Bloodlines - 28. Chapter 28

October 23, 1998

“You were a rock star tonight,” I told Danfield as we stood by the keg filling up our cups. “A goal and an assist. Fuck, they don't need me at all.”

“We need you, dumbshit. We were really pumped to win this one for Cole,” he said. It was amazing, the degree that the team's devotion to Cole had motivated them.

“You think the coach will let him play again?” I asked.

“Turner said that your plea, along with the rest of the team backing you up might sway him. He hasn't said anything to the league yet; the hit was in practice, so he could probably get away with handling it internally,” Danfield said. I'd been almost on my hands and knees tonight, begging the coach to let Cole come back.

“I hope they just forget the whole fucking thing,” I said. Brittany, the chick I'd already fucked, and her friend Shelby came up to the keg. “Some beer ladies?” I asked, flirting. I looked at Brittany knowingly, remembering how good she'd felt, and she blushed.

“You looking for a man or a woman tonight Matt?” Shelby asked, teasing me.

“I haven't figured that out yet. You volunteering?” Danfield rolled his eyes.

“Not me, I like guys with brown hair,” she said, giving Danfield a slutty look. He looked uncomfortable but hid it well. I felt an entirely different emotion: jealousy, but I played on it.

“Me too,” I said, leering at Danfield and cracking the ladies up.

“I heard about what Amber did to poor Cole,” Brittany said. Part of me wanted to talk about it, to make people understand about Cole, but the other part of me wanted to leave the whole traumatic incident behind for just one night. I'd tortured myself about it, agonized over it, wondering what I could have done differently. My psyche needed a rest. Brittany was kind of a buzz-killer anyway. Leave it to her to pull us out of a pleasant flirtatious interlude. If she wanted to know why we'd only gotten together that one time, this was why. “That is just cruel.”

“She gives all women a bad name,” I said. “When he gets better, he needs to find a girl who appreciates him.”

“Every man needs a woman who appreciates him,” Shelby said, responding to my prompt and returning us to our playful banter.

“Not Matt,” Danfield said, giving me shit and cracking us all up. We hung pretty much together, Danfield and I, drinking like fish and enjoying the party. It was amazing how fast the story of what happened with Cole had flown around, and even more amazing how much people really seemed to dislike Amber. I gave up on my plan to have an evening free of discussing his suicide attempt.

“Damn, I figured she'd have some people on her side,” I said to Danfield. She'd always seemed pretty popular to me, with her own large cadre of friends.

“I think people will put up with games and shit from a hot chick until she acts like fucking Heather Locklear on Melrose Place. A dude almost offed himself over her; what guy wants to be next?” he said. “And none of the women really like her. She's a total slut, and that means they can't trust her with their men.”

“You got this shit all figured out. It's fucking amazing,” I said. He looked at me strangely and I remembered to change my expression so I wasn't staring at him with hero worship.

“It's all politics, and that's what I grew up with,” he said. “Only here you have skanky hos instead of senators and congressmen. Come to think of it, it's pretty much the same thing.” We cracked up.

“So's that what you're going to do?” I asked. “Be a senator like your father?”

“Fuck you,” he said, pissed. “I don't want to be like him.” The venom in his voice was a little scary.

“Dude, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. I meant: are you going to be a politician?” I didn't want him to be mad at me; I couldn't handle it if he was mad at me.

He relented, like he understood I wasn't trying to bust his balls. “It's cool. I doubt I will. I'll probably just be a regular lawyer.” That seemed to disappoint him.

“Why not? You seem to love politics.”

“Because of his supporters. He's got this virulent base of conservative Christians, and I'm not going to kow-tow to those scum balls like he does. If I go into politics, I have to be part of the GOP, and that means I have to cater to them, and there's no fucking way I'll do that.” He was pissed about it.

“It's a dynasty thing, like the Kennedys?” I asked.

“Dude, my family has been in politics for two hundred years. The Kennedys are nouveau posers,” he said, kind of joking, kind of not.

“My mother is gonna fucking love you,” I said, cracking him up. “I don't get why you have to be a Republican though, or at least one like him?”

“Because it's a family thing,” he said disdainfully.

“Your ancestors were Republicans and you lived in Virginia? I find that hard to believe, unless you're a carpet-bagger.” He almost got pissed at that, and then blew it off.

“You make an interesting point,” he said. “I should do it, run on the Democratic ticket. That would frost my old man's balls.”

“You really don't like him? He's your father,” I asked more than said.

“I don't dislike him, I truly hate him,” Danfield said. “But I'm kind of stuck with him, so that's how it is.” I was going to ask him what it was about his father that pissed him off but we were distracted when the entire party went silent. We looked around frantically, wondering what the fuck was going on, until we looked at the entrance. There was Amber, and with her was Gilchrist. How typical that he'd pick up on her now that she was at her social ebb. She wouldn't have given him the time of day before. We watched, amazed, as no one said anything, we all just stared. She froze in her tracks and put her hand to her throat, as if someone was choking her. The girls nearest to her pointedly turned their backs to her, and there were low murmurs of ‘bitch’ and ‘cunt’ from the guys. She looked like she'd been stabbed. Her hand fluttered and she put it on Gilchrist's shoulder, then turned and left. Gilchrist didn't look bothered at all. As long as he got laid, he wouldn't give a shit.

“Dude, that was awesome!” Danfield said, high-fiving me. “She was totally faced.”

“She'll recover her rep. In a few weeks she'll be back causing trouble,” I said cynically.

“No fucking way. I've never seen that before. She's gone. She's out of here,” he said. One could only hope.

We drank and drank and drank and had an absolute blast. Somewhere along the way I noticed that I was totally attached to Danfield. Where he went, I went. It was almost like we were a couple. I started to freak out a little bit, worrying that I was stalking him and that I'd totally freak him out, so I eased up and stopped following him around. He wandered off and I felt alone and sad. I couldn't stop looking at him, at his handsome face and his smooth moves. Then he realized I wasn't there and I saw him looking around until he found me. When he saw me he got a big smile on his face and worked his way back to my side.

“Where'd you go?” he asked.

“I didn't want to cramp your style,” I said.

“You're just trying to get rid of me so you can go get laid,” he joked.

“Nope. I didn't want you to think I was stalking you,” I said, probably too earnestly. He took it in stride.

“I'm gonna head back to our room and pass out,” he said.

“I'll go with you,” I said.

“You sure?” I nodded. I'd never been so sure of something before. “No puck bunnies for you?”

“Nope. Not tonight,” I said with a grin. We staggered back to Lag. We had a really hard time climbing the stairs, which was pretty funny, but after that obstacle, getting down the hall and to our room seemed pretty easy. I closed the door and sighed, relieved that I didn't have to go anywhere else. Or so I thought. Fuck.

“I gotta pee,” I said. He laughed and went with me down the hall to the bathroom. We each stood in a stall and I heard the sound of his piss hitting the water and thought about his dick and how cute it was. I thought about how much I'd like to wrap my lips around his sexy mushroom head, and run my tongue across his slit and taste him.

“You done?” he asked. I looked down and found I was hard as a rock, stroking myself. I stuffed my dick back in my pants and followed him back to the room. “You could have finished jacking off,” he joked.

“Nah, I'll wait until we get back to the room so we can do that together,” I joked. He seemed uncomfortable with that, and I felt bad. He was dealing with my gayness so well, it was really unfair to throw it in his face all the time. We got back to the room and I locked the door. He didn't seem to notice. My clothes came off as I walked across the room toward my bed, determined to land in it before I fell down.

Danfield stood in front of his bed and took his clothes off more deliberately. He was like that, he was so organized. His desk was neat with all his pens and pencils in a holder, his drawers had folded underwear and perfectly matched socks, and he even had a little cap for his toothbrush. It was too funny. He collapsed back onto his bed, wearing just his boxers, while I sat on mine and looked at him. I knew what I wanted; I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anything in my entire life.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said, trying to shake it off, this weird feeling.

“Dude, you're staring at me,” he said, joking.

“Of course I am. You're hot as hell,” I joked back.

“Go to bed,” he said. I wanted to ask if I could sleep with him like last night. It was one of those go for broke moments.

“Can I sleep with you, like last night?” I asked.

“Dude, that was really nice, but I don't want to lead you on,” he said. I nodded and climbed into my bed and turned off the light. I heard Danfield's breathing; the pattern that told me he was sleeping, and for some reason that just frustrated me more. I guess I'd been hoping he'd change his mind and come jump in bed with me.

I was hard as a rock. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep like this. I thought about just lying here in my bed and jacking off, but if Danfield woke up that might really freak him out. I got out of bed, ignoring the dizziness, and headed back down to the bathroom.

I walked in and paused to look in the mirror, vain and egotistical idiot that I am. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I find someone to love? Why couldn't I have that same glow that Stef and JP had, that Robbie and Brad had? I was about to head to a stall and take care of business when the door flew open and John Carullo burst in. He was stark naked except for a towel he was trying to hold around his waist. He'd been at the party earlier, and he was way more drunk than even I was.

“Carullo, what the fuck are you doing?” I asked, laughing. He was a football player, and not just any kind of football player, but a linebacker. That meant he was one big motherfucker. At least 6'5" tall and hauling around over 250 pounds, probably closer to 300, he had dark hair, olive colored skin, and a big Italian nose. This guy was as masculine as it got.

“Carrswold. Taking a shower man. Puked all over myself,” he slurred. He staggered toward the shower, ran into the wall instead, and fell on the floor. I laughed my ass off. He turned and gave me a really dirty look, which scared the shit out of me, then smiled and laughed with me. “Dude, help me out.”

The showers had two curtains. The first curtain covered up a small changing area where you could put your towel and shit. Then there was the actual shower area itself, which was covered by another curtain. I looked up and saw a soap container there and recognized it as Cramer's. “You sure you want to do this?” I asked.

“Fuck yeah. Help me in there,” he said, looking at the shower longingly.

I held out my hand and he took it and I pulled. “Carullo, you have to help. I'll never be able to haul your fat ass up.”

“Pussy,” he said, and pushed off enough to give us leverage. He flew up and right into me. I had to wrap my arms around him to keep him from falling and taking me with him. He felt really hot, like he'd been sprinting around, and really soft, like a big teddy bear. “Let go. I know your deal. You're trying to get in my pants,” he said. I freaked out until I saw the grin on his face.

“Dude, you don't have any pants.” We both started cracking up. I led him to the shower and pushed him against the wall, then went in and turned on the water. I got it to about the same temperature that I liked it. I was about to turn and leave when I felt his big body against mine, pushing me into the water and drenching me and my boxers. “Fuck!” I yelled. He just laughed.

“Help me out,” he said. Only his expression had changed. He had that look in his eye, that look that corresponded to one emotion only: lust. He reached down and pulled off my boxers, leaving me naked, exposed, and hard.

“OK,” I said nervously.

“Here,” he said, handing me the soap. He turned away from me and leaned against the wall, pushing his ass right into me, right into my groin. I started soaping up his back, kneading it in, but that's not what he wanted. He was sliding his ass against my cock, up and down. I moved my hand down and lathered my dick, then rubbed the soap all over his hole. Then I lined my dick up to his ass and he pushed back into me. This wasn't his first dick, that's for sure.

“Ungh,” he grunted. “Fuck yeah. Fuck me.” His ass enveloped me, sucking me in. I started moving in and out of him slowly, with long even strokes, but he was having none of it. “Fuck me, God damn it!” I smiled. If he wanted me to pound his ass, I could do that too. I started really going at it, really slamming into him, and he loved it. He made these primal grunts and groans as he took my dick. This guy was dripping with testosterone. I reached around and found his cock, not entirely hard, but still nice. You'd expect a massive guy to have a massive dick, but his wasn't; probably close to six inches and a little more than average thickness. I stroked him in time to my thrusts, but I'd let myself get too into it, and I felt my load boiling up. Then I came, blasting into him, flooding his ass. It was fucking awesome.

He pushed me out of him, turned around and put his hands firmly on my shoulders to guide me onto my knees. As soon as I was positioned in front of him, he shoved his dick into my mouth. The water poured down his chest and onto my face as I blew him. I got him hard then, rock hard, and he pulled me back up. “My turn.”

I turned around willingly, not that I had much choice. He took the soap and rubbed it on my ass, then plunged right into me. I yelped in pain, and he seemed to like that because it just urged him on. He started pounding me just as hard as I'd pounded him, saying nothing but grunting and groaning. It was uncomfortable since I'd already cum, and I was freaking out because neither one of us used a condom, but this guy could crush me with one hand so I just gave in to his power. I finally heard him groan really loudly, felt his whole body stiffen and spasm as he blasted into me.

He smiled at me sheepishly when he was done, and I smiled back. I didn't try to kiss him; I just finished washing off his body and borrowed his towel to dry off enough to get back to my room wearing just my wet boxers.

October 24, 1998

“You wanna get something to eat?” Danfield asked me cheerfully. I glared at him, willing him to feel as shitty as I did, as hung over as I did. Still, I'd gotten laid last night, and damn, was that fun.

“No. I think I'm going to head down to LA tonight,” I said. “JJ has his first big competition tonight and I wanna see it.”

“You're going to miss our game?” he asked. He seemed sad.

“I saw the one last night,” I snapped. I was pissed at him for not wanting me, and it was irrational. But then, feelings usually were. “I just need to get away from here for a little bit.” Especially if Carullo is pissed and looking for me, I thought.

“It's cool,” he said. He looked disappointed. “Have a good time.”

“You too. There are condoms in my top drawer if you manage to talk Shelby into coming back here tonight,” I joked.

“Like that's happening,” he said. “Later.” He walked out the door, flashing me a look at his cute little ass. I was obsessing over him now, and this would never do. I had to get a grip, had to recover my pride. I headed down to the shower where I saw myself in a mirror. I had a big bruise on my cheek now. Battle scars from hockey action are normally marks of honor, but not this one.

I was drawn out of my pity-party when Carullo walked in again, looking really nervous. “'Sup,” he said.

“Hey,” I said back.

“Uh, thanks for helping me last night. About that...you ain't gonna tell no one are you?” This big stud was nervous.

“Dude, I never kiss and tell. Never.” His whole look, his whole outlook changed. He got a big grin on his face. Damn, he was cute. “But I was wondering if you'd be up for another shower.”

He looked around, as if to see if anyone was in the bathroom, then followed me into the same shower we'd been in last night. I turned on the water and let it run, getting it warm, and felt his big, calloused hand running across my ass. “You got a sweet ass.”

“You wanna fuck me?” I asked in my slutty voice.

“Yeah. I'm gonna fuck your fuckin' brains out,” he said. He grabbed the soap and used it as lube, then lined himself up and he was in me again. I kind of braced myself for a repeat performance of the one I'd had just a few hours ago, but this time it was different.

He moved in and out slowly, nibbling on my neck and behind my ear, telling me how good I felt. We heard the bathroom door open and I figured he'd freak, but he didn't miss a beat. He whispered in my ear. “Shhh. We're gonna fuck with him in the bathroom, just don't make a fuckin' sound.” And that was more erotic than I ever dreamed, the thought that two curtains away from us was another guy, probably a friend of mine, while here I was getting fucked like an old whore. We heard the other shower start and that just fueled us on, knowing that guy would be absorbed in his own little stall. Carullo allowed himself to grunt and groan a little, but I stayed silent. His pace picked up so I started working my dick, and then he came. I felt him exploding in me even as I jerked myself to my own orgasm, but nice guy that he was, he stayed inside me so I could feel him there while I came.

“Um, you know where my room is right? Stop by and say hi, just, you know, be careful.” In other words, he didn't want a fag to be spotted going in and out of his room. I got all pissed off, and then he leaned in and gave me one awesome kiss. Wow.

“Yeah, I'll definitely do that,” I said. I hurried along after that, anxious to get up to Escorial before JP and Stef left and anxious to get some food. When I got there I headed straight to the kitchen, hoping Anna would cure my bad mood and hangover all at the same time. I ran into Stefan. “You look like shit,” he said.

“We need to work on your manners,” I teased. “I had a bit too much fun last night.”

“Then why are you not happier?” he asked.

“Because like a fucking idiot I'm crushing on my straight roommate,” I groused. “I'm hoping Anna's food will cure all my woes.”

“Do not start thinking like that. You will get fat.”

I smiled and lifted my shirt up while I tensed my abs, showing him my defined six-pack. “You think I'm fat?” I watched him swallow lustfully and started cracking up. “Are you going to LA for JJ's competition?”

“I am. We are leaving shortly. You want to join us?” He seemed so enthusiastic about hanging out with me it was really flattering.

“When are you coming back?” I asked nervously. I could not afford to miss classes.

“Tomorrow morning. We have a social event tomorrow evening. One of those tedious faculty receptions that require me to dress like a mortician.” I cracked up.

“Now that I'd like to see.” I wolfed down some food, making sure to hurry so we could keep to JP's time schedule. As it was, he didn't have to wait for me at all. We hopped into the limo and headed to the airport. A quick transfer into the plane and we were on our way to LA.

“I like your friend Wade,” Stef said. He was digging.

“I like him too,” I said. “Too much.”

“What happened?” JP asked, concerned.

“The night we stayed at Escorial we slept together, and he curled up with me, lay damn near on top of me. He had his face buried in my neck,” I said, pointing to where it had hit. “It was heaven. I felt so complete, just holding him like that.”

They smiled, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “So why is that not good?” Stef asked.

“So last night we came back from a party, hammered, and I asked him to do it again and he turned me down,” I said. With these guys I could let my bitterness out, and I did.

“So now you're sad because he doesn't want to cuddle with you?” JP asked.

I gave him a really dirty look, and then I smiled. “You're telling me I'm being an idiot.”

“I would not have used those words,” he said with a smile.

“I might have,” Stef joked. I flashed my abs at him again and made him giggle. “You are always rushing into things. Slow down. Enjoy what you have.”

I mulled that around, thinking about it. He was right. I pushed things, forced them to move faster than they should. “So I should just relax and see if this goes anywhere?”

“I have found that the typical male hates to be chased,” Stef said. “He is also a jealous beast. I would plan accordingly.” After that I slept in the plane and in the car as we zipped up to Malibu.

“I think we should go straight to the arena,” JP said, his voice waking me up. He looked at his watch meaningfully. “We don't have time to go to Malibu and then back before it starts.”

Stef rolled his eyes and told the driver to head to the arena. As usual JP was right. We got there just as the thing was getting ready to start. JP and Stef went to find Brad, Robbie, and Jeanine in the stands but I decided to wander around to find JJ. Instead I ran into Tiffany.

“Well hey there hockey boy. You here to do a few pirouettes?”

“I'll be happy to show you my moves anytime,” I flirted back.

“They're all old and stale, I'm sure,” she said.

“You should give me a chance,” I said, and winked. She rolled her eyes. “You came to my game.”

“There was nothing good on TV.” I laughed.

“You were supposed to be washing your hair,” I observed.

“And as you can see, I did,” she said with a cute smile. “You need to work on your makeup,” she said, teasing me about my bruise.

“Sometimes things get rough,” I said. “Or don’t you like rough?”

She rolled her eyes. “I have work to do. JJ's over there,” she said, pointing down a hallway. I thanked her as I headed down there and found him all keyed up and nervous.

“Hey JJ!” I said enthusiastically.

“Matt! You came to see me? Awesome!” He was so happy and effusive.

“I did. You came to see me; I'm coming to see you. I'm excited,” I said.

“I'm nervous.”

“Bah. Just go out there and pretend there's no one else here. Skate for yourself because you love doing it,” I said. That was how I worked through tough games.

“OK,” he said. I gave him a big hug then headed for the stands. I looked up and scanned the arena until I spotted them. I saw Robbie first. He'd gotten a seat in the same place he'd have sat if it was one of my games. I was about to climb up to see them when I saw another familiar face. Cody was there, sitting off to the side, all by himself, with his blond hair looking perfect, as always. I fought back my excitement but it was impossible. As flawed and fucked up as he was, I still liked him and I still cared about him. Where was Brian? Was he here? I walked up behind Cody and sat down. He didn't notice me.

“What's a sexy guy like you doing in a place like this?” I whispered into his ear. He turned around and gave me his smile, full wattage, and just blew me away.

“I didn't know you were gonna be here,” he said.

“Is that why you came? You avoiding me?” I teased.

“Not a chance,” he flirted back.

“You here alone, or did you bring a date?” My way of asking if Brian was here.

“I came alone,” he said. “No way Brian would show his face here.”

“But you did,” I said.

“JJ is important to me, and I knew he'd want me here even if no one else did.” His tone was sad and bitter.

“What makes you think no one wants you here?” I asked. “Did something happen?”

“Other than Brad throwing Brian out, no, not really,” he spat.

“He was sticking up for me,” I said, reminding him that he wasn't. “His issues aren't with you. So where are you living now?”

“I rented a house in the hills. It's nice, has a great view. Costs a fucking fortune, but I figured what the fuck.”

“Are you happy?” I asked.

“Yeah, I am,” he said, lying. I held out my hand. “What?”

“Come on. You're with me.”

“I'm not going up there,” he said. “They hate me.”

“You've lost your ability to read people. They don't hate you. They'll be glad to see you,” I told him.

“No fucking way.” He shook his head definitively.

“I'm vouching for them. Don't you trust me anymore?” I asked with that sexy lilt to my voice. “Besides, if they're rude, I'll make it up to you.”

“How are you going to do that?” he asked with a grin.

“I'll drag you off to the bathroom and blow you,” I said in my sluttiest voice. “Come on.” I stood up and held out my hand and he took it. He followed me up the steps, so wary, so scared. He had nothing to worry about. These people would not be rude to him in public, even if they wanted to.

Robbie spotted us first, probably because he knew I was there and was looking for me. He headed over to give me one of his big amazing hugs. Why couldn't I find a guy like him? “How awesome that you're here! JJ will be so excited!” Then he moved past me and pulled Cody into the same hug.

“We miss you, bud. Thanks for coming.” I looked at Cody and saw a small tear in his eye. Brad gave me a hug and then headed quickly to Cody, knowing that was the wound he had to heal.

“We do miss you. It's good to see you. Have a seat,” Brad made room for us, letting me sit next to Cody on one side and Robbie on the other.

“You see that, once again, I'm right,” I told Cody, smiling so he knew I was joking.

“Yeah, I got that.” He rolled his eyes. Darius and Will were there too, but they were trying to find things to distract themselves. In the end, the game arcade in the lobby won out easily over the action on the ice.

“After this, we're going out for dinner. We'd really like it if you would join us,” Robbie said to Cody, leaning over me.

“I don't want to impose,” he said. I took his hand and held it, stroking his fingers with my thumb.

“Well that's bullshit,” Robbie said. “You're coming.” Cody just nodded and caved.

JJ came out and he was amazing. I didn't really get how good he was until we saw him with kids his age. He blew them all away. It was amazing how stylistic he was, how elegant on the ice. It was something that someone like me, who spent a whole bunch of time on the ice, could really appreciate. After JJ was done, there were a lot more people left to skate. We couldn't be rude and just grab JJ and take off, so we were kind of stuck there. Still, I'd had enough, seen enough.

“We're going to go get some fresh air,” I told Robbie. Cody looked at me funny, but he followed me anyway, out of the arena and into the parking lot. I walked up to his car and noticed stains on his hood, stains from where I'd shot my load the last time we'd fucked. I pointed at it and started laughing.

“You have acidic cum,” he joked. “It burned through the paint.”

“I'm sorry dude,” I said, but I couldn't stop laughing. “So now every time you get in your car, you're reminded of me?” He nodded. “How did you explain that to Brian?”

“I told him someone egged me.” He reached up and ran his hand through my hair. I had it combed forward and gelled, like everyone else these days, so his touch felt kind of crunchy. “How long are you in town for?”

“Tonight,” I said. “Want to spend it with me?”

I saw the conflict, the struggle as he tried to grapple with where his life was and what was going on with Brian. “Yeah.” I leaned into him and felt his hands drop to my hips, then to my lower back, pulling me in. I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling his head to mine, and then his lips met mine, his tongue found mine, and I remembered why I'd almost fallen in love with him.

He pulled away from me. “Dude, we're in public.”

I laughed. “It's a fucking figure skating competition. You think maybe there's a gay boy or two around?” He laughed at that and kissed me again. I felt eyes on me and broke the kiss long enough to look off toward the back door of the rink. There was Tiffany, watching me with a little smirk on her face. I winked at her and pulled Cody back to me.