i love it Sir.  and as much as i'd like to be perfect, i'm not.  i try to be the best i can be.  thanks for this, you should write more often, Sir. xo

Excellent post, Mike! You hit the nail on the head about the slow journey and the diversity of D/s. That can't be stressed enough. If no two people are the same, how can D/s play out the same between them? How can timelines be the same? I've often had to modify my methods. That's why listening, communication, experimentation and intuition are so vital between Dom(me) and sub(s). 

You do have a special boy in tim. We all recognize it and admire it. But, like you said, he wasn't made a perfect boy overnight. And us Doms are far from perfection, too. D/s relationships are similar to vanilla relationships - they need constant care. In fact, I believe they need even extra care. 

I look forward to hearing more from you!

I really enjoy reading the things you write. I feel like I learn something new every time. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. 

1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

i love it Sir.  and as much as i'd like to be perfect, i'm not.  i try to be the best i can be.  thanks for this, you should write more often, Sir. xo

Thank you, boy. I'll see what I can do about the writing thing. 

34 minutes ago, MacGreg said:

Excellent post, Mike! You hit the nail on the head about the slow journey and the diversity of D/s. That can't be stressed enough. If no two people are the same, how can D/s play out the same between them? How can timelines be the same? I've often had to modify my methods. That's why listening, communication, experimentation and intuition are so vital between Dom(me) and sub(s). 

 

You do have a special boy in tim. We all recognize it and admire it. But, like you said, he wasn't made a perfect boy overnight. And us Doms are far from perfection, too. D/s relationships are similar to vanilla relationships - they need constant care. In fact, I believe they need even extra care. 

 

I look forward to hearing more from you!

Thanks, Mac. Nope, it is a wonderful world. Full of many variations. Mmm, I'd agree about extra care. It's funny however, often our relationships last where vanilla ones do not. I've read it's do with the honesty and trust required and the acceptance of roles that are natural for those involved. I can see it. There is a lot of devotion to the relationship. 

I'll likely write more. I've been thinking about male chastity. While tim does not cheat and escape his … I am tempted by some full belt options. PA's can make them unescapable, but I'm not a fan of PA's in general and much to tim's relief, don't want him to have one. 

31 minutes ago, Thorn Wilde said:

I really enjoy reading the things you write. I feel like I learn something new every time. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. 

Let me know if you have questions … or if there is a topic you're interested it. Thanks for reading, Thorn. 

4 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

I'll likely write more. I've been thinking about male chastity. While tim does not cheat and escape his … I am tempted by some full belt options. PA's can make them unescapable, but I'm not a fan of PA's in general and much to tim's relief, don't want him to have one. 

thank You, thank You, thank You ... though i do love all my piercings now xoxo 

13 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

It's funny however, often our relationships last where vanilla ones do not. I've read it's do with the honesty and trust required and the acceptance of roles that are natural for those involved. I can see it. There is a lot of devotion to the relationship. 

There’s a parallel here to polyamory, I think, in the honesty and trust. If you have multiple romantic partners, communication is so important, and people in poly relationships know this. So they talk about everything, check in with their partners, make sure that everyone is still okay with everything. People in traditional monogamous relationships don’t necessarily do this. People have different definitions of what constitutes cheating, or what a normal sex life is like, or whether it’s okay to keep some things to yourself when you’re in a relationship with someone, and if you don’t talk about it you can’t lay down ground rules. Every relationship needs ground rules, and monogamous people are sometimes terrible at setting them. If there’s one thing I learned from my stint with polyamory, it’s to always be honest with my partner and communicate my needs and listen to theirs. So I can trust them and they can trust me.

Thank you, Mike, for being as open as you are about your lifestyle. I learn a little bit more every day from you, Mac, tim, and molly. I agree with tim, you should write more. I'll admit I have questions about daily life in a D/s relationship. Such as:

With family, do D/s partners feel a need to not be as open as you are when alone?

How open are D/s partners in their day-to-day lives? If something happens while out in public, do D/s wait till alone to talk about it, or do corrections in public as well?

I get the impression from comments in Mac's story, and above, that some people are drawn to a D/s lifestyle that should not be in one. When do you know that that person shouldn't be there?

Stuff like that. I hope these questions aren't dumb.

1 minute ago, Reader1810 said:

This is really informative and clarifying. Thanks for sharing, Mike.  

Thank you for reading it, dear Reader. 

Thank you for writing about your lives and about the Life. You illuminate and help me see; you help me understand things I barely grasped, yet feared. 

28 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Thank you, Mike, for being as open as you are about your lifestyle. I learn a little bit more every day from you, Mac, tim, and molly. I agree with tim, you should write more. I'll admit I have questions about daily life in a D/s relationship. Such as:

 

With family, do D/s partners feel a need to not be as open as you are when alone?

How open are D/s partners in their day-to-day lives? If something happens while out in public, do D/s wait till alone to talk about it, or do corrections in public as well?

I get the impression from comments in Mac's story, and above, that some people are drawn to a D/s lifestyle that should not be in one. When do you know that that person shouldn't be there?

 

Stuff like that. I hope these questions aren't dumb.

I wish people would ask any questions...and no, they are not dumb. If you don't know, then people should ask. 

Well, it depends on the family. With mine, they know about tim and I. Some people never tell. It's one reason tim calls me Michael in public. It's more formal than Mike, which family and friends call me. Calling me Sir in a restaurant draws undesired attention. I had to be careful once upon a time, probably wouldn't matter now. We were out once and I gave tim something to hang onto and said: Hold that boy.  Got an odd look from the hostess!  LOL. 

Whether corrections are given in public or private depends on the Dom and the situation. A quick whispered word and smack on the ass maybe be enough until you're alone. Then the situation would drive whether more is required.  IMO not everything needs a correction. Subs are human, they forget things, just like anyone. Is that innocent act deserving of physical correction? When, I, as the Dom am responsible for most things? I'd say no, but others may disagree. 

Many are drawn through fantasy. Many like rape or bondage fantasy. Normally, those subs who think this is what they want determine quickly that reality is not as much fun as the fantasy. The real problems are people that lure other into their sickness. Men like the one in your story Eric, who take advantage, use and abuse. There are plenty of them around. They do a lot of damage. 

But there are those who just push back too much, laugh too much, don't take what you tell them to heart, you can tell that D/s is not for them. 

thank You Michael Sir for shedding more light on this lifestyle in such a well done and passionate way

this life isn't for everyone, it's not at all what popular fiction or poorly done porn videos make it out to be

and each person's journey into and through it is different

i think You should write more too 

Thank you, molly pop.  I am very passionate about our Lifestyle.  you're correct about us not being stereotypes.  I remember watching some online bdsm with tim once. The boy was to be flogged by the Dominant. I wouldn't have touched the mouthy creature. The Dom allowed him to taunt saying, "Is that all you got." He'd have found out quickly 'what I got' let me tell you. Such nonsense.   He' have been blindfolded, gagged and on his knees. And been unable to touch me or himself until could behave. 

But the real among us, it is a wonderful journey, each different, but each as important. 

I appreciate your support, my girl. Thank you. 

Good work, Michael. You and tim remind me of some of my friends. The perception it's all about sex couldn't be farther from the truth.

14 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

The real problems are people that lure other into their sickness. Men like the one in your story Eric, who take advantage, use and abuse. There are plenty of them around. They do a lot of damage. 

I randomly came across a post in a BDSM subredit a while back, where a guy was asking advice about something or other regarding his subs (can’t recall what). He lived with two of them. Two girls. Thing is, the younger of the two was only sixteen when they started, a couple of years older at the time of writing, and he was in his late twenties. I remember thinking, that doesn’t seem quite right. And the more he wrote, the less responsible he seemed, like the whole thing was just about his own gratification and not about the welfare of his subs at all. Most of the people who replied to him seemed to feel the same. Made me realise how many dangerous people there really are out there... He called himself a Dom, but in reality he was just a predator. I felt awful for his subs, neither of whom had been in D/s relationships before and didn’t know any better.

2 hours ago, Thorn Wilde said:

I randomly came across a post in a BDSM subredit a while back, where a guy was 

Grr...that is horrible! 

I never bothered reading 50 Shades, nor did I see the movie.  The more I learn here the happier I am I didn't waste my time.

Hmm, no, we don't talk about 50 Shades of Asinine around here...