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C S R Discussion Day: Becoming Real By A C Benus

Cia

Entry posted by Cia in CSR- Can't Stop Reading

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This month we featured our newest Promising Author, AC Benus, with his coming out story, Becoming Real. He's been kind enough to share a great interview below, so check it out! Then make sure and share your thoughts about his story or leave any questions you might have for him about his other work as well. He's also going to be here "live" to answer questions back and forth on the blog from 7 to 9 PM, Eastern!

 

Single people often have more time to write. Are you single?

 

- First of all, let me say thank you for giving me this opportunity. To address your question, no, I'm not single. My husband is Japanese, and we have been together since 1992.

 

Do you eat your fruits and vegetables?

 

- Hoho! I am so much better at cooking veggies than meat and fish. For me, sheer bliss is getting down to the farmer's markets on Wednesday and Saturday and seeing what's fresh. I'll buy anything to take home and try out, so yes, I eat my 5-a-day with great enjoyment!

 

Have you ever gone out in public, realized your shirt is on backwards, and just don’t care?

 

- I'm not that kind of person: if I notice it, I will take care of the problem as soon as I'm able. Now, the real issue becomes the times I go out like that and don't notice until I'm back home again at night ;) Yes, that has happened.

 

Name one entity that you feel supported you in your writing endeavors outside of family members.

 

- 'Entity' is such a broadly worded concept…'a being.' Anyone who reads very much of my work will quickly stumble on higher concepts of Love and guidance, so I have those in my work and feel like they have guided the creation of what I wanted to say about my human experience.

 

But 'entity' and 'support my writing endeavors' also makes me think of the collection of essays I wrote dealing with the loss of my dog. He surely helped me be a better person, and I feel blessed that I could mourn for Leporello in a way that may help others dealing with their own grief at the loss of a pet. In that regard, he supported me tremendously.

 

What brought you to GA?

 

- I began posting some of my erotic fiction on xhamster.com, and received generally good feedback. One of my buddies there suggested looking into GA for some of my more serious stuff, so after checking out the competition, I signed onto GA knowing it was the absolute best website out there to support our writing community. Needless to say, I love it here.

 

You write poetry, screenplay, and fiction works. Do you have a preferred writing style?

 

- First thought in my head is to paraphrase that biblical passage about '…render unto Caesar what is Caesar's…'

 

The works generally tell me what to make of them. For instance, I have been toying with a collection of short stories based on the events happening within the 24-hour period of a holiday (one for Valentine's Day, another for Memorial Day, and so forth), and the scope of the Thanksgiving episode has now blossomed so that I can only think of it in terms of being a play.

 

Sometimes a work inspires me to think of it in a different way. My erotic tale, Hair of the Dog, had me going around for weeks thinking about a sequel, and the only way it seemed best to tell the story of those boys growing up and living together in their small town was a screenplay.

 

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

 

- Fear. Fear that my back is against the door time wise; fear that I'll rush and produce something sloppy or unready to be seen; fear that it will be unread even after I put my heart and soul into it.

 

What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author? What has been the best compliment?

 

- LOL, I have been accused of single-handedly trying to keep the tissue industry afloat. Working with Timothy M. has brought into focus for me that I ask my readers to trust me, and sometimes that can be a lot to ask. I strive for emotional realness, and it never occurs me to whitewash. So, Tim has said it better than I can, that trust placed in me will be rewarded in the end, for I don’t have an interest in unhappy endings.

 

That being said, when one very well meaning and well-reasoned person, whom I admire, told me my work "was too good to read" – i.e., caused too many emotions to be stirred up – it saddened me. I suppose what I was trying to say about Tim is that he's helped me see this in terms of readers trusting me a writer; that I may lead them on a perilous journey of the heart, but I will not leave them hurting. Or, at least I hope not.

 

As for taste, hey, some people do not like my prose, some people do. That's all good and I certainly am opinionated with what I think works and does not work in other people's writings. GA is a wonderful community, and everyone seems to be supportive across the board. I love that feature about the site.

 

As for compliments, anytime a reader leaves a personal message or review saying that they can relate to what I've written about, it sends me to cloud nine. I live for those moments.

 

Did any real life events inspire you to write Becoming Real?

 

- All of them.

 

I was 24 years old when these were written. I was living and working in Japan at the time, and in the months following a summer trip back home to STL, I could not forget the real-life incidents that appear in The Willmore Pizza. I had not written fiction centered around the Gay Experience before then, but the bitterness I felt about the cop harassing us in the park left me knowing I must be a Gay writer; the sweetness and true innocence of the encounter with the real-life Nick made me want to document it as best I could.

 

The first of the series actually written was The Meeting in the Park, and from there I went on to write the rest of them. My ability to do this was entirely due to my husband, for he took me to a bookshop in Tokyo that not only sold international books, but contained the first LGBT book section I had ever seen! This was 1992, so I bought a lot, and especially treasured George Stambolian's anthologies of Gay short stories, Men on Men. The pages of this series introduced me to the best of the best of out writers, like David Leavitt, Andrew Holleran, Edmund White, Felice Picano, and many many more. These are still definitely worth tracking down.

 

Were the seven short stories each written for a particular reasons, or is that just how many events the story took to be told?

 

- This is an interesting question. The seven short stories that make up Becoming Real are all chapters of my coming out, but there were other incidents/challenges that did not make it in. When I was figuring out how to convey the overall arc of Josh's coming out, I settled on these seven incidents as the great beginning, middle and end of his journey.

 

In the broader sense, I did this because I wanted each of the short stories to stand on its own and be satisfying for its individual merits regardless of where it fell in the coming out process for Josh.

 

How long did it take you to write Becoming Real?

 

- Honest answer – I don't remember, lol. A matter of months, I suppose. Once you get me talking, you can't shut me up.

 

Do you have a favorite part of the story?

 

- There are several vignettes that flash across my mind: the second moment where Josh thinks Gary is going to kiss him; Josh picking up the photo of Dick's ex; the peanut butter sandwich at the end of Chary; the lying on the hood of his car and talking poetry and love with Billy; the boys' first, awkward kiss. But, if I'm honest, the moments from The Willmore Pizza are very personally special to me: the way Nick flirts with Kyle in the pizza shop; the lending of his jacket to Josh; their lying out under the stars; and especially that moment when Nick exclaims "Oh God, I'll never see you again in my life…"

 

What are your future projects?

 

- Besides having a small piece coming out in the next anthology, I guess this is as good a venue as any to announce that I've been working with another GA author, ColumbusGuy, on a collaboration. For a while I have been refining a concept to create a series of Christmas stories all centered on a particular department store. Eight in total, each highlighting the events of a specific season ranging in date from 1880 to 2006.

 

I am pleased to say that Katie's Sketchbook, the 1976 tale, is more or less done, and CG's characters of Jay and Miles make extended appearances. It will be fun to work with him when he comes to relay the same events for his own Jay and Miles series.

 

Anyway, one down, and now I'm off to tackle the next in the series. I hope that by the holidays I will have at least three ready for posting. Wish me luck!

 

Don't forget to leave your thoughts on AC's story, and if you can make it to his live Q&A time, that will be at 7 to 9 PM, Eastern!

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Timothy M.
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Thanks for the kind words, AC. I guess I somehow trusted you from the moment I met Simon in Judas Tree. :yes: And I'm proud of those rare but epic times I've managed to be a catalyst for crucial matters in your stories.

Oh, and I want to add that apart from being a brilliant author and loyal and caring friend, you are also a helpful editor/beta reader.

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ColumbusGuy
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Wait? What? My first friend on GA, and one of the most thought-provoking writers I've ever met, and one so versatile in his methodology, mentioned me? I'm flattered beyond words that he asked to include Jay and Miles in a segment of his new series--it just seemed such a good fit since both works are set in 1976. I won't give anything away, but I hope you love Katie's Sketchbook as much as I did! Now I have to fret over doing justice to his people when I cover that period in JM...I'm sure AC will be saving my bacon more than once.

I started Becoming Real a long while back, but I got distracted by starting to write my own stuff, and finding other things on GA as well, but I've started it again--this is not to knock it--just saying I skip around to keep fresh, and finding his Judas Tree and B&B stories so quickly put it out of my mind. Rest assured, it's well worth reading and stirred up a lot of memories for me as a gay teen back in that era, if not the same place.

For the life of me, I can't understand why AC doesn't try to break into the world of paper and ink publishing--he's eminently qualified in both prose and poetry!

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Puppilull

One of the reasons I always enjoy reading AC's work, is because if that faith he has in us readers. Sure, his stories aren't always easy and pain free, but neither is life. He trusts us as much as we trust him. He writes (beautifully I might add) life and love itself, not shying away from the uglier sides of us humans.

 

I also liked to get this little sneak peak into his own life. I'm curious by nature.

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Cole Matthews

Wonderful interview! By the way, if you want someone to do a piece for your Christmas collection, i volunteer. I look forward to it.

 

Becoming Real is a very thought provoking story. It is the kind of realization tale many of us can relate to. You are a very gifted writer who I think has much more to tell us.

 

Thank you for all of it.

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J.HunterDunn

Loved the interview and the background information to Becoming Real. Great to see that two of my favourite writers are joining forces.

 

The concept of trust had never occured to me, but the connection Tim makes with Simon in the Judas Tree is so accurate. Have to think about that some more.

 

Thanks, Cia.

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AC Benus

Thanks for the kind words, AC. I guess I somehow trusted you from the moment I met Simon in Judas Tree. :yes: And I'm proud of those rare but epic times I've managed to be a catalyst for crucial matters in your stories.

Oh, and I want to add that apart from being a brilliant author and loyal and caring friend, you are also a helpful editor/beta reader.

Thank you, my dear friend Tim! You came to my work at a Godsend time, and were one of the first to give me in-depth encouragement on the Simon material. I say just at the right time, because you happened along when I was very low and contemplating writing the final two (and very challenging!) novellas of the series. Without your support, both technical and moral, I doubt very much that Unafraid and The Codeword would have been what they are.

 

I've said it before, and I will say it again – I owe you a lot, buddy. Cheers! 

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AC Benus

Loved the interview and the background information to Becoming Real. Great to see that two of my favourite writers are joining forces.

 

The concept of trust had never occured to me, but the connection Tim makes with Simon in the Judas Tree is so accurate. Have to think about that some more.

 

Thanks, Cia.

Thank you, J.HunterDunn! It seems only recently that I lured you into my world of words with Bound & Bound, but in a very short time, you have become such a good friend to me. I enjoy our PMs very much, and your insights are always useful to me as I move ahead with thoughts of what to write next.

 

I know you have read and enjoyed reading Becoming Real very much, so for that I also thank you!

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Defiance19

Hi AC, 

First let me me say, great interview. 

There are a few things I admire about your writing. One being the very descriptive elements. Another, the way each sentence carries weight, and words are deliberate in delivery. Both succeed in drawing the reader into a relationship with your characters, making it a very real experience. There is also a very 'realness' feel to your works. You make us feel, think and examine, and I'm grateful that you share your talent with us. 

 

My question about Becoming Real though is this.

Because of how closely you relate to the story, was there any part of the series that was easier or more difficult to write, and do events that shape your life always make it into your work? 

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AC Benus

Hi, Defiance19. Let me take a moment or two to answer your question, and thank you properly ;)   

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AC Benus

Hi AC, 

First let me me say, great interview. 

There are a few things I admire about your writing. One being the very descriptive elements. Another, the way each sentence carries weight, and words are deliberate in delivery. Both succeed in drawing the reader into a relationship with your characters, making it a very real experience. There is also a very 'realness' feel to your works. You make us feel, think and examine, and I'm grateful that you share your talent with us. 

 

My question about Becoming Real though is this.

Because of how closely you relate to the story, was there any part of the series that was easier or more difficult to write, and do events that shape your life always make it into your work? 

Thank you, Defiance19, for your support. I always look forward to getting your reviews and comments on the various story forums.

 

Your comments about my work are highly complimentary, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Creating realism, an 'experience,' and being emotionally honest are the markers I always strive for.   

 

About what if any part was more difficult to write than others, it was the Billy material. He appears in the final two stories, and as you may have perceived, he has a complex aspect to the way he relates to the world. That includes Josh. That was probably the one part of fictionalizing my personal experiences that was the hardest to face. A poet might say those were the sections where the veil was thinnest.

 

Thanks for a great question!

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J.HunterDunn

I finally get that I'm supposed to pose the quiestions here :-)

 

I'd like to know whether Cast Stones and Becoming Real were written more or less at the same time.

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AC Benus

...and do events that shape your life always make it into your work? 

Haha, somehow I ignored the second part of your question. Ooooppps. You ask if events that shape my life always make it into my work.

 

Yes and no. Naturally, I think every writer pulls from their own set of experiences, and I do too. With Becoming Real, as it was my first concentrated effort to write something worthwhile, and I found that reality would sometimes pull me in a way that was not good for my artistic goals. Sitting down and doing this for the first time as I was, those moments where I could draw on my experiences (as opposed to slavishly recording them) suddenly were setting me free. I hope this is making sense… It's perhaps akin to a form of mediation where the thing you are focused on is not the thing you are experiencing, but the key to unlocking what it truly means.

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Valkyrie
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One thing I greatly admire about your writing is your diversity of form.  You are equally adept at writing poetry, screenplays, and narrative fiction.  Do you find you have a higher comfort level with one vs. others? Is it difficult to switch tacks or do you write what inspires you at the time? 

 

Great interview, BTW.  It's always nice getting to know other authors (and friends ;) ) better.  :)

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AC Benus

I finally get that I'm supposed to pose the quiestions here :-)

 

I'd like to know whether Cast Stones and Becoming Real were written more or less at the same time.

Well, no. The order was Becoming Real, then my first novel, The Round People, and then Cast Stones.

 

I went to Cast Stones as a way to give me time to 'fix' my novel. The form posted here is the result of me finally being able to do that in 2012.

 

Thanks for a great question!

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AC Benus

One thing I greatly admire about your writing is your diversity of form.  You are equally adept at writing poetry, screenplays, and narrative fiction.  Do you find you have a higher comfort level with one vs. others? Is it difficult to switch tacks or do you write what inspires you at the time? 

 

Great interview, BTW.  It's always nice getting to know other authors (and friends ;) ) better.  :)

Thanks, Valkyrie. It's more like an itch. Sometimes I just feel like I want to 'get back' to a form. This feeling tends to creep up on me while I'm in the middle of doing one of the others. For instance, when I was supposed to be focusing on Jack Shaw and his problem in Destiny, I was distracted by thoughts of these Christmas stories I am working on now. Perhaps as I get close to wrapping them up, another 'project' will begin bugging me for immediate attention.

 

I don't know if this happens to you or not, but sometimes I just have to give in a bit. Like when I was writing Destiny, I just let myself have a day to jot down ideas on these Christmas stories. By letting them 'vent' a bit, it allowed me refocus on the task as hand.

 

I wonder if some writers get 'blocked' by not letting themselves think about more than one project at a time. Thoughts…? 

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Valkyrie
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I don't know if this happens to you or not, but sometimes I just have to give in a bit. Like when I was writing Destiny, I just let myself have a day to jot down ideas on these Christmas stories. By letting them 'vent' a bit, it allowed me refocus on the task as hand.

 

I wonder if some writers get 'blocked' by not letting themselves think about more than one project at a time. Thoughts…? 

It happens to me with the prompts and anthologies sometimes.  Even if I have a story I'm working on, sometimes other ideas intrude and I need to get those out before I return to what I was originally working on.  I find it helps me refocus as well. 

 

I can see how not letting those ideas flow would 'block' someone.  It's like they're all fighting for release and damming the river of creativity.  Releasing one releases the others. 

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AC Benus

Wait? What? My first friend on GA, and one of the most thought-provoking writers I've ever met, and one so versatile in his methodology, mentioned me? I'm flattered beyond words that he asked to include Jay and Miles in a segment of his new series--it just seemed such a good fit since both works are set in 1976. I won't give anything away, but I hope you love Katie's Sketchbook as much as I did! Now I have to fret over doing justice to his people when I cover that period in JM...I'm sure AC will be saving my bacon more than once.

I started Becoming Real a long while back, but I got distracted by starting to write my own stuff, and finding other things on GA as well, but I've started it again--this is not to knock it--just saying I skip around to keep fresh, and finding his Judas Tree and B&B stories so quickly put it out of my mind. Rest assured, it's well worth reading and stirred up a lot of memories for me as a gay teen back in that era, if not the same place.

For the life of me, I can't understand why AC doesn't try to break into the world of paper and ink publishing--he's eminently qualified in both prose and poetry!

Thanks, ColumbusGuy. You know how much I enjoyed our collaboration and look forward to continuing it on your end of the storytelling. Plus, I'm hoping to snag some of your many (and avid!) Jay and Miles readers to check out my poor Christmas tale when it posts. I hope you will talk it up some to them for me ;)

 

And of course I mentioned you! It's was too good an opportunity to overlap my Xmas 1976 story with your lovebirds from Ohio. They are the perfect example of young devotion to shake my main character out of his youthfully jaded ways. I'm so glad we worked together on this.

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AC Benus

One of the reasons I always enjoy reading AC's work, is because if that faith he has in us readers. Sure, his stories aren't always easy and pain free, but neither is life. He trusts us as much as we trust him. He writes (beautifully I might add) life and love itself, not shying away from the uglier sides of us humans. I also liked to get this little sneak peak into his own life. I'm curious by nature.

Thank you, Puppilull. You touch my heart with your comments. It's true that I think anyone can approach my work and get something out of it. I do trust that readers are people who do not deserve to be treated as 'consumers,' but as people.

 

Also, thanks for your compliments. They mean a lot to me.

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AC Benus

Wonderful interview! By the way, if you want someone to do a piece for your Christmas collection, i volunteer. I look forward to it. Becoming Real is a very thought provoking story. It is the kind of realization tale many of us can relate to. You are a very gifted writer who I think has much more to tell us. Thank you for all of it.

Thank you, Cole! You know, or at least I hope you do, that your input on Bound & Bound was greatly appreciated by me! You made that book better in many and substantial ways, and I want to thank you for that.

 

As far as a collaborative effort between us, I would love it! You bring a unique twist to everything you write, and I know we could come up with something sure to please.

 

Thanks again for all of your support. 

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Twisted_Dreemz

This is the first story from AC I've had the opportunity to read all the way through, so this was my first good taste of his skill.

After careful evaluation, I must say he's like Sam Goody's. He's got it!

You did a hell of a job on this story, AC. You took me to a place. And I ain't the only one!

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AC Benus

This is the first story from AC I've had the opportunity to read all the way through, so this was my first good taste of his skill.

After careful evaluation, I must say he's like Sam Goody's. He's got it!

You did a hell of a job on this story, AC. You took me to a place. And I ain't the only one!

Thank you, Twisted. You're saying you read it this evening, aren't you. That's amazing.

 

Let me also say it's amazing to be allowed to offer you feedback and input on your work. You are an awesome storyteller, and as far as I'm concerned, everyone should check out your postings. Post haste

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Lisa

Congratulations, AC!!!!! :)

 

I loved Becoming Real. It was my first story of  yours that I had read, and I really enjoyed your writing style.

 

Your writing is definitely thought-provoking and you have characters you can relate to. I remember distinctly reading The Round People and thinking, "Omg, that's EXACTLY how I felt!"

 

Your characters are so alive and REAL. Even Jack - and he better STAY alive. That's all I'm gonna say! :P  And who can't help falling in love with Simon?

 

So thank you, AC, for writing Becoming Real and letting me into your wonderful world of characters. :)

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AC Benus

Congratulations, AC!!!!! :)

 

I loved Becoming Real. It was my first story of  yours that I had read, and I really enjoyed your writing style.

 

Your writing is definitely thought-provoking and you have characters you can relate to. I remember distinctly reading The Round People and thinking, "Omg, that's EXACTLY how I felt!"

 

Your characters are so alive and REAL. Even Jack - and he better STAY alive. That's all I'm gonna say! :P  And who can't help falling in love with Simon?

 

So thank you, AC, for writing Becoming Real and letting me into your wonderful world of characters. :)

Thank you, Lisa – for everything!

 

You had me laughing so hard right now as you said my characters are so alive, and that's how you want Jack Shaw to stay! I'll see what I can do about that ;)

 

As you said, your reviews and help on Becoming Real were what drew me to you as my editor. And I have been happy and blessed with your guidance ever since. Thanks for all the subtle and sledgehammer ways you make my work better. I owe you a lot too.

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