Bloodlines - 24. Chapter 24

October 18, 1998

The trip ended up taking a lot longer than we thought it would. There was some major traffic on 101. Brad sat there fuming while I drove but I was in a pretty good mood; I was glad to have my GMC back. We kept trying to figure out what would make traffic so shitty on a Sunday. Maybe the 49ers were playing? We started to drive up the hill into Escorial and I looked at the clock on the GMC. 7:05.

“We're going to be late for dinner,” I said.

“Too fucking bad,” Brad said. Still, he was as tuned in to the rules as I was. “Park in front. It's closer to the dining room.” I laughed and parked with a squeal, then we tore inside. I looked at my watch as we walked in. 7:09pm.

“What a pleasant surprise!” Isidore said as soon as she saw us, jumping up to give both of us friendly hugs.

“I'm sorry we're late,” I said to JP. “We hit traffic until we got to Palo Alto.”

“You are forgiven,” he said and hugged me. But there was some serious tension in the room. What happened? I looked at Stefan and he seemed visibly upset. Claire and Jack were there, and so were Ace and Cass. It would have been pleasant to be here without the cloud hanging over things.

“So what brings you up here?” JP asked Brad.

“We have some issues to discuss,” he said firmly.

“This sounds interesting,” Jack whispered to me.

“You have no idea,” I whispered back.

“I asked Brian to move out,” Brad said firmly, throwing down the gauntlet.

“I did not think he was living in your house,” JP said. I saw the fire flash in Brad's eyes. He wasn't doing his normally good job of controlling his temper, which told me how disturbed he really was.

“Stefan, did you not tell me that what was yours is mine?” Brad asked, while staring directly at JP.

“That is different,” JP said, attempting to blow that off.

“Oh really? Let me put it into context. It was when Neil was in the picture, and I told him that his privileges on Stef's plane and in Malibu were revoked. I apologized to Stef for making that decision without consulting him first, and that's when he told me that. He said that anyone who treats me so badly will not be welcome in his home, or on his plane.” Brad turned to Stef. “Did I misinterpret that?”

“You did not,” Stef said. “And your memory is remarkable.”

“I find it is useful just in case others lose their moral compass,” Brad said, looking straight at JP. In no time at all, these two normally calm, deliberate men were at each other's throats.

“I would like to know what is going on,” Claire said firmly. That surprised everyone. “Bradley, there is nothing wrong with Daddy's moral compass, but he certainly is not infallible.”

“Evidently there is a love triangle involving Cody, Brian, and Matt,” JP said. Everyone looked at me and I felt myself blushing. I wanted to sink under the table and vanish. They were going to think this was all my fault, and they'd probably all end up hating me. Maybe it was all my fault.

“Slut,” Jack whispered, making me almost laugh and easing some of my nervousness.

“That is not what this is about,” Brad said, interrupting him. “Brian is rude and obnoxious to everyone. He shelters behind you, and that is fine, I was willing to put up with it, but not when he's living in my world. You want him to move up here and plague your life, that's fine. But he's not going to plague mine. He is gone, out of there. If you feel so sorry for him, buy him a new place, but just make sure it's not in Malibu.”

“You are giving me an ultimatum?” JP asked.

“I am.” There were audible gasps at that. Brad said these words like a duelist would deliver a challenge. Everyone just looked at the two of them, interested, stunned, and worried all at the same time. “Will you stand with your family, or with Brian?” Brad asked.

“Brian is part of my family,” JP said stubbornly.

“Then let him inflict himself on you, not me, not my partner, and not my children,” Brad said firmly.

“Matt, can you shed some light on this situation?” Claire asked me, interjecting herself as a referee.

“That is not necessary,” JP said. He was trying to save me some embarrassment, and I appreciated that. The last thing I wanted to do was to divulge details about my sordid sex life, especially in this hot house environment.

“I think it is,” Claire said. “I want to know what happened.” JP looked at her, then back to Brad, then to Ace, and finally to Stef. I don't think he realized until that point that he was alone, that this battle was his and he was standing in the field with no friendly troops around him. But I liked Claire a lot. If she asked me to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge I'd probably mull it over.

“I see,” JP said. “Please give us a history lesson, Matt.”

I swallowed hard. Now I was going to have to expose my whole love life to everyone. I started back when Cody and I first got together, and moved forward through the deal I'd cut with Brian where he'd leave Cody alone and I'd leave Justin alone.

“So he broke his part of the bargain?” Ace asked. “Why are we even talking about this asshole?” I tried to give JP a sympathetic look without everyone seeing me. He was truly embattled.

I'd noticed in the past that everyone else seemed to ignore Ace's bluster, so I followed suit. I went through the whole scene in Malibu, and how I'd slept with Cody, and how I'd told him I wouldn't back off. I felt like an idiot then, and that made me wonder if I'd been acting like an idiot through the whole thing, but they seemed to appreciate my honesty. I told them about the last line on the patio, where Brian told me that I wasn't welcome in their home.

“And that is when I explained that if that was the case, he wasn't welcome in our home, and offered to help him pack,” interjected Brad. “Brian then explained that it wasn't my house, that it was Stef's and that he was staying.”

“Well, they are getting their own house. They will be gone soon enough,” JP said, trying to blow the whole thing off. Brad was having none of it.

“On the trip up here I got so pissed off, thinking that I would actually have to come up here and have this discussion,” Brad said, enraged. “It seemed impossible to me that you would not back me up after everything we've been through together, not to mention the fact that you're my father. But you're fucking doing it. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.”

“I will thank you to watch your language,” JP said coldly.

“I don't care if Brad says 'fuck', I only care that he makes some very valid points,” Claire said, stunning everyone. I noticed that Isidore smiled slightly at her suddenly assertive daughter.

I looked over to Stef, who was sitting there contemplating the scene in front of him, of the total revolution that was taking place. I was trying to figure out where he'd land on this whole thing. Would he support Brad, his son in all but name, or his lover? “Bradley, the house in Malibu is yours. I should have given it to you long ago. It was an oversight on my part.” JP looked at Stef, very surprised, and a little pissed. Stef had made his choice, and he'd left JP standing alone in the rain, so to speak. There was a moment when JP's amazingly strong external shields failed and I could see him roiling from these blows.

“I would like to say something, and it will not be easy, so I ask you to hear me out,” Isidore said. Everyone focused on her. “There was a time, JP, when one of our sons had serious issues. I did not see that, I ignored it. I jumped to his defense blindly, and turned my back on everyone else. My whole family told me I was wrong, everyone tried to tell me that. I found myself isolated, but my pride prevented me from admitting I was wrong.” She paused, tears running down her face. Frank put his arm around her affectionately, but no one said a thing. Brad looked like JP had just a few moments earlier, like she'd hit him with a body blow. “I have never felt so lonely in my life as I did then, not even when I had just given birth to Ace and was a single mother still in France. You tried to reach me, but you could not, I would not let you. And we lost him. We lost our son.” Isidore broke down and everyone was crying now, thinking of Billy.

Isidore strengthened herself. “So I am saying to you, telling you just like you told me, to pull your head out of your posterior and see Brian for the ass that he is, before you rip your family apart. Everyone looks to you for leadership and everyone respects you. That is what you are risking. That is what you are about to lose.”

We all looked at JP. I really felt sorry for him; he was truly in a corner. I saw him scan the table surreptitiously; evaluating the situation and the looks he was getting from those around him. I could almost see his scientific mind processing, evaluating, and then it was as if reality had broken through. He put both of his hands onto the table and spoke softly. “I did not realize that you all felt such animosity toward Brian. In retrospect, it was wrong of me to try to impose him upon you Brad, and I should not have questioned your judgment. We will see if, even at the ripe old age of 62, I can learn to change and not do that again.”

And it just sat there in the middle of the room, JP's abject surrender. I kept trying to think of something to say to end the silence, but in the end it was Stef that jumped in and moved us out of that bind. “I think that was most gracious of you JP. I have fewer qualms than you, though, so you may need to be charitable and help him out. He will be unemployed as of tomorrow,” Stef said. But it wasn't even what he said; it was how he said it. He used that tone that he adopted when he was talking business, the one that transformed him from a flitting socialite into a hard-core mogul. It dawned on me that as long as they'd known him, some of the people around that table had probably never seen that side of Stefan. I wondered why he'd hidden that side of himself, the brilliant, assertive person that he was when he moved in the world of business. Maybe that's how he kept them separated, his personal and business lives?

There was an uncomfortable lull in the conversation, so I decided to try and help. “We beat UCLA in our hockey game last night,” I told Claire and Jack lamely. They were Stanford alums.

“That's always a good thing,” Jack said with a grin.

“Yes it is,” JP agreed. Conversation largely stopped after that while we all ate quietly.

After dinner everyone scattered. Brad sequestered himself with JP, presumably to try and repair the damage to their relationship, and I felt pretty isolated. I thought about heading back to the dorms, but I couldn't really do that without at least saying goodbye to Brad. I headed out to the patio to smoke some of that amazing weed they grew here. I'd just lit the joint when I heard the door open and Stef came out to join me.

As soon as he sat down I passed him the joint then started baring my soul. “I feel so responsible for that whole scene,” I told Stef. “This whole family almost ripped itself apart just because of who I fuck.”

Stef giggled. “Now Matt, if fucking people would rip the family apart, I would have destroyed it years ago.” He cracked me up. “This has been building for a long time, since before we were lucky enough to have you in our lives.”

“It has?”

“We discovered Brian when he applied to work as my personal assistant. He was destitute, and an orphan. He went from having nothing to wanting for nothing. For some, that is a blessing and they remain grateful for what they have. For others, like Brian, they become spoiled. I have seen it, but I have done nothing because of JP.”

“Does he do a good job for you?” I asked.

“He did, he can, but he has not done well lately. He is distracted, and he seems to feel that he should not really have to work.”

“So what will happen to him?” I asked.

“He will receive a few big shocks this coming week and probably beyond. But he will still not have any major problems. JP's eyes are opened. Not since the thing with Billy has he come so close to losing the respect of his family. He will help Brian, but he will keep Brian away from us until Brian learns how to be a productive part of our clan.” Stef paused.

“That scene in the dining room, it was like watching a revolution,” I said, trying desperately to understand what was happening.

“In a sense, it was, but not how you think. JP has been the de-facto head of our family, or our branch of it, for some thirty years or so. You are witnessing the rise of the next leader,” Stef said, looking contemplative. “Brad has just told him that he wants – no, demands, a say in things. And JP has just agreed.” I just stared at him.

“That's amazing,” I said.

Stef shrugged. “It has been a long time coming. Just like Greg could not bring himself to give up control and delegate to Robbie, JP has not acknowledged that Brad is his peer and not his subordinate.” He flicked a piece of dust off his suit. “I am less concerned with that than with you. Are you OK?”

“I'm OK, I'm just really confused Stef. I don't want a tight relationship with Cody. I mean, he's too unstable for me and I'm not even there, so it wouldn't work. But I really care about him, and sex with him just makes the earth move.”

Stef giggled. “He is good at that. I think that he is under a lot of pressure from Brian. I do not know why he is doing this, going down this path, but Cody is very astute. He may make a mistake, but once he figures it out, he will fix it.”

“Was I wrong to refuse to get involved in their bullshit? I guess I should have sworn not to fuck him.”

“What you did was nothing more than Brian did to you. I do not see that you have vacated the moral high ground here. And it is nonsense for Cody to expect you to provide strength here. He must be the one to be faithful, not you. I think you should go back to school and leave these drama queens to destroy themselves. Maybe you can emerge later on and pick up some of the juicier pieces.”

I laughed. “You mean like Cody?”

“He is most definitely a juicy piece,” Stef joked.

“I'm sorry about all this Stef. This is all new to me, and I just wasn't going to let that fucking bitch dictate to me who I could and couldn't fuck. Plus I'm still pissed off that he walked in and ripped Cody away from me again.” I sighed. “If Brian would have left me something, a little piece of Cody, I would have backed off.”

“That is not his way, and it is not what he wanted. He wants to control Cody.” He was such a sage.

“Will JP be alright?” I asked. “I feel like I owe him a big apology.”

“Matt, you were the only one at that table tonight showing any sympathy for him. I felt horrible having to go against him like that, but he was wrong and I know I did the right thing. I'm sure he noticed your support. That was more valuable than anything you could say at this point.” I nodded. “As charming as your company is, this whole ordeal has exhausted me, and now I must go to bed.”

“Would you like some company?” I asked, flirting.

“You are tempting.” He was a lot of fun to joke around with.

“I need to go back to campus. Do you think it would be alright if I just went in and said goodbye to Brad?”

He smiled. “It will probably be good for both of them. You have learned to appreciate Brad's qualities eh?”

“I love Robbie, I really do, but I feel like I'm more like Brad,” I said.

“How interesting,” Stef said. “I think you are too.” He got up and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek, then headed inside. I let him go, then got up and headed to JP's study. The door was still closed and the voices were muted. They weren't yelling, they weren't angry, they were subdued. I stood there, hesitating, but finally found my balls and knocked gently.

“Enter,” I heard JP say. His voice sounded strong and firm. I opened the door and walked in to find them sitting side by side on the couch.

“I'm sorry to intrude,” I said nervously. “I was going to head back to campus and I wanted to say goodbye first.”

“You are not intruding at all,” JP said. He got up and guided me to a chair. I didn't want to sit down, I didn't want to stay there, I didn't want to be involved in this, I just wanted to get back to campus, but that was apparently not going to be my destiny.

“I want to apologize to both of you. I didn't mean for my pathetic love life to cause all of these problems,” I said lamely.

Brad and JP both laughed. “Your issues were just a spark,” JP said. “I had my priorities out of line, and Brad explained things to me. It has been a good thing. You should not feel guilty.”

“Besides, you have enough shit to deal with, just handling your pathetic love life,” Brad teased.

“What I would give for a time machine to go back a few years and show Matt all the drama your pathetic love life caused,” JP said, laughing.

“And if we dialed it back a little more, would yours have been all calm and tranquil?” Brad replied. He got up and gave me a big hug. “Enjoy college and leave those other idiots behind.”

“Like you did?” I asked. JP started to crack up. “You have time to eat lunch with a mere freshman tomorrow?” I asked JP.

“You see Bradley, even at 62, I am being asked out on dates by handsome young men,” JP said. “Come by my office at noon.”

“I'll see you then,” I said, and then I managed to escape back to Lag.

October 19, 1998

There was some rowdy action in the hall that just pissed me off. It wasn't that the noise bothered me. I mean, it was 2am and all, but I wasn't asleep or anything. What bothered me was that I'd blown off studying and homework for the last few days and that had left me way behind, and now I was stressing trying to catch up. So those fuckers having a blast in the hallway were just reminding me of the consequences of my stupid decision to spend all that time in Malibu. Even if I did get to fuck Wesley Crusher. There was a knock on the door and it opened cautiously.

“You beating off?” Danfield asked.

“Nope, I was waiting for you to do it for me,” I joked.

“Cramer came back from a party with Konrad and the other guys. His snoring is obnoxious enough, but when he's drunk it's really annoying,” he said. “Especially when I'm not.”

“You want to sleep in that bed or with me?” I asked with a leer. He laughed.

“I want to finish studying for that fucking Biology exam, smoke a joint, relax, and then crash,” he said.

“Dude, I'm all over that,” I said. He grabbed his books and came back and camped out on Cole's bed. It was so cool having him around. I'd always had my own space, my own room, or rooms, and I was kind of nervous about this whole room-sharing shit. And I loved Cole, he was a great guy, but I felt totally comfortable with Danfield. When he was around I could pretend he wasn't and focus, then totally have a blast with him when I wanted to take a break. It wasn't until 4am that we both decided we'd done enough. It was too late for a joint, and we were both too tired anyway.

Danfield fell asleep almost immediately. He was really cute when he slept. He didn't snore, but he had this thing he did; like heavy breathing, only it was more of a whispering whistle. That wasn't the only thing though. When he first fell asleep he went through this phase where he moved all around. It usually only lasted ten or fifteen minutes. I watched him start doing it and forced myself not to giggle and wake him up. He rolled over onto his left side, away from me. Then he rolled back onto his back and his arm flew up onto the pillow next to his head. Next his left leg rose up, and then he kicked it back down. After a few minutes, that phase was over and he just lay there on the bed in his boxers.

I stood up and walked over to him and looked down at him. He was handsome in a way that he didn't appreciate. He had fine features, features that on a regular guy might have even looked feminine, but he was so masculine they just hyper-charged his good looks and charm. I let my eyes wander over his body and had to turn away to avoid the inevitable reaction. He had light brown hair, although not too much of it. His arms and legs were almost hairless it was so sparse. He had a normal amount under his arms, but his chest and stomach were pretty much hairless too. He worked out, he had to, and it showed; only he wasn't big boned, so his strength seemed less obvious. He wasn't like Cole, all beefy and football-player-like. He wasn't like me or Konrad, where we were bigger guys and when we worked out we got big and filled out. No, he had a classical beauty, the kind of body you'd see when you went to Athens or Rome and looked at their ancient marble statues. I took the covers and laid them gently over him, both to avoid any temptations and to make sure he didn't get too cold, then I snuck off to the bathroom and jacked off, thinking about how much I'd like to lick his entire body.

“That test fucking blew,” Danfield said as we walked out of our Biology class.

“Dude, it so blew,” I agreed. “Fucking prof.”

“There's no way that dude isn’t a fag,” Danfield said. Then he looked at me all horrified. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” I asked.

“For using that word,” he said. I smiled at him and put my arm around his shoulders in a friendly way.

“It's all good. It doesn't really bother me, at least when you say it. Besides, I'm still plotting to get your man cherry,” I joked.

“I'd better get a butt plug for when I crash in your room,” he said with his smile. I loved his voice and his smooth accent. He was so refined that he pronounced every letter, every syllable of each word, but it still dragged out with his southern inflection .

“Don't bother. I've got one I can give you,” I said. He laughed but I wasn't joking.

“So you wanna grab lunch?” he asked.

“Can't. I'm meeting JP. How about dinner?” I asked.

“You're on. Call me,” he said and then we split up. He got to go to the dorms and crash, and I got to have lunch with JP. I headed up to his office. It was really appealing, on the curved part of the building. It was all done in dark wood paneling, looking every bit like an old English study, complete with maroon leather furniture.

“You are punctual,” JP said warmly.

“I know how important that is to you,” I teased.

“Do you have any classes this afternoon?” he asked.

“Nope. My Mondays and Wednesdays are pretty open once I'm done suffering through English Lit.”

“Good,” he said. “Let's go somewhere off campus.”

“You decide, I'll tag along,” I told him, ceding complete control. What a contrast from last night, someone giving up control to him. I followed him out to the faculty lot and hopped into his Aston Martin. “How long have you had this car?”

“I got it earlier in the year,” he said. “I thought about a Jaguar, but Stef insisted that this was much more appropriate,” he joked. He headed to 101 and went north toward the City.

“So where are you taking me?” I asked. “I'm hoping for a hotel room and an afternoon of hot sex.”

He blushed and shook his head. “You will be disappointed then. Do you want me to tell you, or do you want to be surprised?”

“Surprise me,” I said. I just relaxed back into the DB-7's soft leather seat and watched the scenery as we zipped up 101. When we got close to the airport, he crossed over to I-280 and took that up toward the City. About 45 minutes after we had left we finally made it to our mystery location. “What is this place?”

“The Cliff House. See how it sits right there on the ocean. The views are spectacular, and the food is good.” He led us in and of course they were expecting us. We got a table in the corner, overlooking the coast on both sides. It was amazing.

“This place is incredible JP. You're full of surprises,” I teased. “Still, I'd trade it for that hotel room in a heartbeat.”

“I have way more willpower than Cody,” he teased, and then got nervous, worried that he had brought up bad memories and hurt my feelings. I laughed to show him that he didn't. “I'm sorry,” he said, making amends anyway. “That may be an open wound?”

“It's more of an annoyance than a wound,” I said. “I probably handled that whole thing really badly.”

“How did you handle it badly?” he asked.

“Brian and Cody have a really twisted thing going on. It's not about love; it's about sex and control. And I walked right into the middle of it, and I thought with my dick and stuck around.” He gave me a kindly look. “I fell for him, JP, and I knew that we couldn't really be a couple, but he just tossed me aside for Brian. That was rough.”

“Hard on your emotions, hard on your ego,” he said thoughtfully. “Personally, I'm glad you're away from them and not involved with Cody.” He then hurried to add a disclaimer. “Not that I'm trying to tell you what to do or influence you.”

I flashed him my smile and turned up the wattage. “I know. I appreciate your comments. But I'm wondering why you think that?”

“You have never been in love. Cody is probably a huge challenge when it comes to that. When you started playing hockey, you had to learn to skate first. Before you really envision a relationship with Cody, I think it would help if you had some experience under your belt.” He paused. “I'm hoping that you survived your initial round with him relatively unscathed.”

In other words, it would take a pro to finally land Cody, and I was just a rookie. If anyone else had said that, it would piss me off. Coming from JP, it just seemed profound. “I'm fine, really I am. Are you?”

He swallowed hard. “It's tough to get older and realize that you are mortal, and it's tough to give up control when you never thought you'd have to. I've treated Brad like my child for so long that now, when he's an adult and much more competent than I am, I can't see the amazing man beneath the youthful exterior. Or at least I couldn't.”

“So this whole confrontation may have been a good thing for you?”

“I think it was. We re-crafted our relationship on much more solid ground.” He hesitated, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't.

I knew what it was, what he really had on his mind. “You're thinking about Brian.”

“Your Uncle Jeff used to do that to me, he'd read my mind and really piss me off,” he said with a grin.

“You don't seem pissed off,” I teased.

“How could I be mad? I'm sitting here at one of the most spectacular restaurants in the world with a shockingly handsome young man.”

I gave him my stern look. “And you're changing the subject.”

“Everyone else seems to have such an easy time writing Brian off, and I just can't do it. He's still my brother, and he hasn't had an easy life.”

“Why is he like, well, like he is?” I asked.

“He hasn't handled all the changes in his life very well. Some people, like Stef, when they come from a poor background, they can merge into a more opulent lifestyle with a minimum of problems. Stef had it a little easier, because of who his is, his personality, his brilliance, and because he was from France and that always made him seem exotic and classy.”

“And Brian is from Appalachia,” I said.

“He is. This world shocked him at first, and he was overwhelmed by it. Then he let it take him over, only he wasn't used to it. You were raised around this kind of lifestyle. You fly on Stef's jet and it's convenient, but not something you haven't done before. You see our massive house and you like it, but you grew up in a house not that much smaller. We come to a restaurant like this and you know without thinking which fork to use and when to put your napkin in your lap. Brian didn't have the background to handle that. Instead of relieving financial pressure and letting him just be the best person he could be, it corrupted him.”

And then I got it. “And you think that's all your fault. That somehow you could have eased him into this, spent a little more time making sure he fit in and adapted. If only you'd focused on him a little more than yourself,” I said, hitting all the points that had been eating at him. “If only you'd done that, he'd be like Stef, or Brad, or Ace?”

“Or you,” he said. A nice compliment that forced a smile when I was trying to be serious.

“So now that we're talking about this, does it really make sense to you?” I asked. “He is who he is, JP. I don't get why you're trying to remake him. Let him fall on his face, on his ass, let him learn on his own. He doesn't need training wheels anymore.”

“I just worry about what will happen to him now that he's unemployed and homeless,” he said, sounding all maudlin.

“Well, he's probably fucking the guy I thought I was in love with right now, and Cody's got bucks to cover him. I don't know or care if you've set him up with cash, but I doubt you'll let him starve. So it's actually kind of offensive to call him homeless when there's probably a guy two blocks from here who really is.” I'd let him piss me off a little bit, so I worked my temper back under control.

“Stef was right. You are a lot like Brad,” he said with a smile. We finished our lunch and made it back to Stanford by 4:00, before traffic got bad.

“Thanks for lunch JP,” I said as he dropped me off at Lag.

“I should be thanking you. Don't be a stranger. You know where I work,” he joked, then kicked the Aston Martin, sending a few pieces of gravel flying as he took off.