[dkstories] Dawn of Tears

[elfcharm]

hey DK!

I have to say, I've become a big fan of yours over the last week, as I read all the do over stuff, and what's available of DOT.

I haven't started reading about Jarred, but that's next.

Anywho, all I really wanted to say was that DOT is amazing. Watching the ticking timebomb which is dylan is certainly an interesting experience.

I don't know how much I should say, as if I'm right I wouldn't want to ruin it for anyone, but I think the foreshadowing done on what I believe to be the impending division between dylan and the pres was a bit overdone. I have expected a certain sin since the very beginning, ever since dylan did not notice driving past his first dad, but it has certainly been interesting to see how much power he has developed since then. Every time I look, every chapter, seems to add more to the picture. Of course, the more C4, the more damage.

 

If you're not careful, I'll have you flogged till the story's done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wait...you might like that...

 

=)

Elf

[EMoe57]

Now here's a person after my own heart! He joined and immediately posted in DK's forum - on DOT no less!

 

If you're not careful, I'll have you flogged till the story's done.

wait...you might like that...

...and it sounds like he knows DK very well too!

[Charlies long lost twin]

Painfull suffering waiting and wondering reading over and over. Dang it would you post another chapter.

It is great and keeps the reader interested. ( Plus where do i get a set of those knicker weariung clones OOOOOOhhh just the thought ) Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

BTW thanks for doing it right it was a good completion for that phse of the story but where could you take it from there. SPIN OFF

[EMoe57]

Painfull suffering waiting and wondering reading over and over. Dang it would you post another chapter.

It is great and keeps the reader interested. ( Plus where do i get a set of those knicker weariung clones OOOOOOhhh just the thought ) Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

BTW thanks for doing it right it was a good completion for that phse of the story but where could you take it from there. SPIN OFF

I think you meant to post this in the DOH forum.

[Demetz]

*Gets down on his knees and begs for more Dawn of Tears

[old bob]

*Gets down on his knees and begs for more Dawn of Tears

Hi DK

I support Demetz

Old Bob

[Kadin]

Dan;

 

I have to apologize that it has taken me this long to read Dawn of Tears. I'd read everything else of yours I could find, so I finally sat down and got started on DoT. Once I got past your warnings, I really got entangled in Dylan's world and enjoyed the story. I won't harp on the abrupt ending, but I can hope that some day we'll see DoT part II continue the saga!

 

Kadin

[Invisible Neutrino]

I've also been reading DoT avidly since I came across it, and while also not wanting to spoil anything, I have to say a few things stood out for me as I stand at chapter 18 (and I'll come back when I'm done, too ) - first, Dylan's family seems to have mysteriously ALL disappeared and Dad Jacobs seems to have known what happened in each case. Given that the intial stages of Dad Jacob's introduction to Dylan revealed a slightly sinister and fanatic side to him, it niggles at me that he might have had something to do with them "disappearing".

 

Another thing - this "power", and the senior Jacobs's odd equanimity at seeing homosexual acts being done in front of him - what's that all about? Hmm.

 

Finally, just HOW long did he and his friends have this plan in the works? To have been spending years planning against the faint likelihood of a possible catastrophe seems unbelievable. Did he have Henry working for him already? 'Cause his rise in the ranks was pretty fast...!

[Rilbur]

first, Dylan's family seems to have mysteriously ALL disappeared and Dad Jacobs seems to have known what happened in each case. Given that the intial stages of Dad Jacob's introduction to Dylan revealed a slightly sinister and fanatic side to him, it niggles at me that he might have had something to do with them "disappearing".

Agreed. It's possible that we're looking at the random hand of chance -- a lot of people died in that time frame -- but... who knows.

 

Finally, just HOW long did he and his friends have this plan in the works? To have been spending years planning against the faint likelihood of a possible catastrophe seems unbelievable.

From what I read of the series, they were planning against a disaster they saw coming, for the entire system to 'fall apart' as it were. When the disaster happened, they were just lucky enough to have planned ahead, and were able to use it.

[Invisible Neutrino]

Ok, I got to the end. Chapter 33 was rather... sudden

 

But at least the basics are now revealed - Dylan and Henry, among others, were products of a high-risk experiment designed to induce mental powers in human beings. Since the basic origin of it is electromagnetic, it stands to reason that they can interfere with the electromagnetic patterns of other peoples' brains. Thus the various mechanisms of control.

 

Also revealed are that two power-hungry teens manipulated the pre-Crisis world leaders and plunged the planet into nuclear war. Only the sheer chaos that followed probably prevented them from carrying through their plan, as did some fortuitous chance (as revealed when President Jacobs refused to fly to the Middle East and instead made bellicose threats the first time).

 

Now I think I read somewhere on a different thread that in fact President Jacobs was directly complicit in the deaths of Dylan's family. The question is, why? Did he want two manipulators at his hand instead of one? There is some back story here that has still not been revealed and I look forward to seeing what gets shown to us if ever the story is taken back up.

 

I have to say, I really like the way this story didn't compartmentalize characters into little boxes. President Jacobs was obviously deeply religious, had his vindictive side, but was open-minded enough to realize that orthodox right-wing ideology would not, or could not, continue to carry the day in a world so drastically transformed in which every bite of food, every kilowatt-hour of electricity, every drop of fuel, had to be tightly rationed and controlled by the decisions of the government, and in which money has become worthless either because a stopgap was to simply print enough money to meet the immediate demands of government, or because of the outright collapse of the banking system (or both).

 

And yet, even people who are willing to be flexible and pragmatic in their approach to politics and economics can have far-reaching agendas that have little to do with respecting religious freedom, as it's clear the President wishes to establish a de facto theocracy in the USA.

 

Corollary: It's interesting how Dylan's thoughts seem to be almost exclusively focussed on God as a prime mover or originator for his existence and it strikes me as a bit odd that he would be so fervent, even given that he had experienced repeated traumas in his teenage life. It's also a bit worrisome, IMO, that his thoughts started warping along the same lines as his 'fellow travellers'; as benign as he thinks establishing religious law in the United States might be, it's still placing one branch of one religion prime above all else, and in the process he also is starting to feel contempt for those he feels are too inferior to him.

 

I'm reminded quite vividly of Khan Noonien Singh, one of the perpetrators of the Star Trek era Eugenics Wars. Much of his thinking ran along the same lines: that he and his fellow-supermen were destined to rule and he saw himself as benevolent.

 

Definitely fascinating as a story. I'd almost want to write a book report on it, except I'd have no-one to give me a grade

Edited May 17, 2010 by Invisible Neutrino

[dkstories]

Oh sure, make me go back and read a story I haven't touched in a long time and get my fingers itching again...

 

I like a wide variety of characters, and the DoT characters satisfied that desire. Also, I grew up loving end-of-the-world sci-fi stories, so I got to include some of my most favorite elements in this one. Stories like Alas, Babylon and Dhalgren come right to mind as some of the inspiriations for this story.

 

Also, I think Invisible Neutrino hit it right on the head when he compared Dylan & company to Khan Noonien Singh. Khan was the best villain, in my opinion, and with Dylan I wanted to show how a person could develop towards that mentality. Obviously, somewhere along the way, he chose to go a different path than Khan. Then again, maybe he just never met a James T. Kirk.

 

Now, if only someone hadn't pissed me off I wrote a quick ending and put the story away instead of working around roadblocks...

 

Then again, DoT was the story that really taught me to finish the story before publishing the first chapter...which is probably where there are about a dozen stories on flash drives in the house that were started and never finished.

[Tiger]

Dawn of Tears was the first story of yours that I read, Dan. I have avoided discussion about it up until now, because I was mad, very mad about it for a long time, the ending that is. I can understand getting frustrating with readers, but at the same time, it was really not a good way that it turned out that way. It was a good story from what I remember, but it was no less disappointing in the end. As a reader, it really upset me. As an author, I can understand the frustration.

[Rilbur]

Then again, DoT was the story that really taught me to finish the story before publishing the first chapter...which is probably where there are about a dozen stories on flash drives in the house that were started and never finished.

 

I can understand that... just wish this story hadn't been the victim, as it were.

[EMoe57]

Now, if only someone hadn't pissed me off I wrote a quick ending and put the story away instead of working around roadblocks...

 

Does this mean there is a glimmer of hope this story might get attention some day?!?

 

 

Then again, DoT was the story that really taught me to finish the story before publishing the first chapter...which is probably where there are about a dozen stories on flash drives in the house that were started and never finished.

 

DK/Robert, don't mind me when I drop in unexpectedly. I'll just sit quietly in a corner with my netbook and all the flash drives I can find at your house!

 

 

As a reader, it really upset me. As an author, I can understand the frustration.

 

I can understand that... just wish this story hadn't been the victim, as it were.

 

You both hit the nail on the head for how I felt when it happened.

[J.T.]

Why would he die if he can regrow body parts?

 

What happened to their respective circles?

 

Why or how was James Jacobs killed by a nuclear bomb?

 

Who initiated Rebuilder if Jacobs Sr was killed?

 

What went wrong in the government that warranted it to be thrown over?

 

Why was Dylan secluded off from the public?

 

Why the ending?! I'm pissed, but this isn't a gripe, these are more like questions for Dan so he could perhaps get an idea and work on a better Chapter 33 or start a sequel altogether.

 

Thanks for another series, Dan!

Edited January 18, 2011 by fmd

[Rilbur]

Why the ending?! I'm pissed, but this isn't a gripe, these are more like questions for Dan so he could perhaps get an idea and work on a better Chapter 33 or start a sequel altogether.

He stated it elsewhere but basically he got pissed off at the reaction he received, and quit writing. It's a loss, I'll agree, but at this date I don't think we can hold out for a 'fix'.

 

Edit: Oh, he said it about four posts up. Woops.

Edited January 18, 2011 by Rilbur

[Trebs]

Even before the one really bad reaction, Dan knew where he wanted to go, and tried a HUGE number of times to get there, but never could get it to go in a way he liked. While not my favorite of his stories, I did like it a lot and also regretted not seeing where it was going to go next - but that's also the benefit and curse of online writing - you get to read some incredible stories and plots that may or may not see completion. Overall though (and ya, I'm biased) - I think Dan has a great track record of completions... but then again, part of it is his unwillingness to share anything until he at least has a decent start on things. I don't even get to see stories that can't make it out of three chapters.

[mmike1969]

Roadblocks... I know the feeling...

 

Straight-up: I am/was writing fan fiction to both Do Over and Rider's Pride. I hit a brick wall on both stories and because of plotline I wrote I can NOT continue with the way it was written. Had I started to publish either story, I would of wound up with about 20 chapters and then stopped.

 

that was over a year ago and I still can't figure out a decent way over the wall without going off established dkstories cannon.

 

so a full re-write is in order...

 

too bad some people can't understand that writing a story takes time and if you hit a bump in the plot, it might take a while to get over that bump.

[TalonRider]

Maybe the brick wall for Riders Pride is, Dan's version is based on The Dragonrider's of Pern by Anne McCaffrey.

[TimGRmich]

I just started diving into the GA site & met some very friendly & helpful people. they recommended i give "Vampire Jared" a try. it's premium & i'm on a paycheck-to-paycheck type budget, so figured i would definitely get it soon, and in the mean time, would read an available one of your stories. i read DOT & just finished (my new Kindle makes me want to read more & i'm happy not to resist the temptation). i can't believe after all that reading how pitiful the ending was. ;-) but then what came to mind was my love of watching west wing for the seasons it was on. even tho i did enjoy the ending on that one, i realized, what really made it for me was all the intricacies of each episode, what with character development, a myriad of plots running around and into each other in each 60 minute treat, etc. so even if the ending had NOT been good, i would still have enjoyed the show thoroughly because of the entire journey, and i won't let a less-than-satisfying destination keep me from recalling just how enjoyable each leg of the journey was. so thanks (i guess) for DOT, and if you really did end that abruptly because of the insistence of the readers that you end it, you should have taken a more deified approach -- given them what they needed instead of what they wanted, what you knew was best for them instead of what they demanded. ;-p

i hope this finds you doing well, and i look forward to the soon beginning of Vampire Jared. i just jumped on the GA site, talked with a few, and "kindled" a whole bunch of stories about 10 days ago and have been staying away from the site since: so much to read, so few hours to do so. but, it's all good.

all the best.

Tim

[Trebs]

Thanks for the comments Tim - I'll make sure that Dan sees them.

[J.T.]

I just started diving into the GA site & met some very friendly & helpful people. they recommended i give "Vampire Jared" a try. it's premium & i'm on a paycheck-to-paycheck type budget, so figured i would definitely get it soon, and in the mean time, would read an available one of your stories. i read DOT & just finished (my new Kindle makes me want to read more & i'm happy not to resist the temptation). i can't believe after all that reading how pitiful the ending was. ;-) but then what came to mind was my love of watching west wing for the seasons it was on. even tho i did enjoy the ending on that one, i realized, what really made it for me was all the intricacies of each episode, what with character development, a myriad of plots running around and into each other in each 60 minute treat, etc. so even if the ending had NOT been good, i would still have enjoyed the show thoroughly because of the entire journey, and i won't let a less-than-satisfying destination keep me from recalling just how enjoyable each leg of the journey was. so thanks (i guess) for DOT, and if you really did end that abruptly because of the insistence of the readers that you end it, you should have taken a more deified approach -- given them what they needed instead of what they wanted, what you knew was best for them instead of what they demanded. ;-p

i hope this finds you doing well, and i look forward to the soon beginning of Vampire Jared. i just jumped on the GA site, talked with a few, and "kindled" a whole bunch of stories about 10 days ago and have been staying away from the site since: so much to read, so few hours to do so. but, it's all good.

all the best.

Tim

 

Tim,

 

Dan's got a few really awesome stories on GA that are free. I'm still not a premium member, but I've thoroughly enjoyed every other book he's written. While yes, you may add me to the hundreds of names who wished Dan didn't end the story with the way he ended up ending the story (...yes there's some anger in there still after all this time) I really think you should give Dan's free stories a good read and then begin saving for a premium subscription. Just remember that a premium subscription opens up every other premium story on GA as well during that purchased timeframe. There are plenty of other quality authors on my GA... feel free to give it a shot!

 

~Jay

[TimGRmich]

Tim,

 

Dan's got a few really awesome stories on GA that are free. I'm still not a premium member, but I've thoroughly enjoyed every other book he's written. While yes, you may add me to the hundreds of names who wished Dan didn't end the story with the way he ended up ending the story (...yes there's some anger in there still after all this time) I really think you should give Dan's free stories a good read and then begin saving for a premium subscription. Just remember that a premium subscription opens up every other premium story on GA as well during that purchased timeframe. There are plenty of other quality authors on my GA... feel free to give it a shot!

 

~Jay

 

[TimGRmich]

thanks, jay, for taking the time to reply. i've run into a bunch of nice & helpful people on this site already, and it's nice to "kinda" meet another.

i have found a number of DK's free stories, have downloaded them to kindle, and look forward to reading them. the only problem is, now that i've jumped into the site & decided to read more, well ... so many stories, so little time. ;-) and then the summer anthology just came out ... and then i found a bunch of freebies on the amazon kindle site, and ... well, you get the picture.

i hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend, and thanks again for your suggestions.

[J.T.]

Omg...someone teach me how to download stories into my droid without using the browser? Lol