TetRefine

I'm not sure if it has been mentioned but... American Horror Story: NYC was very well done, and hit on so many gay themes that (while taking place in the 80s and being a foreshadow of AIDS) still very much resonate. The last episode left me absolutely terrified and sad. I talked to a lot of friends about it, and what we all found so unsettling was realizing the fact that all the tragedy in the last few episodes would have been us had we come of age in the 80s. It was only by pure chance that we were born when we were, because if we hadn't then all of us would be going into a coffin with them. Something from Hollywood hasn't made me feel that kind of way in a long, long time.

This truly made me sad to hear. Both my parents love his music, and I grew up listening to it from as young as I can remember. When I was younger, they'd go every year to one of his concerts, and I always got dropped off with the grandparents for the night, pissed beyond belief I couldn't go. My dad always promised me he'd take me when I was older, but we never did end up going. I'm truly sad I never got to see him in concert.

But I've found that to be true of all big cities. When I lived in Philly, the gay club/bar scene was thriving. Traveled to LA, SF, Chicago, Miami, and a bunch of other cities, and gay nightlife is still very much a thing. You simply need a critical mass of people. True, New York City often feels like another country when compared to 95% of the rest of the US. The longer I've lived here, the more I realize I don't have much in common with the "typical" American living somewhere in rural/flyover country. I'll have much more in common with someone from London or Tokyo or Sao Paolo then I would with someone from Mississippi or Indiana or wherever.

I mean, that's kind of exaggerated. When I was single, I'd go out with friends every weekend and it was a pretty common occurrence for us to go home with people we met that night (and this was as late as last year). It's still like that now, and hell, at some places you can just go to the bathroom and do it. At least here in New York, the gay-specific night life scene is thriving and not going anywhere.

Lmao, I know who they are, and 95% sure this was taken at Folsom (of which is one of my favorite events of the travel year).

The last time I knew my actual number was when I graduated from college, and it was 10. Nine years later, and that number has increased 25-30ish fold. I go through cycles, sometimes having tons of sex with lots of different people, tons of sex with only a few people, tons of sex with only one person, or any combination. I've spent my entire adult life in big cities with lots of men, and sex is easy, very, very easy. Like it or not, it's a primary tenant of gay culture. I've never felt (and refuse to ever feel) shame for having sex, who I have sex with, what I do during sex, or how many times I have it. I don't attach romantic emotions to sex, and I do it because I like it. It meets a primal physical and psychological need that nothing else can scratch quite like it can. We all also do it to feed our ego, as that dopamine rush of knowing that hot guy wants to fuck you is that cheap, intense natural high we all love. I have a long term partner now, so naturally the large majority of my sexual time is with him. When I do sleep with others, it is almost always with guys who I have already done it with before and I know I have chemistry with. My days of having tons of one-offs with random guys I meet off Grindr or at parties are largely over (and thankfully so).

It was. Ended in 2015, and last time I saw or spoke to him was randomly running into him at a bar here in New York in 2018.

Some of my personal suggestions off the top of my head: Dancer From The Dance, by Andrew Holleran The Lost Language Of Cranes, by David Leavitt Christadora, by Tim Murphy Our Young Man, Edmund White City Of Night, John Rechy Like People In History, by Felice Picano Some Dance To Remember, Jack Fritscher

A really interesting story about a serial killer who picked up men in a gay bar and then brutally murdered them in the 1980s and 90s. Interesting tidbit: The bar where the killer found his victims, Townhouse, still exists today in much the same form it is described as in the book. It's a well known place to find a rich sugar daddy if you're in your 20s or are a higher-end hustler.

I'm sure there were others before this, but this is the first one I really remember, around maybe 1st-2nd grade. I read it probably a dozen times, made my mom buy me every other book about ninjas I could find, and then every other Magic Treehouse Book that had been written up to that point. Luckily, my mom had a blank check for me every time we went to Borders.

I found this site in August of 2009 off of related links on an old porn blog I used to follow as a teenager. I lurked for a few weeks, read some of the stories, and decided to join. I was mostly looking for an outlet to explore being gay in when I had absolutely none of that in the small town I grew up in. I ended up meeting a boy on here through the old chat feature who lived relatively close to where I did. One thing led to another, and we were together for six years before we went our separate ways. I haven't been overly active for the last 3-4 years as life moves on, but I do enjoy browsing around from time to time and seeing what some of the other old heads who've been around since the early days are still up to. I'll probably stick around here till the end of time, even if it's just popping my head in from time to time to look around.

Like mentioned above, random homophobia happens anywhere, even in the most liberal of cities. I remember one time this past winter a friend and I were leaving a warehouse party in Hell's Kitchen at around 5am. Hell's Kitchen is one giant gay neighborhood. We were stumbling down the street, I had my arm around my friend laughing and joking, and we got called 'fucking faggots' by a couple of guys driving by in a car. Does that change the fact that on the whole this is a very gay friendly place to live? No. The only place this perfectly gay utopian fantasy land exists is Fire Island Pines, but that isn't real life, it's a vacation spot for three months a year.

I live in Manhattan, so it's arguably one of the top 3 most gay-friendly places in the USA. There's a thriving and long-established gay scene here, spread out amongst multiple neighborhoods (Hell's Kitchen, Chelsea, and the West Village being the gayest). If you walk down 9th Avenue between 40th St. and 55th, it feels like you're in a big gay town, with tons of gay bars/clubs, rainbow flags, and hot guys walking down the street. You can be publicly affectionate with your partner and most people won't even bother to notice. There's predominantly gay gyms, an activist scene, thriving nightlife/party culture, gay sports leagues, and various other social formations. The gay Manhattan scene also tends to be relatively/straight-up affluent and professional, so you'll often meet people in positions of power in many facets of life. There are very few places where it is easier to be a gay male than Manhattan.

I found this fascinating interview with the said partner, in which he talks all about their life together, both from the 70s when they first met on Fire Island, to their 20+ years together until he died. https://www.thebody.com/article/interview-with-larry-kramer-husband-david-webster

I agree that Faggots was a hot mess, for a whole variety of reasons. It's clear from very early on that Kramer was simply angry that he didn't fit in with "mainstream gay life" of the time in New York. To me, it came across like he always wanted to be "the cool, pretty cheerleader everybody wanted to be around", but he couldn't be that, so he derided everyone instead. Thankfully he was a much better activist/hell-raiser then he was a novelist.