Bloodlines - 25. Chapter 25

October 21, 1998

“This food blows,” Danfield said as we sat down in the cafeteria with trays loaded up with crappy food.

“We're just spoiled,” I told him.

“No, this food sucks,” he said firmly.

I took a bite out of this thing they called a cheeseburger. It was pretty nasty. “OK. You're right.” He laughed.

“So I heard a nasty rumor,” he said.

“What?” I was stuffing food, such as it was, in my mouth.

“Amber hooked up with Marc Holden this weekend while we were in LA.”

“Does Cole know?” I asked, almost in a panic.

“I doubt it. I heard it from Tracy Lester. She's a cunt, so it could be a total lie.”

“Dude, if it's true, this would really fuck Cole up. He's totally into her.” What would happen to him if it was and he found out? He'd implode. He'd completely lose it.

“I know. He's so raw, such a rookie. She could crush him just by thinking about it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Unlike you, lover boy,” I teased. “Speaking of that, when's the last time you got laid?”

He got really uncomfortable, which kind of surprised me. I'd seen him making out with lots of women; I just assumed he'd closed the deal. “Does it count if I was all by myself?” he joked, throwing out humor to deflect the issue.

“Dude, you don't need to do that. Just ask me. I'll help you out,” I said and flashed him my smile. He gave me his cute little grin back.

“I'll keep that in mind,” he said. “You're pretty busy though.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, probably too defensively.

“Forget I said anything.” He tried to blow the whole thing off.

“It sounded like you're basically insinuating that I'm a slut.” I stared hard at him.

“I didn't say that,” he said. But he didn't say that I wasn't. I paused to think about that. He was right. I kind of was.

“You probably should have. It's true,” I admitted. “I like sex. I like to fuck. I figure that as long as I'm safe, which I am, why not?”

“So if you drop your pants for everyone, what happens when you find someone special? Like that Cody guy you were with,” he said. Was he jealous? Fascinating.

“You want the whole story on that?” I asked probably a bit aggressively.

“Only if you want to tell me.”

“I care about him. He's important to me, but that's it. Besides, even if there was the potential for more, he's 400 miles away. Plus he's with Brian now anyway.” I tried to sound all matter-of-fact about the whole thing, but I wasn't sure if I pulled it off.

“That dude is a bitch,” he said.

“Yep.” Couldn't argue with that. “But to answer your question, there's sex, where you fuck just to blow a load, and then there's sex with someone you care about. That's so intense it's surreal.”

“So you just go around and fuck anything that moves instead of beating off,” he said. He was teasing me now.

“Hell yeah. Keeps my hands from getting blisters,” I joked. “You ever been in love?”

“Yeah,” he said. I just stared at him, almost forcing him to open up. “I dated her in high school, did the whole prom thing. I was more into her than she was into me.”

“You're full of shit,” I said.

“About what?” he asked, pissed off.

“What girl in her right mind wouldn't cream her panties over you?”

“Julie wouldn't, that's who,” he said, but gave me a cute grin anyway.

“Did you have sex with her?” I asked.

He really blushed now. “Yeah, but not all that often. She's a southern girl, a good one. She seemed to think it was some sort of sin.”

“Is she the only girl you've been with?” He stared at me, really freaked out by that question, which told me the answer without him having to say anything. “It's cool if she was. If I can be a slut and you can be cool with that, you can be damn near virgin and I'll be cool with it.”

“You gonna tell everyone now? They'll think I'm some sort of freak,” he demanded, paranoid. That burned me to the core, it really hurt me that he would think I would betray his confidence. What had I done that would make him think that? When had I not been a good friend? I sat there, trying to figure out what to do. I was worried if I said something, it would be prefaced by the words 'fuck you'. “Matt, I'm sorry. I know you won't say anything. I'm just a little paranoid,” he said quickly. No shit.

“You're my friend. You've got my back, I've got yours,” I said simply. We finished eating our cardboard and he headed off to class while I went back to my room. I walked up to Lag at the same time Amber was walking in, so I held the door open for her like a gentleman.

“Why thank you,” she said coquettishly.

“My pleasure,” I said.

“So what are you doing right now?” she asked with that same tone of voice she'd used the first time we hooked up. She was hitting on me. Shit.

“Got some studying to do,” I said.

“You want some company?” she asked.

“You'd be too distracting,” I said, flirting with her.

“So. That never bothered you before.” She cocked her head when she said it.

“That was before you and Cole got together,” I told her.

“Is this because I don't have a dick?” she asked me in a really nasty tone.

“No, it's because you're with a really good friend of mine, and if you fuck around on him, you'll destroy him. And I'm sure as fuck not going to be the guy that's part of that plan.” I couldn't keep the contempt out of my voice. She shot daggers at me with her eyes, turned on her heel, and stomped down to her room. She was going to be trouble. I headed back to my room and fired up my computer. I had a history paper that was going to be due in a week, and I was determined to knock it out and do a good job. How shitty would it look to have my professor tell JP that I was a total fuck up?

“You've got mail,” the computer said to me as soon as it booted up. I looked at the messages and saw there was one from Mummy. She'd become an e-mail junkie.

Dear Matt,

It sounds like you have been so busy lately. It makes me worry that you're pushing yourself and your body too hard. I hope you're taking care of yourself.

I still don’t understand why you felt you needed to go up to Wyoming for that poor boy's funeral. That was such a tragedy, to see that young man tortured like that. Still, I can't help but think that by soliciting men for sex in that bar he brought this on himself. I hope you will be careful. What will people think if they see you spending all your spare time with gay men, and then you fly up to attend that gay boy's funeral?

Professor Crampton invited us to come out there for Thanksgiving, and your father and I think that might be a good idea. That will be less wear and tear on you, and the weather will be much nicer. Only a little over a month until we get to see you!

Love,

Mummy.

I just stared at the screen, all these different emotions flying through my body, but none of them seemed willing to settle in place like a conclusion. So instead I swayed primarily between rage and confusion. I hit the print button and sent the e-mail to my laser printer, then stuffed it in my pocket.

I forced myself to focus on my paper, or I tried to, but it was no good. How could these people that I loved, how could they be so callous? Matthew deserved to be beaten to a pulp and left for dead because he picked up a guy in a bar? Is that even what happened? It was so wrong, so unfeeling, and so horrible that I couldn't believe words like that would come out of her fingers. It was so hard to love people that hated so much.

I put my head in my hands, trying to figure out how things could get any worse. Cody dumped me, my parents were insensitive fag-haters, Danfield thought I was a cheap slut and didn't trust me, while Cole's girlfriend was begging me to fuck her. Just then the door flew open and slammed into the wall, scaring the shit out of me. I jumped like 20 feet into the air, and only when I stopped freaking out did I turn to see Cole standing there, enraged.

I'd never seen him like this. His eyes were sparkling with fury, his nostrils were flared, and his fists were clenched. And there was absolutely no question that he was directing all of this rage at me. “What the fuck is your deal?” he yelled. Cole yelled?

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, keeping my voice firm but calm.

“Tryin' to fuck my girlfriend, that's what I'm talking about. I thought you were my friend, you piece of shit!” His voice was loud enough to attract people from the hall. Not only that, he'd picked up some sort of hick twang accent now that he was losing it. Now he was starting to piss me off.

“I didn't try to fuck your girlfriend, she hit on me and I said ‘no thanks’. I never so much as touched her. All I did was open the front door for her.” I figured the odds were about even that I'd have one of his fists in my face any minute, so I braced myself, getting ready to jump out of his way.

“So now you're callin' her a liar? That's fuckin' rich coming from you,” he said.

He'd finally pissed me off enough to short circuit my common sense. “I'm not only calling her a liar, I'm calling her a whore,” I said. “After you're done yelling at me, you'll have to go yell at Marc Holden. She fucked him while we were in LA.”

He got this really strange look on his face, and his anger seemed to subside. He just looked at me like I didn't exist. “You are dead to me,” he said coldly. Then he grabbed a few of his things that were still in the room and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. All I could do was stare at it.

Amber was a bitch, a fucking cunt. She'd do this, and then she'd escalate things and start spreading more shit about me. How did a guy fight against a hot girl? I sat in my room, feeling completely trapped. I heard voices in the hallway outside my room and heard my name being mentioned. Then I heard giggling. I wanted to get the fuck out of there, to escape, but I didn't want to walk the gauntlet of idiots. Instead I sat on my bed, my arms wrapped around my shins and my face against my knees, trying to figure out why the last week had seen my life turn to shit.

There was a knock at the door and it opened slowly. “Go away!” I said.

“Dude, it's just me,” Danfield said. “Can I talk to you?”

“Why not?” I was so pissed off and so despondent I figured there was no reason to be nice to anyone.

“What the fuck happened?” he asked as he sat on Cole's bed. Correction, the bed that used to be Cole's.

“Amber tried to get me to fuck her. I told her no. I mean, she's with Cole and he's my friend. There's no way I'm doing that to him. So she got all pissed off and told him that I was the one that hit on her, so now he thinks I'm scum. That's the Reader's Digest version.”

“Stupid cunt,” Danfield said. “We'll ruin her fucking life.” I looked up at him, totally surprised to have someone in my corner. Now there were more emotions. Guilt, for doubting him. Happiness that I still had at least one friend.

“Want to get out of here?” I asked. “Let's go grab dinner at Escorial.”

Danfield smiled. “You mean real food? Like the kind that comes from natural sources and not recycled cardboard?”

“Yeah, that kind,” I said smiling back at him. We walked out into the hallway and there were a couple of girls there. Ashley Cooper was one of them, another slut that hung out with Amber.

“So Matt, I hear you're looking for love,” she said giggling.

“Not love, just a fuck,” I said to her with a leer.

“Don't look at me Casanova,” she said, and her friend giggled.

“Don't worry. You're like Star Trek.”

“Oh yeah? How am I like that?” she asked in her smart ass tone.

“Fucking you would be like boldly going where every other man has been before,” I said. Danfield started cracking up, and even her friend giggled. She just gave me that dagger look.

“You running away?” she taunted.

“Nope. Going to see my grandfather. I hope you and your slut friend aren't history majors.” I winked at her and we left the building, then the campus. Her friend that was giggling looked a little worried. Good. We hopped into the GMC and started to head up to Escorial. It was almost 7:00, so I had to drive like a fucking madman, and then we had to sprint through the front door. We came clattering into the dining room just as the gong of the clock stopped.

“You made it,” Stef said, smiling. “And look, you brought a cute boy with you. Come sit next to me Wade.” Stef patted the seat next to him suggestively. It took me a second to realize he was talking about Danfield. None of us ever used his first name.

“Cool,” he said and hustled over and gave Stef a kiss on the cheek. He'd grown used to Stef, and was learning to flirt with him.

“So what brings you home?” JP asked. Home? This was my home? That was flattering, and reassuring.

“Everyone else hates me, so I figured I'd come up here and see if I could drum up some more enemies,” I joked.

“Unlikely,” Frank said.

“Well Matt, my day has been decidedly dull,” Isidore said in her smooth voice. “Perhaps your tale of woe, while sure to be sad, will at least be interesting?”

“Alright. First of all, my best friend on campus tells me that he can't trust me to keep a secret,” I said staring at Danfield. He freaked out for a minute until he figured out that I was kidding.

“Dude, all the guys kept saying you had a really big mouth. How was I supposed to know they weren't talking about you not being able to keep secrets?” JP actually almost spit out his wine at that, while Stef laughed uproariously.

“I have a big mouth too,” he said to Danfield, flirting.

“Stefan, please quit molesting my guests,” Isidore teased. “Do not make me send you to your room.”

“But I am so much more charming than JP's other boyfriends,” Stef said.

“That Whist guy was pretty entertaining,” Frank said. Isidore and Stefan cracked up, laughing so hard they were almost crying.

“I do not see why we have to talk about my prior love life,” JP groused.

“Oh JP, don't be so stuffy,” Stef teased. “Tell us about alone time with Benjamin.”

“You mean Professor Whist?” Danfield asked. “I've got him for Philosophy. He's as dry as dust.” Stef and Isidore lost it, both laughing so hard they couldn't stop. JP glared at them furiously, but that only made Frank laugh too.

“It appears that you brought your bad luck here and left it on my doorstep,” JP said.

“I'm sorry about that JP. So did you date Professor Whist?” I asked innocently. But it was hopeless. I couldn't keep a straight face, and soon Danfield and I were laughing our asses off too. Even JP started chuckling.

“Well I was until Stefan chased him away,” JP said, pretending to be irritated.

“He did not appreciate my sense of humor,” Stef said indignantly.

“That's because he doesn't have one of his own,” Danfield said. And that was how dinner went. I just put my problems aside, enjoyed their company and had a fucking blast. I didn't broach my sob story until we were done, eating sorbet and drinking a really smooth port.

I pulled out the e-mail from my mother and handed it to JP. Everyone else just chattered on, but I saw his facial expression change as he read it, much the same as mine had. He went to hand it back to me but I motioned for him to pass it to Stef. Stef stopped gossiping with Isidore and picked it up light-heartedly. He was a fast reader, so his visage changed quickly. He passed it to Danfield, and then to Frank and Isidore. I'd managed to completely ruin the mood, and I felt like a schmuck.

“Sorry to throw such a downer on what was an amazingly fun dinner,” I said apologetically.

“We are here for you,” JP said simply.

“How do you love people who have so much hate inside them?” I asked plaintively.

“You have to have hope,” JP said. “You have to hope that ultimately they can change, have to hope they can learn to become more accepting.”

“It seems to me JP that you and Matt are in the same situation,” Isidore said with a slight smile. “He has parents who are assholes, and you have a half-brother who is an asshole as well. Personally, I would bank on the Carrswolds reforming before Brian.” JP had relaxed enough about the situation for us to all laugh.

“Cole hates me,” I said, dropping the other shoe.

“Why does he hate you? You are surrounded by cute men and you cannot get along with them?” Stef asked, keeping my miserable life a little lighthearted.

“He thinks I hit on his girlfriend. She tried to sleep with me, I turned her down, so she got mad and told him that I came on to her. So now he hates me. He told me I'm dead to him, and I've never seen such a scary transformation as that. It was like he went from rage to total apathy. He looked right through me like I wasn't there.” That I said this without shedding a single tear took an enormous amount of self control.

“That problem is easier to solve,” Isidore said. “I know her type, bitches like her. They are scheming and manipulative, yet have no morals or scruples at all. But the saving grace here is that she cannot hide who she is forever. The solution is patience. He will catch her, and then her web of lies will unravel.”

“Then you will have to decide on how much of a penance you should make him do to get your friendship back,” Stef added. “Assuming you want to still be his friend.”

“I actually feel kind of sorry for him,” Danfield said. He looked at me earnestly, trying to tell me that he was still on my side. “He finally meets a girl and falls in love, only he picked a class-A cunt.” He looked at Isidore. “Pardon me.” She just giggled.

“I do too, but it pisses me off that he doesn't trust me,” I said. Danfield looked at me, about to say something, but he stopped. “What?” I demanded.

“If you'd heard that Konrad hit on her, would you have believed it?” he asked me.

“Probably, until he told me it wasn't true,” I said.

“Why?” JP asked.

“Konrad has a reputation for being a slut. He'll pretty much do anyone, so it doesn't shock anyone,” Danfield said.

“Kind of like Stefan,” JP said, making us all chuckle.

“So you're saying that my slutty ways are backfiring on me?” I asked him, and not in a friendly way. He nodded. I thought about that. He was probably right. It was totally conceivable that I would hit on a girl in the dorm. Probable, even. And it took some balls for him to tell me that. “You're a good friend Danfield.” He grinned to thank me. “But I wouldn't do that to Cole. Even now I wouldn't fuck him over by sleeping with someone he was in a relationship with. I would have thought he'd give me the benefit of the doubt.”

“Love is blind,” Isidore said.

“I do not think he can afford to believe you,” Stef said. “He has too much of himself invested in her. He has to buy her story for his own survival. It is only when he is faced with incontrovertible proof that he will have to consider whether she is a whore.”

“Man, I wish I had a place like this where I could go and get awesome advice and a great meal,” Danfield said, pouring on the charm.

“You do. You are welcome to come visit us whenever you like,” Isidore said graciously.

“And if you are more comfortable talking while lying down, I can help you with that too,” Stef said. JP shook his head while the rest of us laughed. We said our goodbyes after that and headed back to the dorms. Fortunately there was no one wandering the halls, so I was able to walk to my room without getting shit from anyone. Danfield went back to his room, leaving me all alone in my space. The first thing I noticed when I walked into the room was that Cole had removed everything that was his. The desk was bare, the bookshelves were empty, and the bed was just a bare mattress. It was so depressing all I could do was sit on my bed and put my head in my hands.

I'm not sure how long I sat like that, but I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Danfield came in cautiously. “Why are you so nervous?” I asked.

“I figured a horn dog like you jacks off all the time,” he said, smiling.

“Yep, but you can watch,” I joked. He blushed slightly which was really cute. “What do you want anyway?” I asked him in a pleasant tone so he knew I was kidding.

“You remember earlier in the semester how we talked about swapping roomies? Where I'd move in with you and Cole would move in with Cramer?” I nodded. “You still willing to do that?”

I was going to be all hard and make him sweat, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling. “You're willing to risk living with me, putting up with my creepy advances and my sordid reputation?”

“I am,” he said, as if he was swearing an oath.

“Well then I'm up for it. Sounds awesome.” He spent most of his time here anyway, so this would just make it formal. “I'll help you move your stuff.”

“Cole's down there and he's still in a major pissed off mood. Cramer and I can handle it,” he said. I knew I did a bad job of hiding how sad that made me.

“I need to talk to Turner about all this shit. I'll be back in a bit.” That would remove me from the situation, and make it easier for him to move around. I walked out of Lag and dialed Turner.

“What up?” he asked.

“It's Carrswold. You got a minute or two? I need to talk to you,” I said.

“Sure. You know where we live right?” He had an apartment with Gillespie and LeBrand off campus. They gave me the address and brief directions. It was in a kind of crappy part of town, in East Palo Alto. It was just a simple house with three bedrooms. The guys were hanging out in the living room watching hockey on TV.

“Hey,” they said. I said “hey” back, and then the other two ignored me.

“I'll be back in an hour. Carrswold's gonna blow me,” Turner said.

“I'm next, eh,” Gillespie said. I shook my head and followed Turner to his room. A typical guy's room. Queen sized bed, a desk, a dresser, and a few lame posters on the wall.

“What's on your mind?” he asked.

“You know that chick Cole's with?” I asked.

“Amber the skank?” he asked.

“Yeah. I was walking into Lag today and she hit on me, wanted me to fuck her. I turned her down. I mean, she's with a friend of mine and I don't play that game. Pissed her off, so she told Cole I tried to fuck her.” He rolled his eyes. “So he freaked out, told me I'm dead to him, and talked Danfield into changing rooms with him.”

“You freshmen are so fucking stupid. No pussy is worth that,” he said. “Especially not a skanky ho like Amber.”

“I know that, you know that, but Cole's in love, and he believes her. He can't stand to be in the same room with me,” I said.

“This is gonna be great for the team,” he said, pissed off.

“He's a good guy, he's just in love. He fell for a cunt,” I said.

“I'll talk to the boys. We'll have to work it out so you guys can be at least cool on the ice and in the locker room,” he said. “Don't stress about it.”

“He doesn't trust people easily. It's really hard to lose someone like that,” I said morosely.

“Speaking of hard,” he said, making us both laugh. I'd been so focused on Cole and his drama I hadn't really even noticed Turner's form, how hot he looked in just a t-shirt and gym shorts. It was like lightning. Our eyes met and I knew what he wanted, what we both wanted. I pushed him back onto the bed and pulled off his shorts, then swallowed his still-soft cock. I loved doing that, taking a guy into my mouth when he was still soft and working him up to full hardness. He was really getting into it, but I wanted to give him a good ride so I pulled off his dick and started licking his balls. All of us shaved, so his were nice and smooth. He was kind of into it, but not really, so I moved lower.

I got to the point where I had to pull his legs up to go lower. I wondered if he'd let me. He did, he totally did, pulling his legs up and letting me push them back, exposing his taint, then his hole. He must have just showered, because he smelled really clean. I dove in and had a blast. He was enjoying it a lot, and I loved to rim guys who were into it. Finally he got so worked up he lost patience. He gently grasped my hair and moved me back up to his dick, which was now hard as a rock. I'd lubed his ass up with what seemed like gallons of my spit, so I paused to really wet my index finger, then started sucking him again.

He was moaning now, really moaning. This was my opportunity. I took my finger and gently pushed it into his ass. He fought me at first, but he was too worked up to shut me out. I felt him give in and then my finger slid in. I think he was just trying to ignore it while I blew him. I laughed to myself. That was about to change.

I probed him gently, getting a feel for where my finger was, and then moved around until I found his prostate. The changes in his movements were instantaneous. He lost it. I sucked on his cock like it was a big bomb pop, while my finger sent him into orbit. I could tell he was close, both by his movements and by how much he was leaking. I felt his hand on my head now, not to jam his dick down my throat, but to encourage me. I felt the first spurt as he started to blow and I pushed his cock to the back of my throat, trying not to choke while I swallowed his load right down my gullet. He shot forever.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked me after he was done panting. He had a huge grin on his face.

“Seems to me I promised to rock your world. Did it work?” I asked, sounding almost like a slutty girl.

“Fuck yeah. I think you should move out of the dorms and move in here. We'll keep you busy,” he joked.

“You need a rerun, you just call me. You're a lot of fun,” I said. Sensing that I probably should leave, I tried to do it gracefully. “I should get back to the dorms.”

“Thanks man,” he said. “And don't worry about Cole. We'll explain things to him.” Whatever that meant.