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JeffreyL
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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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I agree with the other readers' comments: this is an amazing chapter! I confess I went back to the previous chapter and reread my comment. I was pleased my hope for Stavor and Keter may be coming true! I'll be on pins and needles waiting for the next chapter! More good writing! Thanks Tim.
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I am surprised. I never got the feeling Mickey was a player. Maybe I missed something. I may go back and skim to see if I did. Thanks.
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I will probably reread this chapter to be certain I have the characters straight and know how they are all related. I thought this first chapter was interesting. I liked the dialect. I liked the characters. A good beginning! Thanks.
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Poor Simon. I feel certain Dad will not let this drop. I'm expecting more grief for Simon and Mom. Maybe Niki can come to their rescue. Thanks.
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You should have no worries about this story as far as I am concerned. I agree with James B, you are doing a marvelous job! You have created these great characters, and they feel real! So of course they will not be perfect, which means making mistakes and trying to fix them. Keep up the good work! Thanks.
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I did not read the previous version, so I can't make a comparison with this one. I can say I am really enjoying the start of this revision. These characters are great! I look forward to twice a week postings and seeing where this story goes. Thanks.
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You did a great job telling this story in so few words! I always think short stories must be hard to plan and write. You can't just take a chunk out of a larger story, it must have a beginning, middle, and end. By what you have written and not written, we can fill in the gaps and end up with a complete story. This is touching and a bit sad. Nicely done. Thanks.
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Our Galaxy is a Dumpster Fire
JeffreyL commented on JamesSavik's story chapter in Our Galaxy is a Dumpster Fire
I should probably be weeping at the message of your tale, but your writing style and word choice made me laugh! Very enjoyable! Thanks. -
I am wondering about what will happen to Stravor now? I am hoping he is part of a bigger plan that will restore Keter and leave Stravor's master powerless. Wishful thinking? Maybe. Whatever happens I am really enjoying this story! Thanks Tim.
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Hello Sasha. I guess I am on a trip down Memory Lane. I believe this is the first story written by you that I read. It is probably my favorite of your stories. If not my favorite, it is near the top of the list. I never kept count, but I have read this several times, and I always enjoy it. As with your many other stories it shows your terrific writing skills: well developed characters that are appealing in many ways, dialogue that never sounds fake or made up, and descriptions that put you in the story without taking over. I hope this finds you busy and happy. I hope you are still writing and will share a new story sometime. Thanks. Jeff
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Moving things right along I see! And I am not complaining a bit. Mason's reaction to the description of the camp was interesting. I can't wait to find out what he's thinking. Having read a couple of your stories, I imagine this is only going to get better! Thanks.
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I am feeling a little confused, and I am not certain why. I feel like I need to go back to the beginning and reread. Things are intriguing, and I like these characters, but I am not sure where this is going. Based on your other stories I have read and enjoyed, I will be patient for what comes next. Thanks.
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So much good news made this an especially enjoyable chapter! Thanks.
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It is nice to see Simon in a "two steps forward phase." Niki was very helpful in getting him to open up and keeping Mom from overreacting. The dialogue was great during this after dinner conversation! Simon is feeling so much better about himself, and it makes me happy! I suppose we have "one step back" coming next. Well it can't be all hearts and roses if a story is meant to be realistic. I am enjoying this story a lot! Thanks.
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This has been a wonderful story! I am pleased the boys got a happy ending. Can it be HEA when there are still medical issues to deal with? It is more realistic, but it works for me. Thanks.
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Hi Sasha. Just finished my third reading of this story, and I enjoyed it as much as the first two times! Thank you.
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Hello Sasha. I believe this is my third time reading about Emmett and Jian. And I have to say I enjoyed it almost as much as I did the first time! Because you know what is going to happen, some of the surprise factor is lost. But the characters and dialogue are first rate. The settings are well described without bogging down the story. The sex is hot and sassy and fun! I hope this finds you well and happy. I look forward to a new story written by you one of these days. As always, thanks for sharing your stories. Jeff
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Yes, you did! Bravo! 😃
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This chapter was well written! I think you got all your bases covered: you tied in Lex and Ian and covered their backstory. Nice job! Thanks.
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One chapter and I like it already! Greg is interesting, and I like his idea of a gay-friendly camp ground. I am curious to see how things go with Clay and Mason. I am so excited to have another story you've written (are writing 😃) to read! Thanks.
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After three chapters of Faith and Luke. I am ready to get back to Amy for a bit. I am missing her determination and her suspicious mind.
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Your idea to "share the info in bits and pieces and through dialogue" is one of the reasons your writing is enjoyed by so many. Not to mention you create interesting, well rounded characters. Thanks.
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Your writing did a good job of conveying Simon's frustrations. Being a teenager is frustrating enough when you don't have a friend or relative to help you along and share things with. Add to that being gay in a community that is predominantly homophobic (at least it sounds that way), makes it even harder to sort out your feelings. I am encouraged by your response to Timothy M. It sounds like Simon will continue to look for answers and have some success. It makes me think of that old saying, "two steps forward; one step back." Thanks for sharing this story.
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Ugh. As a retired teacher, a student and teacher affair makes my skin crawl. As Faith says, so wrong on so many levels. I am excited for Amy's progress and hope it continues. Thanks.
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In the Chill of an Early Morning
JeffreyL commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in In the Chill of an Early Morning
Writing is a good way to get your feelings out. To me this poem is sad. I hope writing this helps put you on an even keel. Thanks for sharing.
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