9.11 - 48. Chapter 48

September 22, 2001

Georgetown

Today had been grueling, with the procession through DC that ultimately ended at the Capitol. There we’d had a service for my father, along with speeches from the President, and comments from several senators and congressmen who praised him for the work he’d done, and for his selfless devotion to public service. And of course there was the standard vitriol against Al Qaeda, and much patriotic preaching. My father had lain there in honor for the rest of the day, and he’d stay there tonight, then tomorrow we’d continue the ordeal and finally bury him. I’d monitored the reports on the flow of visitors to see his casket, and there were quite a few people who had taken the time to pay their respects. It would be possible to assume many of them were Virginians paying tribute to their senator, but I didn’t think that factored into it all that much. I think it was just people who were trying to get some sort of closure to this horrible thing, and he was a prominent and easy victim to latch onto. We’d all held together pretty well, and I was so thankful that I had Matt with me. I remembered to cut Mary Ellen some slack for that, even though she’d only done it to annoy everyone else.

Looking down on Gerald Ford's casket in the Capitol Rotunda.

So with the ceremonies over for the day, JP had set up a dinner and reception for friends and family at the Four Seasons Hotel in Georgetown. We’d left the politicians and doyennes of DC behind, with the exception of my mother, and headed down to the ballroom to enjoy a nice dinner. Matt and I, along with Mary Ellen, Trevor, Beau, and my mother strolled casually into the ballroom, but when I walked into the room and looked around, I was just blown away. I knew that JP, Stef, Brad, Will, JJ, Darius, and Tiffany would be here. I also knew that Matt’s parents, Edward and Amanda Carrswold, were going to attend. I wasn’t surprised to see Cody, who’d stuck around after Jeanine and Hank’s memorial, and I scanned the crowd to see the normal group of family and friends such an occasion may warrant. But then there were the people who I was pleasantly shocked to see, people who had made the trek to be here to support Matt and me. We broke off into groups and made the rounds of the tables.

Most of the people that were here for us were tied to our hockey team, and they’d managed to congregate at one table. Gathan Hayes was here with his on-and-off girlfriend, Kristen Hendrickson, who was sitting next to Konrad, a fellow senior on the hockey team, and a real ladies’ man. Kramer, another senior, who with his almost-white blond hair looked a little psychotic, sat next to him. Cole Weber, still big and beefy, was here with his girlfriend, Allison, which was no surprise, since they did everything together. Chris ‘Klip’ Kilpatrick sat on the other side of Gathan, and he had certainly attracted Mary Ellen’s attention. He was so handsome it was scary. But the coolest thing of all was the three other guys at the table: Turner, who’d been the team captain when we were freshmen, was here with his two sidekicks, LeBrand and Gillespie. I gave them big hugs, and had to try to avoid tearing up at having these guys support us.

“Thank you so much for coming here,” I said emphatically.

“No big deal, eh,” Gillespie said with his Canadian drawl.

“We got your back,” Turner said, winking at me.

“You always have,” I said, remembering how they’d supported Matt and me when I’d come out of the closet. The three of them had actually shown up at the paper when I was doing the interview to tell the world they were with us.

I walked up to my seat, but didn’t sit down; I just stood there to get everyone’s attention. It took a few minutes, but I was in no hurry, and I didn’t want to be rude.

“I’d like to thank Dr. Crampton for hosting this dinner for us, to give us a chance to spend some time together out of the limelight. These have been the most trying days I think most of us have ever experienced, but walking into this room, and seeing all of you here, and knowing that we have your support, I am confident that we’ll be able to get through this. Thank you. Thank you so much.” I wasn’t normally that effusive, and the good part of that was it had a greater effect, in that these people knew I was sincere.

“It is my pleasure to help arrange this, but you are hosting it,” JP said, smiling.

“I’m learning that some good can come from adversity. The country seems to be uniting behind the tragedy that took my father’s life, and I’m hoping that we can learn from that in how we treat each other. The signs are positive. I’ve actually had a good time with Mary Ellen,” I said, gesturing to her. Everyone laughed.

“Now Wade, I may be a bitch, but I’m usually fun.” More laughter.

“And Mother and I have even been able to remain civil,” I said, smiling at her.

“Barely,” she growled, a fake growl, getting more laughter.

Things calmed down, and I got more serious. “Since we learned of my father’s death, and of the deaths of other family members important to us, I’ve had a hard time enjoying myself, and letting myself laugh. When I do, I feel guilty, as if I’m betraying him and his memory.” I watched that impact our family pretty hard, because we all felt that way. “But you know, that’s really nonsense. If my father were here, he would have enjoyed this time, and he would have wanted us to enjoy it as well. He would have appreciated all that is being done for him, all the pomp and circumstance, but it was times like this, when he could relax and laugh with the people he loved, that he was at his happiest. Tomorrow we have a full program of events. For tonight, though, I would like us all to try to put aside the horrible trauma that has brought us together and just enjoy ourselves. Let us have fun to honor Senator Jeff Danfield. It is what he would have wanted.”

“Hear hear!” Beau said. “To Daddy!” He raised his glass. Everyone toasted my father.

“Now if you are feeling kind of down, and aren’t sure how to have a good time, I recommend you just do what Mary Ellen, Matt, and Trevor do,” I said, giving the three of them a bad time.

“Have sex?” Matt asked, getting riotous laughter from everyone.

“Later,” I said, and winked at him. Everyone laughed at that, because it was so out of character for me. I sat down and had a nice dinner, even though the table with our hockey friends looked like more fun. After we’d eaten, and everyone had drunk way too much already, the older crowd vanished, leaving pretty much everyone under 25 there to party on.

I was having a blast, and was pretty fucked up. I wandered off to the rest room and all but staggered up to the urinals, only afterward noticing that Turner was there peeing. “You’re obliterated,” he said.

I laughed. “Duh.” We stood there peeing, and I couldn’t help glancing sideways at him, and at his cock, which looked like it might be getting a little bigger. “You know, there’s one thing Matt got to do that I’ve always been really jealous of.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“He got to blow you,” I said.

“So you think you deserve a turn?” he asked, flirting.

“I’m willing to earn it,” I said. I all but grabbed him and dragged him into the stall and locked the door behind us. This was a nice rest room, with stalls that were more like small rooms. I knelt in front of him and absorbed his cock in my mouth, massaging it with my cheeks and tongue without actually bobbing up and down, in what I decided was my signature sexual move. That made me chuckle to myself, and Turner liked the vibration of my laugh on his cock.

“That’s right, Wade,” he said softly. He gripped my head between his two strong hands and began to gently fuck my face, and it was fucking awesome. It reminded me of blowing Trevor, because both of these guys knew just how deep to go without choking me, and both of them really got into getting their dicks sucked. My hands grabbed his ass, and his massive thighs, and then he spread his legs a bit to let me play with his hole. I used the tip of my finger to play with it, and he really got into that. It seemed like in no time at all, I felt his body stiffen, heard him growl in a muted moan, and tasted his salty essence as it exploded into my mouth.

He let his hands go, but I kept his dick in my mouth, sucking every last drop out of it, then I pulled off, licked my lips, and smiled up at him. He smiled and shook his head, then ran his fingers lovingly through my hair. “That was awesome,” he pronounced.

“Thanks,” I said, and knew I was blushing.

“This is OK, right?” he asked, worried that he’d mess up my relationship with Matt.

“This is very alright,” I said. “You know, you might really enjoy having two guys blow you at the same time.”

“I might have to try that sometime,” he said. He pulled up his pants; we got our appearances back in order, and then returned to the party.

I saw Mary Ellen as I was walking into the ballroom and she was leaving, and we smiled at each other. “Got a minute?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said, and followed her over to a small sitting area with two chairs.

“I found out about you and Daddy,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, immediately on guard.

“I heard what he did to you, how he molested you,” she said. She stared into my eyes, and I knew there was no point in denying it. “I’m sorry.”

“We both worked really hard to move beyond that,” I said quietly.

“And you did. You did it. In the end, Daddy loved you best,” she said.

“He said he always did, that’s why he fucked me,” I said bitterly.

“Good thing I’m not as lovable as you,” she said, and actually made me chuckle. “You know me. You know I’m not a person who it’s safe to trust, and turn your back on.” She paused, as if waiting for me to say something, but I agreed with her, although saying so would have seemed rude. “I will promise you, make a solemn pledge to you that I will never tell anyone about that.”

I stared at her, so amazed I knew my mouth must have fallen open. As I’d reeled from her raising this issue, I’d felt the fear of her talking about this, her revealing this, or of her using this to somehow blackmail me, lurking in the back of my mind. She’d largely erased all those latent worries. “Thank you,” I said sincerely.

“Seems to me that when I was lying in that hospital bed, trying to chase Jason Haupt out of Virginia, you offered me a deal, a truce,” she said.

“I did. All I really wanted was to be able to turn my back on you so I didn’t have to worry about you getting involved in one of Mother’s schemes,” I said. “You don’t have to be on my side, and you don’t have to be my big supporter. I just wanted you to be neutral.”

“It’s a deal,” she said, and held out her hand, even as she stood up.

I stood up with her and shook her hand. “It’s a deal,” I confirmed. Then I brushed her hand aside and gave her a hug, a genuine hug, probably the first one we’d ever shared.

September 23, 2001

Washington, DC

We sat in the National Cathedral, waiting for the service to begin. “You had fun last night,” Matt said softly in my ear. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me from what was going on in front of me, that I was sitting here in this massive church to say goodbye to my father.

“Too much fun,” I said. “I have the headache to prove it.”

“I thought you’d get back to our hotel, get back to our room, and just pass out,” he said. His lips grazed my earlobe, sending shockwaves through my body. “You didn’t. You were a wild man.”

“Knock it off,” I said, but gave him a slight smile, especially when I remembered how great sex had been with him last night. Blowing Turner had really fired me up, evidently.

We’d started our morning program at the Capitol for the rest of the ceremony, which involved bringing my father’s body up here to the National Cathedral for yet more speeches, more praying and more singing. There were well over a thousand people in attendance, a really touching outpouring for my father. The Governor of Virginia spoke this time, lauding my father for his service to the state. Matt’s attempts to lift up my spirits and strengthen me worked. We sat in our pew, looking stoic but somber. It had been so emotionally draining that my mother and Aunt Emeline hadn’t even traded many barbs, and even Mary Ellen had been on her best behavior.

I listened to the choir belt out another hymn. In a few minutes this would be over, and then there would only be a few more obligations to deal with before Matt and I could get on a plane for Palo Alto. Classes for the quarter would begin tomorrow, and as this was my senior year, I was determined to start off on the right foot by being there. Matt had argued with me that our professors would understand, but I didn’t want them to understand; I didn’t want their sympathy. I just wanted to bury myself in my schoolwork and hockey, and pretend that this horrible thing had never happened.

The service finished, and they took the body out to the hearse, accompanied by the pallbearers, all fellow senators. I followed on cue, just as we’d been coached, and led the mourning party out to the waiting limos. I climbed in first, followed by Matt, who sat across from me. Mary Ellen sat next to me, with Trevor across from her, but my mother characteristically made Beau sit across from her, facing backward.

“That was a really nice service,” Trevor said with his sexy drawl.

“Yes it was,” I agreed.

“It would have been nice if Riley had been here,” my mother said.

“It would have, but he has a cold, and it could have damaged his ears if he’d have had to fly,” I said factually. She said nothing in response.

“So we go to Arlington, then we’re done?” Mary Ellen asked, sounding pretty irreverent. Beau scowled at her slightly. She’d been as hung over as I was, so I understood how she felt.

“No, we go to Arlington, then we go back to the Compound to meet with Dad’s lawyers,” I corrected.

“Do we have to do that today?” she whined.

“I fly out as soon as that’s done so yes, we have to do that today,” I said, but made it sound playful rather than bitchy.

“It’s all about you,” she said, giving me crap.

“Duh,” I responded. My mother said nothing, because she already knew we were meeting with lawyers.

“Why do the lawyers want to meet with us?” Beau asked.

“They wouldn’t disclose that,” Mother said. I wondered if she knew and she wasn’t telling us, or if she was as clueless as the rest of us.

“Daddy must have a surprise for us,” Mary Ellen said, making me smile. It was really weird, and not a little disturbing, that I had really enjoyed having her around these past few days. She kept things light, and she bugged the shit out of my mother. After our conversation last night, after our détente, I enjoyed her even more. There was one thing that rankled me about all that. I kept trying to figure out who had told her about my father and me.

“We will see,” Mother said in her frosty tone. The procession pulled up to the burial site. I’d done so well during the funeral, through the whole process, but now that we were facing this moment of finality, I found that I couldn’t stop the tears. Now it was in front of me, it was so very real, and not even Matt’s reassuring presence and comments could steady me. I surreptitiously wiped my eyes with a Kleenex, but that just made it more noticeable. As if to make things worse, that seemed to spark the waterworks from Beau and even Mary Ellen. We stood by the grave, tears running down our cheeks with dour expressions on our faces, as they said some final prayers, and lowered the coffin into the ground. I stared at the gleaming vessel that would store my father’s body into eternity, and realized that this was it. This was where he and I would say goodbye, forever. I was always so strong, and so reliable, but I felt all of those controls slipping away from me. I felt myself descending into an emotional abyss, where I would end up sobbing.

I felt a hand gently grab my arm. “Come on, Wade,” Mary Ellen said. And with those three words, she’d pulled me out of my tailspin. I gave her a brief nod of thanks, then turned and walked away from my father. With each step, I forced myself to get stronger, so by the time we reached the limo, I had recovered from being a basket case.

We sat in the car just as we had before, only this time, no one said anything. We rode along in silence to the Compound, my mother’s domain. She’d acquired it in the divorce, and I’d only agreed to meet here because it was convenient to the cemetery, and the airport. I felt like I was walking into the enemy camp. The limo whisked through the gates, and pulled up to the familiar portico. God, how I hated this house. We got out and walked into the foyer, with its double curved staircases.

“I thought we would meet in the dining room,” Mother said. Now she was being nicer, since she was the hostess, but none of us took that as a sign to lower our guard. “It seems the attorneys are already here,” she said as she led us into that room. “Welcome gentlemen.” There were three lawyers in the room, and I knew two of them.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” one of the attorneys said, the one I didn’t know.

“Thank you Simon,” she said. “This is Simon Bamburg, my attorney,” she said, introducing him. “I hope you don’t mind that I asked him to attend.”

“It’s a little late if we did,” I said, but with a smile. “Nice to meet you Mr. Bamburg,” I said to him, throwing out my charm, as I shook his hand. “This is my attorney, Sean Massey.”

“I’ve seen your name on legal documents,” my mother said to him, trying not to sound cold. Sean had masterminded eliminating her from control of most of my money last year. She’d never forgive him, or me, for that.

“I suspect you have,” he said pleasantly, but he was trying to annoy her, and it worked.

“I guess it makes sense that a young man would have a young attorney,” Bamburg said with barely concealed disdain. Sean was in his late 20s, and very handsome. Bamburg was in his late 50s, and not handsome at all.

“In my experience, age and competence are not related,” the other attorney said. “I’m Arthur Cabot,” he said, and introduced himself to Matt. He knew the rest of us. He was my father’s attorney.

“I agree completely,” I said. “Sean’s shown us all how finely honed his legal skills are.” I said those words directly to my mother, and saw her eyes twitch in annoyance.

“Fine is the word,” Mary Ellen said, blatantly lusting at Sean. My mother gave her an evil look, while I tried not to chuckle. Matt wasn’t as good as I was at controlling his emotions, and he let out a snaugh, which saddened me because it reminded me of Robbie.

“Well Arthur, you certainly have been mysterious about all of this,” my mother said. “Perhaps you will tell us what’s going on?”

“Are you comfortable with having Matt and Trevor here as well?” Arthur asked me.

“I am,” I said. Trevor was family, and Matt was my partner.

“And it is Wade’s decision?” my mother asked.

“Senator Danfield was explicit in directing me to consult with Wade about such matters,” Arthur replied.

“Do you have written instructions to that effect?” Bamburg asked.

“I can leave,” Matt offered.

“Look, I don’t have all day to debate every single fucking point of protocol,” Mary Ellen said, finally losing it. “Matt and Trevor can stay. Now let’s get on with it.” I smiled and nodded to Arthur.

“Senator Danfield left an estate consisting of Goodwell, along with approximately twenty million in assets. There is a life insurance policy in an irrevocable trust, which will cover most of the estate taxes, so our initial calculations show a gross estate, without Goodwell, and having removed all of the Senator’s final expenses and charitable bequests, of sixteen million. There was some concern that the life insurance company would not pay the death benefit, since the policy does not cover acts of war, but they have been persuaded that such a course of action is unwise,” Arthur said.

“Thank you for being persuasive,” I said with a smile. He smiled back, and then continued.

“After the divorce was final, Senator Danfield made several changes to his estate plan,” Arthur continued.

“He didn’t waste any time,” Mother noted acidly, then seemed surprised that she’d actually said that out loud.

“That’s probably not good news for you,” Mary Ellen said, giving her crap. She was probably enjoying seeing our mother squirm as much as I was.

Arthur continued. “Goodwell is to be held in trust for Mr. Riley Danfield. That trust, and the property, will remain under the control of Wade Danfield until Wade dies. If Wade dies before Riley is thirty years old, management of that trust falls to Mr. Beau Danfield. If Riley is at least thirty years old at Wade’s death, he will take control of the trust himself.”

“So you get Goodwell,” Mary Ellen noted, although without malice.

“Actually, it sounds like Riley gets it,” I said. “I’m guessing it was set up that way to avoid estate taxes when I die.”

“That was the primary intention,” Arthur said. “There is a caveat in the trust that requests that you allow your siblings to have reasonable access to the property.”

“So it is a request, not a requirement,” my mother said, trying to stir up trouble between Mary Ellen, Beau, and me.

Arthur took off his glasses and looked at her directly. “He was confident that Wade would adhere to his wishes.”

“And I will,” I pledged. Goodwell was part of our heritage. It was inconceivable that I would keep Mary Ellen and Beau from being there. None of that seemed to bother them anyway. It dawned on me that they trusted me to be fair, and that was really flattering.

“Does that access extend to Mrs. Danfield?” Bamburg asked.

“It does not,” Arthur said. “Senator Danfield felt that he and Mrs. Danfield had fairly and adequately divided up their assets during the divorce, and did not feel the need to make provisions for Mrs. Danfield.”

“We may have to test the veracity of these trusts and documents you have drafted, Arthur,” Mother said coldly, in what was clearly a threat. Only Arthur wasn’t all that afraid of her, so he shrugged it off.

“We stand by our work,” he said. “The remaining assets are to be divided as follows. Three-eighths, or approximately six million, will each be paid to Ms. Mary Ellen Danfield and Mr. Beau Danfield. Senator Danfield was explicit in stating that the money not be held in trust, but be made available to each of you, since you are both legally adults.”

“It’s not being held in trust?” my mother asked, stunned. I wanted to laugh my ass off at her, since this would seriously reduce her ability to control Mary Ellen and Beau. In the past, she’d doled money out of our trusts to us like a miser. If we did what she said, she was more generous. If we didn’t, the income from our trusts was significantly reduced.

“Senator Danfield felt that his children were mature enough and responsible enough to handle the funds without external oversight,” Arthur noted.

“I agree,” Mary Ellen said.

“So do I,” I said, chiming in. “Dad had a lot of confidence in you two.” That last sentence was directed at Mary Ellen and Beau. They gave me appreciative looks.

“That leaves four million,” Mother said. “What happens to that money?”

“He already told you Daddy didn’t leave it to you,” Mary Ellen said, making my mother look like a pathetic money-grubber. I saw Matt hiding a smirk.

“I wasn’t asking for myself,” she snapped.

“The remaining one-fourth, which we estimate to be worth four million, is to be held in trust for the senator’s illegitimate son: Mr. Ethan Danfield Fletcher,” Arthur said. We all sat there speechless for a bit, then I pulled myself together enough to glance around the table. If their expressions were real, none of them knew about Ethan.

“Did you know about him?” Beau asked Mother.

“I did not,” she said. She was so angry, I was wondering if she would explode, but only Beau, Mary Ellen and I probably picked up on that. I watched her more closely, and couldn’t figure out if she really didn’t know, or if this was just an act. Mother was acting clueless, but how could my father have hidden an illegitimate son from her?

“What do you know about him?” I asked. “How old is he?”

“Ethan is fifteen years old, and is currently enrolled in a private school,” Arthur said. “He was raised by his mother until he was seven, and has attended boarding schools since then.”

“Where did he grow up?” I asked.

“I’m not familiar with all the details,” Arthur said, evading my question. Sean was about to call him on it, but a look from me stopped him. There was something about Ethan that Arthur didn’t want to talk about, at least not with everyone here.

“Can we meet him?” I asked.

“You want to?” Mary Ellen asked, like I was crazy.

“He’s our half-brother,” I affirmed. I was seriously annoyed that I didn’t know about him until now, but I hid that. I could tell that neither Beau nor Mary Ellen really wanted anything to do with him. My mother was clearly unwilling to even acknowledge him.

“Is he the only illegitimate child Jeff had?” Mother asked snidely.

“Yes,” Arthur said, although there was really no way for him to be sure about that. “Do you want me to make arrangements for you to meet him?” he asked the table in general. I’d already made my intention clear, so I waited.

“Not right now,” Beau said.

“Maybe later,” Mary Ellen agreed, making it sound like it was just too traumatic of a time for her to handle meeting him.

“Yes,” I said.

“Who is the trustee of Ethan’s trust?” my mother asked. Matt hid his smirk again.

“Senator Danfield asked Wade to serve in that capacity,” Arthur said, then focused on me. “If you are willing.”

“I’ll have to meet him first, and then I’ll decide,” I said, knowing I’d do it even if I didn’t like the kid. Arthur nodded and gathered up his papers, indicating that the discussion, as far as he was concerned, was over.

“I’ll need to look at all these documents to see if this is as you say it is,” Bamburg said.

“In what capacity are you requesting that information?” Arthur asked.

“I think we can leave you gentlemen to argue about that,” I said, shutting them down. “I have a plane to catch.”

“Well this has been very interesting,” Mary Ellen said. “I have to go as well.”

“Are you going to Georgetown?” Beau asked.

“I am,” she said.

“We can take you with us, if you need a ride,” Trevor offered.

“Thanks,” Beau agreed. They got up and said goodbye to my mother and the lawyers, then I walked them out.

“You certainly came out well in that deal,” Mary Ellen said sharply.

“You didn’t want a big house anyway,” I teased. “You’d rather have the cash.”

“You’re probably right,” she said. She grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the others. “Look, I know you hate me, but I want you to know that you handled things really well. There’s a reason Daddy left things mostly in your care, and there’s a reason that Beau and I are just fine with that.”

“I don’t hate you, but thank you,” I said, barely hiding how stunned I was. “And thanks for helping me out at the gravesite.”

“I’m not always a bitch,” she joked.

“Just most of the time,” I teased, making her laugh.

“I haven’t forgotten our talk last night, and our truce,” she said, reaffirming that in the sober light of the next day.

“Neither have I,” I said. I hugged her in a somewhat stunted way, and then I hugged Beau, then finally Trevor, who grabbed my ass playfully as he did. I chuckled as they got into the car, and I watched it drive off.

I got back to the dining room to find Arthur and Bamburg arguing, while Matt and Sean stood off to one side, and my mother stood off to the other. “I’m sorry to have to leave you all so quickly, but we have to get back.” I had no energy for these kinds of arguments.

“I’ll forward details on Ethan to you,” Arthur said.

“You can call me, or Sean, if you need me,” I said firmly, my way of telling my mother and Bamburg that I was in Arthur’s corner. Matt, Sean, and I said perfunctory goodbyes to them, and went out to find our own car waiting. We didn’t really talk about anything, we just rode along quietly. I gazed out the window as we passed the cemetery and said a silent goodbye to my father. We’d been through hell, and had worked so hard to get back to a good place, only he was gone before we could really enjoy it. Or maybe the peace that he got from just being at that place was good enough for him. I wondered if it would be good enough for me.