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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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You are getting more and more tricksy with the little twists. Like the cousin being part of the enemy force, and Kohen having to be paralyzed. I love it! Thanks!
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Maverick - "Spider Lily"
JeffreyL commented on AusGlitterati's story chapter in Maverick - "Spider Lily"
I am really enjoying reading about these characters and how their stories unfold and blend. They are all interesting, and I like them, warts and all. Thank you. -
Tall tales was one of the literature units when I taught fifth grade. I always thought it was fun. Your version of Pecos Bill was great! I really enjoyed it. Thanks.
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Wow! I just re-read chapters one through four point five. My comment from chapter one stands. I am still not clever enough to sort everything out. I have several theories, and you seem to be putting out lots of clues, but I am not certain which of my theories is correct. In spite of my confusion, I am really, really enjoying this story! I hope at some point you let us know what, exactly, is Ravenwolfe House and why is Aiden there. In the mean time I will be patient and look forward to more. Thank you!
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I can really relate to several of the lines in this poem and what I see as its message. I sometimes wonder how getting older snuck by me until here I am. Older. And when did that happen? I also like the ending. I see it as a message of hope. Thank you.
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Veikko - "The Dark Angel"
JeffreyL commented on AusGlitterati's story chapter in Veikko - "The Dark Angel"
You continue to amaze me with these complex and intriguing characters! Thank you. -
I just read chapters one and two. Elliott is an interesting character. Now that his mother is gone, he has lost a big motivation. I can't wait to see what he does now! Thanks.
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I liked the way Mark and Bobby "got the goods" on Amy! I was even more impressed with how Mark handled her when she confronted him. Looking forward to the reveal of Bobby's plan and finding out about Scott's background. Thanks.
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This chapter brings new characters and revelations. I'm guessing Andy's life is about to get a little more complicated. I enjoy the fact that we get to hear the conversations going on in his head. Long distance relationships of any kind can be hard to sustain. Rex seems to be grow in away from Andy. I wish I could figure out what Rex is thinking. More clues, please. Thanks.
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This was a great follow up to "Guarding the Line!" The plot was well crafted. The dialogue and emotions were well written. Thank you.
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Based on the dates of the other comments I am a little late finding this story. It was well written. You said so much about your characters and their situation in so few words. Bravo! And thanks for sharing this story.
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Declan did that very well. I'm not certain how he got so wise. Maybe love gave him the right words for Bailey. And it seems like Bailey listened. I hope he will be able to follow Declan's advice and turn to him instead of the blade. On a lighter note: it was great to touch base with these two! Thanks for more of this great story!
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Nicely done! You might mention that Ian is Duncan's older brother. It is implied, but not directly stated.
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What a way to stir the pot even more! I know that in professional wrestling storylines change. Good guys become bad guys and vice versa. How do you go back to straight when your storyline has you become gay? I am glad Audrey has been so supportive, and the kids seem to be doing better. I hope things can be resolved for Jilly. Maybe get her away from Mom and on some drugs or behavior therapy. I know he really loves it, but maybe it is time for Diego to retire or move to a different wrestling organisation. Or maybe open a wrestling school and become a coach. I continue to love Diego, the other characters, and this story! Take a break if you need it, but please don't forget your readers and these characters. Thanks.
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I am sorry to say goodbye to Eric for a while. I have enjoyed getting to know him and Andy and Adam. It is good to read about an older man. It is a nice change from the coming of age stories, not that I dislike them. Thank you for sharing this story.
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I think Drew is great, and I think his world is about to be turned upside down! You have created some interesting supporting characters. I look forward to reading all about Drew's first concert experience. Thanks.
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This was a great follow up to chapter one! I like Dean even more, and good for him to change his life for the better, with Bart's encouragement. I hope your Muse lights another fire soon. I would enjoy seeing how things go with Dean and Hugh. Thanks.
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Very clever story! Story number two posted today, and I realized I never read story number one. Although there was a disclaimer about not needing to read story one, I did it anyway, and I'm glad I did! Thanks. Now on to story two.
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I felt really bad for Mark after chapter one. I wasn't certain I wanted to continue reading. When chapter two posted today, I didn't connect the title with what I'd already read. So I went back, skimmed chapter one, and decided to read chapter two. I am glad I did. Aunt Janice gives me hope. It won't be easy for Mark, but he won't just get beaten down by people and events. Thanks. I intend to keep reading to see how Mark fares.
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I am still enjoying reading about Lewis and his adventures! It is still really good on this second read for me. Thanks.
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I hope this turns out to be more than everyone ganging up on Mark. This first chapter has left me feeling bad for Mark. The title does give me hope. I am curious to see where this goes. Thanks.
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Writing where you are can put some perspective to your feelings. And maybe help sort things out. Both are good things. Your poems are well written and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing them. I am hoping you are going to find a better place soon. Hugs to you my friend.
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It's always great to spend some time with Ember, Brady, and the kids! Thanks for another good chapter.
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Maverick is interesting, but he is not a character to like. I imagine he will provide a lot of the conflict in this story. His family is unusual, but I am not clear, yet, where his attitude comes from. Is is nature or nuture? The classic debate. It is interesting that the other four characters are similar, and Maverick is the "odd man out." This just keeps getting more interesting! Thanks.
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TC3 - Chapter 1: Meet Jeremy
JeffreyL commented on Brayon's story chapter in TC3 - Chapter 1: Meet Jeremy
What a great beginning! I have to admit I was having a bit of trouble remembering how everyone is related and how the teens became couples. So I went back and skimmed the first two stories, making a flow chart as I skimmed. Now everyone is sorted, and I am excited to read more! Thanks.
