What do you like about being gay?

[GaryK]

This is an attitude that is sometimes expressed by victims of child sexual abuse. While some vics turn into sex addicts, others want nothing to do with sex.

Not all of us turn into sex addicts!

Vic, I think you overlooked James' first sentence.

 

I refuse to call myself a victim, but I did suffer the fate of incestuous child abuse. I am neither a sex addict or an abstainer. I think that's because when I turned 16 I fell deeply in love with someone who would become my partner of 17 years. He taught me there were other outlets for the guilt and shame I felt than having sex with anything that had a hole in it. In a way he gave me back my humanity and I shall forever be grateful to him for that.

[AFriendlyFace]

What I like about being gay...

(Is this one of the essay titles you get at school nowadays? When I was at school we got relatively boring titles like 'What I did on my vacation' or 'Why I must stop talking in class'.)

 

Okay....

1) I get to have sex with men without feeling guilty. (I know that lots of str8 guys also have sex with men, but IME they usually feel guilty afterwards)

2) It's like being a member of a select club - I'm not one of those 'average' plebs.

3) Society has fewer expectations about my relationships. i.e. my partner (if I have one) and I can choose to live together, apart, have a commitment ceremony, or none of those things and no one will say 'when are you going to settle down and start a family?'

 

There are other things I like too, but it's after midnight here and way past my bed time.

 

Kit

 

Vic, I think you overlooked James' first sentence.

 

I refuse to call myself a victim, but I did suffer the fate of incestuous child abuse. I am neither a sex addict or an abstainer. I think that's because when I turned 16 I fell deeply in love with someone who would become my partner of 17 years. He taught me there were other outlets for the guilt and shame I felt than having sex with anything that had a hole in it. In a way he gave me back my humanity and I shall forever be grateful to him for that.

 

[Jonnie]

OED defines misogyny as 'the hatred of women', from Greek misos = hatred and gune = woman. (Funny btw that there's no corresponding word for hatred of men -- misanthropy, of course, means 'hatred of humankind'.) So yeah, if you define yourself as a misogynist people may think that you hate women, while really you're more of a misanthropist. Which is more acceptable, of course, since then you don't single out one group, but dislike the company of all humans equally.

 

There is, though: misandry (misos = hatred and andres = man). So they were fair when they made up words like these.

 

And thanks for the misanthropy part; I guess I just don't think through these things enough.

[Razor]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25272678/

 

I believe this is a really, really good reason. Wow.

[NaperVic]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25272678/

 

I believe this is a really, really good reason. Wow.

 

What The...?

 

You know, when I see someone do something stupid I think 'Natural Selection will get them', but these bozo's are breeding!

[Drewbie]

Do any of these kids actualy took care of babies before making this crazy decision. now these guys also going to have to pay support.

 

it cracked me up when they had to mention Brittany Spears sister and the juno affect.

[Tiger]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25272678/

 

I believe this is a really, really good reason. Wow.

Good grief. Those girls should be spayed. It definitely makes me like being gay just a little bit more. I know that if I have a kid it will be planned, and I will have a say.

[vike]

I like that I'm in better shape and dress better than your average 39yo hetero guy

 

I like that there's no pressure to have kids and that most of my income is spent on me ( ) and that it's not being sucked away feeding/housing/caring for offspring.

 

When I was in a relationship, it was fun basically doubling your wardrobe because you got to share your same sex partner's clothing.

 

These are just a few of my favourite things (about being gay).

 

Take Care

[Graeme]

Welcome, Vike!

I have to agree with this one, no kids is a big benefit. As gay people we have time to study more or volunteer more. I do both. I work as both treasurer and warden of my church and I have educated myself in history, international relations, and other subjects. Not having to worry about kids leaves us free to improve ourselves in ways that straight people with families rarely have time for. No one else in church has the time to do what I do because they all have kids.

Kids DO take up a lot of time. They have their benefits, too, but there's no doubting that not having kids gives you more time to do other things.

 

I also love the fact that I don't have to buy clothes, I just wear what my partner buys. He has good taste in clothes and we are both the same size so we both wear them all.

I don't buy clothes, either. My wife buys them for me

 

The third thing I like about being gay is that I don't have to deal with the whole emotional woman thing. I don't see how some guys do it. :wacko:

No comment, just in case my wife wanders along and reads this

 

Finally I love the fact that where ever I go I have family. I can go to a bar or any gay group in a new place and suddenly I can make friends and have some company. There are gay B&B's and groups and all kinds of places to meet people. It doesn't have to be sexual, its up to you.

I understand what you mean. I haven't really experienced it much myself, but I've heard of others who have said the same thing. Just being around people you're comfortable with is a great feeling.

 

Thanks for a great first post, Vike!

[AFriendlyFace]

I have to agree with this one, no kids is a big benefit. As gay people we have time to study more or volunteer more. I do both. I work as both treasurer and warden of my church and I have educated myself in history, international relations, and other subjects. Not having to worry about kids leaves us free to improve ourselves in ways that straight people with families rarely have time for. No one else in church has the time to do what I do because they all have kids.

 

I also love the fact that I don't have to buy clothes, I just wear what my partner buys. He has good taste in clothes and we are both the same size so we both wear them all.

 

The third thing I like about being gay is that I don't have to deal with the whole emotional woman thing. I don't see how some guys do it. :wacko:

 

Finally I love the fact that where ever I go I have family. I can go to a bar or any gay group in a new place and suddenly I can make friends and have some company. There are gay B&B's and groups and all kinds of places to meet people. It doesn't have to be sexual, its up to you.

 

Vike

 

Hey Vike

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

For the most part i would readily agree with everything you said! Except for the part about dealing with an emotional woman. I don't think that's necessarily accurate. Perhaps you 'lucked out' and your partner is pretty stable and calm emotionally, but believe me there are quite a few highly emotional gay guys out there!

 

On the other hand given the choice between a stereotypical overly emotional gay male or straight woman, or an emotionally repressed straight male, I'd take the emotional gay male/straight woman any time! Please note, I'm not saying I believe these stereotypes, only giving my preference assuming the stereotypes are true. I'd rather deal with someone who is open and honest about their emotions, albeit vociferously, than someone with whom I could never tell what he was thinking and feeling, and who, worse yet, might not know himself! (I'm definitely not implying that your partner is like latter! I'm just taking extreme examples and expressing my personal preference )

 

Of course I admit that I'm a bit turned off and bored with straight males. I feel very prejudiced saying that, but I just find that I usually have the most difficulty empathizing with them (I can roughly understand them in most cases, but it's usually hard to identify), and I'm often bored in conversations with them. I don't think it actually has that much to do with the subject matter either. I suspect I could talk about the same things with straight women or gay males and enjoy the conversation more. I think it has to do with how they express themselves and communicate in general versus just simple interests.

 

Naturally the perfect balance is lesbians!

 

 

Anyway, as I said, I don't believe those things about all demographics in every case. I'm just expressing my opinion about the stereotypes that abound and what I've experienced in a slight majority of cases.

 

Take care all,

Kevin

[Benji]

Of course I admit that I'm a bit turned off and bored with straight males. I feel very prejudiced saying that, but I just find that I usually have the most difficulty empathizing with them (I can roughly understand them in most cases, but it's usually hard to identify), and I'm often bored in conversations with them. I don't think it actually has that much to do with the subject matter either. I suspect I could talk about the same things with straight women or gay males and enjoy the conversation more. I think it has to do with how they express themselves and communicate in general versus just simple interests.

 

Naturally the perfect balance is lesbians!

 

.........I suspect it may be a two-way street and the boring str8 guys may feel uncomfortable in talking with a gay guy, on the other hand "the perfect balance is lesbians" ROFLMAO!! that is not only funny, but true! I have a heck of a good time talking to them!!

[Tiger]

Not having kids is actually a disadvantage. I really want to have children someday. I know it can be done, but finding a good womb donor one can trust is certainly not an easy task. I do consider adoption a good alternative, but some states don't allow it.

[corvus]

I've never totally liked being gay. It's not to say I'm ashamed of it, I'm just not proud of it, and don't find it too important. I really don't like the connotation of being gay, and I'm glad don't fit nearly any of the gay stereotypes I've heard (well, I heard listening to classical music was a stereotype, but I think that stereotype has no basis at all: how is that a gay thing?).

 

Anyway, if there's anything I do find good about it, it's the fact I don't have to deal with women unless I absolutely have to. I want meaningful relationships

[AFriendlyFace]

.........I suspect it may be a two-way street and the boring str8 guys may feel uncomfortable in talking with a gay guy

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of that. I don't think that's the whole story though. While I'm 'proud and out-loud', I don't walk about in rainbow gear most of the time, and while it's very easy for gay people to pick me out, I often 'pass' in straight society without trying - I'd personally find it a bit objectionable to my sense of my since of self if I tried to pass - they just obviously assumed I was straight (well most people are) based on the questions and comments made. So I think they were being themselves. On the other hand though I'm a firm believe in people feeding off each other's moods and energies so perhaps they sensed my boredom and behaved differently.

 

Thanks for giving me something interesting to ponder, Benji. I'll mercifully spare you all having to read my further ponderings on the issue, but I'll continue to reflect on it privately.

 

Not having kids is actually a disadvantage. I really want to have children someday. I know it can be done, but finding a good womb donor one can trust is certainly not an easy task.

A good point, Tim. It would indeed be unfortunate and deeply upsetting if after she took the bun from the oven she decided to keep it at her own table!

 

I, too, consider myself more a "homosexual" man than a "gay" man. Gay has negative connotations. Gay is a word your little brother uses in place of "stupid." Being called "gay" endangers your masculinity. In this day and age, homosexual is a sight more neutral. On the other hand, I like being able to say to myself, "Oh, well, I *am* gay" when I think a particularly gay thought (e.g. I love these curtains!).

Wow!

 

This is like the exact opposite of the way I think about the terms. I don't particularly like being called a 'homosexual' at all and to me it has negative connotations whereas gay is affirming. I guess there's a huge range of personal connotations and variables at play here!

 

About sexual impulse in general, I, too, would be very tempted if someone gave me an "asexuality" pill. If it weren't for a fact that I find asexuality to be freakish, I might take it. There've been many times when I've thought, Jesus-bloody-Christ, all this lust is such a waste of time -- why can't I focus on more important things like science, art, etc.? I can imagine, though, the sexual impulse as a celebration of humanity -- that's what it's rooted in, after all: procreation, the carrying on of being human. But I have personally experienced that elevated sort of feeling a grand total of zero times, so it's all conjecture to me.

I enjoy my sexuality, and not just my homosexuality, but my 'sexualness' in general. It's a great source of physical and emotional fulfillment I think. I rarely find myself sexually frustrated because I tend to express my sexual feelings and nature fairly often. Granted I've been in the position of really wanting sex and being preoccupied before, but my solution was fairly straightforward: I had sex. I suppose it's often more complicated than that though.

 

Once again I find myself enjoying this topic

Take care all and have a great day!

Kevin

[ashessnow]

If I appeared to be jumping down his throat, I didn't mean to. Sorry about that Nerotrob.

I could say . . . nah, too easy.

[Tipdin]

Can we print answers to that question?

 

You mean besides the OBVIOUS?! Like the menz? WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

 

I'm being flippant, but for me, there really isn't much difference between being straight and gay. All the same rules and regulations apply. All the same responsibilities and goals.

 

I see more cons than pros, sorry. The invisibility and prejudice really hampers a gay person's life.

 

The things I like about being gay would probably be censored if I tried to enumerate them. Other than that, I don't see how something is ABOUT being gay. There are many things I like, but there is a so-called equivalent in the straight world. A gay bar. A gay novel. A gay romantic film.

 

My life has been very much like that of most men, working, dating, raising kids, and planning for the future. Maybe I'm so integrated into the 'normal' world that I don't understand the question... Even my gay friends tell me that I make a terrible gay person so I guess I'm an outsider inside my own group.

 

I cringe when I hear Patsy Kline, I don't own a single Judy Garland CD, I have no interest in... A HA! I know what I like about being gay that is unique to us...

 

How do I say this without sounding VERY naughty? NOT THAT I PARTAKE IN THESE SITUATIONS.... I like that so many men are so willing to enjoy the company of other men in whatever location they may find themselves; i.e. steam room, nude beach, bathroom, movie theater. Straight or gay, men like a good wank and it's SO easy to find company for such activity.

 

I used to manage a health club and I was required to break up the 'intimate activity' in the steam rooms or wherever. I would see the same guys come down from the locker rooms and join their wife and kids before leaving! So I guess that would be the thing I like about being gay, that it seems that SOO VERY MANY men, who are supposedly straight, will indulge in sex with another man.

 

I don't know, that's all I can come up with, sorry.

[DragonFire]

Men, simple as that. I like the look and feel of a guy, stubble included as well as other bonus parts!

[KJames]

Men, simple as that. I like the look and feel of a guy, stubble included as well as other bonus parts!

 

Of course, there are clean shaven guys--above the neck--but they have stubble elsewhere!

[Hoskins]

I like to look at the dudes. If I was straight and was looking at the dudes, people would look at me weird. Since I'm gay, it's no big deal.

 

What?

Edited July 8, 2009 by Hoskins

[DragonFire]

I like to look at the dudes. If I was straight and was looking at the dudes, people would look at me weird. Since I'm gay, it's no big deal.

 

What?

 

You must stare really blatantly! And just window shopping, you never go into buy now and again?

[Prince Duchess]

Honestly, whats not to love about it. I mean we here arent afraid to admit what we like, how we like it. Were not scared to be with another person in public. Its very difficult to come out of the closet but once your out its lke a big weight off your shoulders. Honestly, your gay friends re the realest friends in the world they give you they're opinion regardless of how you feel about it. And thats honestly what friends are for.

[C.L.L]

I mean we here arent afraid to admit what we like, how we like it. Were not scared to be with another person in public. Its very difficult to come out of the closet but once your out its lke a big weight off your shoulders. Honestly, your gay friends re the realest friends in the world they give you they're opinion regardless of how you feel about it.

 

thats a stereotype.

 

being with a guy doesnt make me feel any different than being straight except people tend to ask more questions.

Edited July 10, 2009 by C.L.L

[KJames]

thats a stereotype.

 

being with a guy doesnt make me feel any different than being straight except people tend to ask more questions.

 

That is, of course, if they get over their apoplexy long enough to think of a question...

[Aeroplane]

I like it because there are actually less expectations for me of how I should behave. I dont have to pretend to be a womanising, lecherous football loving pervert that I often see straight men acting as. It goes without saying that there are exceptions to that. I can just be 'normal', myself, and most people will attribute it to my sexuality but actually, no, its just that other people have corrupted their expections of male 'normality'. I am more normal than they are.

I also like being able to explore different sides of me, feminine and masculine. It would be much harder to do that and get away with it were I straight. I also enjoy the freedom to tell offensive jokes about this minority we belong to. The shock turning to laughter on people's faces that a gay man would tell such a joke is great.

 

Plus, I like being fabulous!

[Former Member]

Like other people also say, I like being somewhat unique. And I like the faces of people when I tell them I'm not straight:devil: The looks they give me are just priceless^^

 

I agree to what Prince Duchess says: its very difficult to come out of the closet but once your out its like a big weight off your shoulders. Honestly, your gay friends are the realest friends in the world they give you their opinion regardless of how you feel about it. And that's honestly what friends are for.

 

So true! Two of my friends are also bisexual and they are, like, the best friends I've ever had. And indeed, once you're 'out', everything seems to be a lot easier. Well, not everything, but you know what I mean^^