few hours ahead of schedule. (not to mention I'm trying to make up for December ) Also BIG THANKS to everyone who nominated Living in Surreality for Best eFiction of the year... Thanks Guys!! Steve Link to comment
Kurt Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Sure, you can have 2 cookies, this was one hell of a chapter! This chapter really shows just how confusing this relationship is... The Cliff Hanger! Jeeze! You are the greatest Steve! Kurt Link to comment
C James Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 What's wrong with Brendon? He just like any other guy looking for love it just so happens that his settled his aim on Jacob fro the time being... Again with the not liking Brendon, geesh cut the kid a break he's had it rough in the past... Steve, I know you what you mean. I've got a character in my story who is just as misperceived as Brendon. Everybody thinks he's a bad guy, while in reality Eric is just as nice a guy as Brendon. And my dear will you please cease and desist from leaking plot points?? Oops... My bad... I must be going blond... Ummm, I can't resist, I'm going to leak the chapter title for the next chapter... It's called Chapter 13! I loved Ch 12!!!! But what a weird cliffie... "Wear a hat"?!??!!? What the heck is Jacob up to? Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Sure, you can have 2 cookies, this was one hell of a chapter! This chapter really shows just how confusing this relationship is... The Cliff Hanger! Jeeze! You are the greatest Steve! Kurt TWO COOKIES! YES!!! as long as they are the nut free ones... I join you in that respect no self respecting cookie or brownie for that matter should be subject to the evils of nuts... Cliff Hanger? Surely you jest? What Cliff Hanger?? Steve, I know you what you mean. I've got a character in my story who is just as misperceived as Brendon. Everybody thinks he's a bad guy, while in reality Eric is just as nice a guy as Brendon. Oops... My bad... I must be going blond... HA HA Ummm, I can't resist, I'm going to leak the chapter title for the next chapter... It's called Chapter 13! I loved Ch 12!!!! But what a weird cliffie... "Wear a hat"?!??!!? What the heck is Jacob up to? OK ok, that is a fair statement (Chapter 13) I know Im rather bland in chapter nameing... I'll try harder next story out. As for the hat comment, Maybe Jacob just likes Matt in a Hat. No Dr. Suess jokes! Link to comment
C James Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 OK ok, that is a fair statement (Chapter 13) I know Im rather bland in chapter nameing... I'll try harder next story out. So name the next chapter 12 b. Then the next one 12 b, part II. As for the hat comment, Maybe Jacob just likes Matt in a Hat.No Dr. Suess jokes! Awww, No Dr. Suess jokes? Darn! Sooo... Why a hat? Hmmmm... And what does Brendon have to do with this? Anyone?? Link to comment
Conner Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Super, sexy story, Steve! ........I hope all you writing critics have noted my opening aliteration After thorough discussion with my fellow goat associates and colleagues (which means I read all of CJ's posts), I do hereby and forthwith, notwithstanding any change in my opinion that may arise, award you the Goat Good Seal of Approval. Now, don't let this go to your head, 'cause goats are essentially illiterate. We rarely finish a story 'cause we like eating the pages.... burp. I am most definitely a Brendon fan. All he stole was a kiss. Jacob handled it very well and told him that wasn't cool. Brendon apologized. I really like the line that Brendon layed on Jacob on the subject of GSA as part of that exchange...something about others that may need his support. Lines like that are a real context changer. Matthew is totally confused right now over his sexuality. Is he really gay when he only has these feelings for one boy and no other? He does have some of those same feelings for Valerie - that was made clear in the very first chapter. He knows Jacob has feelings for Valerie. Brendon's attraction to Jacob is scaring him, making him feel quite unsure of himself. All great stuff! This cliffhanger was the nastiest of them all. Are we going to get a threesome in Chapter 13? I must admit to liking the idea...no, not just for the sex , it might actually sort things out for Matt and Jacob and even Val. Unfortunately, I also admit that it could totally mess things up for everyone. Conner Link to comment
C James Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 After thorough discussion with my fellow goat associates and colleagues (which means I read all of CJ's posts), I do hereby and forthwith, notwithstanding any change in my opinion that may arise, award you the Goat Good Seal of Approval. Now, don't let this go to your head, 'cause goats are essentially illiterate. We rarely finish a story 'cause we like eating the pages.... burp. Howdy, Goat! (I've sure missed saying that!) Yes indeed, this is a very tasty story. <burp> I am most definitely a Brendon fan. All he stole was a kiss. Jacob handled it very well and told him that wasn't cool. Brendon apologized. I really like the line that Brendon layed on Jacob on the subject of GSA as part of that exchange...something about others that may need his support. Lines like that are a real context changer. I think we have a Goat disagreement about Brendon. I still don't trust him. He knew Jacob was dating Matt, and yet moved in for a kiss, in public! If Matt ever found out... Uhoh! I also wonder if that was part of his plan? Matthew is totally confused right now over his sexuality. Is he really gay when he only has these feelings for one boy and no other? He does have some of those same feelings for Valerie - that was made clear in the very first chapter. He knows Jacob has feelings for Valerie. Brendon's attraction to Jacob is scaring him, making him feel quite unsure of himself. All great stuff! This cliffhanger was the nastiest of them all. Are we going to get a threesome in Chapter 13? I must admit to liking the idea...no, not just for the sex , it might actually sort things out for Matt and Jacob and even Val. Unfortunately, I also admit that it could totally mess things up for everyone. I agree about the cliffhanger. But, 'ole Shdowgod is cruel that way. I sure agree about Matt's feelings. Definitely confused right now. I don't think a 3-way would be the ideal way of re-assuring Matt on that score. Glad to have you back, Connor! CJ Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 21, 2007 Author Share Posted January 21, 2007 I'm sure all these questions will be answered, if not in chapter 13 the surely by the conclusion of the story Link to comment
C James Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I'm sure all these questions will be answered, if not in chapter 13 the surely by the conclusion of the story ALL of our question will be answered before the end of the story? COOL! OK, what style rims does Val's'stang have? What shade of blue is it? What kind of tires? Ohhh, I could go on and on and on.... Looking forward to 13... Hmmm, 13... Anyone superstitious? Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 22, 2007 Author Share Posted January 22, 2007 ALL of our question will be answered before the end of the story? COOL! you really make this too easy... OK, what style rims does Val's'stang have?metal ones What shade of blue is it? this has been answered in the story... but as a reminder, Midnight. What kind of tires?I'm going with rubber ones, of the vulcanized variety. Radials even Ohhh, I could go on and on and on.... Looking forward to 13... Hmmm, 13... Anyone superstitious? my bad... that would be Chapter 14, as 13 being of perenial bad luck (Mass arrest of those templers by the King of France on a friday 13th of October) Steve Link to comment
C James Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 you really make this too easy... metal ones Yes, yes, metal ones, but what style? this has been answered in the story... but as a reminder, Midnight. Oops. I forgot that... I'm going with rubber ones, of the vulcanized variety. Radials even my bad... that would be Chapter 14, as 13 being of perenial bad luck (Mass arrest of those templers by the King of France on a friday 13th of October) Awww, but what size tires, what brand? And most importantly, what speed rating? Ah, yes, poor old Jacques... Though, I'd be more inclined to consider unlucky, were I him, the date of his burning at the stake than his arrest, but that indeed is how it transpired. Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Yes, yes, metal ones, but what style? Oops. I forgot that... Awww, but what size tires, what brand? And most importantly, what speed rating? Ah, yes, poor old Jacques... Though, I'd be more inclined to consider unlucky, were I him, the date of his burning at the stake than his arrest, but that indeed is how it transpired. I'll argue that point for surely had he not been arrested he wouldnt have been burned... Style, Hrmm I'll go with round, those square ones just never got off to a running start. And if you really want the size brand and speed rating of a tire in a online story you really need to sort out your priorities... (yeah I like that line... it sounds better in english then my tongue...) Link to comment
C James Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I'll argue that point for surely had he not been arrested he wouldnt have been burned... Style, Hrmm I'll go with round, those square ones just never got off to a running start. And if you really want the size brand and speed rating of a tire in a online story you really need to sort out your priorities... (yeah I like that line... it sounds better in english then my tongue...) I concede the point on the arrested/burned issue as there probably wouldn't have been much point in arresting him after the burning. Sounds better in English than in your tongue? So, what alien dialect do you speak? BTW, a serious point: I notice that your characters have slightly different speech patterns. Is that intentional? It really adds to the story in my opinion! Looking forward to 13! CJ Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 I concede the point on the arrested/burned issue as there probably wouldn't have been much point in arresting him after the burning. Sounds better in English than in your tongue? So, what alien dialect do you speak? BTW, a serious point: I notice that your characters have slightly different speech patterns. Is that intentional? It really adds to the story in my opinion! Looking forward to 13! CJ That would be phajartkin would you believe word acctually has a translator for that?!? As for the differing speech patterns... Each character is their own, so yeah they have differing speech patterns Jacob's vocabulary is more relaxed where as Matt's in more formal to a point, though I have laxed it somewhat with Richard no longer around. I noticed awhile back Blackbird asking how writers start there stories in the writers forum. For me it starts wih the character, at least one and the plot builds around them as well as other characters. Oh heres an Idea. Whomever can guess the Character this forrey started around will get an advance copy of an upcoming chapter. Yay a Contest! Anyhow yeah I always start with the character first for they are how the story is told. The plot emerges from the complexities that their life hands them, after all everyone has a story. Sometimes you just have to dig a little to find it. Link to comment
C James Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 That would be phajartkin would you believe word acctually has a translator for that?!? As for the differing speech patterns... Each character is their own, so yeah they have differing speech patterns Jacob's vocabulary is more relaxed where as Matt's in more formal to a point, though I have laxed it somewhat with Richard no longer around. I noticed awhile back Blackbird asking how writers start there stories in the writers forum. For me it starts wih the character, at least one and the plot builds around them as well as other characters. Oh heres an Idea. Whomever can guess the Character this forrey started around will get an advance copy of an upcoming chapter. Yay a Contest! Anyhow yeah I always start with the character first for they are how the story is told. The plot emerges from the complexities that their life hands them, after all everyone has a story. Sometimes you just have to dig a little to find it. I like the way you did that: giving each their own speech patterns. That's really good. Even most mainstream published novels lack that. CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!! I;m slightly vauge on what you mean here: You mean which character the story started around, right? If so, based on a re-reading of Chapter one, my conclusion is Joanna, Jacob's Mom. The first part of the first chapter seems to be clearly about her. Jacob is almost incidental, and it can't be Matt or Val because they don't even appear until halfway through the chapter. The second half, though, is more about Valerie. Link to comment
Kurt Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 YAY!!! It is Finally up! I must go read now!!!!! Kurt Link to comment
shadowgod Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 I like the way you did that: giving each their own speech patterns. That's really good. Even most mainstream published novels lack that. CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!! I;m slightly vauge on what you mean here: You mean which character the story started around, right? If so, based on a re-reading of Chapter one, my conclusion is Joanna, Jacob's Mom. The first part of the first chapter seems to be clearly about her. Jacob is almost incidental, and it can't be Matt or Val because they don't even appear until halfway through the chapter. The second half, though, is more about Valerie. Yup... Sorry about that I use confusing wording sometimes... :wacko: Which character, mind you it may be a main character, reoccuring character or, a minor character, launched what was to become Living in Surreality? now that, that is cleared up. Living in Surreality Chapter 13 is online... now... so go read already! Link to comment
Tom Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I've been keeping up with this story. Even when I was supposed to be working on my own, I would read LIS instead. All I can say is that I hope; when I geet to a sex sciene in my story, it's half as good. Since I hate spoilers, I'm not going to say anything more than....If you haven't read it yet...GO do it now Link to comment
C James Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Whoa!! People, GO READ THE CHAPTER! Whoa... OK, I'll keep my mouth shut on spoilers for right now, but a few minor points I need to make: The only response her call received was the distant baritone chime of a grandfather clock. The sound of it startled her. Valerie flinched at the unexpected noise as it resounded four times through the house.The above is one of the most skillful lines I've ever seen. It establishes the time, and adds richness to the story. Now that is writing... Matt and Valerie rounded the corner in an offbeat unison. "Offbeat unison" has got to be one of my favorite phrases in writing, ever. As for the other events in this chapter, I won't mention anything more until people have had a chance to GO READ THE CHAPTER! Oh, one thing... I have a suggestion for a chapter title: The Deli. Link to comment
Bondwriter Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Started reading the whole story. I got to chapter 3, and it's quite a nice read so far. Humor, excellent writing (my standard here is the fact that I may really see the characters and the events happening in my mind...), hints at future family problems for Matt, a bully whom I hope the boys will take care of... Darn, another one to catch up with! Link to comment
colinian Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Maybe Val, Matt, and Jacob do a 3fer, but I doubt it. I don't think that Val's that kind of girl. But I don't know girls that well, so... OMG, I was WRONG and I LOVE it! Go read LiS, and if you've been reading it go and read chapter 13. All that's left to say is: HOT! Colin Link to comment
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