9.11 - 76. Chapter 76

November 21, 2001

In the air, over Utah

I walked out of the lavatory and surveyed the plane and its passengers. In the back, Tiffany sat with the nurses, one each for Riley and Maddy, while the babies were in the bedroom sleeping. In the middle of the plane, Ethan lay on a couch, softly snoring. I headed to the front where Wade and Gathan were sitting, and took my seat in the chair on the right side, the captain’s chair, since it was my father’s plane.

Wade was reading some reports, but it seemed like he was doing it just to avoid talking to the rest of us. “You alright?” I asked him.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, with uncharacteristic bitchiness. I looked at Gathan who raised his eyebrow in surprise.

“Alright then,” I said, smiling at Wade.

He put down his reports and glared at me, and I was worried that he was really going to lay into me, but he mellowed. “I had lunch with Matt yesterday.” I didn’t say anything, which was my standard response when Matt came up as a topic.

“Food must have sucked, since you look pissed off,” Gathan joked. He and I chuckled, eventually getting a slight grin from Wade.

“We went to a diner on the El Camino, and it was OK,” he said. “And I’m not pissed off.”

“That’s fine,” I said, indicating that I was dropping the subject.

“Matt told me that he was going to try and get his shit together,” Gathan said to Wade. Was it necessary to talk about Matt all the fucking time? “He said that meant getting Will to not hate him, and getting back together with you.”

“Then I’m betting he doesn’t get his shit together,” I said.

“Me too,” Wade said sadly. “I mean, I hope he does, and I hope he’s happy, but he and I aren’t getting back together.”

“Wow,” Gathan said. “So you broke up with him?”

“We already did that,” Wade said. “But yesterday I told him I didn’t love him anymore.”

Gathan looked stunned, and I knew I did too. For some reason, throughout this whole thing, I always assumed that Wade still loved Matt. I’d thought they’d get back together again, and as much as Matt bothered me, I’d resolved to deal with him. But to have Wade tell Matt he didn’t love him; that must have really fucked Matt up. “Did you see Matt last night?” I asked Gathan. They were all within their rights to ask me why the fuck I cared, but they didn’t.

“Nope,” Gathan said. “But I was at a Kappa party, and he hasn’t been hanging at sororities much.”

“I saw him on campus today,” Wade said. “We almost ran into each other at Tresidder. He just gave me a dirty look and walked away.” We didn’t say anything, we just digested that, until Gathan decided to change the subject.

“So you’re going to stay pissed at him forever?” Gathan asked me, getting a really dirty look in response.

“I’m going to stay the fuck away from him until I’m ready to talk to him,” I snapped. “Besides, he’s not ready to talk to me either.”

“He apologized to you,” Wade said.

“Seriously? He gave me a half-assed apology at dinner, and he only did it to make everyone happy, the same reason that I didn’t rip him a new asshole,” I said firmly. “He was lying. He’s not sorry at all. If he was, he wouldn’t have moved in with Tony.”

“Yeah, but...” Gathan started.

I cut him off. “I don’t get why everyone thinks they have the right to tell me how I should feel about Matt, or how I should treat Matt. So let’s start with that. Why don’t you guys explain that to me, and then we’ll have a conversation about how badly I’m treating him.” Neither one of them said anything for a while, and then Gathan changed the subject again.

“So you’re single now?” Gathan asked Wade with a leer.

“I’m single now,” Wade confirmed, but in a way that suggested there was no way he was sleeping with Gathan.

“I’m still trying to figure out if you convinced Klip to try out some man love,” Gathan joked. “You guys seem pretty tight.”

It was pretty extraordinary, and I’m not sure if Gathan caught it or not, but when Gathan said that, Wade’s expression changed for a bit, and that told me that Gathan had hit pretty close to home. “Dude, I wish,” I said, to get Wade off the hook. “Klip is smoking hot.”

“We’re friends,” Wade said. “Just friends.” I didn’t believe that, but Gathan seemed to.

“So how’s Kristin?” I asked Gathan, since he’d been poking at Wade and me.

“Fine,” he said. “She loves Vanderbilt.”

“She coming home for Thanksgiving?”

“She said she is,” he said non-commitally.

“You haven’t talked to her?” Wade asked.

“She’s been dating some dude there,” Gathan said, his eyes flashing with anger. “She said he may come back with her.”

“Bummer,” I said sympathetically.

“It’s whatever,” Gathan said, like it didn’t matter. “You hear about the big fight in New Jersey last weekend?”

“I heard about it,” I said.

“What happened?” Wade asked.

“Wally was doing what he usually does after a game, and was ripping Zach into pieces. Frank called him on it,” I said.

“He doesn’t rip Zach into pieces,” Gathan said, with his knee-jerk loyalty to Wally. “He’s just trying to help him out.”

“That’s the biggest bunch of crap I’ve heard,” I said. “I’ve been there; I’ve seen him do it. Zach could be Marshal-fucking-Faulk and Wally would bitch at him for how he played.”

“They’re talking about Zach moving back to Claremont,” Gathan said.

I laughed. “They can talk all they want, he’s not moving back to Claremont. He worked too hard to get the hell out of there.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Claremont,” Gathan insisted.

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with Claremont,” I said. It actually had turned into a much cooler place. “That’s not why he left.”

“He left so he’d get scouted,” Gathan said, like he knew. “He’s got enough attention now that they’ll track him down in Claremont.”

“That’s not why he left,” I said to him, looking at him like he was a naïve idiot. “He left to get away from Wally.”

“That’s what he told you,” Gathan said, as if Zach were lying to me.

“That’s what he told me,” I agreed. “Right after Wally ripped him up for something stupid, after he turned in one of the best performances at Don Bosco.”

“That’s what he says now,” Gathan persisted. “He’s just rewriting history. That’s not why he left Claremont.”

“So you know what he feels and thinks better than he does?” I asked caustically. “Zach is so managed by you and Wally, he’s not allowed to do anything right, or even control his own emotions.”

“That’s not true, and you’re just putting these ideas in his head,” Gathan accused.

“What ideas?”

“He doesn’t listen to my parents anymore. He does his own thing and basically tells them to go fuck themselves. Those ideas,” he spat.

“For them, it’s about bending him to their authority,” I said snidely. “That’s all they care about.”

“They care about Zach,” Gathan said. “They know how he is.”

“They care about controlling Zach,” I said. “He wants to be in charge of his own life, and his own destiny. And he knows that they’ll just fuck things up when he’s ready to talk to colleges, and go to the show.”

“You know, you keep this up, and you won’t be allowed to see him at all,” Gathan said.

I laughed at that, really laughed. “They’d make him stay away from me, because he feels happy and independent when we’re together?” I shook my head. “They could try, but even if they did, it wouldn’t change a damn thing.” I almost made some snarky comment about how now that Zach had tasted freedom, they couldn’t lock him back up in his cage, but I didn’t.

“Whatever,” Gathan said, being bitchy.

“So why are you here? Why are you going to see him play?” I demanded.

“I want to see if he’s as good as everyone says he is,” Gathan said.

“And you’re a football expert?”

“I know enough to know if he’s good or not,” Gathan said.

“When’s the last time you saw him play?” I asked.

“It’s been a couple of years,” Gathan admitted.

“You didn’t go to the games when he was in high school with you?”

“He was a freshman my senior year,” Gathan said. “He only got to play in a few games.”

“Did he go see you play hockey?”

“Every once in a while,” Gathan said.

“Zach told me that he went to most of your games,” I said.

“I didn’t keep track,” Gathan snapped.

“Zach did,” I said. There was an uncomfortable silence, then Wade went back to reading his papers, and I pulled out my homework and knocked it out so I’d have it done for the weekend. I was just finishing up my last assignment when the phone rang. It was the pilot, telling me we’d be landing in half an hour. I relayed that to Gathan and Wade, then got up and went back to tell the others. I sat next to Ethan and gently shook him. “Hey!”

He woke up with a start. “What?” he asked belligerently.

“We’re landing in half an hour,” I said.

“Oh. Thanks,” he said, and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. I told Tiffany and the nurses, and then stopped to talk to Ethan on my way back.

“You excited to go to Goodwell?” I asked.

“I’m nervous, more than excited,” he said. He’d really mellowed after his time with Nana. He wasn’t the little douchebag he’d been when we’d first met, and I’d responded accordingly.

“No shit. That has to be weird for you.”

He shrugged. “There’s this whole family that I’m part of, but I hardly know anyone.”

“Dude, you know Wade; he’ll help you out. And you know Nana, so go see her if anyone gives you any shit,” I said. We both laughed at that.

“I’m probably safe for the weekend,” he said, thinking of how formidable Nana was.

“Bank on it,” I said, then headed back to my seat. The plane landed, and it didn’t take all that long to get them out and packed into the big Suburban limo that came to pick them up. None of them looked overly happy about being in Virginia. Probably how I’d feel about Claremont tomorrow.

Gathan and I settled back in the plane for the short flight to New Jersey. “How are we getting to New York?” he asked.

“Zach is picking us up,” I said.

“In the Durango,” he said in his snarky way.

“In the Durango,” I confirmed. “And just so you know, if you decide to turn into Wally tomorrow, and rip him about his performance, I’ve got my memory banks loaded with all the stupid ass moves you’ve made playing hockey.”

“I’m not going to do that,” he said, giving me a dirty look.

“Guess we’ll see,” I said sarcastically, then we shut up for the rest of the flight. We landed, and saw the Durango pull up onto the ramp. It had been almost two weeks since I’d seen Zach, and I really missed him. We talked on the phone at least once a day, and it had been agonizing to stay home last weekend instead of going to New Jersey. I waited impatiently for the pilot to open the door, and Gathan wisely let me get out first. I all but ran down the stairs, but approached Zach cautiously, letting him decide how intimately he wanted to greet me.

I didn’t have to worry about that: I got one of his massive hugs. “So awesome to see you,” he murmured in my ear, sending tingles up and down my body.

“Ditto,” I said.

“Hey Gathan,” Zach said, fist bumping his brother in a very distant way.

“Hey,” Gathan responded.

“Thanks for coming out to see me,” he said.

“Didn’t have anything better to do,” Gathan said, but smiled to show he was joking.

“Sucks to be you then,” Zach said back playfully.

“Shotgun!” Gathan called. That was mildly annoying, but I didn’t say anything. I mean, I’d just let him tag along and fly out here to New York with me, and he wants to push me off into the back seat? Turned out that I didn’t have to say anything; Zach did it for me.

“Well, since you did everything to make sure I couldn’t get a car, and Will bought me the Durango, I’d say he gets to sit up front, and you’re lucky I’m giving you a ride,” Zach said to him in a particularly nasty way.

That pissed Gathan off, but he didn’t say anything, he just hopped into the back seat. I got the feeling that Gathan was used to grinding Zach under his thumb, and that Zach didn’t spout off to him like he’d just done all that often. Zach drove out of the airport and started heading toward Tribeca.

“I hear you may be moving back to Claremont,” Gathan said, tossing that out like it was a bomb.

“You talking to me?” Zach asked innocently.

“Well I’m sure as fuck not moving there,” I joked. Gathan ignored me completely.

“I’m talking to you,” Gathan said firmly, his eyes making contact with Zach in the rear-view mirror.

“I’m not moving back to Claremont,” Zach said, laughing.

“You do if Ma and Pa say you do,” Gathan said. I thought it was interesting that he referred to Wally and Clara as Pa and Ma, while Zach called them Dad and Mom.

“I don’t care what they say, or you say, I’m not going back to Claremont. Ever,” Zach said firmly.

“Then where are you going to go?” Gathan asked. “You can’t stay here.”

“Why can’t you stay here?” I asked.

“He didn’t tell you?” Gathan taunted.

“This shit just came down two days ago,” Zach snapped at him all pissed off. “And I’ve already got a new plan.”

“What plan?” Gathan asked.

Zach ignored him and looked at me. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Fine,” I said calmly. It was a tense ride to New York, and I felt the same freakiness I always felt when I got there, so I tuned the two of them out and tried to deal with it. Zach parked in the garage and helped Gathan and me carry our stuff up, even though we didn’t have much. I was polite, a good host, and showed Gathan where his room was, and gave him a tour of the condo.

“You guys hungry?” Gathan asked hopefully.

It was late, and I was done hanging out with him. “I’m tired,” I said. “But there’s a bunch of food in the kitchen.” Dad said he’d keep it stocked for us.

“Cool,” he said. I dragged Zach off to the bedroom, locked the door, and we all but ripped our clothes off as quickly as we could. Zach tackled me and pushed me back onto the bed, landing on top of me. He undulated his hips as he kissed me, letting my cock run up and down his crack. I knew what he wanted, and he had me so horned up, I was just as anxious to fuck him. I grabbed for the lube, but he reached into the drawer and pulled out a condom. He handed it to me. “I’m sorry.”

That meant that he’d had unsafe sex with someone, and it should have really pissed me off, but it didn’t. I finally got what Stef was saying. This was so much more important. He could have not said anything, and risked giving me whatever he may have picked up. And it had to be tempting to him, because he loved to bareback. But instead, he cared about me enough to worry about me, and to watch out for me. He’d put me ahead of himself, something I didn’t think he’d do. I slid the condom on, and the lube. “That’s a really nice thing to do,” I said, as I slid my dick inside him. He moaned, and then took charge, fucking my brains out while I just lay there. I came before he did, but managed to stay hard enough for him to get off too. Then he collapsed on me, panting, until he recovered enough to slide to the side so he was lying next to me.

“I thought you’d be pissed at me,” he said morosely.

I shook my head. “That’s the deal. You make a mistake, you tell me, and it’s cool.”

“That’s easy to say, and hard to do,” he said.

“Not really. I thought it would be, but it’s not. You have to really care about me to tell me, and risk pissing me off, just to protect me.”

“I do care about you,” he said, kind of angry that I sounded like that was some big revelation.

“I know,” I said, smiling at him. “And I care about you.”

“Good,” he said, smiling back at me. I was tempted to ask him what kind of unsafe sex he had, but I changed my mind. It was good enough that he told me that he had. “How was your flight?”

“Tense,” I said. I told him all about my discussion with Wade and Gathan.

“Sorry you had to put up with him,” he grumbled, referring to Gathan.

“It’s fine,” I said. “Besides, we were both pretty freaked out that Matt and Wade aren’t together.”

“Why? Sounds like Matt’s been treating Wade like shit for a long time now,” Zach said logically. “I mean, he can only put up with it for so long.”

I’d seen people put up with a lot of shit for a long time, so I wasn’t sure about that, but Wade was more together than most people, so it made sense. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’ve got a new plan for the rest of high school,” he said, changing the subject.

“You’re not going to stay here?” That surprised me, because he seemed to like Don Bosco.

“No,” he said. “I probably could, but I don’t want to. I’d have to move if I did, and the coach’s son is a running back, and he’s moving up to varsity next season.”

“You think he’d play him more than you?” I asked, surprised.

“Yep,” he said. I guess nepotism in sports was common.

“Wait a minute. Why do you have to move?” I asked, as if that finally registered in my brain. “Did you fuck Mrs. Piehl?”

He laughed. “No. They’ve both been really cool. Their daughter went away to college and bombed out, so she’s coming back here after she tries to save what she can of this semester.”

“And they don’t trust you, wolf that you are, with their daughter living in the house?” I joked.

“They didn’t say that, but I think that’s pretty much it,” he said. “They were all into trying to find someone else for me to stay with, but I told them not to worry about it.”

“So what’s this big plan?”

“I’m worried that you won’t like it,” he said nervously.

“Why won’t I like it?”

“I didn’t say you wouldn’t like it, I said I was worried you wouldn’t like it,” he said, stalling to fuck with me.

“Won’t know until you tell me,” I said.

“I’m transferring to De La Salle after this semester is over,” he said.

“De La Salle?” I asked, stunned. He nodded. “That’s in California.”

“Yeah,” he said nervously.

“That’s awesome! Why wouldn’t I like that idea? Saves me a shitload of time in airplanes.”

“I didn’t know if you’d want me to be that close, you know, like, in your world.”

I ran my hand across his chest, and flicked his nipple, getting a smile. “I want you close. If I had my choice, you’d be living at Escorial.”

He really grinned, and it frustrated me that he was so insecure about this. Usually he read me so well. That said more about how freaked out he was about this move than anything. “Maybe on the weekends.”

“De La Salle is in Concord, so that’s a real easy drive. And since you have a car, that shouldn’t be a big deal,” I told him.

“It’s an hour away,” he said. “I checked.”

“That is so kick-ass!” I said, and kissed him. “What if they give you a really shitty family to live with?”

“We’ve already got that figured out too,” he said.

“What, are you living with the coach?”

He shook his head. “Frank and Isidore are going to get a house in Walnut Creek, and stay there with me during the week.” He saw my expression, and got nervous. “You’re OK with that?”

“It’s not up to me; it’s up to you guys. It will be really weird not having them around, but I think it’s a great idea,” I said, working it through my brain.

“I was going to tell you about this on the phone, but I thought it would be better to have this conversation in person.”

“You seem freaked out about this,” I said. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want you around? Shit, I’ve spent twelve hours or so in a plane for the past few weekends just to come see you.”

“I know,” he said, and gave me a stupid grin to show me he realized he was being an idiot. “It’s just different, when I walk into your world, and start peeling people away from Escorial so they can come live with me instead.”

“I want you to walk into my world,” I said sincerely, and that got me a genuine grin. “You have this planned out, but I thought the drill was to try and drag you back to Claremont?”

“That’s not happening, and I’ve been pretty fucking clear about that,” Zach said firmly. “My parents aren’t real happy about this, but it’s hard to argue about it since Frank and Isidore are going to be keeping an eye on me.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be closer to me, and your parents don’t like me,” I said.

“It’s not that they don’t like you, it’s that they don’t like me when I’m with you.”

“I like you when you’re with me,” I flirted.

He chuckled. “They don’t like it because I’m actually thinking for myself, and making decisions for myself. And they’re pissed off because of what happened last weekend.”

“What are you talking about?” I knew about Frank and Wally arguing, but it sounded like there was more.

“My father was giving me a bunch of shit, and then after he and Frank got into an argument about it, he started in on me again, and I let him have it. I told him that he was full of shit, and that I played a great game, and that I was sick and tired of him criticizing me.” He swallowed hard. “I said some pretty nasty things about him and how he played. I think I got through, but I think I hurt his feelings pretty badly.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. That was obviously hard on Zach, but it had to be really hard on Wally.

He nodded. “He basically told me that I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, since I was a fucking ingrate.” A tear fell down his cheek, and I wiped it away, but there was another one after that.

“You’ll play tomorrow, and it will be your last game here, then we’ll fly back to Claremont, and you can make things better with them,” I said.

“Unless Gathan sabotages me. He likes to do that, to trash me to my father,” he said bitterly.

“Gathan and I are friends,” I asserted. “The only time I’ve seen him be a total asshole, and show bad judgment, was with you.”

“Yeah, but since we’re talking about me, that’s important,” Zach said, cracking me up.

“Maybe you can change his mind,” I said. He looked at me dubiously. “Miracles happen sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” he allowed.

November 22, 2001

Thanksgiving Day

Ramsey, NJ

I was sitting in the stands with Gathan, watching the game. I didn’t sit with the team, since Zach told me the coach was pretty annoyed with him for leaving. It was the second quarter, and the coach hadn’t put Zach in yet. I could tell by Zach’s expression that he was pissed off, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. The game was tied, at 7-7.

“He’s not playing at all,” Gathan said. “That would piss me off, if I had to sit on the bench for a whole period.”

“Zach said that the coach is pissed off that he’s leaving after this semester,” I explained. “I guess this is payback.”

“Well it sucks, especially since we came all the way out here to see him play,” he grumbled.

“That’s not why I’m here,” I joked. “Playing is just a bonus.” He rolled his eyes at me.

The Ironmen were at their own 32-yard line, and it was third down with eight yards to go to make the first down. I nudged Gathan and we looked at the field, where Zach went trotting on. “He’s in,” Gathan said.

“Damn, you’re smart,” I said sarcastically.

“Whatever,” he said, and then we watched the play. Zach didn’t always break free, and he didn’t always get results, but he usually did, especially when the team had their back against the wall. He did this time.

“Oh shit,” I heard some fans of the other team say. “That’s their star running back.”

A nice snap put the ball right in the hands of the quarterback, who made a lame ass fake and handed the ball to Zach. His favorite lineman, the dude he’d ripped up during the first game I’d gone to, plowed a hole for him, and he tore right up the middle. After about a five yard gain, a defender got his hands on Zach, but he spun agilely, escaping that guy’s grip, and then dodged the next defensive back as well. They didn’t tackle him until fifteen yards later. I was cheering like crazy, and so was Gathan.

The next play, the quarterback handed the ball to Zach again, only this time Zach ran to the left, and compared to all the other guys out there, he looked like a freak of nature. He was fast as hell, and he faked and dodged like no one else on either team. This time, he ran it all the way, putting six points on the board for the Ironmen.

I looked over at Gathan who sat there with his mouth open, in total shock at how amazing Zach was. “Dude, he kicked ass!” I said, and high fived him.

“I didn’t know he was so fucking good,” Gathan said. “Christ!”

“Yep.” Zach made a bunch of short runs, and one more big play, racking up 115 yards in his last game at Don Bosco. The Ironmen had had an amazing season, and so had Zach Hayes.

Gathan was kind of like a zombie, spacing out and shit, as we walked down to wait outside the locker room for Zach. When he was like that, I knew it was because he was deep in thought. I left him alone, and called Frank to tell him about the game. He asked me a bunch of questions that I had no clue how to answer, about how Zach ran, or faked, or whatever, but he was pretty happy that they won.

Zach came walking out of the locker room, but before he got to us, some girl intercepted him. “You were awesome!” she squealed, and wrapped her arms around him, then gave him a big kiss.

“Thanks,” he said nervously, since Gathan and I were watching him. I knew this was the deal, that he’d be going out with other people, but it was pretty tough to have it thrown in my face.

“Will I see you later? There’s a big party!” she said, bouncing up and down like she had to pee really badly.

“Nope. I’m heading back to Ohio,” he said. “I’ll catch up with you next week.” He gave her another kiss, then disengaged from her and walked over toward us. He gave me an apologetic look, and I’d be lying if I said the whole encounter hadn’t taken some of the enthusiasm out of this win, but I put on my happy face. I was determined not to be a buzz-kill, though, so I forced myself to be cheerful.

“Amazing game!” I said, and fist-bumped him.

And then Gathan all but pushed me aside, and gave Zach a massive hug, freaking Zach out, and surprising the shit out of me. “Dude, you were in-fucking-credible,” Gathan gushed. “I had no idea you played that well.”

“Thanks,” Zach said, even as a huge grin spread across his face.

“I can’t believe I didn’t come see you play more when I had the chance. That was amazing!”

“Looks like I’ll be in California next year, so you can come see me then,” Zach said. He led us away, pausing to wink at me.

“Maybe we can trade a football game for a hockey game,” Gathan proposed, suggesting that he’d watch Zach play if Zach came to see them.

“Maybe,” Zach said. “The plane waiting for us?”

“It is,” I confirmed.

“Then let’s go home,” he said confidently. Gathan and I flanked him, all of us high on the rush of a victory, as we headed for the Durango, and caught the plane to Claremont. And this time, Zach didn’t bother to call Wally and talk to him about the game.