Chapter 39—Epilogue

He's so beautiful... lying there. My Kye, my amari, my dulchine, my strong, stubborn love. My consort. My beautiful knight.

I can't help but admire him, stretched out on his stomach on our bed, the sheet tantalizingly low across his hips. His arms are wrapped around the pillow that he has his face buried in. The soft splay of his golden hair fanning the pillow and brushing his shoulders.

Of course I see the scars. I know he views them as a display of his failures, but I see them as evidence of just how strong he is. When I allow myself to think about what Barrett did to him, what his father let be done to him, I still want to scream, to rage, to kill Barrett ten times over. Liam's bullet was too easy a death for him, in my opinion.

And the fact that he's sprawled out, so at ease, shows just how much things have changed, how comfortable and safe he feels now. When I first saw him curled up in my bed so long ago, trying to make himself as small as possible, it broke me, because I knew why he was doing it. I spent several nights just watching him sleep, cringing when he whimpered and flinched in his nightmares. I vowed I would do everything in my power to make him feel loved again, safe again, maybe for the first time ever.

And then I'd failed him.

When I returned from the docks that morning in Trienza and found Kye gone, panic set in—before Reth and Evander even told me that he'd disappeared after visiting his vile basecourt father. Then seeing Barrett holding a knife to Kye's throat... I nearly charged across the space right then. But I had to trust in Liam, that he would help me protect the man I loved. And he needed me to help distract Barrett, so that's what I did.

Watching Barrett flail before falling on top of Kye, though, had me diving through the crowd of my men who were trying to protect me. I wasn't even aware of Barrett's cohort misfiring, or how ruthlessly Captain Bodin took care of the man. After pulling that maggot off Kye, seeing all that blood under his tied hands...

Thank the Gods Liam and the Captain could function—because I nearly couldn't.

He was so weak by then, and I could see him slipping away from me with every smear of his blood staining my chest. Watching the doctor have to burn him, hearing Kye beg for him to stop was gut-wrenching, even though I knew it had to happen. Reth screaming for his brother didn't help. I can only hope the medicine the doctor gave Kye helped to ease the pain before he passed out, but somehow, I know it didn't.

And I had caused him that pain.

If I had been there, maybe taken him with me to the docks... if I had warned him not to go anywhere...

I know I'm not the only one who felt guilt that day. Liam cursed himself for leaving Kye alone to come protect me. Tareth swore he should have taken Kye shopping with him. Evander abhorred his decision to let Kye go out on his own, just to find a little sleep.

But Kye won't let us wallow in blaming ourselves, because, he tells us, he's his own man and he made his own decision and his own mistake. I curse his father every time I think about it, because the man preyed upon Kye's love for his mother to lure him in that day. While Kye hadn't fully trusted his father, he hadn't expected such a betrayal either.

Kye shifted on the bed next to me, perhaps feeling the cool air on his back now that I wasn't wrapped around him. I smoothed my hand over his spine, slipping around to his hip. He's filled out now too. Fine muscles replacing the jutting of his ribs and hip bones after Barrett practically starved him. His skin now has a soft golden tone from his new duties managing the estate gardens and our sun-bathing at the lake.

The lake... when I'd first suggested going there I hadn't realized how it might affect Kye. It had always been a place of peace, a place to relax and enjoy a nice swim, for me. He hadn't said anything when I'd suggested going on a picnic to the lake. In fact, he'd been oddly quiet.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I stowed our lunch in a large cloth bag that I could drape over my shoulder.

"Yes." Kye had answered but it sounded distant and wary. I looked over at him and noticed he was biting his bottom lip.

"Do you not like the water? I thought you'd told me you and Reth went swimming all the time before." I frowned as I took Intrepid's reins, ready to mount him.

Kye eyed my horse warily. I knew he wasn't fond of riding, but that was something I intended to rectify eventually. Reth and I would find a horse with a calm spirit just for him soon.

"I like the water fine. It's... other things—" He stared pointedly at Intrepid pawing at the ground, anxious to be moving. I had neglected him lately, and I'm sure he was excited to stretch his muscles.

I mounted my faithful horse quickly, then reached down to Kye. As soon as he put his hand in mine and I was pulling him up to sit in front of me, I felt a sick feeling slide down my spine.

Oh, Gods. I instantly felt the need to check Kye's hand for blood. As he settled back against me, I lifted his hand, just to be sure, before I wrapped my arms around him.

Now I understood. It hadn't hit me before, but pulling him up on my horse had me remembering the last time I'd been to the lake. To catch Richard. In fact, Kye had traveled through the grove twice before to the lake, both times he was being led to his possible death. No wonder he was nervous.

I dropped my head to the back of his neck, mumbling to myself of my stupidity, "Sino supito, what was I thinking?" I nudged Kye's head to the side so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "Gods, teh amari, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking about what the lake might mean to you—"

"What?" Kye jolted, obviously startled from his internal turmoil.

"Pulling you up onto Intrepid, reminded me of that night we went after Richard. Gods, you must think I'm trying to torment you or something, taking you back there."

"No, no—well, maybe a little, but I've heard the way you and Rowland talk about it. I know you love it there. And I know you just want to share it with me. And I want to—I need it to be more than just where..." He trailed off as he took a deep breath. "Barrett and Richard are gone. They aren't waiting for me there. I know that. I just need..."

"You need the lake to be more than the memory of what happened," I concluded, and he nodded. "We'll go make our own memories. New ones that will burn those old ones away."

He looked up at me with a grin. "That sounds perfect."

And I made sure it was.

We spent the whole afternoon at the lake. The sun streaming through the trees, glittering on the water's surface, was warm. He had grabbed a couple apples from low tree limbs as we rode by, so after we dismounted and I'd set out a light blanket from the satchel, we ate the juicy apples first.

He laughed when Intrepid tried to steal mine, juice from his apple dripping over his chin. I relinquished my fruit to my bossy horse and leaned over Kye, licking the trail of sweetness from his chin. His soft blue eyes widened slightly as my tongue reached his lips. The apple dropped from his hand as he grabbed my neck and held me as he fell back on the blanket. I crawled over him, devouring his sweet, tantalizing mouth.

A soft, wet nose nudged my side, breaking us apart. I turned my head to see Intrepid nudging us aside so he could reach Kye's fallen apple. Of course, that caused both of us to burst into laughter.

We decided on swimming before eating lunch, which ended up being a much more sensual affair than I could have planned as we fed each other the meats, cheeses, and fruits. That, of course, led to much more heated, intimate touches.

It didn't take long for both of us to be crying out our pleasure, and to decide that another cleansing swim might be in order.

Looking at Kye's bronze back now, and remembering that day, lazing in the sun the rest of the afternoon, brought a smile to my face. I'd watched the water droplets run over his skin as he settled in the sun, letting the heat dry his bare skin.

I slid my hand down his spine, remembering the kisses I'd placed there.

"Mmmm, is it morning already?" he grumbled at me.

I leaned over him, gently kissing his shoulder before shaking him awake. "Yes, amari. We need to get up early today."

"Noooo," he groaned, curling deeper into the pillow.

Gods, he was so... I curled my body around his, wrapping him up in my arms. Maybe we could just lay here a little longer...

"Much better..." Kye mumbled under me.

Mirde... It was so easy to get lost in him, to relish the feel of his heated body against mine. To just want to block out the rest of the world, especially after I'd come so close to losing him.

I forced myself to focus and pulled back. I slapped his hip softly. "Kye, come on. Everyone will be waiting for us."

"Let them wait," Kye mumbled. "On second thought, how about I just stay here, and you all can go without me."

I nuzzled into his neck, nipping gently along his throat to his earlobe. "You know that's not going to happen. You're the one the Regent and Prince Harrison want to meet. Escorting Lady DeLyle to the capital is just fortunate luck for her since we are going there anyway. Otherwise, Row would have sent her on already with another escort."

Kye snorted. "More like Liam would have thrown her in a carriage and slapped the horses into a gallop the minute we returned from Trienza."

"Well, there is that," I laughed. Liam had put up with Isobel DeLyle's blatant advances on Rowland much longer than I thought he would. Sometimes, I think Row was enjoying Liam's little displays of jealousy a little bit too much.

Kye finally rolled over, apparently knowing I wasn't going to let him fall back asleep. His hand lifted to my neck pulling me down into a demanding kiss, probably thinking he could distract me. He was very good at that. I loved the taste of him, the feel of his skin against mine.

I absently lifted my hand to wrap around his, my fingers ghosting over the pulse at his wrist, slipping down his arm. I stopped, as I often did, with my thumb tracing the scar on the inside of his arm. I leaned forward and kissed my way down the scar.

It was a thick, still-reddened ridge marring the soft fleshy underside of his forearm. The bandages came off shortly after we returned home, after the threat of infection was past. At first the skin had been blackened, and I could barely watch the doctor clean and change the bandages.

And Kye's pain from it was excruciating for several days, afterwards. He tried not to let it show. He had trouble trying to use the hand because attempting to grip anything aggravated the muscles and tissues around the wound. I could tell he was hiding a lot of his discomfort from his brother. As the sensitive skin slowly healed, he slowly regained some strength in his arm. I'm not sure how much more the scar will fade. It'll always be a stark reminder of how close I came to losing him.

"I'm still here," he reminded me, knowing I still got lost in my fear of that day.

"I know you are." I gathered him in my arms and rolled with him, so he was now lying on top of me, his thighs spread around my hips.

His curtain of blond fell around his face as he lifted slightly to stare down at me. I could get lost in those soft powder blue eyes forever. I intended to be lost in those intense, bright eyes forever.

He grinned down at me, a small smirk tipping the corners of his mouth as I realized he'd started shifting his hips, creating a delicious friction between our hard shafts.

"Oh, Kye..." I groaned, reveling in the heavenly sensations he was creating with such little movement. I thrust my hips in tandem with his, chasing the edges of arousal.

Then, abruptly, he stopped and jumped off of me, slapping his hand on my rapidly beating heart. "We have to go, remember?"

I gaped at him, and he grinned as he turned for the bathing room, taunting me with that tight backside.

What the hell? The little stubborn devil.

Grumbling, and more than a little frustrated, I rolled out of bed and joined him in the bathing room. He was already washing up, still wearing that mischievous little smirk of his.

I glared at him as I set about shaving off my morning stubble. "You know, it's going to take a couple days to travel to the capital at least."

"I know." Kye flippantly tossed down the rag as he sauntered back towards the bedroom.

I took a deep calming breath. Kye was intentionally taunting me, and it was working, damn it. Fine, I could do this.

I finished with a final swipe of the shaving blade, wiping the stray cream from my face. A quick rub with the wet towel to freshen up and I was heading back out to my wardrobe.

Fuck. I stopped short at seeing Kye bent over pulling his pants up over his bare behind. The tiny smile I caught at the edges of his lips told me he probably had been waiting for the moment I came out of the bathing room to do that.

I quickly schooled my features. I'd had plenty of practice at being the stoic aristocrat when I had to be. I drew in a deep breath as I marched past him to my own wardrobe. Be strong.

After quickly pulling on suitable riding clothes, I turned to find Kye leaning next to the door, arms crossed languidly as he watched me. He looked so good in his new garments. The tailor in Trienza had done an excellent job fitting Kye with clothes that accented his slender body. The oversized clothes he'd been wearing until recently had practically buried him. Fortunately, I had also told the tailor to build in a little 'growing' room because Kye's emaciated body had filled out nicely, making his new attire fit perfectly.

"Ready?"

He nodded, another barely concealed grin as he watched me try to adjust myself in my own pants before heading downstairs.

We met the others downstairs in the dining room. Fortunately, I was able to slide quickly into a seat as I waited for my 'excited state' to abate. It didn't help that Kye kept teasing my thigh with his hand.

Watching Lady DeLyle continue to fawn over my brother was a nice distraction. Liam kept his face practically buried in his plate to avoid having to watch any of it, but I noticed Row was casting glances at the man.

"Well, I believe it is time to be on our way," Rowland finally announced. He looked down to the end of the table where Tareth and Donnelly were seated. "As we discussed, Donnelly, you are in charge in our absence. We shall only be a week, maybe ten days, as we don't intend to stay long."

"Aye, sir. Be well," Donnelly acknowledged with a nod.

As we rose, Tareth made his way to his brother's side, offering him a good-bye hug. I patted him on the back.

"How did everything go with the inn?"

Tareth smiled back at me. "Good. Lillith and Ander were happy to stay on and run The Rose for us for a split in the profits. I think they'll make great managers, since neither Kye nor I have any interest in running it. It'll give them extra income as well as us."

"You can use it for your new home with Amelia," Kye said.

Tareth blushed. "I can't believe she said yes."

"I don't think there was any doubt," I said with a smile.

"Not with the way she looks at you," Kye added with a grin.

"Thanks. Have a good trip, sir." Tareth shook my hand before giving his brother another hug.

"When we get back, we'll all go visit your mother's resting place," I added.

Kye looked up at me with a soft, sad smile. I pulled him closer, wrapping him in my embrace. The loss of his mother was still hard for him, especially not having been able to say good-bye.

Tareth gave me an appreciative nod before disappearing through the kitchens.

I turned to see Isobel had latched onto Row's arm as we all followed Rowland out to the front where the horses, carriages, and wagon of trunks had already been prepared and were waiting. Marcus and Will were holding the teams steady.

"Oh, my dear Lord Rowland," Lady DeLyle fanned herself as if she were overheated already. "I'm sure you will join me in my carriage. It will be dreadfully dull with no one to talk to."

I noticed the sly smile as Rowland carefully extricated himself from her clutches. He strode over to where Liam was taking the reins from the young man holding his horse. "No, my dear baroness, I plan to ride next to my amari."

My jaw dropped as he gripped the back of Liam's head and dragged him in for a kiss. It took a second for my mind to catch up and see Liam's shocked, wide eyes drift closed as he gripped Rowland's coat and held him firmly.

Kye was laughing next to me already. And as I caught sight of Lady DeLyle's gaping mouth, I started chuckling too. It was probably the most unladylike I'd ever seen her.

Liam finally pushed Rowland away long enough to glare at him. "You pick now? Why?"

Rowland grinned at Liam's indignant pout. "Because it was so much fun to tease you."

"You bastard," Liam grumbled without much heat as he claimed another kiss for himself.

"Well, that was worth getting up early for," Kye piped up with a smile.

"Well, I—I d-don't know what... what to s-say..." Isobel stammered, looking flushed and faint.

"You are a lovely lady," Rowland said as he turned to mount his horse. After he was seated, he continued, "I'm sure you will find an appropriate suitor in the capital. Many of our fellow nobles visit the court on a regular basis."

"Ah, yes, well..." She waved her hand, fanning herself more vigorously. "... I'll just... climb on up here..." She moved quickly to her carriage, apparently ready to escape scrutiny.

Rowland walked his horse closer. "Kye and Ash can join you in your carriage if you'd like company."

"What?" I blurted out, my eyes going wide at my brother's suggestion. I had no intention of spending two days cramped in a carriage with the Baroness. That was specifically why we were taking two.

Kye looked equally stricken.

Row just grinned evilly. Bastard. He knew I'd accompany the lady, if she requested it, if only to remain socially polite. But he had known I'd planned to ride in the second carriage with Kye.

"Uh, no, thank you, my lord," she said carefully. She didn't seem very comfortable around Kye now that he was a peer. Kye had told me how she used to treat him at Barrett's, like a cute little pet, feeding him bits from her plate, petting his head. Seeing Kye as the strong, confident young man he was now must still be disquieting to her. And, unlike Row, there is no mystery were my affections lie, so I wasn't worth her time.

"I'll be quite content to... uh, read my book or perhaps rest. Thank you." She turned offering her hand delicately out to the man standing next to the carriage. Gavin carefully gave her a hand up.

"Well? What are you two waiting for? Get in the carriage, we have a bit of a ride before stopping for the night." Rowland was grinning uncontrollably.

I shook my head, silently cursing him. Kye and I climbed in the carriage, and moments later, it was rumbling down the path.

"Kye—" I'd started, but he abruptly dropped to the floor of the carriage in front of me. His hand stroked over the front of my crotch. "Oh, fazito enferni!"

He leaned forward, nuzzling against my thigh, a wicked gleam in his eye. "We have a long trip... how would you like to spend it?"

I think my mind grayed out for a moment as his words drove me insane.

"Close the damn curtain!" Rowland's voice suddenly interrupted.

Kye only waved at my brother through the window before I yanked the velvet curtain over the window.

"Now, where were we, amari?" I reached down to pull him up into my arms. I cupped the back of his head, drawing him closer.

I licked at his lips softly before delving in to taste him, and he sighed under my assault. He loved kissing, and I swore I could kiss him forever. He straddled my lap as I held him, devouring him.

"I love you. Sir." He whispered against his neck.

I pulled back abruptly to see the little playful smirk on his face. Two could play at that game.

"I love you too, little one," I returned, waiting for the indignant huff that usually followed anyone calling him that.

Yet this time it didn't happen.

He just lifted a brow as he stared down at me from his perch on my lap. "That's Sir Little One, my lord."