Category 5 by C James

[C James]

Discussion thread for "Category 5"

 

 

 

Spoilers below!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Spoilers below!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Spoilers below!!!

[Graeme]

I'll start by saying that I'm not a surfer. I've never even been surfing (yes, I know -- almost sacrilege for an Australian). Even so, I found this surfing tale enthralling. There was enough jargon in it to drag me along, without so much that I would be dumped like a breaker.

 

The description of the Green Room was awesome!

 

The way the story ended had me going back to the start and reading again. The second time, I had an appreciation of detail that I didn't pick up on the first time. This is the mark of an excellent short story, and C James should be proud that he's achieved it. The detail and clues as to what was really going on were there from the start, but unnoticed (at least by me).

 

Overall, the story rang very true for me. The attitude of the surfers matched those of the Aussie surfers I've known, and Cody's wish for how to end things was perfect. I'm glad he didn't get his wish, though

[Meeko]

CJ

 

So i have to say..... so far you and Viv made my day.. i mean hell your two stories are the only two i have seen yet, and i can't wait to read the rest.

 

Anyway just amazing Cj, at frist when you talked about the old lady, and how she warned Drake, the frist thing i thought about was Pele, the Hawaiian god of fire. When i was little i always heard stories about her, and how she would come to people's doors wearing old raggy clothes, and ask them for food and water. And how only 1 of the three houses she asked gave her food and water, but the man who did got a hint from her, she told him about a volcane that was going to irrupt and how he should place tee leaves all around his house to stay safe. Let's just say the story ends with him doing what she said and being the only house out of the 3 to make it....

 

Okay so getting back to the story, it was beatiful, Brillant, I would use more words, but i'm too stupid!!

 

The way Drake had to go out there and help him even though he knew they would never make it touched me soo much.

 

Great Job CJ i always look forward to your stories!!!

 

-LC

[BeaStKid]

Who say Goats can't write??!! I'd like to rubber stamp Category 5's url link on their butts!!

 

Seriously, I thoroughly enjoyed the story even though I'm unfamiliar with the surfing jargon. The reveleation at the end was superb and was exactly Bollywood material!

 

The scene where Drake goes out to save Cody caught my breath...I mean my heart literally started racing in anticipation and concern of what would happen to the duo.

 

Great story!!!

 

 

The BeaStKid

[Conner]

Leave it to CJ to turn a rainy day theme into a Cat V hurricane!

 

CJ has two gears: Fast and Faster.

 

Superb story, CJ. Simply superb!

 

One thing though, who ever heard of two gay men getting underneath a matress??? :wacko: That wasn't realistic for me at all.

 

Conner

[Bondwriter]

Anyway just amazing Cj, at frist when you talked about the old lady, and how she warned Drake, the frist thing i thought about was Pele, the Hawaiian god of fire. When i was little i always heard stories about her, and how she would come to people's doors wearing old raggy clothes, and ask them for food and water. And how only 1 of the three houses she asked gave her food and water, but the man who did got a hint from her, she told him about a volcane that was going to irrupt and how he should place tee leaves all around his house to stay safe. Let's just say the story ends with him doing what she said and being the only house out of the 3 to make it....

I was afraid CJames would once again alienate the locals living where his stories take place. I don't know if he got an official stamp of approval from the Hawaii Board of Tourism, for his efforts at making it appealing, but I'm not surprised he got his facts right.

 

Seriously, I thoroughly enjoyed the story even though I'm unfamiliar with the surfing jargon. The revelation at the end was superb and was exactly Bollywood material!

I had not seen this from this angle, but it makes me want to watch more Bollywood.

I thought that at last I had found a method to find a soul mate. Sadly enough, we have a few storms every once in a while over here, no hurricanes, no volcanoes. Moving a few hundreds of miles south, there are forest fires, which would be my best bet.

 

So guys, this is not only a nicely written story (read Graeme's review above, he manages to say all the clever literary things), this is a set of instructions on how to pick up guys. Down with the nightclubs, college campuses or even the occasional church youth group. Here is the best method to find yourself a cute, blond, shirtless boy friend.

 

1/ Find a dangerous activity. Surfing is OK, but of course kite-surfing, wind-surfing, rock climbing, parachuting, free-falling and all similar activities are OK. Cross-country biking or Formula 1 racing work too, but require greater skill and are more costly.

2/ Hang out for a while once you've become a master at this sport. You're getting to the tricky part.

3/ If you've been doing everything well, Fate will reward you. It always does. You should now spot a good-looking guy. DON'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY. This would spoil the fun. Act shy, he will too. Get to know him, but don't be too blunt.

4/ The cute, lonely, weird-acting guy should be doing something reckless. Of course, as you haven't told him you liked him, and haven't been able to pick up the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle telling you he's gay too, and has trouble dealing with it, you haven't identified his suicidal tendencies. BUT, you feel love deep in your heart for him, which will help tremendously. So, he goes for his reckless suicide attempt. NOW HAS COME THE TIME TO MAKE YOUR MOVE. This is also a trial, or as they said in the Middle Age, an ordeal.

5/ Gather all your skills and experience, and just GO FOR IT. This is the hour of truth. If you've trained enough, and you have enough true feelings for him, the adrenalin rush and whatever magic power drives you will manage to have you save the guy. Then, having come close to death, he should collapse in your arms and reveal that he has had the hots for you too; your saving his life makes it all the more powerful than if you hadn't followed the advice in #3.

Of course, if you fail the ordeal, you'll rest six feet under a few days later.

 

But this method is 100% efficient and guarantees a life-long happiness and bliss if you go through the whole process unhurt.

 

So, to sum it up:

*a great story

*great guys

*great advice

*great surfing

*great sightseeing

*poor kids jeopardized by a goat (authors shouldn't threaten their characters with violent death, a law should be passed against this)

[viv]

So, I heard, on good authority, that this was about the best thing you have written yet! So... I read, as I have a tendency to do, far too much sometimes... and it seems... well, suffice it to say that I believe the following to be true:

 

You write some of *the* MOST technically detailed stories that I have ever read. Accurate, descriptive, educational, they make me think that you have done whatever it is you are describing. That leads me to believe that either you have, or you have one hell of an imagination!

 

It seems like everything comes together in the end, plot wise, and there is your 'happily ever after' ending that I so love, but sometimes I feel like I'm more connected to your plots than your characters, if that makes sense. Normally, for me anyway, I connect with people, and the plot is just some small sliver of their lives that I happen to be privy to seeing, and in doing so, I feel and experience things right along with them. I'd love to see what you could do if you put as much detail into what your characters are thinking and feeling, rather than having the plot try to make us understand, but maybe that's just your style, too. Either way, I was quite impressed with your story and how broad it was with all the pieces fitting together beautifully in the end, as always.

 

Hugs!!

Viv

[Red_A]

First, I must say that I am not a surfer and I have never been in a hurricane. However, I have sailed on windsurfer, in dinghies, on yachts up to 75feet(~20m). I have never been in a green room, but a green wall, is an unwelcomed friend. I have been trashed, in a 25 foot (8m) yacht, and on a windsurfer. That feeling of being with the sea, the companionship of the sea, the need to help even the foolhardy, the hopeless. How adrenaline helps makes the impossible, possible. The relief, that after escaping that reef, the beach is so soft.

 

I do not know if C James has experienced the above, but this story brings back good and bad memories. A wonderful story, thanks.

 

Red

[TalonRider]

This is definitely a great story CJ. You've outdone yourself with this one. It's more proof that a lurking, sunglasses wearing goat can write. I picked up quickly that Drake was going to at least make a new friend, let alone wind up rescuing someone in more ways than one.

 

I'm not a surfer either, but the description CJ gave made me feel like I was there.

 

Jan

[wildone]

You write some of *the* MOST technically detailed stories that I have ever read. Accurate, descriptive, educational, they make me think that you have done whatever it is you are describing. That leads me to believe that either you have, or you have one hell of an imagination!

 

 

I have to agree 100% with Viv. It doesn't matter if you are writing about a Cat 5 storm or explaining a repair to a car, you either have a very vast knowledge of much, or you do your research to the max. I actually read the first few paragraphs of the story and thought I maybe had something that you had missed in your research. As a kid, I learned in school that Hurricanes were in the Atlantic and Typhoons were in the Pacific, thus making the possibility of a hurricane impossible in Hawaii unless the islands floated through the Panama Canal. So, I paused and did some research and learned that in fact you were correct. It turns out that in North America we call all tropical cyclones as Hurricanes. Elsewhere in the world, it seems they are called Hurricanes, or Typhoons, or Cyclones depending on their origin. I know I'm babbling, but I guess I'm amazed that you probably knew all of this already.

 

As for the characters of the story, I was impressed with the bravery that Drake showed. He obviously sensed that there was something just not right with Cody. The first clue I picked up on was with the offered pop and sandwich for lunch. I love the way you throw in these little hints through out the beginning of the story, and they all fall in place at the end. It is always rewarding to re-read your stories and see what was missed the first time round.

 

Thanks for the enjoyable afternoon.

 

Steve

[JamesSavik]

That was GGGGGGRRRR88888 CJ!

 

I actually started writing a Katrina story for this anthology but... I think it is too soon yet.

 

Katrina wasn't just a rainy summer day. It was a couple of rainy, terror filled stormy days in the dark and oppressive heat followed by weeks without power and the smell of dead things and rotting stuff from freezers. You can still see where the trees are torn up or were injured and finally dying.

 

Here's the REAL good part: we were 90 miles north of the coast and our area was still got its ass kicked and didn't get back to normal for six weeks.

 

I would have liked to have had a Drake or a Cody to hole up with.

[C James]

Greame, thank you for the wonderful review.

 

Anyway just amazing Cj, at frist when you talked about the old lady, and how she warned Drake, the frist thing i thought about was Pele, the Hawaiian god of fire. When i was little i always heard stories about her, and how she would come to people's doors wearing old raggy clothes, and ask them for food and water. And how only 1 of the three houses she asked gave her food and water, but the man who did got a hint from her, she told him about a volcane that was going to irrupt and how he should place tee leaves all around his house to stay safe. Let's just say the story ends with him doing what she said and being the only house out of the 3 to make it....

 

Okay so getting back to the story, it was beatiful, Brillant, I would use more words, but i'm too stupid!!

 

The way Drake had to go out there and help him even though he knew they would never make it touched me soo much.

 

Great Job CJ i always look forward to your stories!!!

-LC

Thanks LC!

 

I did base Apu-hau partly on Pele's mischievous nature. Good catch! The storm was based partially on Hurricane Iniki, though I meddled with the track a bit, plus made it present-day.

 

Who say Goats can't write??!! I'd like to rubber stamp Category 5's url link on their butts!!

 

Seriously, I thoroughly enjoyed the story even though I'm unfamiliar with the surfing jargon. The reveleation at the end was superb and was exactly Bollywood material!

 

The scene where Drake goes out to save Cody caught my breath...I mean my heart literally started racing in anticipation and concern of what would happen to the duo.

Great story!!!

 

Thanks Beastkid!! It was a fun one to write.

 

Leave it to CJ to turn a rainy day theme into a Cat V hurricane!

 

CJ has two gears: Fast and Faster.

 

Superb story, CJ. Simply superb!

 

One thing though, who ever heard of two gay men getting underneath a matress??? :wacko: That wasn't realistic for me at all.

Thanks Conner!!

 

And they had to do something with that mattress, right?

I was afraid CJames would once again alienate the locals living where his stories take place. I don't know if he got an official stamp of approval from the Hawaii Board of Tourism, for his efforts at making it appealing, but I'm not surprised he got his facts right.

 

I thought that at last I had found a method to find a soul mate. Sadly enough, we have a few storms every once in a while over here, no hurricanes, no volcanoes. Moving a few hundreds of miles south, there are forest fires, which would be my best bet.

 

So guys, this is not only a nicely written story (read Graeme's review above, he manages to say all the clever literary things), this is a set of instructions on how to pick up guys. Down with the nightclubs, college campuses or even the occasional church youth group. Here is the best method to find yourself a cute, blond, shirtless boy friend.

 

1/ Find a dangerous activity. Surfing is OK, but of course kite-surfing, wind-surfing, rock climbing, parachuting, free-falling and all similar activities are OK. Cross-country biking or Formula 1 racing work too, but require greater skill and are more costly.

2/ Hang out for a while once you've become a master at this sport. You're getting to the tricky part.

3/ If you've been doing everything well, Fate will reward you. It always does. You should now spot a good-looking guy. DON'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY. This would spoil the fun. Act shy, he will too. Get to know him, but don't be too blunt.

4/ The cute, lonely, weird-acting guy should be doing something reckless. Of course, as you haven't told him you liked him, and haven't been able to pick up the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle telling you he's gay too, and has trouble dealing with it, you haven't identified his suicidal tendencies. BUT, you feel love deep in your heart for him, which will help tremendously. So, he goes for his reckless suicide attempt. NOW HAS COME THE TIME TO MAKE YOUR MOVE. This is also a trial, or as they said in the Middle Age, an ordeal.

5/ Gather all your skills and experience, and just GO FOR IT. This is the hour of truth. If you've trained enough, and you have enough true feelings for him, the adrenalin rush and whatever magic power drives you will manage to have you save the guy. Then, having come close to death, he should collapse in your arms and reveal that he has had the hots for you too; your saving his life makes it all the more powerful than if you hadn't followed the advice in #3.

Of course, if you fail the ordeal, you'll rest six feet under a few days later.

 

But this method is 100% efficient and guarantees a life-long happiness and bliss if you go through the whole process unhurt.

 

So, to sum it up:

*a great story

*great guys

*great advice

*great surfing

*great sightseeing

*poor kids jeopardized by a goat (authors shouldn't threaten their characters with violent death, a law should be passed against this)[/font][/size]

Thanks Bondwriter!!

 

Yes indeed, I do seem to have quite a few hazardous activities in my stories. In my 2006 summer anthology entry, the protagonists met when one was showing off his rock-climbing skills, only to end up proving, via gravity, that he was lacking in said skills.

 

Maybe I should compile all this into a list of "things to do to pick up guys" ?

 

So, I heard, on good authority, that this was about the best thing you have written yet! So... I read, as I have a tendency to do, far too much sometimes... and it seems... well, suffice it to say that I believe the following to be true:

 

You write some of *the* MOST technically detailed stories that I have ever read. Accurate, descriptive, educational, they make me think that you have done whatever it is you are describing. That leads me to believe that either you have, or you have one hell of an imagination!

 

It seems like everything comes together in the end, plot wise, and there is your 'happily ever after' ending that I so love, but sometimes I feel like I'm more connected to your plots than your characters, if that makes sense. Normally, for me anyway, I connect with people, and the plot is just some small sliver of their lives that I happen to be privy to seeing, and in doing so, I feel and experience things right along with them. I'd love to see what you could do if you put as much detail into what your characters are thinking and feeling, rather than having the plot try to make us understand, but maybe that's just your style, too. Either way, I was quite impressed with your story and how broad it was with all the pieces fitting together beautifully in the end, as always.

 

Hugs!!

Viv

 

Thanks Viv, and you do raise several good points; Yes, I'm a surfer (well, former); stated in high school and kept at it until I moved to Arizona. I do tend to write about things I've done, and places I've been, at least in part. I've been to Kauai, but the bay in the story is an invention, I couldn't say whether one exists on that coast that fits the description. I've certainly never surfed in a hurricane, either, LoL. The closest I've come to that is some of the big winter storms in California when i lived there.

 

I'll try and explore the thoughts and feelings of my characters a little more in future. With Cat5, I couldn't at first, especially with Cody, as that would have ruined the plot. But I could have during their sheltering from the storm. Drake I could have illustrated more at the beginning.

 

Thanks!!!

First, I must say that I am not a surfer and I have never been in a hurricane. However, I have sailed on windsurfer, in dinghies, on yachts up to 75feet(~20m). I have never been in a green room, but a green wall, is an unwelcomed friend. I have been trashed, in a 25 foot (8m) yacht, and on a windsurfer. That feeling of being with the sea, the companionship of the sea, the need to help even the foolhardy, the hopeless. How adrenaline helps makes the impossible, possible. The relief, that after escaping that reef, the beach is so soft.

 

I do not know if C James has experienced the above, but this story brings back good and bad memories. A wonderful story, thanks.

Red

 

Thanks!

 

I haven't ever tried surfing in a hurricane (I amy be crazy, but not that crazy) but I used to surf. I've also had a few encounters with the "green wall" you mention; I used to race sale boats, 14 footers, and got caught in the Anicappa channel during a race once, by a very sudden change in sea conditions. Not fun.

 

This is definitely a great story CJ. You've outdone yourself with this one. It's more proof that a lurking, sunglasses wearing goat can write. I picked up quickly that Drake was going to at least make a new friend, let alone wind up rescuing someone in more ways than one.

 

I'm not a surfer either, but the description CJ gave made me feel like I was there.

 

Thanks Jan!!!

Drake eneded up rescuing someone, but he rescued himself in the process; courtesy of a meddling deity. LoL.

I have to agree 100% with Viv. It doesn't matter if you are writing about a Cat 5 storm or explaining a repair to a car, you either have a very vast knowledge of much, or you do your research to the max. I actually read the first few paragraphs of the story and thought I maybe had something that you had missed in your research. As a kid, I learned in school that Hurricanes were in the Atlantic and Typhoons were in the Pacific, thus making the possibility of a hurricane impossible in Hawaii unless the islands floated through the Panama Canal. So, I paused and did some research and learned that in fact you were correct. It turns out that in North America we call all tropical cyclones as Hurricanes. Elsewhere in the world, it seems they are called Hurricanes, or Typhoons, or Cyclones depending on their origin. I know I'm babbling, but I guess I'm amazed that you probably knew all of this already.

 

As for the characters of the story, I was impressed with the bravery that Drake showed. He obviously sensed that there was something just not right with Cody. The first clue I picked up on was with the offered pop and sandwich for lunch. I love the way you throw in these little hints through out the beginning of the story, and they all fall in place at the end. It is always rewarding to re-read your stories and see what was missed the first time round.

 

Thanks for the enjoyable afternoon.

Thanks Steve!

 

I did miss one thing in the draft until I did some fact-checking; Central Pacific originating storms have HAwaiin names. I took the name for this one off their official name list. However, while drafting this out, I'd overlooked that fact, and the original name for the storm in the story was.. Steve.

 

That was GGGGGGRRRR88888 CJ!

I actually started writing a Katrina story for this anthology but... I think it is too soon yet.

 

Katrina wasn't just a rainy summer day. It was a couple of rainy, terror filled stormy days in the dark and oppressive heat followed by weeks without power and the smell of dead things and rotting stuff from freezers. You can still see where the trees are torn up or were injured and finally dying.

 

Here's the REAL good part: we were 90 miles north of the coast and our area was still got its ass kicked and didn't get back to normal for six weeks.

I would have liked to have had a Drake or a Cody to hole up with.

Thanks James!!

 

Katrina, yowza, I know quite a few people who were scarred by that one. I'd imagine that it would be very difficult indeed to write about. I hope those scars, both real and psychological, are healing.

[SonoLuminus]

The level of detail made it feel very real, and that was a nice twist at the end.

 

Also, it was kind of cool that someone else did a hurricane story.

[wildone]

Thanks Steve!

 

I did miss one thing in the draft until I did some fact-checking; Central Pacific originating storms have HAwaiin names. I took the name for this one off their official name list. However, while drafting this out, I'd overlooked that fact, and the original name for the storm in the story was.. Steve.

 

I'm sure that you had another certain Steve in mind when you were thinking of all the destruction and havoc when you were coming up with the name.

[shadowgod]

I'm sure that you had another certain Steve in mind when you were thinking of all the destruction and havoc when you were coming up with the name.

 

... _ _ _ ...

 

you guys are soo mean to poor steve#3 what did he ever do to y'all??

[C James]

The level of detail made it feel very real, and that was a nice twist at the end.

 

Also, it was kind of cool that someone else did a hurricane story.

 

Thanks! I was sure delighted to see your story too; until yours came in mine was the only hurricane.

 

I'm sure that you had another certain Steve in mind when you were thinking of all the destruction and havoc when you were coming up with the name.

 

Well, you might say that..

But it just fit... After all, we have, officially, decided that he's to blame for everything from global warming to the sinking of the Titanic.

 

... _ _ _ ...

you guys are soo mean to poor steve#3 what did he ever do to y'all??

 

#3? We,, if this isn't proof of you evilness, what is.. I mean cloning yourself? Really... Tsk, tsk...

 

I have a question I'd like to ask everyone... Somethign that's been bugging me for some time.

 

A while back, Shadowgod used a few words of Spanish in a chapter of Living in Surreality that I betad. I was worried that no one would understand it unless they spoke Spanish, or at least knew what those words meant.

 

In CAT5, I had a similar situation with the surfing lingo; sure, I know what it means, but unless the reader has some familiarity with surfing, they likely won't, and I didn't define all of it in the narration. (Thus contradicting my own advice to Shadowgod, amongst other things).

 

I did try and tone it down; I ommitted leashes, sex wax, bullfrog, and a plethora of terms and context regarding the waves. I also "interpreted" rather than quoted the surf report; a real one would be a little harder to understand. The ones I heard in hawaii also included more local patois.

 

Anyway, what I'm wondering is, should I have omitted any surfing terms that I didn't define in the narration? For example, "Green Room" was defined, but "bottom turn" wasn't. I could have said "turning left at the base of the wave once I'd picked up enough speed" or something similar instead.

 

Also, should I have developed Drake's character a little more?

 

Thanks! And all comments, including of course criticism, are very welcome!!!

[Conner]

Sex wax??? And you left it out??? Now I'm pissed!

 

I'm not sure you're being fair to yourself in posing the question "did I put in too many surfer terms". Given the process you described for using surfer terms, I cannot fault you at all. If you had cut it back more than you did, you'd be faced with the opposing question - did I use enough. So I think you might be just chasing your tail on this one....and we goats have rather short tails. It's a very dizzying experience....even for people watching.

 

As for Drake's character development, yes, I believe more would have been better. Crush or not, this dude risked his life to save another human being. There aren't many of us in that category...well except for sexy firemen and RCMP officers.

 

So, tell me about sex wax?

 

Conner

[Red_A]

Zog's Sex Wax Surfer's Essentials

Be warned sex wax is used to ensure you can grip the board

[Graeme]

Sex wax??? And you left it out??? Now I'm pissed!

...

 

So, tell me about sex wax?

Check out his first anthology story: No Shirt? No Problem! which does include sex wax.

 

On the subject of jargon, I think CJ picked a good balance. You want to have enough to set the flavour and make the story/characters realistic, but not so much that the readers get lost. Most of the terms can be understood in context, even if all the nuances aren't appreciated. I've read stories than include quotes in foreign languages, but even though I didn't understand that language, it was clear from the context what was being said. This is the equivalent situation. What terms I may not have known, I grasped through the context.

 

A short story can be a challenge when it comes to character development. If you go too far, you can detract from the story itself. I always like to know more about characters, but I certainly don't think that Drake's character has been short-changed.

[Myk]

A real winner!!

 

As for your questions.....I think you used the perfect amount of lingo. Something like 'green room' was good to explain, and the way you did it added lot to the story....great description! Other terms like 'bottom turn' were fairly logical, at least in my opinion....besides describing that might have slown the flow down a bit.

 

As for character development more might have been nice but you are a bit restricted in a short story, and you had a good pace going. For me I think I identified enough with the character (probably mostly in my head) and thus everything he did made sense to me, at least from my perspective. Maybe by not developing his character more it allows the reader to use their imagination and bend his personality more to their own view point. I would have liked more but I don't expect that from a short like this.

 

I really enjoyed this one.....THANKS!!!!!

 

Greg

[Matthew]

I haven't read the other comments, but I really liked the story. The images were vivid, the emotions real.

 

Although I do feel I have to say, it's spelled "haole".

 

Awesome story.

[Conner]

Zog's Sex Wax Surfer's Essentials

Be warned sex wax is used to ensure you can grip the board

 

I liked the wee commercial, "...a slippery board is a bummer!"

 

[shadowgod]

I first had the opportunity to read a version of this some time ago. The hurricane in that version wasn't named Steve either, (Sorry Rabble Rouser, I don't know why they must be so insensitive). I also got to read a few other polished drafts as well.

 

The technical Jargon, for me, fit perfectly, but I do have a minimal working knowledge of surfing even though I mostly an inland guy myself. Going on that I didn't find it to oppressive, or lacking in enough "atmosphere" to tackle the story. Characterization, again as had been stated I would have liked to see Drake's character a little more, but I understand that size limits and choreography of Character interactions made that a hard hurdle to tackle.

 

Cody, I find Cody fascinating, even sort of enigmatic. I'll be the first to admit his entrance into the story staring stoically into the churning pacific did not give me a good feeling. His entrance into the story was almost ethereal in its prose. I honestly thought there would be no saving Cody from the first time I met him in the narration. I had a feeling he was one of those famous Hawaiian Phantom's that are said to stalk about the Islands.

 

As the story moved on my initial fears of the enigmatic surfer turned into something closer to restrained terror as it appeared Cody was more then a Phantom or possible siren luring Drake into a suicidal attempt of rescue.

 

See how my imagination gets away from me??

 

CJ's trademark action pace was there and drove the story as if a storm pushing inland, driving both the protagonists of the story and the reader into an endearing outcome.

 

I love it CJ, and I'll say it again I think it is the best thing you have written yet! A mighty fitting story for your anniversary of On line writing!

 

And the twist... , even though I kinda guessed it from the beginning, which only nurtured the initial feelings I had about Cody.

 

Awesome dude, just Awesome!

 

Steve

[Bondwriter]

As the story moved on my initial fears of the enigmatic surfer turned into something closer to restrained terror as it appeared Cody was more then a Phantom or possible siren luring Drake into a suicidal attempt of rescue.

I had exactly the same fear and just wondered how CJ would get around killing his characters in the 1st person.

 

As for the character development issue, CJ seems to want to tell more about his characters through what they do. It works for me.

[old bob]

Hey CJ

Its the best story I ever red on GA .

As Shadowgod says :

I love it CJ, and I'll say it again I think it is the best thing you have written yet! A mighty fitting story for your anniversary of On line writing!

BTW, tell us more about "Apu-hau". Anything to read about her ?