The Making of a Slave - 5. A Lesson in Humility

About a week after the exercise was completed, I had a dry night. It was the first dry night in years and I was very excited about it. I called Zack and let him know.

“Wow, that’s great! He exclaimed. “Remember though, it will take a while to get totally cured so don’t be disappointed if you wake up wet tomorrow.”

I know,” I replied, '' but I’m pumped about it!”

“Are you going to the pool to play baseball?” He asked.

“Yea, you?”

“Yep, I’ll be at your house in about a half hour so we can ride there together.”

In the summer, Tuesday was usually baseball day at the pool complex fields and we played in the morning rather than after school. Zack lived two blocks away from me and my house was on the way to the pool fields which was about a half a mile away so we’d usually go together.

When Zack showed up, a half hour later, my mom was still out. She had gone to get coffee and I had to watch Peter until she got back.

I walked outside and said, ”Hey, I’ll meet you there. I have to wait until my mom gets back.”

“OK,” see ya later,” he replied.

Mom was late in getting back and by the time I got to the fields they had already chosen sides and had played 2 innings. I had to wait for the next game so I sat and watched. It was going to work out perfectly because they had even sides and one kid had to leave after the first game so I could just take his place.

This was the first time I had to watch so I was annoyed and started to act a little bit like a dick. I started to do and say things to get them to speed up the game so I could play the next one.

I was standing on the first base side on the field yet in foul territory. Each inning while sides were changing the first baseman would take a warm up ball to the field and throw a grounder to each infield player and they would throw the ball back to first. One throw was off and instead of giving it back to the fielder to finish the warm up, I threw it to the dugout area so that warm up would end.

Finn, who was playing first base said, “Andrew, you’re such a dick.”
When they switched sides, another kid Herman was playing first base and went after another ball that was headed towards me. Instead of fielding it and throwing it to him I kicked it further away into right field. It went closer to Zack and he got after it and threw it back and gave me a “WTF” look.

One ball was hit to an overweight kid named Gerald in left field. As he was running in to catch it, I yelled out, “jiggly jiggly” to make fun of his flab. I’m not sure if it was because of what I said, but he dropped the ball and I started to laugh. The play was still live so no one else laughed.

Since we didn’t have an umpire, there were no called balls or strikes. If you swung and missed once you were out and if the pitch was a ball you didn’t have to swing. You’d stay up until you hit the ball or swung and missed. At one point Ian was up and didn’t swing at 5 pitches in a row and I yelled out,” Come on - what are you waiting for - swing the bat.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he retorted.

He took a few steps towards me when Zack, who was in the dugout, stepped out in front and said something to stop it. Ian gave me a hostile look and went back up to finish the at bat.

I made a big deal when another player, Kevin, swung and missed and made out. “Steeeeeeerike three,” I said while making the out-call motion with my hands.

As it turned out, the game was tied after the regular 6 innings so rather than continue to wait and watch I decided to go home. “Ugh, I’m not waiting, I’m outta here,” I proclaimed.

Ian retorted, “but it’s extra innings. It will be over soon and Willy has to leave so we’ll be short for the next game.”

Without saying anything else, I just kept walking straight to my bike and rode home. I didn’t hear from Zack for the rest of the day but I got a text from him later that afternoon:

<Zack> Hey, you want to go to the town pool tomorrow?
Some of the guys from baseball are going to be there
<Andrew> OK
<Zack> Good, I’ll come by at 10

The next morning, Zack was at my house at 10 AM, but like the day before my mom had gone out to get coffee. She got back about 10:15 so we headed off to the pool. I hopped on my bike. Zack pulled out his phone and made a quick call - talking into the phone he said, “I’m at Andrew’s house leaving now to go to the pool. OK, bye.”

“Was that your mom?” I asked. Zack didn’t respond and instead hopped on his bike and we started riding. Something seemed odd but I didn’t think anything of it. It took about 10 minutes to get to the pool.

When we got there we both went into the boys changing room. The pool area of the park had 4 separate locker rooms, one each for adult men and adult women and one each for boys and girls under 16. Zack and I sat on a bench by a locker and started changing. I wore my bathing suit under my shorts so it was just taking off my shoes and shirt. As I was about to remove my shirt, Eddy, one of the baseball friends, came over to us and said, “Hey guys, come over here you got to see this”.

We both followed him across the changing room to the bathroom area. It was an open bathroom area with four regular and 2 handicapped stalls. They headed towards the first handicapped stall. When we got there I said, “What’s up”?

The stall was wide open and Finn, another baseball friend was peeing. Also there were four other baseball friends, Greg, Herman, Ian and Kevin. I asked again, “What is there to see”?

They were all smiling but no one said anything. I looked at Zack, shrugged my shoulders and turned to walk back to the locker. As I took a step away, Eddy stepped in front of me. I tried to step around him but he grabbed and held me. Greg stepped in the way and held me as well.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a raised voice.

Eddy replied, “You can’t leave right now, you have to wait.”

“Wait? Wait for what?” I asked.

“Just be patient,” said Herman, who was also standing there.

Just then Finn finished peeing and came out of the stall adjusting his bathing suit. “Just another minute,” he said.

With that Ian who was still in his street clothes moved to the same toilet in the stall and started peeing. I was confused by the whole thing but was now starting to get worried something was up.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” I asked with more urgency.

“You’ll find out,” replied Herman. Eddy had let up on his grip on me and there was a moment of silence where the only thing you could hear was Ian’s pee hitting the toilet.

Eddy said, “OK he’s done. It’s ready.”

“What’s ready?, I asked in a panicky voice. I made a move to get free but Herman and Greg grabbed me strongly and started guiding me towards the stall with Eddy right by them.

Eddy put his arm on my shoulder and said, “Now look, just be cooperative and it will be better for everyone. It’s going to happen anyway so try to make it easier for us. Otherwise you’ll just make it harder on yourself.”

I still did not have a clue what they were going to do but I knew I had to get away. I started to squirm and move my elbows back and forth.

“Stop it,” said Greg.

I kept trying to move and accidentally hit Greg in the process. Eddy grabbed my arms and Greg retaliated and punched me right in the stomach.

The shot wasn’t that hard but it stunned me and got me to stop squirming. Greg said, “Look, if you keep fighting you’re going to get hurt. Just get it over with and let us do this, I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt.”

“Do what!” I asked again. I looked up for Zack but he had stepped back and was just watching.

Eddy proclaimed, “That’s your last warning!”

I wasn’t sure what to do but I basically stopped trying to get away. At the same time, other people in the changing room heard the commotion and came over to see what was happening. The bathroom area filled up with what must have been 20-30 people.

They grabbed me and moved me, with my feet off the floor to the open stall. The people watching surrounded the stall, some even climbing over the next stall looking down and some climbed on top of the sinks on the other side of the stall also looking down.

They took me inside and changed the way they were holding me, grabbing me by my feet and taking me into the stall right by the toilet.

Eddy said, “Stay still.”

The three of them turned me upside down and guided my head into the toilet. I didn’t move and probably couldn’t have given the state of semi shock I was in. As they promised they were very careful in how they put me in – making sure I didn’t bang my head but they pushed my head all the way in. I closed my eyes as they put me in but not before I saw the dark yellow water. I instantly sensed the coldness of the water as I felt my hair get wet. My head hit the bottom of the bowl and I thought about the disgusting stuff that would have hit that bowl and about how many people would have used that toilet. A strong smell of piss hit my nose. A stale scent that had an ammonia hint to it. It reminded me of the aroma of a public bathroom and having my head in it made me feel dirty and humiliated. My mouth was closed but I can almost taste the piss by what collected around my lips.

The place was charged with excitement and erupted in laughter and cheering as they lifted me and put me in again. The people watching were shouting out different things, suggestions and expressions. I don’t know who said what but I heard different voices call out: “Oh God!” “That’s so gross!” “Oh that’s nasty!” but mostly I heard cheering and laughter.

They held me in position for another minute or so, adjusting me a bit making sure as much of my head that could fit was in, and then they flushed. They maintained the hold until the flush completed it’s cycle and they gently pulled me out and placed me on the floor.

“You’re lucky,” declared Ian. “It could have been worse, I could have peed directly on you.”

“Yea, now you only have to wash your head and shirt,” said Eddy laughing as they walked away.

I overheard one kid say to another, “I took a shit in that stall yesterday.”

Within seconds the entire place cleared out. Even Zack left. One kid grabbed a few paper towels and handed them to me but he left too. My shirt was soaked at the top. I stayed kneeling there for a minute or two then got up, took off my shirt and washed it in the sink. I rinsed my mouth out by cupping my hand to collect water. I put the shirt back on and rode home. I felt emotionally numb.

I felt terrible, probably the worst I have felt in my life. I was beyond a feeling of crying and in a somewhat despondent state. On the ride home hundreds of thoughts were circling through my head. There were so many questions but no answers. Why did they do this to me? What did I do to them to make them do it? Did Zack help them? What role did he have? Did he betray me? Could I get sick from the public toilet? How many people saw it? What do they think? How can I face them in school? Should I report this to anyone? Should I tell my parents? Did I bring it on myself? Did I deserve it? Should I have given up fighting as soon as I did? Could I have gotten out of it if I kept fighting or would it have been worse?

Once home, I put my bike in the shed and laid on top of a lounge chair by the pool. I stayed there by myself thinking things through. I took a swim in the pool and then went back to lay on the lounge to think. I did this for hours and then showered and stayed in my room for the rest of the day.

The next day I replayed the events in my head over and over again and thought about how Zack was involved. I was angry with him but also felt terrible that he didn’t stay with me. Even though he came to the pool with me, he chose to stay with them after the swirly. I felt betrayed.

Almost a week went by without any contact from Zack. I woke up wet each day since the incident, but definitely less soaked than normal. I started to consider that our friendship may be over and that would have to be another fact I’d have to accept as part of the whole incident. The thought of losing his friendship hurt and I thought about texting him many times but I was still too upset.

The next morning, I stayed in bed longer than usual letting my morning pee go in my diaper rather than getting out of bed. A few minutes later, exactly a week since the swirly, I received a text from Zack:

<Zack> Hey, are you ready to talk? I can be over in an hour.

I was nervous and hesitated before I replied. I was still angry with him but part of me was very happy to hear from him. I just replied:

<Andrew> OK