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9.11 - 22. Chapter 22
July 24, 2001
We hauled our tired asses out of the water at 3:00pm because I’d promised Stef I’d spend time with him going over decorating plans. Dad, Kai, and I had started out at 8:00am, just like yesterday, but we’d taken a quick lunch break around noon. Today the waves were bigger, and we’d pushed ourselves harder, so I was pretty worn out.
“You did really well,” Kai said to my dad. Kai was right, he did, but there was a price to pay for that, in that he was almost too competitive, and pushed himself too hard. That’s another reason why we were all so tired.
“Thanks, but I think that you’re the one with the talent,” Dad said to Kai. He gave Kai a look that contained respect, and capped it off with his smile, an expression that was really compelling. When my dad talked to guys like this, I could see why they’d find him so sexy and attractive.
“He’s the second-best surfer in the family,” I said, giving him shit.
“Sometimes second place isn’t so bad,” he said as he put his arm around me affectionately. We got back to the house and let my dad shower first. Kai and I decided to relax in the swimming pool, but ended up migrating to the hot tub.
“Your dad really is a good surfer,” he said.
“He is,” I agreed. “I started surfing with him when I was a little kid, pretty much because he did. It’s his big hobby, and it was a good way for me to spend time with him. Good thing I liked it.”
“Good thing,” he agreed, chuckling.
“He isn’t real patient when he’s teaching someone how to surf, but he was with me,” I told him. “I’m pretty much the same way.”
“Really?” He seemed genuinely surprised by that. “I like working with new surfers. Not all the time, but it can be fun, especially when they actually have talent.”
“Maybe I’m just a selfish prick,” I joked, even though it was probably true.
“Pretty much,” he agreed, giving me shit. “You and your dad seem really tight.”
“He and I have had some pretty hellacious fights in the past year or so, but we worked it out, so yeah, we’re tight,” I told him. I looked out at the ocean. “That’s made surfing even more important to me, because it’s something we share, a bond between us.”
“Is that why you bought this house?” he asked.
At first I was going to blow him off and tell him he was wrong, but then I thought about what he said. “I had all these reasons why this place was a good deal, and we should buy it. I never thought about that, but you may be right. It’s at least one of them.”
“Your dad seems like the kind of dude who, when he’s in your corner, you can conquer the world, but when he’s not, you’re fucked,” Kai noted sagely.
“That’s a good way to put it,” I said. “That’s why all I had to do was mention him to Scott to save your virgin ass.”
He chuckled. “You and your dad are about the only two dudes I’ve seen who can calm his ass down.”
“There’s another,” I said, thinking of Jeff, who was Scott’s biological son. “Jeff Grimes is his name. Maybe you’ll get to meet him when he comes over to visit.”
“Is he the dude you were with, the ex?” It was cute to see that he was jealous about that. I shook my head.
“You ever have a dude you really love, and you fuck around with him, but in the end, you’re just friends, and you’re both good with that?” I asked.
He nodded. “Keenan. We’re like that.”
“That’s how Jeff and I are,” I told him.
“Is that how we are?” he asked. He’d meant it to be a joke, but his question caught me off guard, and he studied me as I thought about it.
“I don’t really know you all that well,” I said honestly. “I mean, we just met, and started hanging out. So I don’t know if you fit into that or not.”
“You kind of struck me as a dude who could get to know another guy pretty quickly,” he joked, calling me a slut.
“Last summer I went through some pretty intense shit, and a lot of that was me learning to separate sex and love,” I said. “Before, I’d meet a dude, blow him, and think we were going to move off together and raise adopted babies.”
He laughed at that. “But you don’t think that anymore?”
I shook my head. “There’s sex, just to get off, and that’s fun. Then there’s sex with someone you love, and that’s un-fucking-believable.”
“I can see that,” he said.
“What about you?” He looked uncomfortable, and was about to try and answer me, but Dad walked out, dressed pretty nicely, all ready to go.
“Guess we’re up,” he said, referring to the shower. “You want me to go first, or do you want to?” He was probably nervous about us showering together with my dad here.
“You go ahead,” I said. He hopped out of the hot tub, said ‘hi’ to my dad, and headed into the house.
“I’m all finished,” Dad said. “It will be nice to have more bathrooms.”
“Stef’s going to tell me all about that tonight,” I joked. “I think I’ll see if Kai wants company.”
Dad smiled. “I like him.”
“Me too,” I said, smiling and blushing. I got out of the water and grabbed a towel, then wrapped it around my waist as I walked into the house.
Kai was in the shower, and looked a little alarmed when I joined him. “Is this OK?” I asked.
“Dude, your dad is here,” he said.
I laughed. “So. He won’t care.” I dropped down to my knees and enveloped his cock with my mouth, and then started working his ass with my fingers, just like I’d done yesterday. God, he was fun to blow. It was like he was dancing, with these rhythmic thrusts that were so erotic. I started to fantasize about how good those thrusts would feel if he were fucking me, and that really fired me up. I used my left hand to hold my cock against his leg, rubbing it against his calf, and I was so sensitive, I could feel his leg hairs rubbing against it. The whole thing was sensory overload: the feel of his ass squirming against my fingers, his cock driving into my mouth, and my dick rubbing against his skin. I felt myself hit the point of no return, but said nothing; I just jammed his dick down my throat to drown out my screams as I blasted my load all over his legs and the shower floor. His moan was more of a scream, a primal shout, as he shot his wad down my throat.
“Dude, he probably heard that. I’m sorry,” Kai said as we came down from our orgasms.
“He probably did,” I said, and kissed him. “He’ll think it was hot.” He chuckled at that. We finished up and got dressed, then joined Dad outside. I saw he was down at the gazebo, so I grabbed some bottles of water for us then went down to watch the other surfers who were lucky enough to still be in the water. I could tell Dad was dying to give us both shit about Kai’s shower screams, but he didn’t do that. He’d wait until later, when it was just the two of us. We sat there drinking water, making fun of the other surfers, until Stef showed up.
“I thought I would find you out here,” Stef said. There was another man with him, a dude who was probably in his late twenties. “This is Malcolm Glaser. I wanted you to meet him, as I think he would do a good job of coordinating the renovations here.”
“I’m Will,” I said.
“Nice to meet you,” he said. He had a firm handshake, a handsome face, and light brown hair with blond highlights, that was styled a little more intensely than you normally saw on this laid-back island. His brown eyes were alert and engaging, and his body looked thin and lithe, with almost no muscle tone at all. All those features made him pretty attractive, but the thing that really made him sexy was his voice. It was deep and melodic, and he had a distinct accent.
“Where are you from?” I asked. “I’m trying to place your accent.” It had a unique flavor, one that was a little British, a little German or Dutch, but very smooth.
He smiled a little bigger, turning up the charm. “South Africa. Jo-Berg.” I knew he meant Johannesburg when he said that, but I wasn’t sure if Kai did. Kai didn’t really seem to be paying that much attention to Malcolm, but I think that was because he was a little jealous. I introduced them, and then we followed Stef and Malcolm back into the house.
“While I plan to provide as much guidance as I can,” Stef told Malcolm, “this is Will’s house, and he has the final word.” I thought that was a really cool thing for him to do, but it was probably pretty painless for him to say that. It was rare that I didn’t defer to Stef in matters of taste, especially over clothing or décor. The only times I did were when he went a little overboard, or got a little too flashy.
“What kind of flooring do you want?” Malcolm asked me.
I instinctively looked at Stef for help, but he said nothing, letting me think about it. “What are my options?” I asked.
“Well, we can do carpeting, wood, or some sort of tile. If we do tile, we can either do ceramic or stone,” Malcolm said. “Normally we don’t start with floors, but on the island, it tends to be an issue.”
“Why?”
“Because a lot of people don’t like carpeting, especially near the beach. Sand and salt water aren’t usually the best for fibers,” he said.
“I’m not a big carpet guy,” I said. “I could go with wood, or tile.”
“I’ve got some ideas for you,” he said, and pulled out a big case full of tile and wood samples. My stomach growled, and he smiled. “You want to look at these over dinner?”
“Sure,” I said. I noticed that it was already 5:15. I looked at Kai with an apology. “You have to go, and we didn’t eat.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said, and shook hands with everyone, then left. Stef had a limousine driving him around, so we took that and went out to dinner.
Of course we went to a really fancy restaurant, but since this was Maui, we didn’t have to dress up. I almost laughed when I thought about how if we were eating at a place like this in the City, I’d have to wear a suit. Malcolm brought his case of flooring with him and started working his way through the samples.
“I like this one,” I said, picking out one that was several different shades of gold.
“That’s travertine,” Malcolm said. “It’s a form of marble.” He went on a long discussion about how it needed to be maintained. “So would you prefer tile instead of wood?”
“I like wood too,” I said, winking at him. Stef giggled, Malcolm blushed, and my dad looked annoyed.
They showed me choices for cabinets for the kitchen, and I picked a dark, reddish wood. “That’s cherry.”
“It is very dark,” Stef observed, with mild disapproval.
I shrugged. “You asked me what I liked, and I told you. I’m flexible.”
“It’s very masculine,” Malcolm said. Just the way he said that sounded really sexy.
“I like masculine,” I said, and leered at him. He actually blushed harder, while my dad gave me another disapproving look. Malcolm took that as his cue to get out paint samples.
“What about this color for the entry hall?” Stef asked. It had a bit more orange than I would have liked, and was a little bright.
“That’s liable to shock anyone walking in,” Dad said, shaking his head. Stef gave him a dirty look.
“Yes, but it’s an excellent shade,” Malcolm said. “If we muted it just a little bit, it could really work well.” Stef smiled at Malcolm to thank him for validating his choice, while Dad still looked skeptical.
“Well, let us see what you can come up with,” Stef said, after we talked about paint colors for a while. “I can come back this weekend and see the plans, and then we can try to make this house inhabitable.” We climbed back in the limo for the brief ride home.
“Are you staying over tonight?” I asked them.
“I figured we could surf in the morning, and then I could head back home after lunch,” Dad said, but looked sad about leaving.
“And I will stay in Kapalua, get some work done in the morning, and then join you for lunch. We can leave after that,” Stef validated.
“Sounds good to me,” I said. I was stoked to spend another morning surfing with Dad.
“I think I will leave you two to enjoy your evening, while I torture Malcolm on the way back to Kapalua,” he said.
“It was nice to meet you,” I said to Malcolm.
“It was nice to meet you too,” he said. “Would it be alright for me to stop by tomorrow evening and do some more measurements?”
“Let’s do dinner,” I offered. Kai would be busy doing whatever the fuck he did anyway. “I’ll buy. Be here at six.”
“Sounds good,” he said. He shook my hand, holding it just a little longer than normal, then he and Stef headed back to Kapalua.
Dad and I went out to the gazebo and sat there, enjoying the surf. I lit a joint and passed it to him with a smile. We smoked, letting the pot take our minds to a relaxed, slightly hazy place, before we spoke. “It is so beautiful here,” he said, breaking the silence.
“It is,” I agreed. “You know, when I’m here, I feel so calm. I’m trying to think of something to piss me off, and I can’t.”
He laughed a lot at that. “I need to be here a little longer. I can still get pissed off.”
“How’s Pop?” I asked, ironically enough.
“He’s doing fine,” he said. “I probably would stick around a bit longer, but I need to get home and show him I’m not mad at him.”
“He makes it seem like you carry grudges or something,” I said. He gave me a strange look. “I’m hoping that’s not true, or you’re probably still majorly pissed off at me.”
He shook his head. “I try not to, but it’s hard when people make the same mistake over and over again. I mean, what’s the use of fucking up if you can’t learn from it? And it pisses me off most of all when I do it.”
“We all fuck up,” I said philosophically. “And it seems that we usually fuck up by doing the same stupid shit.”
“It’s hard for me to wipe the slate completely clean.” He was opening up to me now, and moments like this were to be treasured.
“I can see that.”
“I’m not mad at Robbie, but it bugs me that we have this same pattern, where we get mad at each other and run off to find some other guy to fuck,” he said.
“Why do you do that?”
He gave me an odd look, since I sounded like a psychologist when I asked that, but he wrote it off to me being stoned, which was probably true. “I think it’s how we both stoke our egos. When he rejects me, or I reject him, we need another guy to make us feel attractive, and desirable.”
We sat there and thought about that. “That’s pretty shallow.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded, seriously annoyed.
I looked at him calmly, demanding that he not freak out. “There’s so much more to you than that. I mean, I could see dudes my age thinking that; since for most of them, their looks and charm are all they’ve got to peacock.”
“You’re saying I’m not charming and handsome?” he asked, but he was teasing.
“I think you’re charming and handsome, but there’s a strength about you, a power, that most guys pick up on right away. They see you as a successful man who’s a master of the universe,” I said, remembering a line from a movie, although I couldn’t remember which one.
“So you’re telling me that I do this, sleep with a guy when I’m pissed at Robbie, because I’m still acting like I’m nineteen?” he asked, all outraged again.
“I think that’s what you’re telling me,” I said, grinning at him. I hadn’t meant to be so raw, at basically calling him and Robbie out for being immature assholes when they were fighting, but I guess it was the truth, so I said nothing more.
“Whatever,” he grumbled. We sat there for a while and didn’t talk, but that was OK. He was thinking about what I said. “What about you sleeping with all these guys?”
“All these guys?” I challenged, but just as I’d looked at him, so he looked at me. I guess I could be pretty slutty. “I’m pretending I’m nineteen too,” I joked. “I’m very mature.” We both laughed at that, and then we were quiet again.
“I like Kai,” he said, changing the subject.
“I like him too,” I agreed. If we’d been inside, in the light, he’d be able to see me blush.
“I’m sorry we questioned him like that, about him being a hustler. That wasn’t really fair,” he said, a major admission on his part.
“It’s alright,” I told him. “I didn’t really know him all that well, and I guess I still don’t. My instincts tell me he’s a good dude, and that he’s pretty honest, so even if he is off fucking everyone on the island, I don’t really give a shit.”
He knew I was lying about that, since I liked Kai, but he didn’t call me on it. “What’s he doing in the evenings?”
“I don’t know,” I snapped, showing how much not knowing bothered me. I sighed. “He hasn’t told me, and I haven’t asked. I mean, he has a right to do shit without me knowing about it.”
“I can see that,” he agreed. “It’s weird, since he works for you, so you have this double standard.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, as your employee, he has a right to pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants when he’s not working, and you really don’t have any reason or excuse to pry into his personal life.” I nodded, since that’s exactly how I’d been thinking about this thing. “At the same time, since you like him and there’s some romantic feeling there, and since you’re messing around with him, you feel like you should be able to ask him about his personal life.”
“That’s pretty much it, only those two things conflict,” I noted.
“That’s what it’s like for people who date people they work with,” he noted sagely.
“So how do I handle it?” I asked.
He paused to think about it. “I think that when and if your feelings for him eclipse your working relationship, that’s when you ask him about it.”
That made so much sense. “I’m not there yet, but it probably wouldn’t take much to feel that way.” He smiled, happy for me, happy that I’d found someone I was into.
“How are you and Tony doing?” he asked, a weird change of subject. Why did he bring Tony up when we were talking about me falling for Kai?
“Why do you ask?” I figured I’d throw it back at him.
“In a month you’ll be back in Paly, and going back to school. Tony will be back in September. We’ve usually invited Tony to stay at Escorial, and included him in family events when he’s around. We don’t want to do that if you’re not comfortable with him.”
“I can see that,” I said, but didn’t say anything else for a while. “I sent him an e-mail, and I was a complete asshole, then I sent him another one to try to soften it up. He’s with that Rick guy he blew me off for.”
“I’m sorry,” he said sympathetically.
“It annoys me, but I’m OK with it. With Tony, I had this big idea about who he was, how he was this honest and honorable dude, and I found out he’s not. I’m dealing with who this real Tony is, not the fantasy Tony I used to like.”
“I think you’ll find lots of guys are like that,” he said dourly.
“That’s great,” I groused. “There’s a world full of assholes out there waiting to fuck me, then fuck me over.”
“That’s actually exactly what I’m saying,” he said, being dead serious. “That’s why you have to be tough, and keep your guard up.”
“All that does is make me suspicious and paranoid, so when a dude like Kai comes along, I can’t even give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“You move quickly,” he noted. “Especially with him. If you don’t know someone very well, how can you tell if you trust him or not?”
“I don’t know,” I said, and sounded morose, even to me. “How fucking long does it take to get to know a guy so you can figure out he’s not a shithead?”
“It’s taken me over twenty years with Robbie. I’ll let you know when I get there,” he said, kind of joking, but kind of not. I sensed he’d gone to a place that bugged him, so I changed the topic.
“So as far as Tony goes, it’s fine with me if he’s around. I’ll probably fuck him if I can. That dude just lights my body on fire.”
“Only now you know that just because he’s a good fuck doesn’t mean you can trust him,” Dad said. I stared at him, truly amazed not just at what he said, but what it implied.
“That’s why you act all weird when I talk about having sex with someone,” I accused.
“I do not act all weird,” he objected. He did, he knew it, so I ignored his statement.
“I used to think it was because it just freaked you out to think about me being with someone like that,” I said. I could understand how if he visualized his son being fucked senseless, he might try to think of something else, but that wasn’t it at all. “I mean, I can see that, but sex isn’t really something that bothers you, and you’re not all uptight about it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t bug you that I’m getting laid, it worries you that I’ll be too into the guy and he’ll hurt me,” I pronounced.
Neither one of us said anything for a bit. “Maybe,” he said, cracking me up, since that meant he thought I was right.
“I’m much better at taking care of myself than I was even two months ago, courtesy of Tony and Kyle,” I told him.
“Lessons sometimes come with a certain amount of pain,” he said sagely. I agreed completely.
July 25, 2001
Kai and I stood by the limousine, and while Kai was anxious for them to go so we could go back and surf, I was fighting feelings of loneliness as these two men that I loved got ready to leave.
“I will see you this weekend,” Stef said, easing the sadness of their departure.
“Thanks for making all these trips out here,” I said. I knew he was a busy man, and he was really upsetting his schedule and his life for me.
“It is fun to finish creating this amazing space, and it is good to spend time with you,” he said.
“You’ll have more company the weekend after that,” Dad said. I looked at him, waiting for him to explain that. “Your mother, Hank, and Maddy are coming to visit on August 3rd.”
“They are?” I asked, totally shocked.
“They are. They’re going to stay in a hotel near here, but they want to spend time with you, and Hank wants to see you surf,” he told me.
“You didn’t trust them alone with Scott?” I teased. Kai chuckled.
“This way they’ll be closer to you,” he said, acting annoyed with me.
“How long are they staying?” I asked him, wondering if I was hoping for a long or short visit.
“They’re planning to be here for four days,” he answered. “I have to go. I’ll see you on the 3rd.”
“If you feel like slumming, you can stay here when you come back,” I said to Stef.
“I will consider that,” Stef said. I could almost see his internal ruminations as he tried to weigh the positives of being here, at the house near me, while at the same time having to put up with the pretty unpleasant décor.
“I’ll change the sheets in case he messed them up,” I said, gesturing at Dad. He gave me a fake frown.
“I really enjoyed surfing with you,” Dad said to Kai. “You are really good.”
“I enjoyed it too,” Kai said shyly, giving Dad his cute smile. I gave Dad and Stef big hugs, and then they hopped into the limo and were gone. Kai and I walked back to the gazebo and looked out to the beach, both of us with disappointed expressions on our faces. “Waves suck.”
“I’ve got an idea,” I told him. “Let’s get cleaned up and go out to lunch, then you can show me around the island.”
He smiled. “You’ve been here a lot. What do you want to see?”
“You live here. There’s got to be shit us mainlanders don’t normally see.” We took a shower and blew each other, and it was really good. A blow job from Kai was better than an amazing fuck with someone I didn’t really like all that much, which just emphasized that comment I’d made to him about the impact of emotions on the physical part of sex. I forced my mind away from thinking about the implications of that on my relationship with Tony.
He took us to this dive place in Kahului, where everyone seemed to know him, and got us a table off in the corner. It was actually really romantic, even though the restaurant was noisy and pretty crowded, and it smelled like fish, yet here we were, in this table off to the side, in our own little world. “This place is a dump, but they have good burgers,” he suggested.
“I like it,” I said. I took his hint and ordered a burger. I looked at him and our eyes met, and I couldn’t help but smile. Every second I spent with this dude made me like him more. “You ever slept with a chick?”
He stared at me, kind of shocked that I’d taken us to such a serious topic, but finally nodded. “I had a girlfriend last year.”
“A girlfriend?” That surprised me.
“What about you?” he asked, more of a demand.
“I fucked this girl once, last October. She knew I was gay, but I kind of got the feeling she wanted to do it just to see if she could convert me.” I wasn’t sure if that was entirely what Raine was doing, but it was easy for me to categorize it like that. “Didn’t work.” He chuckled at that.
“How was it?”
“It was good. It was fun,” I said dismissively. “I’d do it again.” He chuckled some more. “How was it for you?”
“I don’t normally talk to people about shit like this,” he said. “I’m a pretty private person.”
“So the big question is, are you going to take a chance on me?” I asked. He gave me a nasty look, like he was trapped, so I tried to take the edge off. “Just talk about what you’re comfortable with.”
“I’ve only been with three people,” he said, and seemed embarrassed. “Well, four, counting you.”
“Dude, you’re fucking smooth in bed. You’re really good. You’ve only been with three other people?” I asked. He blushed a little bit. But his answer had blown me away. I figured he’d be into double digits at least, and here he was, damn near a virgin. Then I reminded myself that dudes can lie, especially when it’s about sex.
“Yeah, but one of them is Keenan,” he said, and we both laughed. “We started messing around when I was fourteen, and he was eighteen. He’s my cousin, and I’ve known him forever. Always thought he was hot.”
“He is,” I said.
“Yeah, he is,” Kai agreed. “He pretty much trained me; showed me how to do shit with other dudes.”
“But he didn’t fuck you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. He’s a total bottom. So I know all about topping.”
“That’s good to know,” I said.
“Do you like that? What are you?”
I thought about that. “I used to think I was a top, but that’s only because getting fucked hurt like hell. Then I found a guy who lit my world on fire, and I decided I was a bottom. But the truth is, I like both. So I guess that makes me versatile.”
“Very,” he said, grinning at me. “How many people have you been with?”
“Define ‘been with’. You mean fucking, or blow jobs and shit like that?”
“Fucking,” he said.
I thought about my sexual history. I didn’t count Gustave, because he didn’t really fuck me, and even though I fucked him, I didn’t want to put him in my pantheon of sex partners. So that left John, Berto, Tony, Jeff, Gathan, Tyler the cab driver, that Carmine dude, David the ice skater, Jason the tech guy, Ryan, Mason, and Kyle. “Twelve.” I watched him carefully to see if that bothered him, but it didn’t seem to.
“So I’d be thirteen,” he joked.
“If you hurry,” I said, making him laugh.
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