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    Mark Arbour
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

9.11 - 73. Chapter 73

As I mentioned in the forum, I put the story on hold to consider some comments from reviewers.  The irony is that I've done that, and I'm posting this chapter way earlier than normal.  So "In Hold" translated to "Accelerated".  Go figure.  :wizard:

November 9, 2001

Escorial

 

I’d gotten up early with a specific task in mind, but even as I stood in front of the door and knocked, I felt nervous about disturbing people so early in the morning. I was a bit relieved when Frank opened the door to their bedroom and was obviously awake and fully dressed. He was normally an early riser, but you never knew. He was pretty surprised to see me there. “You wanted something?” he asked gruffly.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Fine,” he said, and opened the door to let me in.

Grandmaman was at her writing at her desk, probably planning her day. “Good morning, Will,” she said pleasantly.

“Good morning,” I said, and then focused on Frank. “I wanted to apologize to you for how I treated you at dinner. You’re not responsible for what Wally and Clara do, and you’re not responsible for what Matt does. It was wrong of me to treat you like you were.”

That really shocked him. I watched him think about that for a few seconds. “This is hard on all of us,” he said gruffly, his way of forgiving me.

“Yes it is,” I agreed, then tilted my head to look cute. “So you forgive me?”

He scowled at me, a fake scowl, while I could see Grandmaman hiding her grin as she pretended to ignore us. “Yes,” he said simply.

“I want you to prove it.”

“You ask me to forgive you, I tell you that I do, and then you want me to prove it?” he asked, getting pretty annoyed.

“It sounded reasonable to me,” I said in a chipper tone, to tell him I was kind of messing with him.

“What do I have to do to prove it?”

“Come with us this weekend,” I said.

“I thought you didn’t want me to come along and ruin your relationship with Zach,” he said, being nasty. I could sense Grandmaman getting ready to jump on him, so I responded quickly.

“I changed my mind,” I said. “He’s really an amazing running back. I mean, I know you don’t know much about football, but I thought even you might be able appreciate his talent.” Frank was totally into football, and was an armchair coach on the weekends during football season.

“Right,” he said. “When do we leave?”

“You leave here at 2:30, and I’ll leave from school at 3:00 to meet you all at the airport,” I said.

“Can I bring a date?” he asked.

“Is she hot?”

“Very hot,” he said, glancing over at Grandmaman.

“Then you can bring her.”

“What are we doing besides going to the game?” he asked.

“Stef and JJ are going too, and we’re going shopping on Saturday,” I said. “Maybe you can come along.”

Grandmaman giggled. “I’m not seeing that,” Frank said.

“I’ll see you at the airport,” I said. I made to leave but he stopped me.

“Will.”

“Yeah?” Then he did something he didn’t do all that often. He pulled me in and gave me a big hug. I felt tears flowing because I was a fucking emotional basket case, because the hug was meaningful, and because when he hugged me, he reminded me of Robbie. We didn’t say anything, we just hugged for awhile, broke apart and smiled at each other, and then I left and went to eat breakfast.

“Good morning,” Stef said, and looked at me with his worried expression.

“Good morning,” I said cheerfully, even though my eyes were red.

“We are meeting you at the airport,” he said, telling me something I already knew.

“Frank and Grandmaman are coming along too,” I said.

“I thought they were not joining us?”

“I talked to Frank, and convinced him to come along.”

He eyed me carefully. “You did not want him along, and now you do?”

“I’m a freakazoid. That’s how I roll,” I said. He rolled his eyes at me. “Your job is to make sure JJ is ready on time.”

“You save the biggest challenges for me,” he said. I chuckled. JJ was not the easiest person to motivate unless he wanted to go somewhere.

“Is Grand coming along?”

“He is not. He has opted to stay here and enjoy the peace and quiet provided by an empty house.”

“This house is never empty,” I said, and that was true, since at least some of the staff members were always here.

“I know that, but he likes to imagine that it is,” Stef said, cracking me up. “We will meet you at the airport.”

School seemed to drag on. Austin gave me shit at lunch for being gone and missing some party this weekend, but I didn’t really care about that. My heart was in New Jersey. I had all of my books and homework for the weekend packed up in my backpack, so as soon as school was over, I all but bolted out of my last class. Pedro was driving me, and opted to pick me up in the Ferrari.

“Good choice,” I told him, referring to the car.

“I know you are anxious to get to the airport quickly, especially since the others left early,” he said.

“They left early? Even with JJ?”

“They say the wonders never cease,” he said, cracking me up. We got to the plane and everyone else was loaded up already. I handed my backpack to the co-pilot and hurried up the steps.

“Thanks for being early,” I said to everyone.

“We did not want to risk your wrath,” Stef said. He was being pleasant, but he was upset. Our eyes met, and I could tell that whatever was bugging him, he didn’t want to talk about it, so I left him alone. Since he, Frank, and Grandmaman were up in the front, I went in back to hang out with JJ and keep him company.

“Sup?” I asked.

“I’m here,” he said, being bitchy.

“I thought you wanted to come?”

“Whatever,” he grumbled. We didn’t say anything for a bit, we just kicked back until the plane was airborne. “How was it?”

“How was what?” I asked, since that question came out of the blue.

“How was being in New York?”

Then I got where he was coming from. “It was hard at first, but it was good for me. It’s a great city, and it’s nice that it reminds me of Robbie, Mom, and Hank.”

“I don’t want to be reminded of them,” he said. “I want to just forget the whole fucking thing.” And then I got where JJ was. He had totally immersed himself in skating, and zoned all the other shit out. He hadn’t made the journey that I’d made, that Dad had made, or that Darius had made. I felt bad for him, because it’s like a race, where we’d already done a few laps, and he was still at the starting point.

“You can hang with me this weekend,” I offered.

“You’ll be busy with your boyfriend,” he said rudely.

“JJ,” I said, and waited until he looked at me. “I’ll always be there for you if you need me.”

He bit his lower lip. “Thanks.” He sat there, wanting to say something, but he didn’t, so I looked at him until he did. That strategy usually worked with JJ. “I’m really bummed about Matt.”

I so did not want to talk about him, or think about him. “You should talk to Frank about him,” I suggested.

“I want to be pissed off at you, but it isn’t your fault,” he said, in his bitchiest tone. That actually made me laugh.

“You’re mad at me because you don’t have any reason to be mad at me?”

He gave me a nasty look, but it was hiding a grin, as he realized how ridiculous he was being. “Fuck you.”

“Can’t,” I said, winking at him. “I’m taken.”

“You mean you’re only with Zach?”

“We don’t have any commitment, or anything,” I said. “But that’s how I feel. He’s really the only person I want to be with.”

He looked at me intently, like I’d stared at him before, only I didn’t have any major issue burning inside me that I was reluctant to let out. “I don’t think I’ve seen you as into someone as you are with him.”

I nodded. “Kinda scary.”

“Dude, be careful,” he warned. He saw my brows narrow. “I’m not talking about all that shit Gathan says about him, about how he’s the fucking devil. I’m just talking about getting too involved and getting hurt.”

“I was already hurt,” I told him. “He can’t hurt me worse than that.”

“I guess not,” he agreed. “So we’re staying at the condo.”

“Are you alright with that?”

He shrugged. “If not, I can always go to a hotel. I’m going to crash.” He got up and went into the bedroom, so I went up and hung out with the others.

“JJ decided to take a nap,” I said, then looked at Grandmaman. “If you want to rest, I can kick him out of the bedroom for you.”

“I think that instead, I will just enjoy the charming company,” she said with a smile.

“A wise choice,” Stef observed, making us laugh.

“Zach asked Dad about Aaron,” I said to Stef. “Dad told Zach to talk to me about him. I brought a copy of the diary with me, but I wanted to know how much of it I could show him.”

Grandmaman didn’t really care that much about it, but Frank and Stef did. Their reactions were interesting. Frank got really angry, but said nothing, while Stef started crying. He wasn’t sobbing, but there was a stream of tears pouring down his face. I looked at Grandmaman with a confused expression, and she gave me a slight shrug to show me she was as clueless as I was. “I am sorry,” Stef said, and grabbed a tissue to wipe his eyes.

“Dude, I do that all the time,” I said, with a combination of a smile and a grimace.

“I would like to think about that for a bit, if you do not mind,” he said.

“That’s fine,” I agreed, totally unwilling to argue with him.

He sighed, then seemed to have an epiphany and decided to vent to us. “Your question caught me off guard. It is an ironic coincidence.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I received word just a few hours ago that Aaron is dead,” Stef said.

“Good riddance,” Frank growled, and seemed happy with the news. “Piece of shit.”

“We are all flawed beings, and we all make mistakes,” Stef said evenly. “It is my experience that carrying a grudge does much more damage to the person who is angry, than to the person to whom it is directed.” He gave me a look, which pissed me off, since he was trying to tell me he was referring to Matt too.

“And sometimes people are just assholes, and you should write them off,” I said firmly.

Frank looked at Stef. “See, I told you he’s smarter than you.”

“Do not get cocky because you are right once every twenty years,” Stef said acidly, cracking us up.

I leaned forward and took Stef’s hands in mine. “I’m sorry. I can wait to talk to Zach about this if you want me to.”

“I will let you know,” he said, then sighed again. “I like to trust my own instincts in these situations. It is not that I do not trust yours, but this is very personal to me.”

“That’s fine,” I said, to tell him it wasn’t a big deal.

“I am conflicted about Zach,” Stef continued. “From you, I hear what a wondrous young man he is. And as I tend to be partial to young men who are handsome, that also biases me in his favor.” Frank rolled his eyes at that. “On the other hand, I have other people railing at me about his flaws, and advocating he is a dangerous person. I would like to draw my own conclusions before I give him access to something so personal.”

He was nervous, worried this would upset me, so I smiled. “He’s definitely hot, and it’s possible that he’s wondrous, but since when do you discard men who are flawed and dangerous? Aren’t we all?”

“So you are suggesting that it is important to give handsome and flawed men a chance?” he asked, another oblique reference to Matt.

“Some of them,” I said coldly, to let him know he was pushing my buttons. “What did Aaron die of?”

“Skin cancer,” Stef said. Frank chuckled and shook his head, seemingly amused that a pale skinned guy would meet his end by getting skin cancer after fleeing to a tropical island. Stef ignored him. “He is being buried on Los Negros.”

“Are you going to the funeral?”

“I did not plan to,” Stef said. “How is your father? I have not talked to him for a few days.”

“He works, and he sleeps, and probably masturbates,” I said, then remembered Grandmaman was there, and blushed three shades of red. “I’m sorry,” I said to her. She giggled.

“A bit crass, but it is probably accurate,” Stef said, like he was always the model of decency.

“I’m going to go knock out my homework, so I don’t have to worry about it this weekend,” I said, and went back and did just that. I had just finished up when the pilots let us know we were landing. I went and woke JJ up, then spiffed my appearance up in the bathroom. The plane landed, and I was completely on edge, so anxious to see Zach. We taxied up to the FBO, and as soon as the plane stopped, I saw Zach’s Durango drive out onto the ramp, along with a limo.

“Perhaps you should get out first,” Stef suggested with a smile.

“That way you won’t knock the rest of us down,” JJ said.

“Thanks,” I said. As soon as the door was open and the stairs were down, I charged down the ramp, and there was Zach at the bottom, smiling at me. He threw caution to the wind and just enveloped me in a major hug, and just being in his arms made me feel so safe and so loved. “I missed you,” I said.

“I missed you too,” he said, and winked at me. I moved aside so he could greet the others. “Welcome to New Jersey!”

“Why thank you,” Grandmaman, said, and kissed him on the cheeks in the French fashion. “How nice of you to come meet us.”

“I’m looking forward to your game,” Frank said. It was only at that moment that I realized how much like Wally he sounded.

“I hear you like football,” Zach said, pouring on the charm.

“I watch a game here and there,” Frank said, which made Grandmaman and I chuckle.

“You are looking as handsome as ever,” Stef said to Zach.

“I was going to say the same thing to you,” Zach said, being the flirtatious beast that he could be. “I’m wondering if you’d be willing to stop by the locker room tomorrow and meet the team.”

“You’re letting him loose in the locker room?” I asked.

“Most of those guys are underage,” Frank said. “Better call the lawyers.” We all laughed at that.

“I am not going to chase them around the locker room,” Stef said. “Besides, they are faster than me.”

“I’ll bet some of us are pretty slow,” Zach said with a leer.

“I will be happy to meet your team,” Stef promised.

“Hey JJ,” Zach said, and raised his eyebrows to flirt with him.

“Zach,” JJ said coldly.

“You’re not happy to see me?” Zach asked, being a total wolf.

“Not really,” he said, and then turned to Stef. “You ready to go?”

“The limo will take you all to the condo,” I told them. “You can come with us,” I told JJ.

“I’ll just go in the limo,” JJ said. “I’ll meet you there.” I got them situated, then hopped into the Durango with Zach.

He pulled off the ramp and found a secluded spot to pull over. “Alone at last,” he said, then gave me a major kiss. I’m not sure how I managed to do it, but I pushed him away.

“We need to beat the limo to Tribeca so I can make sure everything’s ready for them. Think you can do that?”

“No problem,” he said, and tore out of the airport.

“Then we’ll spend some time alone,” I said, winking at him.

“Awesome,” he said. “Your brother hates me.”

“That’s because he thinks you’re hitting on him,” I said. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m not hitting on him,” he said, getting all defensive. “Dude, I would never do that to you.” And once again, he’d read me perfectly, getting that the last thing I needed in my life was another guy who wanted to sleep with my brother.

“I know. I said he thinks you’re hitting on him, not that you are.”

“I don’t get it. He’s really cute and he’s super-talented. I figured he’d be used to people flirting with him. I thought he’d appreciate the attention.” Zach knew he was hot, so he assumed that by flirting with JJ, JJ would take it as a compliment. His arrogance was endearing.

I laughed. “You know, as good as you are at reading me, you’re bad at reading him.” He gave me a dirty look. “That means you’re really bad at reading him.”

That got me a smile. “Alright, what’s his deal?”

“He’s totally focused on skating. He was a pretty late bloomer, so he’s kind of freaked out about sex, and his body.”

“You’re telling me he’s a virgin?” Zach asked, stunned.

“More or less,” I said. “So quit trying to show him your dragon.”

“He liked my dragon,” Zach said, cracking me up, and then got serious. “Dude, I must have totally pissed him off.”

“He’s usually pissed off anyway,” I said, which wasn’t true, but he usually was bitchy. “And there’s more bad news.”

“What?”

“We need to hang out with him a lot this weekend.”

“Why?”

I sighed. “He’s dealt with 9-11 by burying his head in the ice, and focusing on skating. That’s how he’s handling it. Only he’s not. He’s not really dealing with it at all, he’s just avoiding it.”

“So what’s that mean?”

“I’ve been in agony, fighting with the demons since those fucking attacks, and it wasn’t until I came over here last weekend that I started to really cope with the fact that they were all gone. Kind of like my dad did. JJ’s not there yet. He’s not even close to that point.”

“Holy shit! This could really fuck him up.”

I nodded. “It could. I think he knows that, and I think he knows he has to deal with it. That’s why he came. That, and to laugh at you when we’re shopping.”

“Ha ha ha,” he said with faux grumpiness. “I’m not allowed to help him out like I helped you?”

“No, you’re not,” I said, with a pretty pronounced frown, even though he was just teasing me.

He reached over and held my hand. “You doing OK with that?” He was asking me about the deal with Matt and Tony.

“Matt and Wade broke up,” I said, even though it was more like a divorce. “Matt moved in with Tony.”

“The dude he fucked you over with?!” he asked, really pissed off.

“That’s the one,” I said.

“You’ll be good,” he said, referring to me getting beyond this deal with Matt. “You’ll be even better, actually, with those two douches out of your life.”

“I’m good now,” I said, gripping his hand back even more firmly. I figured I’d get all the unpleasant crap out of the way upfront, so I broached another issue. “I went to dinner with Stef and told him about us.”

“Dude, how many people know we fuck?” he asked, freaking out.

“My family,” I said. “They won’t out you, or say shit.” I knew they wouldn’t, although I wondered about Matt. I didn’t think he’d out a guy like Zach, but then again, I never thought he’d let Tony fuck him either.

“This is a big fucking deal for me,” he said.

“I know that, but no matter what happens, they won’t out you.” He nodded, trusting me since he had no choice.

“So did Stef give you pointers?” he asked, turning into a wolf again.

“Why? What we do isn’t enough fun?” I was suddenly worried that I was sexually boring.

“Yeah, but maybe there’s other fun stuff we’re missing out on.” I grinned, then smiled at that, so excited that he was willing to be sexually adventurous.

“I’ll do some research.”

“You do that,” he said. “So what did he say?”

“He was freaking out because we’re barebacking, and he made me promise him that we’d do something.”

“So now we have to wear condoms?” he asked, and that really bugged him. I understood why he felt that way without him saying anything. It was an issue of trust, and he was insecure about that, because he’d been fighting to try and be trustworthy despite Gathan and Wally’s attempts to blackball him.

“No. He made me promise that we’d pledge to each other that if we had unprotected sex with someone else, we’d admit it and wear condoms until we’re tested again,” I said.

“I can do that,” he said.

“See, it sounded easy to me too, but then he said we have to promise each other that we won’t get pissed off if that happens, if we have unprotected sex with someone else.” I swallowed hard. “That might piss me off.”

He smiled at that, since he could visualize how pissed I could be, and then he thought about my issue, even as he drove into the tunnel to Manhattan. “I see what you mean.” He drove on in silence for a little bit. “Will, I really don’t want to be with anyone but you, but it could happen. I’m getting a bunch of shit from my parents, and from the Piehls, because I’m not dating anyone.”

They were pushing him to date girls, and that meant he’d end up with a beard. That’s what he was telling me. I wanted to freak out on him, but that wasn’t fair. I knew what I was getting into with him. “And it’s possible that I could end up going out with another guy from time to time,” I said, just to keep things fair.

“I don’t want to know about that,” he snapped. We drove out of the tunnel and into Manhattan, and that seemed to spark an idea. “How about if it happens you tell me, or I’ll tell you, but no details are required?”

“So you just say, ‘Hey, we need to wear condoms’?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t want to know more than that.”

“What if I do?” I was more inquisitive than that.

“Then you can’t get pissed off at the answer you get,” he said. And then I could see the beauty of what he was proposing, and I could also see the danger. It set up our relationship to be completely isolated from our regular lives. “That work for you?”

“It works for me,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that it did. We pulled into the garage and parked the Durango, then hauled our bags up to the condo. We walked into the main room and found my father sitting there reading, waiting for us.

“Hello!” he said, and jumped up to give me a big hug, and Zach a demi-hug, in the way his grandfather had taught him, and he’d taught us.

“Everyone else should be right behind us,” I told him. “I need to talk to you about JJ.”

“I heard what happened to you this week,” he growled, referring to the issues with Matt and Frank.

“I need to talk to you about JJ,” I reiterated, and that got him on topic. “He’s going to lose it this weekend.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked. I told him about my conversation with JJ, and my guess that he was just avoiding the whole thing. “I’ll help him out.”

“He can hang out with us too,” Zach offered.

“He’ll need all of us,” Dad said diplomatically. “I put you in the second guestroom, so Frank and Mother can have the master.”

“Then I think we’ll go check it out,” I said. I ignored my father’s look and went into our bedroom. I kissed Zach passionately, a passion he fully returned. “I need to get everyone situated, but then I’m free.”

He reached out and grabbed my dick through my pants in a playful way, making me laugh, and then we adjusted ourselves so we weren’t showing and went out to greet everyone. “I put you and Frank in the main bedroom,” Dad was saying to Grandmaman and Frank. “You have the other guest bedroom,” he said to Stef. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind sharing with me,” he said to JJ.

“I can get a hotel room,” JJ said nervously, even as he looked around at these walls that held such horrible memories.

“It’s too late for that,” I said.

Dad looked at his watch meaningfully. “It’s almost midnight.”

If he snores and keeps you awake, we’ll find something tomorrow,” I added.

“Fine,” JJ agreed grudgingly.

“The game tomorrow is at noon,” Zach said. “It’s early this week.”

“Then we will do our shopping after the game or on Sunday,” Stef decreed.

“There’s a car to take you to the school,” I said. “I’ll go over with Zach.”

“Sounds good,” Frank said. “I’m going to bed.” Grandmaman went with him. The rest of us went into the kitchen and grabbed some snacks.

“I see you did some shopping,” I said to Dad. “Thanks.”

“I had the pantry stocked,” he said, so Zach didn’t think he actually went to a grocery store and lugged all the stuff back himself. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around this week.”

“It was interesting, but I’m fine,” I told him.

“I can’t believe that Matt moved in with Tony,” he said, venting his annoyance. But I didn’t want to think about Matt, or talk about Matt, and I really hadn’t thought about Tony, so I used that as an excuse to bail on them.

“Believe it,” I said abruptly. “I’m going to bed. We’ll see you at the game.” He looked at me nervously, as if worried he’d upset me, but then seemed to figure out that I was OK. I led Zach back to the bedroom, locked the door, and then reunited with him physically. Several times.

 

November 10, 2001

Tribeca, NYC

 

I poured two glasses of cognac and took them into the main room, where Stef sat gazing out the windows at Manhattan’s blinking lights. “Here,” I said, pulling him out of his introspection.

“Thank you,” he said, forcing himself to mentally rejoin me. “This city is so alive.”

“Yes it is,” I agreed. “I stayed here this week and really enjoyed myself. The only thing that sucks is the traffic.”

“That is saying something coming from someone raised in the Bay Area,” he joked, making me chuckle. “Is JJ in bed?”

“He is,” I said. “I don’t know if he’s sleeping, but I figured I’d give him some time to himself.” He had pretended to be dozing, and that was a pretty clear sign that he didn’t want to be bothered.

“Will is very worried about him,” Stef said.

“He is,” I agreed. “I’m worried about both of them.”

“I think that Will is doing fine,” Stef said. “He is angry at Matt, but he has chosen to work through that by avoiding him.”

“So he’s just going to ignore the problem?” I asked. That was pretty foreign to me, and to Will. Stef laughed, which kind of pissed me off.

“JP explained it to us at dinner, and he likened Will’s attitude now to the attitude you had with Robbie back in high school.” I was trying to figure out which attitude he was talking about, but fortunately he enlightened me. “I am thinking of that time when you pledged not to let anyone else fuck you, but Robbie broke that pledge by sleeping with that large, handsome football player.”

It said something about my feelings for Robbie that I felt myself get pissed off about that all over again. “I was pretty angry.”

Stef laughed again, only this time I joined him. “JP explained that just as you had to cool down before Robbie could approach you, so Will has to work this through in his own mind before he’ll be willing to listen to Matt.”

I smiled and nodded. “That makes sense. I get it now. That’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it, or think about it.” He had pretty abruptly shut down the topic when I’d raised it.

“And how has your week been? Did you have any more dates with Chris Mendoza?”

I frowned, which just made him smile. “So Will told you all about that.”

“But of course,” he said dismissively. “It was within the realm of allowable gossip. It is not as if he interrupted you having sex with him.”

“Right,” I said dubiously.

“Did you have sex with him?”

I shook my head in frustration at how irrepressible Stef was. “No, I did not. Last Saturday, after we went out, he kissed me goodnight.”

“You have lost your touch,” Stef said, as if I wanted to sleep with Chris but couldn’t.

“I’m not ready to go there yet,” I said. My tone was serious, so his attitude adapted to match it. “I don’t want another relationship. I have enough people to be responsible for, and to worry about.”

“I wonder if that is what is driving Matt’s actions,” Stef said.

“I think with him, he’s just trying to avoid intimacy with anyone,” I said. I’d talked to my shrink about it, and that was his read, so I was just parroting that back to Stef. “He’s probably mad at everyone, at the world.”

“That is very self-destructive,” Stef noted sadly. I nodded my agreement. “While we are on unpleasant topics, I have some bad news to share with you.”

“Go on,” I said nervously, wondering what else he could possibly toss in my lap to make my life any worse.

“Aaron Hayes died. I got word today from Los Negros. He died of skin cancer.” I digested that, and while it was sad, it didn’t really bother me all that much. It was very hard to feel sorry for Aaron, after the way he bailed on his family. Stef and JP seemed much more able to forgive him for that than everyone else.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and managed to sound sincere. “How did Frank handle it?”

“For him, it was good news,” Stef grumbled. It made sense that Frank would be bitter. He’d grown up in an abusive household, and seen his family torn apart, because of Aaron’s selfish decision to fake his own death.

“Did you let Nathan know?” I asked, referring to Aaron’s brother, who lived in Detroit.

“I did,” Stef said.

“Did he have a family or anyone there with him?”

“There was a man living with him. I saw him briefly when I was there. Aaron left his house and possessions to him,” I said. “I sent him a check to help him out during this time.”

“That was nice of you,” I said. I finished my cognac. “I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Good night,” Stef said. I went to the bedroom and got ready, then climbed into bed. This room had two queen-sized beds, so I didn’t have to worry about jostling JJ awake. I looked over and his back was to me. He was breathing softly, like he was sleeping, so I left him alone.

Copyright © 2014 Mark Arbour; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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On 02/10/2014 03:19 PM, gjtravel2a said:
Does this mean if you did a 'double hold', we would get another chapter by morning? ; )

I do so love this story, it is entertaining, powerful and challenging. The ever-roiling emotions seem quite realistic considering all they have gone through and I think that having characters act unusually at times is both fun as well as could be expected considering, again, what incredible challenges they have faced and are facing. The occasional odd behaviour is very human.

As I read through the 'sturm und drang' of the reviews, I am amazed at your near 'saint-like' patience and good humor with your unruly devotees!!! I know it is more than I would have so it is just another point of admiration.

Thanks again..

Gene

LOL. Not likely on the double hold, but I admire your willingness to scheme. :-)

 

Sometimes a break is useful for not only reflection, but to restore that patience.

  • Like 2

I think what Matt needs now is someone from the family to sort of be there but not get too involved with him or interfere with the way he's handling things. That way if he does hit rock bottom he has a hand to reach out to as apposed to other alternatives like drugs, alcohol and sometimes even suicide. I dont know, personal opinion really. JJ has always been one of my favourites and it would be interesting to see how his relationship with brad improves or not as he hopefully starts dealing with this tragedy.

  • Like 2

I so enjoy this book, as well as the others in the series, and I think it's important to remember that, probably, most of us reading this weren't directly affected by the events of 9/11. That is to say that we weren't in the towers nor did we lose someone in the collapse of the towers.

That being said, I also have to go back and remind myself over and over again that this story is not following the same time line we do. They were all there when it happened and are only a month and a half out from the devastation and death that was caused. It has to have a profound effect on how you view things and on how you react to situations.

Family dynamics plus the stress of 9/11 coupled with death and dealing with all that has frayed emotions, split relationships and brought others closer together. I think this family is doing as well as can be expected, given what they have all been through.

Thanks, Mark, for a very exciting roller coaster ride through the lives and emotions of this family. I can't wait for it to continue!!!

  • Like 2
On 02/10/2014 04:24 PM, T.O. said:
I think what Matt needs now is someone from the family to sort of be there but not get too involved with him or interfere with the way he's handling things. That way if he does hit rock bottom he has a hand to reach out to as apposed to other alternatives like drugs, alcohol and sometimes even suicide. I dont know, personal opinion really. JJ has always been one of my favourites and it would be interesting to see how his relationship with brad improves or not as he hopefully starts dealing with this tragedy.
That's a really interesting question: if Matt is plummeting to the bottom, who would be there to help him out when things get really bad? Not many people left in his life to do that.

 

One of the things I liked about writing Paternity was the different dynamic between Brad and his sons. JJ is rather aloof, but he respects Brad and his authority. I think that Brad will have to take an active approach if he wants to gain admission to JJ's brain.

  • Like 2
On 02/10/2014 04:39 PM, Gene63 said:
I so enjoy this book, as well as the others in the series, and I think it's important to remember that, probably, most of us reading this weren't directly affected by the events of 9/11. That is to say that we weren't in the towers nor did we lose someone in the collapse of the towers.

That being said, I also have to go back and remind myself over and over again that this story is not following the same time line we do. They were all there when it happened and are only a month and a half out from the devastation and death that was caused. It has to have a profound effect on how you view things and on how you react to situations.

Family dynamics plus the stress of 9/11 coupled with death and dealing with all that has frayed emotions, split relationships and brought others closer together. I think this family is doing as well as can be expected, given what they have all been through.

Thanks, Mark, for a very exciting roller coaster ride through the lives and emotions of this family. I can't wait for it to continue!!!

Gene,

 

You make excellent points. I probably should have accelerated the pace of the post-9-11 storyline, but I think that was worth microviewing, even if it does require us to remember that time (for us) is moving very slowly.

  • Like 2

Okay, for everything I found wrong with the last chapter; I found something equally positive about this one.

 

I was really impressed with how Will went to Frank and talked to him and reached out not to just apologize but get him to come and try to get Frank into Zach's corner. It does still bother me that everyone seems to be catering to Will's point of view to some extent because I really do think from a theraputic standpoint it will do more damage in the long run than help anything even in the short term. I do agree that the bond between Will, JJ, and Darius seems to have strengthened even more after all the trauma. I do appreciate that Will is willing to give up some of his Zach time in order to make sure that JJ's visit back is backstopped with additional support. I don't think that Will ever really treated Matt like a brother until he decided that he would play the brother card in order to deny Matt from making his own choice about sleeping with Tony. I think the fact that everyone acts as if Will and Matt should have some kind of sibling bond when neither has really done anything to establish or build upon that type of relationship is puzzling. I do think that Will's therapist and the family are making a mistake in how they are handling Will but since we can't see every aspect of the story from every point of view it is hard to say that with as much passion as I went with last chapter.

 

I am sad about Aaron. I really enjoyed The Box and really developed a touchstone for the whole series in how Aaron and Steven handled their life. I didn't think Aaron's decision was as horrible as some did but in view of the time and how being gay was viewed might have even been a really viable alternative. I can see why both Stef and JP would be more effected by his passing but don't really see how Frank can blame Aaron for all of the issues his father had and turned on Frank and his brothers. I can see why Stef would want to take some time to decide if Zach should really be given full access to the diary and all the information about the past.

 

I do hope that Frank and Zach can get on a level playing field with how they view each other. I think that if Frank can see the good in Zach and even the positive in Zach and Will's closet relationship he will be able to help with Wally and Clara and maybe even help Zach's relationship with Wally.

 

I will be very interested in seeing JJ's point of view. In some ways, he lost more of his support network after 9/11 than any other member of the family. I think this is partly why he has tried to bury himself in his skating and not dealt with the issues as well as others in the family has done so.

  • Like 2
On 02/10/2014 04:56 PM, centexhairysub said:
Okay, for everything I found wrong with the last chapter; I found something equally positive about this one.

 

I was really impressed with how Will went to Frank and talked to him and reached out not to just apologize but get him to come and try to get Frank into Zach's corner. It does still bother me that everyone seems to be catering to Will's point of view to some extent because I really do think from a theraputic standpoint it will do more damage in the long run than help anything even in the short term. I do agree that the bond between Will, JJ, and Darius seems to have strengthened even more after all the trauma. I do appreciate that Will is willing to give up some of his Zach time in order to make sure that JJ's visit back is backstopped with additional support. I don't think that Will ever really treated Matt like a brother until he decided that he would play the brother card in order to deny Matt from making his own choice about sleeping with Tony. I think the fact that everyone acts as if Will and Matt should have some kind of sibling bond when neither has really done anything to establish or build upon that type of relationship is puzzling. I do think that Will's therapist and the family are making a mistake in how they are handling Will but since we can't see every aspect of the story from every point of view it is hard to say that with as much passion as I went with last chapter.

 

I am sad about Aaron. I really enjoyed The Box and really developed a touchstone for the whole series in how Aaron and Steven handled their life. I didn't think Aaron's decision was as horrible as some did but in view of the time and how being gay was viewed might have even been a really viable alternative. I can see why both Stef and JP would be more effected by his passing but don't really see how Frank can blame Aaron for all of the issues his father had and turned on Frank and his brothers. I can see why Stef would want to take some time to decide if Zach should really be given full access to the diary and all the information about the past.

 

I do hope that Frank and Zach can get on a level playing field with how they view each other. I think that if Frank can see the good in Zach and even the positive in Zach and Will's closet relationship he will be able to help with Wally and Clara and maybe even help Zach's relationship with Wally.

 

I will be very interested in seeing JJ's point of view. In some ways, he lost more of his support network after 9/11 than any other member of the family. I think this is partly why he has tried to bury himself in his skating and not dealt with the issues as well as others in the family has done so.

We've flogged the Matt-Will-Tony thing to death in these reviews. Personally, I think that the way Will views sibling relationships makes his actions and expectations understandable. And it's important to note that Will's views on that mirror those of his family, and that would tend to be the defining cultural judge. I think he has every right to be incredibly pissed off at Matt. I think that the people in Will's life would be wise to let him cool down. Forcing a confrontation between two people who aren't ready for it is a really bad idea, and that's what would happen here. It's not just Will who wants a gulf between himself and Matt; Matt wants that too.

 

Instead, you have Stef, who probably means well, but just makes the problems worse with his catty innuendos. Family members trying to help by pushing the issue are just creating problems.

 

Leaving the situation alone is probably the best, and smartest approach at this point. I think this is even more applicable when you consider the personalities of the two key players here: Will and Matt. Neither one of them carries a grudge excessively, and both of them are very forgiving. It would seem to be inevitable that they could work things through, given some time and distance.

 

It is really hard to parse out blame in the Hayes family meltdown. I can see why Frank would grab onto his views of Aaron, because it makes it a lot easier to blame Aaron than to go on hating his father. Not to mention that Frank tends to like things in black-and-white, easy to comprehend pieces. Frank's been able to wrap up his miserable childhood in one nice, neat bundle, blame the problems on Aaron, and move on.

 

And while Frank can be helpful in helping Zach out, he's not the key to Zach dealing with Wally. That job belongs to someone else. ;-)

 

.

  • Like 2

First of all, I don’t think that any of the characters in this story have behaved, “out of character”, in any way, shape, or form. A lot of these characters have been working very hard to repress a lot of things for a very long time. The magnitude of the recent trauma has been such that they simply can’t do that anymore. Nobody in this story is manifesting a new personality, or exhibiting new problems, they are simply being forced to deal with pre-existing problems that then can no longer control.

 

If there is anything that all of these men share in common, as far as tragic flaws go, it’s the belief that willpower can deliver so much more than it actually can. I am not questioning force of will as a valuable asset; however, willpower is no substitute for introspection. How many times have we seen these men do things that a little introspection would tell them were bad ideas, simply because they felt that they had the “power” to make right any consequences which might result from their actions?

 

Keeping that in mind, I find it hard not to feel a little for Wade. No matter how hard he tries to frame this in his own mind as though everything just unwound on him, love just does not work that way. A little perspective from Nana might go a long way toward helping him. It is great writing on your part Mark, the way the Wade and Matt thing seem completely final and unrecoverable, as that is the way things like they are going through feel at the time. Nevertheless, I think it is also a good idea to remind ourselves that this is the CAP saga, and that this is not even remotely close to being the most intense division in a relationship that characters in this story have recovered from. I would also not discount, long term, JP’s desire to keep his family together, and his ability to make things happen over the long term. My point about willpower being no substitute for introspection above, JP’s will to restore his family over time is nothing to be taken lightly.

 

Regarding Matt, one character who perspective has not been a huge factor so far, but who probably has more of a unique insight into Matt than anyone else, is Stef. The environment a person lives in, particularly when they are growing up, has a profound impact on their perspective. To an extraordinary degree, the world the core family members live in conforms to them. The only two people who have ever really lived outside of the bubble are Stef and Matt. Consider as an example that scene, when Matt is first heading out to California to try and find Robbie, when he is pulled over and raped by the cop. There is nothing someone like Matt can do in a situation like that. Compare that to the way that Brad or Will see the police. Completely the reverse of the situation with Matt as a kid, there is nothing an ordinary police officer could do to prevent someone like Brad from completely destroying their career. Of course, Stef is as affected by recent events as anyone else, and is very emotionally close to Will, so it is easy to see why he would not be leading the way. Be that as it may, at some point his input may be critical to helping Wade and Matt sort things out (however it is resolved). I would also point out that the fact that Matt has a lot of personality traits which are annoying (to the other family members) tends to lead them to drastically underestimate his toughness and strength of will (a sad point, really, given the enormous things he has overcome, not the least of which being a serous confrontation with his own mortality).

 

I trust this finds you and yours well,

Jason

On 02/10/2014 08:26 PM, said:
First of all, I don’t think that any of the characters in this story have behaved, “out of character”, in any way, shape, or form. A lot of these characters have been working very hard to repress a lot of things for a very long time. The magnitude of the recent trauma has been such that they simply can’t do that anymore. Nobody in this story is manifesting a new personality, or exhibiting new problems, they are simply being forced to deal with pre-existing problems that then can no longer control.

 

If there is anything that all of these men share in common, as far as tragic flaws go, it’s the belief that willpower can deliver so much more than it actually can. I am not questioning force of will as a valuable asset; however, willpower is no substitute for introspection. How many times have we seen these men do things that a little introspection would tell them were bad ideas, simply because they felt that they had the “power” to make right any consequences which might result from their actions?

 

Keeping that in mind, I find it hard not to feel a little for Wade. No matter how hard he tries to frame this in his own mind as though everything just unwound on him, love just does not work that way. A little perspective from Nana might go a long way toward helping him. It is great writing on your part Mark, the way the Wade and Matt thing seem completely final and unrecoverable, as that is the way things like they are going through feel at the time. Nevertheless, I think it is also a good idea to remind ourselves that this is the CAP saga, and that this is not even remotely close to being the most intense division in a relationship that characters in this story have recovered from. I would also not discount, long term, JP’s desire to keep his family together, and his ability to make things happen over the long term. My point about willpower being no substitute for introspection above, JP’s will to restore his family over time is nothing to be taken lightly.

 

Regarding Matt, one character who perspective has not been a huge factor so far, but who probably has more of a unique insight into Matt than anyone else, is Stef. The environment a person lives in, particularly when they are growing up, has a profound impact on their perspective. To an extraordinary degree, the world the core family members live in conforms to them. The only two people who have ever really lived outside of the bubble are Stef and Matt. Consider as an example that scene, when Matt is first heading out to California to try and find Robbie, when he is pulled over and raped by the cop. There is nothing someone like Matt can do in a situation like that. Compare that to the way that Brad or Will see the police. Completely the reverse of the situation with Matt as a kid, there is nothing an ordinary police officer could do to prevent someone like Brad from completely destroying their career. Of course, Stef is as affected by recent events as anyone else, and is very emotionally close to Will, so it is easy to see why he would not be leading the way. Be that as it may, at some point his input may be critical to helping Wade and Matt sort things out (however it is resolved). I would also point out that the fact that Matt has a lot of personality traits which are annoying (to the other family members) tends to lead them to drastically underestimate his toughness and strength of will (a sad point, really, given the enormous things he has overcome, not the least of which being a serous confrontation with his own mortality).

 

I trust this finds you and yours well,

Jason

As always, Jason, I appreciate your insights. I hadn't really thought of the concept of willpower vs. introspection, but I can see how that would impact them. I would have to believe that their reliance on willpower would be, as you said, a symptom of that real economic and political power they wield.

 

One thing to consider, though, is that Matt is unique in that he comes from a very wealthy family, and he normally would not have to worry about cops any more than Will or JJ would. I think the situation in Texas was unique in that Matt was disoriented and vulnerable, otherwise I would have expected him to be more aggressive in arguing with the cop.

  • Like 2
On 02/11/2014 01:11 AM, PrivateTim said:
Cheap Spanish novella? Oh hell no! if you tweaked the characters to make them straight instead of gay Crónicas De Un Depredador Académico would be a multi-million dollar, long running TV series on Telemundo with Ricardo Montalbán as JP :P
Actually, I read this review and then thought of that SNL skit: The Californians. http://screen.yahoo.com/californians-karina-returns-000000291.html
  • Like 2

Hi Mark,

 

Thanks for the next chapter of the CAP saga.

 

A good chapter again, but saying that seems surplus to requirement, given the magnitude of your talent.

 

I'm going to take a minority position again, I think: I don't like the apology Will gave Frank, for the arguably od reason that he was right to call bullshit on him. I get the feeling Will is opportunistic here. He apologises for show, rather than because he was wrong.

 

In light of my renewed criticism I feel I have to explain myself. I guess I dislike Will so much because in a lot of ways he's a lot like me: apart from being emancipated, he's like me in that I wanted to lead my own life, long before I reached adulthood. The thing is, I, or at least I like to think of it like that, did allow for other people to guide me. And if they had a solid story behind it I gladly adjusted, rather than throw a tantrum. So I'd like to apologise for any past transgressions (and undoubtedly upcoming ones) against your artwork, otherwise known as the CAP saga. I can't handle people that are so much like myself and make comparatively worse choices.

 

I did like the conversation between Will and Stef. Although I'm shocked Will didn't have a fit over Stef's too overt remarks about Matt. I share the belief of some of the reviewees that placating Will's refusal to deal with the issue is the wrong thing to do. I liked the comparison drawn with the row between Robbie and Brad, but to the best of my recollection we weren't in front row seats for Brad's process there. I feel that he was more contemplative than Will seems to be. Then again, in all fairness, Brad hadn't been through 9/11 to compound the problem.

 

I loved the way Will and Zach talked. Although I'm still fearful for Zach's influence on Will, his actions so far can only instill confidence.

 

I hope you enjoy your time off from feeding your following, but I think you'll face (semi-) serious threats if we have to wait for more than 2 weeks

 

Lots of loving cuddles to the best online author imaginable.

 

Maarten

  • Like 2
On 02/11/2014 02:30 AM, jellybean said:
Hmm... What on earth will JP do, all alone for the weekend (assuming Wade is at the hotel with Klip)? If only there were someone he could spend a little time with - someone in dire need of his sage advice and support...

Thanks for the great chapter!

JB

I think that JP is so old and boring now, that he'll probably relish the peace and quiet without his drama-laced family members around. I'm thinking he'll do some research, read some journal articles, go riding, and smoke some weed. ;-)
  • Like 2
On 02/11/2014 02:44 AM, shyboy85 said:
Hi Mark,

 

Thanks for the next chapter of the CAP saga.

 

A good chapter again, but saying that seems surplus to requirement, given the magnitude of your talent.

 

I'm going to take a minority position again, I think: I don't like the apology Will gave Frank, for the arguably od reason that he was right to call bullshit on him. I get the feeling Will is opportunistic here. He apologises for show, rather than because he was wrong.

 

In light of my renewed criticism I feel I have to explain myself. I guess I dislike Will so much because in a lot of ways he's a lot like me: apart from being emancipated, he's like me in that I wanted to lead my own life, long before I reached adulthood. The thing is, I, or at least I like to think of it like that, did allow for other people to guide me. And if they had a solid story behind it I gladly adjusted, rather than throw a tantrum. So I'd like to apologise for any past transgressions (and undoubtedly upcoming ones) against your artwork, otherwise known as the CAP saga. I can't handle people that are so much like myself and make comparatively worse choices.

 

I did like the conversation between Will and Stef. Although I'm shocked Will didn't have a fit over Stef's too overt remarks about Matt. I share the belief of some of the reviewees that placating Will's refusal to deal with the issue is the wrong thing to do. I liked the comparison drawn with the row between Robbie and Brad, but to the best of my recollection we weren't in front row seats for Brad's process there. I feel that he was more contemplative than Will seems to be. Then again, in all fairness, Brad hadn't been through 9/11 to compound the problem.

 

I loved the way Will and Zach talked. Although I'm still fearful for Zach's influence on Will, his actions so far can only instill confidence.

 

I hope you enjoy your time off from feeding your following, but I think you'll face (semi-) serious threats if we have to wait for more than 2 weeks

 

Lots of loving cuddles to the best online author imaginable.

 

Maarten

Thanks Maarten, for your nice words. You have a very different view of Will than most do (and that I do), and that's OK, as long as you're not upset when I disagree with you. ;-)

 

I think that Will's apology was a good thing. He is doing better, but he needs to learn not to lash out, but to present his arguments in a civil and rational manner. That level of maturity escapes most adults. ;-) But if he fails in that, it's important for him to acknowledge and apologize for it, which is what he did. And I think his overriding message was spot on: Frank isn't responsible for Matt, Wally, or Clara, and it's unfair to hold him accountable for their actions. I think, though, that when Frank sets himself up as their big defenders, and trumpets their views, it is reasonable that he hear the other side. Just not in attack-dog format.

  • Like 2

Mark, Thank you for posting Chapter 73. I was pleased to find that there was not as much turmoil as in past chapters. I liked Will apologizing to Frank. Although Will might be doing it to some extent to try to calm down the family, I think that he is beginning to realize that Frank's weekend with Matt was only a start to Frank's recovery from his loss. Will recognizes that JJ desperatly needs help because up to this point, JJ has focused on skating as an escape so he would not have to come to terms with his emotions. I think some of this insight into JJ has helped Will to recognize Frank's need for help as well. I hope that Will becomes the man that would make JP, Stef, and Brad proud and helps JJ and Frank face their demons.

On another note. Your response from my comment in Chapter 72 regarding the presence of several academics here in the forum made me wonder if they too recalled pleasant memories when they read the very first book of the CAP series describing JP's adventures in campus T-Rooms. I recall a number of my own adventures meating up with many hot and horny jocks and afterwards, sending them on their way, drained and completely satisfied. OH MY, those were the days.

So until you post the next chapter, I will be reading your other stories and series.

Thanks again for all your efforts to keep us smiling.

  • Like 2
On 02/12/2014 08:44 AM, jack.unders said:
Mark, Thank you for posting Chapter 73. I was pleased to find that there was not as much turmoil as in past chapters. I liked Will apologizing to Frank. Although Will might be doing it to some extent to try to calm down the family, I think that he is beginning to realize that Frank's weekend with Matt was only a start to Frank's recovery from his loss. Will recognizes that JJ desperatly needs help because up to this point, JJ has focused on skating as an escape so he would not have to come to terms with his emotions. I think some of this insight into JJ has helped Will to recognize Frank's need for help as well. I hope that Will becomes the man that would make JP, Stef, and Brad proud and helps JJ and Frank face their demons.

On another note. Your response from my comment in Chapter 72 regarding the presence of several academics here in the forum made me wonder if they too recalled pleasant memories when they read the very first book of the CAP series describing JP's adventures in campus T-Rooms. I recall a number of my own adventures meating up with many hot and horny jocks and afterwards, sending them on their way, drained and completely satisfied. OH MY, those were the days.

So until you post the next chapter, I will be reading your other stories and series.

Thanks again for all your efforts to keep us smiling.

Will's temper is legendary, and usually sparks some nasty comments here, but one of the saving traits of his character is that he usually is able to mirror himself, and try to atone for his errors. This is typical Will: he got a little too heated, used Frank as a target, but when he figured it out, he tried to make things right. He would be truly awful (like some people I know IRL) if he got heated, used someone as a target, and then never said he was sorry.

 

I think that also translates back the other way with Will. If someone pisses him off, but apologizes sincerely, he forgives them pretty quickly, and much more completely than I think I could.

 

As for the tea rooms, I'm quite sure I have no idea what you're talking about. ;-)

  • Like 2

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