Bloodlines - 37. Chapter 37

November 28, 1998

“Dude, you are fucking amazing,” I said as I lay panting and exhausted on top of Lou. I looked at the clock and it was just a little after midnight. We'd fucked for almost a whole hour. He would fire me up, then cool things down, and then fire me up again, until I was nothing more than putty in his hands.

“I am glad you enjoyed yourself,” he said, and gave me a big kiss. Then he looked at me, concerned. “I cannot spend the night tonight. We are leaving tomorrow and I must pack, plus I also must spend some time with Marcel or he will pout all next week.”

I smiled. “Tell him I said thank you for sharing.” Lou had spent every night with me, fucking my brains out and then letting me cling to him for survival. “I don't know what I would have done without you these last few days.”

“I do,” he said cheerfully. “You would have jacked off a lot.”

That really made me laugh. “You're probably right.”

“It has been good for both of us,” he said as he stroked my hair. “I really like you, I really care about you. And you have kept me busy so Marcel could try and ease some of his pain, as well as Max's.”

For a brief second, he had let down his shields and exposed his real feelings. He'd shown me his fear that he was just a rebound for Marcel, someone convenient to cling to since he was in the same city. “Lou, you know you're not just a back-up for him. You're not his second choice.”

“And now, when you are reading my mind, I know it is time to go,” he teased. “It is hard to be sure. But I will not worry about it. I have a good life in Montreal. Marcel is part of it, for now, but that may not always be the case. I can be happy knowing that he and I will always be friends and have a bond few others can share.”

“I wish I lived in Montreal. I'd give him some competition,” I teased.

“You would,” he said sincerely, and surprised me. “But the thought of that is very scary, so now I really must go.” We kissed passionately, a last goodbye, and then he slipped on his boxers and T-shirt and headed back to his room.

I sighed and rolled over on my back, smiling at the ceiling. He really had been wonderful, my lifeline. During the day, everyone had paid tons of attention to me, making sure I knew I was loved. Then at night, Lou came in and took care of me and my hormones, but it was more than that. He had a soothing way, a lighthearted way about him that just calmed the raging emotions inside me. I got up and went over to my computer and logged in to check my mail. I had two e-mails.

The first one made me smile. It was from Carullo, and had a picture attached, a picture of him with his whole family holding up a sign that said “Thanks Matt!” I set it as my laptop wallpaper. He looked so happy, his whole family looked happy. All of his brothers and sisters were looking at him, and his mother, a short, chubby Italian lady, was giving him a big kiss on the cheek. At least he had a mother who still loved him, I thought glumly. I wondered what Carullo's mother would say if he told her he was gay? I looked at them, at her expression of sheer joy at being with her son, and decided that she'd work her way around it somehow. Mummy never looked at me like that.

I swallowed and opened the next e-mail. It was from her. I'd sent her a nice e-mail, asking them if they made it back safely. I got a one word response from her: Yes. No ‘Dear Matt’, no ‘love, Mummy’, no bitching about the flight, and no comments about her visit. Nothing. Just a simple yes. I closed the screen and there on the laptop was the wallpaper I'd just put up, of Carullo and his mother. At least his mother loved him. Then I thought about it, and realized it was even worse than that. I didn't even have a mother. They'd all but written me off.

That seared through me like a shot of tequila. There had been times over these past few days when I felt like being by myself, just to enjoy some isolation, but I'd been surrounded by people who were determined to make sure that I wasn't able to do that. And now when I had it, when I was finally by myself and I was able to think about things, all I could do was think about what I'd lost. My mind flashed back to all those years growing up where my parents had been there. Our trips together, the constant hockey games, the proud looks on their faces when I got good grades, or a goal. The happiness in knowing how happy I made them, that I was a golden child they could be proud of. How could they so easily write me off? Were their feelings for me ever real, or was I just their last-ditch effort to continue the family line? If they dumped me this fast and this easily, maybe they didn't really love me. The pain was truly unbearable. I threw on my sweat pants and walked out of my room, unsure of where to go. I stood there in the hallway, trying to decide whom to inflict myself upon.

Cole would be one choice, but I ruled him out pretty quickly. He was still really weak, or his psyche was. I'd feel like I was draining what little strength he had. Plus he may want to fuck me, and for some reason, that became less and less appealing. That was odd, because he was fun, and he was cute, but somehow being his friend and being his lover seemed like they were mutually exclusive, and I wanted his friendship more than his dick. That, and since he was basically straight, I knew I was just a release valve for him, and that seemed to cheapen our whole friendship. I walked down and paused in front of Cody's room. I heard giggling inside, and that made me smile. I could go in and join him and Max, but they sounded really cheerful, and I didn't want to ruin their good time. Besides, they'd had Marcel with them almost all weekend. They needed a little time alone.

My feet took me another door down and across the hall to Brad and Robbie's room. I listened at the door, wondering if I'd hear moaning. They were pretty loud, so if they were fucking, I'd know it. The thought of that made me giggle a little bit. I stood there for a few moments, trying to decide whether to bother them. It sounded pretty quiet. But I was hurting and desperate, and Robbie was the only parent I had left who gave a shit about me. I knocked gently and heard Brad say ‘Come in!’. It was pretty dark in the room, so it took my eyes a few seconds to adapt.

“Hey Matt. Come on in,” Brad said. Robbie was sleeping, but that woke him up. I walked over to the bed and smiled down at them. Robbie was lying on his back with Brad curled up on his right side. I must have looked like that when I was with Lou. “What can we do for you?”

I looked at them, unsure of what to say. Now that I was here, I didn't really know what to do. They looked so cute together, I felt like I was intruding. Robbie reached his hand out and I took it, and he pulled me over to them and got me to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you guys.”

I made to get up, but he held me there with his hand. “Stay,” Robbie ordered in a kindly way.

“You're not bothering us,” Brad said playfully. “We already fucked.” That was too funny not to laugh at.

“Yeah, it smells pretty rank in here,” I joked. They looked at me, waiting for an answer. “I just didn't want to be alone.”

“Let me show you what I like best about Robbie,” Brad said. “Here. Lie down like I am on his left side.” Robbie put his hand on my back to gently urge me to him. I put my head down on his chest, so strong yet so soft, and just sank into him. It was like one of his hugs. “It's really comfy because he's fat,” Brad teased.

“I am not fat,” Robbie said, irritated. I couldn't help but giggle. Brad's face was right in front of mine, and I could see him looking at me. The expression was one of caring, and one of love. I felt my eyes tear up yet again, and found myself envying his self control. He rarely cried. He leaned in and kissed my forehead while Robbie hugged me tightly.

“Their loss is our gain,” Brad said. “You're one of us now.”

“Damn straight,” Robbie said. I ignored his pun and smiled at them, snuggled into Robbie, and fell asleep.

I'd slept pretty soundly until Robbie moved around and woke me up. I opened my eyes and it was light in the room: morning. Brad was still in front of me, sleeping soundly. He was really cute, with his mouth open and a little bit of drool in the corner where his lips met. I looked down and saw the sheet tenting up from Robbie's morning hard-on. I pulled up the sheet and stared down at his dick and smiled. I could be staring at my own.

“What are you doing?” Robbie asked.

“Looking at your dick,” I said. He chuckled and tried to pull the sheet up, and all the activity woke Brad up. He rolled off of Robbie and his dick popped out.

It was huge. “Motherfucker!” I said. Brad frowned at me and rolled back onto his stomach.

“Knock it off,” he said, still drowsy.

“No, dude, check it out,” I said. I pulled my pants down and pulled out my dick and lay next to Robbie, side by side. They were almost identical. They were both about the same length, a little more than seven inches, and about the same width. I'd always thought my dick was on the narrow side, great for fucking men, less satisfying for women. “Look, we have the same dick.”

It was funny to see these guys struggle with their inner sophomoric male that wanted to look and compare dicks fighting against their older, mature selves that thought they shouldn't do that. They looked. “Damn, nice to know there's a perfect substitute out there,” Brad said.

I pulled my pants up and I let Robbie pull the sheet back up. “I guess if you weren't sure I was your son before, that would pretty much prove it.” He laughed at me. “Damn are you hung,” I said to Brad.

“Yep,” he said, proudly now.

“No wonder you can take a fist in your ass. Not much bigger than that thing,” I said, teasing Robbie. He blushed deeply and that made Brad giggle. I was teasing, but I'd embarrassed him too much. I leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It's not something to be ashamed of. I think it's fucking awesome.”

“Oh yeah, what's so awesome about it?” he demanded.

“Dude, how cool is it that you can push your limits like that. Better than being all frigid and uptight,” I said. “I bet it's a really cool experience.”

Brad smiled at me. “It is, it really is. It took me a little while to really get into it.”

“Why?” I asked. Robbie was looking at him curiously too.

“At first it bothered me that my dick wasn't enough. I mean, like you said, it's pretty fucking big.” We nodded. “But then, after we did it a few times, I realized how special it was. To give someone you love that much pleasure, it's an incredible rush.” He smiled up at Robbie lovingly, and Robbie leaned down and kissed him. They had that greatest love of all: seasoned yet still passionate.

“OK, I'm outta here. Time for you guys to fuck,” I teased. “Thanks for last night. I really felt like I was out in the ocean, adrift.”

“It was nice,” Brad said. “We're here for you, no matter what.” I got up, my sweats tenting, and walked out into the hall. I heard kids running down the corridor and knew they'd be coming around the corner any second. The last thing I needed was for Darius to see me standing there boning. The little fucker would tease me forever. I rushed across the hall and charged into Cody's room without knocking.

The scene in front of me made me smile. Max was flat on his back while Cody plowed into his ass, fucking him with that smooth, steady rhythm he was so good at. “Don't you guys lock the door?” I teased as I shucked off my sweats and walked over to them.

“No fucking way. You never know when a hot guy is gonna walk in,” Cody teased. Max just smiled. He was too focused on getting fucked. I lowered my dick to his mouth and grabbed his head, pulling him onto me. He sucked me eagerly, and I began to pump my cock in his mouth while Cody fucked him, maintaining the same pace. Cody looked at me and leaned forward, kissing me with all the feeling he usually put into it. Just being with him again, just feeling how much he loved and cared about me, was enough to bring me to the edge. I was really wound up, too wound up to last. I pulled out of Max's mouth and broke off my kiss with Cody, then started stroking my cock, jacking myself until I blasted my load all over Max's face. His tongue darted out, licking up the cum that was close to his mouth, and that was so hot I blew even harder.

That really fired Cody up, he must like that, and he started to blow, really pounding into Max as he shot his load. When he was done, Cody just remained still, his dick in Max's ass, and used his hand to start stroking Max to an orgasm. I smiled and gently pushed Cody's hand away and replaced it with my mouth. Max didn't last long, and in no time at all, I was swallowing his load. Cody pulled out of him and leaned forward, alternately kissing him and licking my cum off of Max's face. They were too funny, and too cute.

“We missed you this weekend,” Max said with a smile. What a nice guy.

“Well I'll just have to come down and visit,” I said.

“Bring Wade,” Cody said, and then stared at me upset. I'd sworn him to secrecy. “I'm so sorry. Oh fuck.” He knew what he'd done. Max looked at us, confused and concerned.

“Dude, chill. I know you didn't mean to let it out.” I looked down at Max and kissed him. “Besides, I trust Max.” With all the shit that had happened this weekend, having Max find out that Wade was my boyfriend was penny ante stuff.

“Thanks, Matt. Trust me with what?” Max said.

“I'm with this guy but he's totally paranoid and in the closet. Part of the deal in our relationship is that no one knows except the guys here, and Brad and Robbie. But Cody really helped me when I was getting together with him, so he told me I could tell Cody too.”

“And I was supposed to keep my fucking mouth shut,” Cody said.

“That's an ongoing problem for you,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Max kept his same serious countenance. “Matt, thanks for trusting me. I won't betray you,” he said. I had a feeling hell would freeze over before Max betrayed a friend. I nodded and went back to my room. I needed a shower in the worst way, and I was hungry as hell.

I loved showers, feeling the water blasting into my face and pouring down my body. I did some of my best thinking in the shower too, a double benefit. I thought about my parents, and for the first time the pain wasn't searing, it was just a dull ache. It was the kind of ache that could leave me feeling melancholy, but not the kind of pain that was debilitating, like the kind of pain I'd endured the past few days. Still, I didn't want to be miserable, so I did my best to ignore it, and to try to think of other things.

I pulled on my pants, the same jeans I'd worn yesterday, and pulled out my phone. The message light was blinking. I hit the voice mail button and it dialed the number, and then automatically entered in my code. It had taken me two hours to program the fucking thing to do that when I first got it. “Hey Matt, it's Wade. I hate it here so fucking much I'm coming back early. Beau decided to leave this morning, so I did too. It looks like I'll catch a flight and be in around 1pm. If you get this, pick me up. I'm on American, and I don't know the flight number but it's the one flying in from Dulles. If you can't make it, no sweat, I'll just take a cab.”

I let out a loud whoop, and tore down the hallway. Wade was coming back today! It was 11am now. He'd be here in two hours! Boo-ya! I found Rafael and asked him if he could drive me to the airport, then went in to grab a quick bite to eat. Stef was in the kitchen pretending to eat some Muesli.

“You seem remarkably happy today,” he said.

“Well, the past few hours have been really good. First, I slept with Brad and Robbie last night.” His eyebrows went up. “No, I didn't fuck them, but I did get to see their dicks.” Stef giggled.

“Did Brad surprise you?” he asked.

“Damn, is he hung or what? But you know what was so funny. I have Robbie's dick. They're almost identical.”

He started cracking up. “And how did you find that out?”

“We compared them,” I said, being cheeky. “It was like high school guys in the locker room. I'll bet you couldn't tell the difference.”

“That does not mean I do not want to try,” he joked, cracking me up.

“Then I went in to bug Cody and Max, and ended up fucking around with them. Damn are they hot.” I watched him cringe and move around in his seat. I was turning him on, so I played it along. “When I came, I blew my load all over Max's face. That was the shit! I've never done that before. And it was so cute, Stef, the way Cody licked it all off after we were done.” I was torturing him, and it was funny as hell.

“I need to go find JP,” he said. “Unfortunately, I cannot get up now without embarrassing myself.” The two of us sat there, laughing our asses off. I was so upbeat, on such a high.

“But that's not the best news. Check this. Wade is on his way back. He's coming back early!”

Stef got a big smile on his face. “Now that is wonderful news. Will you bring him here? We would so love to see him.”

“Rafael is going to take me to pick him up. That way we can make out in the limo on the way back,” I said, winking at him. Stef chuckled and shook his head. JP picked that moment to come sauntering in.

“Stef's horny,” I told him.

“So what's new,” he said. “You're in good spirits today. It's a pleasant change to see you back to your old self.”

“Wade is on his way home,” I said. He smiled knowingly.

I finished eating and looked at my watch. “I gotta run. See you in a few hours.” I ran out to the limo, even though I didn't need to, and then got a brainstorm. I went back into the house and snagged a bottle of chilled champagne and a couple of glasses. Rafael set up a bucket with ice to keep it cold. It took a little time to get that organized, and it was pretty fucking lame, but I wanted to try and show him how much I loved him.

We got to the airport and I pretty much ran all the way to the gate. With all of my frantic rushing around, I ended up getting there half an hour early. I didn't give a shit. Wade was coming home. I paced around the gate area, unable to sit still, probably pissing off all the other people there, but I didn't give a shit. Wade was coming home. Some lady dressed like she was a businesswoman kept giving me dirty looks until I flashed my smile. Too funny. The plane landed and I thought I was going to literally explode waiting for it to taxi to the gate. An older guy was standing next to me, and I guess my bouncing around was driving him nuts. He gave me a dirty look until I hit him with my smile too. I was so wound up and so playful, I had to fuck with him a little bit. He looked away, and then looked back, and I raised my eyebrows. That freaked him out and he went to stand somewhere else. I tried not to laugh too hard. I stared out at the runway. Were the fucking pilots going slow on purpose? What the fuck was their deal? Where was the fucking plane? I only had one thing on my mind: Wade was coming home.

The plane finally pulled up to the gate, and then the Jetway seemed to lumber toward it at a maddeningly slow pace. An eternity later the door opened and the passengers started coming out. I figured he'd fly first class, and that he'd be off first, but after the first twenty people walked off, I decided that he'd gotten stuck in coach. People came walking off, person after person, and still no Wade. I pulled out my phone and checked for a message, but there wasn't one. The flow of people started to trickle down to nothing, and then a member of the flight crew came off. They didn't leave until everyone was off, did they?

I felt my spirits sink, and in my current state it was easy to be bipolar and go from being ecstatic to depressed in no time at all. Shit, did I go to the wrong airport? Maybe he was flying into San Francisco? His message didn't say, but since he flew out of San Jose, I just figured he'd be flying back into San Jose. I stared at the phone, willing it to ring, but it didn't. The door closed and I sat down, devastated. This is what I get for letting myself get all excited about something. The crash is terrible when it doesn't work out. Then the door swung open again and an old lady came out in a wheelchair. Wade was pushing her. I jumped up, so spastically my feet left the ground for second. The old lady's family was there to take over, and thanked Wade profusely. How typical of him. He was such a gentleman.

He looked up and saw me and his face lit up to match mine. He rushed over and then he was in my arms, that amazing feel of him and his body next to mine, so awesome, so therapeutic. We just held on to each other, but we held on way too long. “Dude, people are watching. Be careful,” I said, pulling away.

“What do you care about that?” he teased.

“I care because I know it's important to you,” I told him.

He stopped me and turned me so I was facing him, looking into his pale blue eyes. “You're important to me,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you too. God, do I love you,” I said. We walked through the terminal, gazing at each other, neither one of us wanting to really talk in such a public place.

Wade had just taken a carry on bag home for the weekend, so we headed straight out of the terminal. “Where did you park?” he asked as we walked outside. The limo was right in front of us, so I walked up and opened the door for him.

“Right here,” I said. He cracked up as we hopped in. Rafael was there to take his bag and put it in the trunk. I felt the trunk slam shut, then Rafael drove off. I noticed he'd already put the privacy screen up for us. What a great guy! Then I looked at Wade, our eyes met, and we moved toward each other fluidly. I kissed him gently at first, then lovingly, trying to show him with my lips how much I cared about him, and felt the same emotion returned by him. We broke off our kiss and just hugged each other, and I felt all of the emotions I'd suppressed over the past few days rising up and exploding. I felt tears running down my face, tears of joy that he was back, and tears of misery at losing my parents. He held me and rubbed my back soothingly, neither one of us saying anything.

I finally pulled myself together and pulled away from him, taking a moment to wipe off my eyes. Then I smiled at him playfully, pulled out the bottle of champagne and popped out the cork. He cracked up. “Look at you, being all romantic.”

“I'll do anything for the man I love,” I teased.

“Anything eh? He's a lucky guy,” Wade teased. We downed the champagne like it was a shot, and polished off the bottle pretty fast. College had taught us how to drink.

“So what made you decide to come back early?” I asked.

“The only reason I went home was to be there with Beau. He was bored shitless and so was I, so we decided to bail.”

“What did your parents say?” I asked.

“I don't know. We left them a note,” he said.

“You vanished and just left a note?” I asked, chuckling.

“They won't give a shit anyway,” he said callously. “Besides, I thought you might need me to be around.”

“You came back early just for me?” I asked.

“Well, sure. Let's go with that,” he teased. “You seem a lot happier than I thought you'd be.”

“Dude, I was fucking miserable until you got here.”

“So where are you taking me?” he asked.

“Escorial. Might as well go there. It's nice, the food is good, and Stef wants to grab your ass,” I joked.

“So we spend the night there, then head back to the dorms tomorrow?” He had to have his whole life organized. It dawned on me that throwing his whole schedule into chaos just to come home early was a huge move out of his comfort zone.

“Yep,” I said.

“So what happened?” he asked. I'd told him bits and pieces of my whole shitty experience, but neither one of us were big on phone conversations, so I went through everything and filled in all the blanks for him. “I'm really sorry Matt,” he told me. “Just remember there are a lot of people out there who love you. Me first and foremost.”

That could have sounded cheesy, but the way he said it, and the way he meant it, made it beautiful. I hugged him again and just held him, our bodies merging just by being together. Rafael drove through the gates and stopped in front, kind of surprising us. I led Wade into the house, which seemed remarkably calm despite the fact that it was still swarming with people. Lou and Marcel came walking up with their bags right after we walked in. I guess poor Rafael had to pretty much turn around and head right back to the airport. I introduced them to Wade, and then gave them a hug goodbye. I watched Lou walk out, his little ass so perfect just like the rest of him, and thought about what a fun guy he'd been.

“That one dude is fucking gorgeous,” Wade said. “Think he'd be into a threesome?”

I stared at him, shocked. That was way more adventurous than Wade normally was. “Yeah, actually he would.” I tried to think of something Lou wouldn't be into, and couldn't.

“Fuck. Should have come back earlier,” he said, pretending to be pissed off.

“Dude, Christmas. Look forward to it.” He laughed. Then Stefan was there.

“Wade, you are back. And you are as cute as ever!” He went to kiss Wade on the cheeks, but Wade grabbed him and gave him a big hug and planted a kiss right on his lips. It was hilarious to see Stef freak out.

“You and me, later,” Wade said to Stef, winking. Stef just giggled. JP came up and joined our little group.

“Dude, what the fuck has gotten into you?” I asked. “One minute you're paranoid about being out, now you're trying to fuck my quasi-grandfather.”

“I'm just in a good mood, and its safe here,” he said.

“It is,” JP said. “You boys will be here for dinner?”

“If that's OK?”

“Certainly, as long as you're there by 7:00,” he said with his playful grin. “I have to keep my intestinal tract on schedule.” We laughed as we headed down to my room. I paused in front of Cody's room.

“I want you to meet someone,” I said.

“Who?”

“Max. He's a really great guy, and he and Cody are kind of a couple, at least for right now. I kind of let it slip that I you're my boyfriend.” His eyes narrowed at that. He stood there, thinking about it. “Wade, he's a really cool guy. I'd trust him with my life. I want you to meet him, but only if you want to.”

“What the fuck,” he said. I knocked on the door and heard Cody yell ‘Come in’. I led Wade in and found Cody and Max hanging out in just their boxers. The two of them, hanging out like that, looked almost as hot as they did nude.

“Hey!” Cody said cheerfully. “Good to see you, Wade!” He got up and gave Wade one of those greetings where you shake someone's hand and hug them at the same time.

“Good to see you too,” Wade said nervously.

“Max, this is Wade. He's my boyfriend,” I said. Max raised an eyebrow, surprised that I'd bring Wade in to meet him like that. He knew how tense this was for us. But Wade wasn't the scion of an old Virginia family for nothing.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Max,” he said, shaking Max's hand and ogling his body at the same time. Too funny.

“So you're cool with Max knowing about you?” Cody asked.

“Matt says he can trust Max with his life. If he outs me, I'll kill him. So it seems pretty even,” Wade joked. He was so charming it was almost enough to make me puke. But I didn't want to hang out with them; I wanted to be alone with Wade, so I dragged him off.

“Damn that guy was hot,” Wade said as we walked down to my room. “What the fuck was I doing in DC?”

“You want to fuck around with them later, we can,” I said. He stared at me, his eyes wide. Then he got nervous.

“I don't know. I haven't been with many guys,” he said.

“It's up to you,” I told him as I dragged him into the room and locked the door. “For now, I want you all to myself.”

We stripped off our clothes and I couldn't help but stare at him. He was so handsome. To me, he was even more attractive than Lou. I got into bed and he lay on top of me. Our mouths met, our hormones surged, and he started to grind against me. I responded enthusiastically, totally happy with what we were doing, but that wasn't what he wanted. He grabbed the lube and greased my cock, then lowered himself on it, sighing as he did. I smiled up at him and he leaned down and kissed me, and for a moment the sparks flew. Then he did that thing where he nuzzled into my neck and went into a trance, slowly but intently riding up and down on my cock. I tried to pull his head up to get him to kiss me but he resisted, so I just went with it. He came back early for me, he loved me, so the least I could do is let him fuck me while he was in his fucking spaced out mode. After we came, he snuggled up to me like he did that first night in this very same bed, and we clung to each other like two sinking men who had found a floating log.