scrubber6620

Quote by Carlos Hazday "Could you imagine one chapter at 100K words? That's two thirds of the entire novel! " I have read one recently on Gay Authors that was nearly 200, 000 words--Chapter 33 of the Kandric Saga

Great , thoughtful ending "I come in peace" -like a statement from an old sci-fi movie which could represent what humans really wanted and hoped aliens would feel. This build up to the meeting looks promising. Essell is hoping the avarice from the possibilty of information sharing of the galactic council members will override any fears or aggressive views. We will see. I did not know how powerful Garjah's ship is. It could be very destructive. They can escape if necessary. Bouncer will add to their defensive capabilities. So what are the true intentions of the galatic and how long will it take to learn them? What role will Essell's parents play? Now that Garjah has seen a visual representative of the galactic planets and met some members will he have knowlege from past exporations to help Essell and himself?

This felt real--Ridley's mother intervened and talked heart to heart with him. She helped him begin to reach out. She was the needed cata;st right now. She felt he wrongly everyone, including his family, away. She told him he needed to reconnect . She knew Gabe really liked him and he could be a real friend. The way Gabe and Ridley tentatively connected and kissed and touched was so slow and endearing, No male hormones were exploding into passionate orgasmic release. Ridley was tentative and inexperienced. Gabe was surprised and pleased. He told Ridely he wasn't on his radar screen ( as a possible romantic or sexual partner) until he kissed him. He asked Ridley to be true and not run away.. Ridley has made tentative steps to show he will stay. He enjoys Gabe's kissing and touching. Gabe is not pushing him and staying with kissing and touching his chest and nipple which excites Ridley. They have a wonderful way to go in exploring each other's bodies and developing their relationship. Ridley envisioned a better path with Gabe that will bring him back ...." I hoped I remembered it with a smile of the memory of Gabe’s laughter and the rush of blood to my cheeks that told me I was waking up. So maybe when Dad walks through the front door again he’ll see me like he left me...." Thank you for this possiblity of an optimitic future and a better life for Ridley and I hope Gabe

You have given us reasons to conjecture--so here is a wild thought I read spy thrillers and murder mysteries. In two fairly new spy novels, the bad guys weaponize viruses--ebola and smallpox- to make them resistant to current vaccines or solutions ( copying the coronavirus idea) and attack the US by releasing it here. Could the Idaho pack scientists and colleagues elsewhere find what stops shifters from shifting and make it into a poison or more likely attach it to a very contagious virus . They could then make a vaccine or anti-virus/poison pill to protect favored leaders or packs. The anti-shifting mechanism could be introduced into a leadership meeting of the US packs and then spread throughout the US to hurt/limit/control non-favored wolf shifters when the infected leaders return home. The favored protected packs and leaders would act when the others aren't able to shift and take control of the former shifters. lands and businesses of the packs that can't shift. Losing the ablility to shift could turn them into slaves. While the High Council is not known to be involved as of yet, I am suspicious. To carry out somehing this bold to realign and control the US packs would require the High Council , I bet, to eventually agree or not oppose. The trip to Germany to meet the High Council could reveal more about who is taking part in the process to kidnap and study the pups for gain. Too Wild ?

What a mess and the possibilities for danger are huge both for the two packs and those going to Germany to meet the high council. Silas has given the Germany bound shifters good advice if they can follow it. Uniting the two packs in Montana for a while is a great choice. I hope the shape shifter will help and can infiltrate Reilly's old pack in Idaho. How can they convince him to help? I note a major revision in the Idaho pack-council relationship- the cash flows to the pack and not the otherway around. But not every avenue has been hacked yet. We are told the council ( not high council) is sending $50,000 in money monthly. The kidnapped kids are not a revenue source and likely not being sold off for others like human tafficking or outside experiments. “Shit. That’s a lot of money every month!” Kellan exclaimed. “Enough to kidnap and hide young shifters,” Caleb pointed out. But hold them for what purpose? So it seems the Idaho pack is being paid to capture the kids and hold them. Perhaps, I suggest to allow tests to be made on them in pack facilities for later financial gain which will be shared by the council with the Idaho pack. Unreliable or unusable pups could be killed, sold or cast off elsewhere. What will the experiments aim to do-change the nature of wolf shifters to be docile and compliant , remove the ability of wolf shifters to shift, make wolf shifter subject to control by chemical/biological methods, etc? Unless I am being too literal, what is going on with the council and high council? They are two separate bodies for wolves. We are told " The Council representation is two-fold. The wolf shifter population has its own Council as wolves make up the majority of shifters. This is what we are referring to anytime one of us mentions our Council. All other species either govern themselves with their own Councils, or willingly agree to fall under the wolf Council. Worldwide, there’s a High Council that governs all species.” " Those going to Germany need to be on the lookout for the bad guys who could be helping the wolf council in the US. If the High Council is involved is it a bad wolf element to control wolves or a bad non-wolf shifter side wanting to take down wolves ? The dirty politics and crafty High Council members will be fun to watch. Our guys hopefully will not be impaired or hurt and get out safely and back to the US so they can help take down the Idaho pack. When will we see the Sentinels in action ? Thanks for a great chapter towards many more good ones.

I hope the special website takes off. It has been hard for the guys to make money from their first try--shoveling snow in the neighborhood. Will any complications arise from Billy's father and the principal living nearby? We learned Leo lost his job and is looking for another one. The boys are on their own building up the website and need to fund their growth as they can. Jakey really knows how to excite Sammy and is so genrous and uncommonly skilled at reading his body and knows just what to do to reward Sammy. He wants to help Sammy and is not yet pushing to get his sexual joys from Sammy. I think they have to learn that both partners need to be satisfied sexually in order for their relationship to deepen and be as loving as can be.

I am glad Sebastian was able to help Reilly overcome his guilt and painful feelings. He did not help cause this problem His dad, a piece of work, is the senior bad guy, not Reilly. I am surprised Sebastian went right to a chemical reason for the kidnappings . This was later seemingly confirmed by Kellan's dad by the hiring of scientists and Jordan Kiersey, the sudden signs of wealth unrelated to pack finances, and adding more outsiders to the pack that would support a new mission. He did not consider a sex trafficking as an option in the beginning even though something about young guys/pups seemed to be registering on the dark web and sex trafficking could be a normal reason for kidnapping young ones. Peter Nichols is a bad guy who might know other ones who could connect him He needed very high powered help to move from a suspcion that a chemical action was involved in his beaten son's reactions to cashing in big time. To get the right science and financial expertise and morally suspect manpower for his pack and to be able to find where pups are located across the USA suggests someone senior or many senior on the council should be helping him and are being paid handsomely. We now know Peter Nichols and others are doing well outside the pack finances. The good guys hacking resource can at first target Peter, Jordan and the suspect dark web identified web site. Sebastian's pack is near enough to Peter Nichols pack. Sebastion should be wary what the other alpha might do if he learned of his actions and who he protected. The council can't be trusted. I wonder what we will learn about any bad actors at the council and what the hacker finds out and what Reilly is really doing to and with the pups and if any can be saved. .

You wrote this at 16 ! I am impressed . It does not seem like the work of a younger writer. I also do not focus on grammar but the main characters and story line. I am grateful you listened and provided a new ending. BTW, Casablanca as we seen it now uses the alternate ending with Ric losing the girl to the resistance leader. The screening with the girl staying with him disturbed the test audiences. You certainty have progressed and improved. A do-over with the basic ideas might be terrific, if you have the time and interest. But right now, I hope you can complete Ridley with any revisions you feel are helpful.

I read the last two chapters together. I prefer this version of an ending. The alternative version is so cruel. I read this story because of a compelling story you are writing in the present time about another high school basketball player who had to go down before he could go up. I think it will end on an optimistic version with justice served well. The title worried me and as this story progressed I became even more worried that Charlie's character flaws--his nemisis-were taking him down to a destructive ending. Derek seemed too good to be true. I worried he even killed Lucy to tie Charle more to him. Was he the sociopathic person played by Matt Damon in the Talented Mr. Ripley? I was wrong--very wrong. Charlie's conflct with his dad added more pain and worry, though. Charlie seemed to be so self-destructive and overly pessimistic. The man who exemplified the view that a pessimist was a man who when he walked into a room and smelled flowers looked around for the coffin. I thought he needed to get away from bad influences and be around good ones he accepted a helpful and reinforced his good qualities. I stopped reading the story, but could not keep away and had to find out how you ended it. You gave us two serious plausible endings. Thank you. In this version , Charlie stayed away from his dad ( who could only hurt him) and said he would only contact him later, Charlie valued his community session, realized that the love his mother felt for him was renewing and that Derek really loved him. Charlie had proof and Derek was a good person who loved him. Both good guys might have a great relationship in college soon. I am impressed by this story as it turned out and your characters and that you gave us eventually choices and two endings. I liked the version in which good guys don't finish last.

This fits the arc of the story title--good guys finish last. What will Charlie do after community service? His dad no longer cares about him even though Charlie would soon be out of his life in college in another location. Can Charlie pick up his life ?

Somehow I think Fiana will get involved and has a stronger role to play and could be part of the magic that saves Sebastian and reunites the characters. They have to be reunited to live happily ever after. Either the parents and their kids come to the kingdom or the principal kingdom people transfer the earth for at least a while--in my estimation. They can live healthily perhaps only with full knowledge and supportive actions .All are too far apart and not understanding what is going on . I can't yet see who will land on either side, Will the birth of the new kid allow Sebastian to return to earth at some time or his real lover , Milo, to arrive in his kingdom? You showed us things are fully unsettled. Sebastian is growing closer to his death bed and is separated from Pepin and his shard . Pepein and Kai must be sadly apart. It is touching to find out Sebastian's subjects are wishing him well. He has their support. Conrad and Galien are going to help him. But he needs more magic help. Can a dragon help him like the dragon helped cure Conrad? How can he find out? Can Pepin help him contact the dragon?

Ridely has not yet noticed one positive outcome of the newspaper article--his team mates called him Ridley, not Riddles. Maybe others in school will drop the Riddles moniker, too. After fits and starts Ridely might notice Gabe looking at him with care and concern, not rejection or disgust. His mother seems very intuitive and will notice Gabe not around or being in Ridely's conversations. She might ask Ridely what happened or even what he thought of the article. If Ridely somes clean and says he broke his confidence, and cannot trust him, she will be worried about him. She night even bring this up to his dad when he is strong enough. I can see his dad telling him that friends are hard to find and Gabe has the potential to be a good friend. The film collection could tell the dad that Gabe is dedicated to helping his son. Will Ridley accept his dad's guidance? Will he slowly begin to reach out to Gabe? We also do not know why Ridely and Matt separated. It could be that Ridley felt he was beconing sexually attracted to Matt and he could not allow that. He withdrew. He has continued to be a sexual unknown without a girl friend and tries to avoid keep getting close to Matt and his team mates. He watches where he looks to not give away any interest in their bodies. I can see an unexpected downside to the newspaper article. Research by future opposing teams could give them fodder for trash talk to upset Ridley and cause him to lose his focus. They could attack his dad as being a failed, poorly skilled soldier who could not save himself . They could say that he isn't a riddle to them--he is gay and looking too much at their bodies and asses, even when he isn't. Can Gabe help him with another newspaper article reporting the trash talk and defusing it and building team and school suport for him?

Leo is the first sign up and Sammy's password needs to be changed. If Leo is a user , he could hane hacked Sammy's computer and have new software have some or most of the money sent to his credit card. I hope not.... The xrated channel will likey have a short life span--guys will talk, they will be identified, the amount of money will be too large to be believed, fans will get bored unless the guys get progressively more kinky

One hope--I do wish that this relationship will build and build through set backs and learning about each other and that they will at some point have great sex more than one time with each other. I think they can better know and value and trust each other as they become very passionate and truly romantic Chapter 11 of Laura Fox's Good Guys Don't Date Bad Boys has a wonderful sex scene that ties the two opponents together after they had avoided real serious intimacy, leaves them needing to figure out much more and ends a road block in the plot. It made sense and was not a gratuitous action. This seemed to be a step along the way to romance and much deeper geelings--if they work at it.

Jakey saves the day ! He turns Sammy's mood around and tells them what they have to do, They are foing to create popular vids. I am so glad both channels will shine and attract viewers with both boys dedicated to being winners.

So the real danger requiring the sentinels is evident now. Bad actors by kidnappng young pups who are more easily controlled and prized by certain child predator type or ?? guys who like young men or exotic anaimals for sex or research the existence of shifter wolves can be learned as a by-product. Revealing that shifters exist will threaten existence of all supernaturals. Will other types learn and join in helping the two packs ? I imagine Reilly's family can be making lots of money by kidnapping the young pups. However, they would need help to find targets across the US. Someone must be helping them--Could evil shifters at the Council be helping them?

Wow, double wow Thanks taking us on this trip that moved their sexual experiencee along much faster and more intense than I expected. Jonathan was overtaken by lust and a hot naked body and revealed his body and willimgness to be a player without much delay. Maddox set the terms and the prize for cumming first. He easily agreed to Maddox's requests and was overwhelmed by Maddox's sexual actions. He was skillfully seduced. So now Jonathan will be his sexual slave for a month. What does that mean? Will they last a month? Will Maddox's friends stay supportive of his sexual switch ? Will the Xpress catch them as a couple and cause them drama? What is the first curve ball you throw? Maybe, they are they both going to overthink and not communicate clearly ? They need to discuss each others worries as soon as possible. Both discussed anal sex. Both are anal virgins. Will both lose their anal virginity and who cums first in the other's ass? Will they connect emotionally and romantically and not just physically?

84Mags just said As for Northman, I am wary of how far his dislike might go. It is disgruntled people like Northman that spies look for. He is in a prime position to be approached. That is right on. The Russian would pounce on him if and when he finds out about his rivalry. Northman also does not seem to have any allies in the embassy that really dislike CJ so he might be ready to look elsewhere. As the phrase goes--The enemy of my enemy is my friend. I am sure the Russian spy is actively looking for a weak link. He could tell Northman he could help him get CJ be kicked out of the country. and Northman would see mutual benefit without hurting the US. The Russian spy could learn too much in his discussions with Northman about the inner workings of the embassy. and Northman would blow up his own importance. Northman would be compromised and caught in the spy's web. The US spy resources might learn of Northman's doing and Northman would be doubly hurt. I bet he is too weak to be depended upon to be a double agent. Taking down a rising star who is winnng goodwill in Mexico for the US might be a good action for the spy. Here is one possible bad trick---- CJ and Owen could be set up at the reception after the ballet by doing what the spy did at his place and even attach his fingrtprints to some of the devices. The Russians could demand his explusion

Not what I expected or hoped for......Gabe wanted to leave after that first kiss. And then met him later and gave him one more kiss. Gabe really likes Ridley. He reacted to that first kiss from Ridley and wanted more to no avail. Ridley is very bottled up and does not want any outside complcations while finishing high school Ridley is maintaining his emotional firebreak and was mad at Gabe for telling some of what he considered his confidential personal matters. Ridley is not willing to connect more with Gabe Towards the end they say....with Ridley starting “Okay,” I said after he broke the kiss. “I don’t think it was just the gift.” “Good,” he said, nodding his head as he smiled and leaned back into his seat. “That doesn’t change anything though,” I said as I turned away from him. “You told people stuff I didn’t want told.” “I know that now,” he said and I heard him swallow then sigh. “I’ll leave you alone. I worry for Ridley by his choice to reject Gabe and the path not yet taken . Now he will ignore his very human desires and not attempt to build his first friendship and romantic interest with a willing partner. Will he stay away from Gabe? Can he stay bottled up months emotionally and sexually now that he has crosssed a line? Will his dad read the article and give him any advice on relationships? One fly in Ridley's plan on creating a better life when his father is available and maybe comes home : His dad may be more injured than he knows and he may need serious care when he comes home. He may need to be a caregiver and counselor. Even if the transition home is not as bad as I am suggesting , Ridley would be a stronger son if he had a friend who would renew and support him when he faced rocky times

Things are moving alone. I expect the sides will react to each other soon. The upcoming conflict might be surprising and could serious and deadly. I can devise what might happened and hopfully be at least partially right. . Finn has marked lots outside Leeds. It will be strange and noticable. I bet Skye will sense and be confused by the odor left behind by his mate and how it impacts him.. His alpha might even notice how Skye reacts to the smell and now understand that the intruder was speaking the truth. He is seeking his mate. Finn might meet them when he smells his mate or trail them hoping to be able to peel his mate off. If the other packs attacks the recon party. Finn could join in and help Arista and his mate. I am looking forward to the next chapter

Legendary ranked writer Kyle, you have moved the supertanker of your fullepic story successfuly. I am thinking of the challenge like Microsoft updating Windows in a fukk release like Windows 10 with so much code to incorporate. Unlike the Redmond beast, you earned universal praise for this creation. if you would take one suggestion, please consider publishing chapers of 25,000 to 40,000 words like you did earlier. The past shorter chapters were powerful and interesting. You have now tied all of Kandric better together and made the story more reasonable. I bet you have a matrix of characters. In other words, you have a text and structure that can be divided up and published in segments and be able to keep the whole internally consistent and fascinating. I am reading all three stories by you and Roland and loving how they are connecting and existing now at the same time. You fleshed out the past gaps in Kandric and lay a basis for Kandric and his group and Xavier and his group to grow and help each other. I am interested in finding out how the old ones and the shards they created will appear and solutions. In fact, Kandric and Xavier must help each other and it may not be a straight line. . For example, Xavier has to learn how to shift to reach his full potential in this time frame to help Kandric. Will Kandric and Xavier feel a connection and friendship at first or will it be a rough contest till they are friends ?? Will Xavier feel his mother's death gift in Kandric and others and find acceptance and undestanding? They might more readily help Xavier regain his kingdom when they realize they have a shared destiny and need to protect/save the shard. BTW, before we we told Kandric was either now or soon to be a mythlet. He is leading a huge force that could aid the King in securing Rolling Dale. The King has failed to protect his kingdom and sons, He should be thanking Kandric. At some point. the King will need to realize Kandric commands militarily forces significantly superior to his and a vauable force needed to safeguard his kingdom from the evil dragons and death mages. At one point Stalin was told that the Pope would object to his military moves. He was said to have replied-- Tell me again how many divisions the Pope commands? The King needs Kandric with his divisions. Learning of Kandric and his full family assembling could be a highpoint. They will be a powerful fighting force.I want to find out how they relate and then go thier own ways. Will any become Alphar royalty? Will they return to their past lives or ... ? Will any father children who will grow and become powerful? It will be interesting to find out how Chark and Syn and other drows and their allies are rehabilitated and help others. The fiercesome bad drow shaman needs to be found and killed. Will Kandric find other sand dragons and friends beyond those now alive? Can he use any of Pyrothermal's items left behind? Will he be needed to help Kandrc defeat Frexla? There is a potential for Xavier to connect with his falconing friend and related sand dragonlings found by Adga in Beyond the Craigs. How will Xavier recreate his kingdom when he captures the territory? I am expecting your next chapter be awesome and make your fans wanting more.

Love the passion. These two are now meant for each other as few could doubt. This deep intense connection can help them through the tests they will face soon

It is always a positive chapter when it starts out with great sex and two mates loving and wanting each other. The right things were brought together by chance and technology and a mystery has been solved. Reilly's brother is involved in the kidnappings.Whoa--he is in Maryland, not Idaho so this plot is very big and takes in lots of territory. Are other family members kidnapping kids, too ? They are bad dudes who can be very vinictive and might find themselves connected to others who are nasty with evil intentions. A shifter might better be able to capture other shifters or young pups who can smell a shifter. Picking off a pup when there are not many would be easy with the pack not expecting any trouble. It seems we don't know why the pups are being kidnapped ( money from human trafficking, science experiments, sex , etc.) or what role the Council or some rogue Council members are playing ( hidding the extent of the kidnappings to not cause panic , abbeting the kidnappings for some nefarious purpose, etc). Sebastian is wise to not trust the Counciil yet and needs more information. I am looking forward to the two alphas and pack reps meet. I am grateful more answers are soon to be given.

You asked for ideas-- Please don't end it with a kiss and move on next time with shock or becoming discovered kissing. Please start the next chapter with them enjoying their new found intimacy alone and becoming better acquainted. Start them off happy and excited and joyous and not fearful. Let us know what each are thinking and how they are trying to understand each other. Yes, I am a polyanna. Complications can happen later.

BTW--I missed West at least having a short intense fantasy thought about Neil when his name was mentioned. Neil and he have had amazing sex and a young guy would be fantasizing about his first passionate mutual orgasm experience frequently. Was once enough ? He could take his mind off the dark depths facing Tuct Side and the boys.