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JeffreyL
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The End Is the Beginning
JeffreyL commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in The End Is the Beginning
Hey Tim! I missed this when it appeared and am one chapter behind. This introductory chapter has me intrigued! I have lots of questions, so I will head on to chapter two and start looking for answers. Thanks. -
There were several good moments in this chapter! I especially liked the gathering at dinner. You did a nice recap of all the main characters. Times like that help me keep everyone straight (no pun intended). And the thought of stroganoff sounded good. Thanks.
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Maybe thanks in part to his Dad too. I think being accepted by his dad and building a good relation with him helped set Harlan on this new path.
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Boy Wayne, you are just banging 'em out! Another great chapter with all the usual suspects: great characters, good dialogue, enough description to put the reader in the moment without taking over, and that little twinkle that I hear in your writing that must be in your eye as you write! Oh I forgot to mention some sexy loving near the end! Looks like Harlan is back, and he solved two problems, and only one was his! Thanks. 😍
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OMG! You'd get four or five hearts and a big gold star, if that was possible! ❤❤❤❤❤🌟 I was absolutely tickled pink with this chapter! Short? Yes a bit. But. The dialogue was perfect! Harlan has recaptured his old self! It is your writing at it's best! Now how will Harlan handle Huck? Or will he? Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. 🤩
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At the end of the last chapter I meant to comment about using italics for the signing. It absolutely worked for me. I found it very easy to follow. Except for Huck and the minister, it was more fun at camp. I loved the "date" and the smartass comment at the end! 😆 Thanks.
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Wow! Great chapter! Harlan's behavior is so atypical I can hardly believe it. Of course it has been awhile since I read the last two stories. Love, or lust, has clearly muddled his brain. 😆 He tends to keep his humanity mostly under wraps. It's nice to see some more peeking out. And I find it intriguing that he is thinking about interceding between Huck and his minister on Rayne's behalf. More good story to come I am certain. Thanks.
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I am a little behind and trying to catch up. I knew I would enjoy this story. It is good to know more about Rayne and Bailey. You have set up an interesting writing challenge for yourself. So far you have done a great job writing from a mute person's point of view! I really enjoyed your song and your singing! Well done! Is it safe to assume you are a musician, writing and singing songs? No wonder you can empathize with Bailey. I agree with Jeremy. I mostly sing in the shower, but I enjoy it, and I would be devastated to lose my voice. I am looking forward to whatever is next. Thanks.
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Thanks for sharing more of Brad's story. I am so happy to see him grow and take charge of his life! I am a bit sad to see this story end. I love the cameos you include of past character in all your stories. In a few sentences or a couple of paragraphs, you get us caught up with their lives. In this chapter it was nice to catch up with Brad's mom and stepdad. Thanks.
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It is great to be back at camp! You have piqued my curiosity with Bailey. I am anxious to find out what's up with his no speaking. I am also trying to decide if Rayne is new or was part of the kids last time. Good start. Thanks.
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You, my dear author, are a bit of a tease, or maybe totally devious! Great chapter! Wonderful dialogue! But you didn't tell us much, although maybe I am too thick to get your subtle clues. Like Wesley I am wondering what is up with Sid. And I hope April will blurt out his true identity and get past that obstacle. I can't wait for the next chapter! Thanks.
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Nice dialogue between Tristan and his brother! It sounds like they have a special relationship! I am looking forward to more interactions between Tristan and Finn. Both are interesting characters and maybe not as different as they appear at first glance. Thanks
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This first chapter piqued my curiosity. I have a lot of questions about the dynamics of this family. I do like Jimmy, and I am curious to know what he meant by his comment to his mom at the end. I will be watching for the next chapter. Thanks.
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I continue to enjoy Brad's story! You have done your usual fine job writing dialogue! I really liked Brad's conversations with both Patrick and Christina. It would be very cool to see a romance between Christina and Brad! I am happy to see their relationship grow stronger. Thanks.
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This was a fun story with a great message! I add my support to the many readers who encourage you to publish. I have no idea what is involved, but it is worth looking in to. Thanks for sharing.
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Wow! This was an amazing chapter and beautifully written! Your descriptions put us right in the middle of the Ascension. Thanks.
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I liked Hank's mom. Her side of the story makes sense. I also wonder what she would gain by making it all up. Especially knowing how Hank feels. And Hank has already shown his anger and stubbornness. I know Chase would like to get back together with Hank, but maybe he would be better off if they became friendly, but he looked elsewhere for romance. It seems Chase has grown a lot after being dumped. He is more independent and has a lot to offer. I'm looking forward to see what's next. Thanks.
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A few tears of joy to end a wonderful story! In this chapter you really cranked up the emotions! I enjoyed everything about this story: characters, dialogue, settings, and plot! Thanks for such a great story!
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There are some interesting dynamics between the characters. I look forward to finding out why. Especially Margaret's attitude toward Devyn. I love the way Devyn and Jason are getting along. It seems their instincts are already forming a bond between them. Good story! Thanks.
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Reinforcements Have Arrived
JeffreyL commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in Reinforcements Have Arrived
Now you add April's dad into the mix. Hmmm. It will be interesting to see how the two dads get along. I don't think they are very different in what they want for "the kids." April, Jett, and Carina may find the dads have joined forces. I am really enjoying this story and these kooky characters! Gotta love 'em! Even Jett's dad. Thanks. -
Here I am about two and a half years rereading this story. I had kind of forgotten how much I loved these characters! I gave every chapter a thumbs up last time. During this reread I changed every one to a heart. I hope you will consider finishing this story sometime. Although I can guess where this will go, I would enjoy what you write. I find your style very readable. Thanks.
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Another cold shower already? The result of reading two hot chapters back to back!
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I thought I would make a brief comment before running off to take a cold shower. This was so erotic! And I am so happy for Etienne! I hope he is ready to move forward past his insecurities now. Thanks.
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This story is great for many reasons. I like that it continues Brad's journey from being a screw up to becoming someone he (and the other characters) should be proud of. And here you go, bringing in yet another secondary character into the fold. I love it! Thanks.
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This was a very enjoyable story! I really liked the characters and their adventures. When I win the lottery, I will plan a trip to Australia, and contact Dr. James about chartering a tour. 😉 Thanks.
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