GanymedeRex

nice setup. I want to read more and will gladly do so...

At least the boys talked and we got to know them a little bit.

I don't understand why the man wants to adopt the boys. He just met them. He's hardly talked to them or done more than share a couple meals. I can understand wanting to make sure they were fed and clothed at the time, but there hasn't been interaction whereby the characters develop a relationship. The boys are very hollow characters. I know nothing about them as people except they are in a romantic relationship. I don't know what their personalities are like nor do I even know what their likes or dislikes are. There is very little dialogue to get an idea of their voices. The PESI system is a cool idea and is the most intriguing element in the story.

I think the vast majority of mean preachers are characters in gay stories. You generally have to be a nice & personable individual in order for people to want to come see you. Scolds do not attract crowds & offerings.

nice recap. I've really been enjoying this story

Bravo! That epilogue was a lot of fun. You bring a fresh perspective that I want to read more of. I encourage you to write more stories. You were very successful with your first.

This was a very impressive first story. Even though it starts a little rough, it quickly develops into something honest, emotional and highly satisfying. I think we can expect more great things from this author.

Well, that was a quick progression. Damn that was hot too - on an emotional & sexual level. I'm a little disappointed that the sex did not escalate a little slower though I'm still very interested in maybe reading MORE. The story stands if you want to end it here, but please continue writing on this forum. You have something rare in how you write that I find really compelling. Maybe we think or feel in a similar way but the way you capture the character thought process and emotions really hits me.

Great stuff. I liked the word "adorkably"

Amazing chapter. This started out great as a story inside Damien's mind, then it added dialogue and events. The story was also really hot. I was honestly turned on and heartwarmed as well. I think you've got a future writing.

I'm impressed! This story is excellent so far. There is some awkward language more-so at the beginning which could be attributed to English not being a primary language but a well known secondary one, but you were native as anyone describing that penis! You did a great job capturing the feelings of the protagonists and provide an effective impression of a couple other characters with a minimum of description. The protagonist is clearly an anxious, sad & fragile child - one I can personally relate to. You conveyed his emotions extremely well. I really liked the part where he felt safe being held by Dennis. The way his emotions tracked events and interactions made a lot happen with efficient prose. Very well done! As a Polish American, I'm interested in those aspects of the story as well (family from Podkarpackie region) as well as post-communist countries after the end of the cold war.

A forum is a discussion. Authors desire feedback. I leave lots of positive feedback and have done so for this author. At least two of us finds something that rubs us the wrong way. It's not intending to disrespect, demean, or insult. It's an honest opinion. Those should be of value to an author as well. We are probably not the only two reacting in this manner as we read.

Thanks. We LIKE you.

@Anton_Cloche I personally like this author and have enjoyed several of his works. He's obviously talented. He has certain things which are pretty consistent: - Older teen / young adult male protagonist who usually buys & grows property, inherits property or travels (often by sea) - Lack of romance and sex. Gay identity is typically a mechanism to be discriminated against - Thin & over the top egregious villains who are put down, usually through legal means, and suffer/lose greatly due to their often unhinged and puzzling behavior - Lack of character growth & lack of intimate relationship development (sometimes) - Surprising inheritances often with a lack of intimate connection to the inheritance source Quokka's stories are like a kid building with a Lego set. Sometimes they are really great (Pioneer farm building). I wonder if Quokka is in the autistic realm, which might explain the narrow but severe interests. Where I lose interest starts with the repetition. Another older teen going sailing and doing all kinds of things to bring people onto his giant boats. The summer house that ascends/descends is truly bizarre and makes no sense to me. Why bother? Why does this remote cousin give him so much? I'd like to see him try something different. How about a teen who helps coach baseball, or being a pioneer on a moon or asteroid, or an Australian in WWII or something. Quokka has a lot of talent and interesting ideas, I just think its how they are aimed and i think Anton's advice is good. For those of you who view things differently, I hope you enjoy his works and I'm not trying to put the guy down, I'm sharing how I react. That's all.

AND..... this story just turned into a clone of the last two or three stories by same author... Signing off.

A 16 year-old with a private airplane cabin. He totally should have jacked off!

It's the BEST COURSE EVER, no other course comes close. The other courses are terrible, but this one is the GREATEST. Having fun with this one. I stopped reading Quokka stories for the last few as they seemed repetitive. This one is fresh. My favorite was the one he did of the two brother settlers coming to Australia and starting a farm from scratch.

I used to watch Monarch of the Glen on BBC America - it was an enjoyable show with a catchy introduction. Animated plaid if I recall.

What a great hook for a first Chapter. Well done!

The part about the police brutality & rioting now seems surprisingly germane...

I think I tried reading this story when chapters first came out but did not proceed due to numerous problems with grammar and editing; none of which are detectable now. What a remarkable improvement.

Thanks. I've really enjoyed this story and what preceded it. Lots of adventure and a little to make you think.

Nice musings. Russians use a small number of names, typically the same 12 are most common and because of that, they have lots of nicknames associated with each one. Sascha is the most common nickname for Alex. So I guess that makes them even more of a pair....

such an exciting battle!

Great job doing this whole thing in one chapter. It was riveting. I'm glad for the positive resolution - too many in his situation were just destroyed.