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Posted

Chapter 30 is now available....

 

I'm not bothered by the ending. :wacko:

 

And it is good to see that Eric sometimes has priorities higher than sex.... 0:)

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Posted

Boring. CJ is capable of much better. For the first time ever I was disappointed in LTMP.

  • Site Administrator
Posted
Boring. CJ is capable of much better. For the first time ever I was disappointed in LTMP.

Hmm... I suspect you're being sarcastic, because I certainly didn't find it boring. It was different in character to some of the other chapters, but definitely not boring.

 

There was a bit of humour (involving Eric, naturally), tension (what was going to happen when they arrived) and drama (well, I think murder is drama....).

Posted
Hmm... I suspect you're being sarcastic, because I certainly didn't find it boring. It was different in character to some of the other chapters, but definitely not boring.

 

There was a bit of humour (involving Eric, naturally), tension (what was going to happen when they arrived) and drama (well, I think murder is drama....).

Yes, and the description of the murder was nicely done. I hope Gary was joking. I loved the deliciously evil chapter. Lord Goatamort strikes again. I also must declare yet another evil cliffhanger!

Posted
Yes, and the description of the murder was nicely done. I hope Gary was joking. I loved the deliciously evil chapter. Lord Goatamort strikes again. I also must declare yet another evil cliffhanger!

 

 

B) ...........Poor Scar is about to get his much deserved rest interrupted. I wonder how the engineer plans his escape?

Posted
I'm not bothered by the ending. :wacko:

Nor am I. At least not especially. The Scar already knows that they were there and that the paparazzi took their pictures. However, he didn't inform Demitri of this. Thus the reason why Demitri was alarmed. It all really comes down to whether or not the photos expose something that couldn't have been taken in his presence, or that looks too revealing.

 

 

Anyway, good chapter! I quite enjoyed it :)

 

 

-Kevin

Posted

I agree with Gary. Time to bring in some action, besides the little boys games these youngsters play. The Scar rules!

The poor guy who crosses his path should have been less curious. Nicely done character, by the way, and I'm no longer kidding.

Posted
Nor am I. At least not especially. The Scar already knows that they were there and that the paparazzi took their pictures. However, he didn't inform Demitri of this. Thus the reason why Demitri was alarmed. It all really comes down to whether or not the photos expose something that couldn't have been taken in his presence, or that looks too revealing.

 

 

Anyway, good chapter! I quite enjoyed it :)

 

 

-Kevin

Just what was in the photos was never revealed. Still, if the photos had included retrieval of the GPS device I'd think J/S would be more upset than he is. So apart from the boys being seen somewhere they have every right to be what's so unusual about being photographed by the paparazzi?

  • Site Administrator
Posted
So apart from the boys being seen somewhere they have every right to be what's so unusual about being photographed by the paparazzi?

Because while they had the right to be there, they weren't supposed to be there, especially without any sort of security. Now Brisbane is a lovely city, and there are some great people there, but lunatics can be found anywhere....

 

Also, Jerry doesn't know that the guys had been in the container (a container containing a dead body and nuclear weapons....). The ending indicates that at least one of the photos shows the guys inside that container....

 

They'll get it from Helen on the former issue, and who knows what The Scar will do about the later. :wacko:

Posted
Because while they had the right to be there, they weren't supposed to be there, especially without any sort of security. Now Brisbane is a lovely city, and there are some great people there, but lunatics can be found anywhere....

Fair enough. But it's not like this is the first time they've eluded Helen and security. :)

  • Site Moderator
Posted

Enjoy the calm before the storm. I have a hunch, it's going to be rough going very soon.

Posted

I still say that there is an evil cliffhanger. There has got to be more to it than that. We'll have to wait and see.

Posted
Enjoy the calm before the storm. I have a hunch, it's going to be rough going very soon.

 

yes, there is something brewing ;)

I still think its a bit unrealistic that the GPS actually picked up a signal being attachted under the hood at the site of an engine... but well, its fiction :) And the way the scar got rid of the manager was cool... but fast unprepared actions like this usually get you in trouble...

Posted
yes, there is something brewing ;)

I still think its a bit unrealistic that the GPS actually picked up a signal being attachted under the hood at the site of an engine... but well, its fiction :) And the way the scar got rid of the manager was cool... but fast unprepared actions like this usually get you in trouble...

 

Uhoh.

 

Hmmm, I'll check on that. What I did was crawl under my 4x4 with a gps. It worked for me UNDER the starter motor but I think I had the GPS in the story located at the top or side of the starter. I'll check and see if that would work. I don't have a land rover, but the body style is similar on mine...

 

Thanks!!

CJ :)

Posted

GPS update...

 

OK, I tried using a GPS, though a different model from the one in the story. I scurried under a large SUV and tried it. I got mixed results. The starter motor is low in the engine compartment, so it's not totally surrounded, BUT, from on top I had a darn hard time getting a signal and it took quite a few miniutes sometimes. YAP was right. I did get SOME in certain positions (having the vehicle in a very open space, in dirt, seems to help, as does parking it north-south rather than east-west, but it's marginal.

 

I think (but do not know) that in record mode, it would get an occasional fix, especially on rough roads where the vehicle isn't always parallel to the ground.

 

GPS's are too expensive for me to be willing to test mine by taping it to the starter motor. LoL

 

So, a question: Is this close enough; I think it might work, enough to get a few fixes though probably not record the entire journey accurately. (though for the purposes of the story, only the former is needed)

 

Or, I can edit the posted chapters so that the GPS is taped to the underside of the starter (which would be a rather risky proposition in many respects).

 

Opinions?

 

BTW, should I have gotten a little more inside Adam Creston's head in those final moments? I was trying to show that he really didn't have the ability to think, just react to the pain.

 

Thanks!

CJ :)

Posted (edited)

Here's my take on it. I've got a Garmin Geko 301 GPS unit I use for geo-caching. It will record locations automatically or manually. Auto-mode is so you can just walk around and it basically creates of map of where you started and where you wind up so you retrace your steps and get back to the start. Manual mode is what we use for geo-caching. It's waterproof. It's small enough to strap to a starter. But the battery life is only nine hours.

 

I was in bed reading the forums, but was intrigued enough to get up, get dressed and put it in the engine compartment of my car as far down as possible. It was able to get an accurate fix which really surprised me.

 

So the only problem I see here is the battery life... nine hours! J/S would have had to get from the resort to the facility within that time for the boys to have learned where he went.

Edited by GaryInMiami
Posted

I love this chapter! I think there is no reason to get any more into Adam's thoughts. He is not a major character. The only thing that seems a little different in this chapter is that it does not seem to exploit all the tense moments to full capacity. It moved quite fast. Still, a dead body, nuclear weapons, and a rock band is quite a combination.

 

Now I want to know what was in the photos. Maybe someone who had alegedly passed out. I think this counts as a clifhanger. The goat strikes again!

Posted

Something else is bothering me. Is Helen really going to just accept a letter of resignation from the road manager without following up on it? Doesn't Adam have people outside the tour who will eventually notice he's missing? I think J/S screwed-up big time with this murder.

  • Site Administrator
Posted
So the only problem I see here is the battery life... nine hours! J/S would have had to get from the resort to the facility within that time for the boys to have learned where he went.

Don't forget that Brandon hooked up the GPS to the car battery. It gave it a lot more than nine hours. :) But it certainly sound feasible. It may require a good quality GPS (ie. one that has a good internal antenna to pick up the signal), but it's reasonable. :)

Posted
BTW, should I have gotten a little more inside Adam Creston's head in those final moments?

This was well done IMO. Adam is just a secondary character, whose sole narrative purpose is getting killed, but he's introduced enough to the reader so that the murder appears really evil.

Posted

it was a good chapter. Jerry goofed up big time. His letter will not be received by Helen until the band reaches LA. That means that Adam's absence may be noticed.

 

Also, I think Eric got overboard in his stupidity this time. I mean, if he was so sure that J/S is up to something, shouldn't he have been more careful with the paparazzi? Also, the way he was jumping to go to Toowoomba was a bit unnerving for me. I'm glad Brandon didn't agree.

 

Well, things are certainly starting to escalate from here... Can't wait to see (read?) where this takes us.... :)

 

BeaStKid

Posted
Don't forget that Brandon hooked up the GPS to the car battery. It gave it a lot more than nine hours. :) But it certainly sound feasible. It may require a good quality GPS (ie. one that has a good internal antenna to pick up the signal), but it's reasonable. :)

I either missed or forgot that important detail. Yeah you can get a car battery adapter for the one I have. But there's still a somewhat limited number of waypoints it will record without manually switching to a new track. And there are a limited number of tracks.

Posted (edited)
OK, I tried using a GPS, though a different model from the one in the story. I scurried under a large SUV and tried it. I got mixed results. The starter motor is low in the engine compartment, so it's not totally surrounded, BUT, from on top I had a darn hard time getting a signal and it took quite a few miniutes sometimes. YAP was right. I did get SOME in certain positions (having the vehicle in a very open space, in dirt, seems to help, as does parking it north-south rather than east-west, but it's marginal.

 

I think (but do not know) that in record mode, it would get an occasional fix, especially on rough roads where the vehicle isn't always parallel to the ground.

 

GPS's are too expensive for me to be willing to test mine by taping it to the starter motor. LoL

 

So, a question: Is this close enough; I think it might work, enough to get a few fixes though probably not record the entire journey accurately. (though for the purposes of the story, only the former is needed)

 

Or, I can edit the posted chapters so that the GPS is taped to the underside of the starter (which would be a rather risky proposition in many respects).

 

Opinions?

Here's my take on it. I've got a Garmin Geko 301 GPS unit I use for geo-caching. It will record locations automatically or manually. Auto-mode is so you can just walk around and it basically creates of map of where you started and where you wind up so you retrace your steps and get back to the start. Manual mode is what we use for geo-caching. It's waterproof. It's small enough to strap to a starter. But the battery life is only nine hours.

 

I was in bed reading the forums, but was intrigued enough to get up, get dressed and put it in the engine compartment of my car as far down as possible. It was able to get an accurate fix which really surprised me.

 

So the only problem I see here is the battery life... nine hours! J/S would have had to get from the resort to the facility within that time for the boys to have learned where he went.

 

LOL, well I have a GPS and a truck style vehicle too, but unlike CJ and Gary I have no intention of conducting this experiment :boy:

 

I will say that mine loses reception underground and often in parking garages, but it's kinda sporadic and sometimes she works when I don't expect her to.

 

My take on it would be that it would depend on the GPS. Chase's was quite nice and probably got good reception. So I'm not troubled by it.

 

I either missed or forgot that important detail. Yeah you can get a car battery adapter for the one I have. But there's still a somewhat limited number of waypoints it will record without manually switching to a new track. And there are a limited number of tracks.

As I recall the wiring and such was the main reason they needed Brandon and why they had to distract Jerry for so long.

 

 

Something else is bothering me. Is Helen really going to just accept a letter of resignation from the road manager without following up on it? Doesn't Adam have people outside the tour who will eventually notice he's missing? I think J/S screwed-up big time with this murder.

I'm sure he does, but presumably The Scar is counting on his plan for nuclear driven world domination to already be in effect by then.

 

it was a good chapter. Jerry goofed up big time. His letter will not be received by Helen until the band reaches LA. That means that Adam's absence may be noticed.

This was actually the thing that had bothered me the most as well. On the other hand I expect one of two things to happen. Either someone in Helen's office will simply forward the letter over to her (which seems the most likely). Or she won't get it till she gets to LA...but would she really miss him before then? Doesn't see expect him to be back in the states with the stuff? Would be checking up on him? I guess it's a maybe either way. But if she were checking up on him chances are she'd call the office to see if he'd attempted to contact them...then she'd hear about the letter. So either way it'll probably work out.

 

I know if I were Helen and I were out of the country and I had trouble contact an employee, one of the early steps I'd take would be to contact my office to see if they knew anything.

 

BTW, should I have gotten a little more inside Adam Creston's head in those final moments? I was trying to show that he really didn't have the ability to think, just react to the pain.

 

 

This was well done IMO. Adam is just a secondary character, whose sole narrative purpose is getting killed, but he's introduced enough to the reader so that the murder appears really evil.

Yes, I think the Adam backstory, thoughts, and feelings were sufficiently covered. I also took note that shortly before he was killed he referred to Jerry as something along the lines of "an annoying little queer". Perhaps to make him slightly less of a sympathetic character?

 

Anyway nice job, CJ :)

-Kevin

Edited by AFriendlyFace
Posted (edited)
Yes, I think the Adam backstory, thoughts, and feelings were sufficiently covered. I also took note that shortly before he was killed he referred to Jerry as something along the lines of "an annoying little queer". Perhaps to make him slightly less of a sympathetic character?

That reference let us know the two of them had dealings in the past. For such a minor and temporary character perhaps that's all we really needed to know about Adam. Also, in J/S case I think Adam's "annoying little queer" comment didn't make him slightly less of a sympathetic character. J/S is an annoying little, albeit fake little queer.

 

ADDED: One thing I keep forgetting to mention. Perhaps my initial comment was a bit harsh. I should have chosen a better word to describe what I felt was a chapter lacking in terms of the usual actions and emotions we usually see from a CJ story. I hope you all know I love The Goat. Feedback can't always be positive otherwise it would just be sucking up to the author. And ultimately that does the author a disservice.

Edited by GaryInMiami

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