Thwarted - 15. Chapter Fifteen

“Are we really going to keep ignoring it?” Trey pushed his plate back and rested his hands on the table.

“No, I guess not.” Mark stood and picked up the plates to carry them to the sink. He’d known Trey wanted to talk about his option of re-enlisting, but it wasn’t something that Mark really looked forward to. He knew what he wanted him to do, but in the end, it was Trey’s decision.

Mark dumped the plates in the sink and grabbed a couple of sodas out of the fridge. He had the feeling he was going to want a beer before all was said and done, but soda would do, for now. He walked back over and set one of the sodas in front of Trey and then reclaimed his chair.

“I guess the biggest question is, do you want to re-up?” As far as Mark figured, that was really the bottom line. If Trey wanted to re-enlist then nothing he could do or say would change his mind. It didn’t really matter if it would, in the end, it was Trey’s decision and if Mark really wanted them to make a go of it, he’d have to support whatever Trey decided to do.

“I don’t know. I’ve thought about it and I’ve talked to some of the other guys on base, but in the end I’ve never really been able to make up my mind.” Trey picked up his soda and popped the top open and took a drink. “I’ve seen guys who come back from overseas who are adamant that they’re going to get out, and I’ve seen guys come back that are just as determined to re-enlist. ” Trey set the can back on the table and focused on Mark. “What made you decide to get out?”

“I’d seen enough.” Mark stood. There was no way he could sit and talk about this, it made him too restless. He paced across the kitchen and leaned back against the counter to face Trey. “I’d always thought I’d be career military, but the things I saw over there….” He tried to come up with the words to explain everything he’d seen to someone who hadn’t been there, but instead his breath caught in his throat as he remembered. Injured soldiers being brought back to the temporary base. Some missing limbs, others dead. The bloodshed. The absolute horror of roadside bombs obliterating convoys.

Mark’s stomach rolled as the memories assailed him. He turned and gripped the edge of the counter as he forced air in and out of his lungs. He clenched his eyes shut as though that could block out the memory of staring into the lifeless eyes of men he’d fought next to. Except this time, he was looking into Trey’s lifeless eyes. It was too much. He bolted towards the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before he lost the contents of his stomach.

“Mark…”

He felt the hand on his back and could only shake his head as his entire body trembled and broke out in sweat. He couldn’t talk anymore, couldn’t remember anymore. He didn’t want to remember. It had taken months before he could make it through the night without night terrors waking him up. He’d usually end up sitting outside, alone, for hours until the sun rose over the horizon. The bright colors and the sun shining through the occasional clouds had occasionally managed to chase the terror away, but not always. He’d gone through treatment for PTSD and had accepted that he would never be the same as he was before he’d been deployed.

“I’m sorry Mark.” Trey’s hand rubbed circles on his back.

“Not your fault.” Mark barely managed to gasp the words out as he struggled to get his breathing under control. The smell wafting up from the toilet nearly made him wretch again and he fumbled for the handle and flushed the toilet.

“I’m going to get you some water to rinse your mouth, okay?”

Mark nodded and managed to lift his head. He watched as Trey left the bathroom only to come back moments later with a cup of water. He took the offered cup and rinsed his mouth and spat it into the toilet. He rinsed a couple of more times before flushing the toilet and stumbling to his feet with Trey’s help.

“You okay?” Trey’s gaze searched his face and Mark tried to smile reassuringly.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Give me just a minute?” Rinsing his mouth had helped, but he desperately wanted to brush his teeth and rinse with some mouthwash.

“Sure.” Trey looked uncertain but left the bathroom.

Mark stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment before grabbing his toothbrush and paste. He scrubbed his teeth and rinsed thoroughly with mouthwash before going back out to join Trey. He’d half expected to find him on the couch and was surprised to find him in the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Hey.” Trey turned from the sink, a plate clutched in his hand. “Thought I’d go ahead and get these washed up.”

Mark knew what he was doing and appreciated that Trey was trying to act like nothing had happened. It didn’t change anything, but he appreciated it just the same.

“You don’t need to do that.” Mark stepped forward and plucked the plate out of Trey’s hand and set it back in the sink. “I’m sorry. I’m usually more together than that.”

“It’s okay.” Trey sighed. “I’m sorry I brought it on.”

“It’s never far away; I just usually do better at controlling it.” Mark grabbed a couple of beers and led Trey over to the couch. After his little breakdown, he could use a drink. “Do you really need to decide whether to re-up now?”

“Actually, I’ve already made my decision.”

“Oh?” Mark couldn’t keep his surprise out of his voice.

“Yeah.” Trey smiled. “When my enlistment is up, I’m done.”