Boy Toys: How Old Should They Be?

[Mark Arbour]

In another thread, the issue of "boy toys", or trophy partners, came up in a roundabout way. In the heterosexual world, a straight man in his 60's or beyond may well acquire a trophy wife in her mid-20's. Do you think the same would hold true of older gay men? Or do you think even with trophy partners, the age is relative to the older partner. In other words, would a 60 year old guy find a twink, or someone 25 years younger?

[Tiger]

I think old people dating young adults that are young enough to be their grand children is the nastiest thing ever. I know that probably sounds closed minded, and it is, but that's how I feel. I would not date a senior citizen at my current age. I have nothing in common with someone that old and usually find them unattractive. I chose within 25 years of my age and an optimal age difference of 15 years. 15 years age difference is definitely my personal maximum. I said within 25 because that was the lowest available number.

Edited August 9, 2010 by Tiger

[methodwriter85]

I think old people dating young adults that are young enough to be their grand children is the nastiest thing ever. I know that probably sounds closed minded, and it is, but that's how I feel. I would not date a senior citizen at my current age. I have nothing in common with someone that old and usually find them unattractive. I chose within 25 years of my age and an optimal age difference of 15 years. 15 years age difference is definitely my personal maximum. I said within 25 because that was the lowest available number.

 

I have to admit, while the "comedy of errors" that lead JP into having sex with Matt was funny, I was also pretty disgusted that a guy in his 60's would have sex with a teenager. Even without knowing that Matt was his grandson, I still think it's gross for an 18-year old to have sex with a 62-year old, even if that 62-year old only looks like he's in his late 40's.

Edited August 9, 2010 by methodwriter85

[JamesSavik]

Don't want a boy toy. Nobody can afford them.

 

You'll end up with maxed out credit cards and the "boi toy" with the far-away-eyes will be off with the nearest truck driver that he can find.

[Westie]

screw ages. Get the yougest, sexiest piece of arm candy you can, and have the ride of your life. Life is too short to mess around worrying about age differences. Of course, once they hit their eearly 20's, experience is also a factor

[Benji]

screw ages. Get the yougest, sexiest piece of arm candy you can, and have the ride of your life. Life is too short to mess around worrying about age differences. Of course, once they hit their eearly 20's, experience is also a factor

 

............Tough subject guys! I can never truly think of a 'kid' in that way other then in my dreams, yet they (dreams) are always being with me as the same age group with them. Hell I know I much older, but I'm not interested into a kid unless he is past 25 or so. But it won't happen anyways

[Mark Arbour]

I think old people dating young adults that are young enough to be their grand children is the nastiest thing ever. I know that probably sounds closed minded, and it is, but that's how I feel. I would not date a senior citizen at my current age. I have nothing in common with someone that old and usually find them unattractive. I chose within 25 years of my age and an optimal age difference of 15 years. 15 years age difference is definitely my personal maximum. I said within 25 because that was the lowest available number.

 

I think you should stick with the 25, just in case we get to hook up someday.

 

 

I have to admit, while the "comedy of errors" that lead JP into having sex with Matt was funny, I was also pretty disgusted that a guy in his 60's would have sex with a teenager. Even without knowing that Matt was his grandson, I still think it's gross for an 18-year old to have sex with a 62-year old, even if that 62-year old only looks like he's in his late 40's.

 

Gross? Nasty? That's some pretty judgmental crap you guys are throwing down.

[Tiger]

I think you should stick with the 25, just in case we get to hook up someday.

Are you as hot as Brad Pitt?

[Hoskins]

The rule I've always thought appropriate is to take your age, divide by two and add seven. Anything under that is "creepytown"

 

 

So I'm 47 / 2 = 23.5 + 7 = 30 or 31.

 

Corollary: there is some 87 year old dude out there who wants to rock my world. I say if there's an 87 year old out there who can handle it... <G>

 

Also, there are some smokin hot 40 year olds I'd call a boy toy anyday.

[Westie]

Jeeze guys....

 

Theres no magic formula - theres no hard and fast rulke...

 

 

The fact is, if you can attract it - go for it. Lifes too short to worry about numbers. And life is FAR too short to worry about those judgemental people around us think.

 

 

[phana14]

Jeeze guys....

 

Theres no magic formula - theres no hard and fast rulke...

 

 

The fact is, if you can attract it - go for it. Lifes too short to worry about numbers. And life is FAR too short to worry about those judgemental people around us think.

 

 

Westie dude?I really liked all of the answers so far (except for the *punk* who thinks us *mellow-men* are "gross". p

HOWEVER! I liked yours the most! Life is indeed way too short to warrant placing restrictions on partnerships.

Thanks.

[Nephylim]

I voted for my personal preference. My last husband (and I only have two exes and both are still alive) is nine years younger than me and, to be perfectly honest there were many times when it felt like I was bringing up an extra child. I've done the eye candy thing and I want someone who is stable, independent and who can support me emotionally and physically... I dont mean I want a sugar daddy/mamma who is going to lavish money on me.. I mean someone who will pay for dinner now and again and who will contribute to the cost of holidays etc.

 

Having said that... I hate labels and limits and I don't put people in boxed. So if a hot twenty year old came along with a mind to match his body and who is half blind and slightly insane (he would have to be to be interested in me ;p ) then I'd go for it. On the other hand if someone who was older, maybe even consierably older (don't know about 87 I don't think they would keep up with the kinky sex) came along then I would be just as happy.

 

 

[JamesSavik]

Just don't be this guy:

 

< 12 is too old

[Hoskins]

Well, to clarify my post a bit, I don't judge other people's relationships. The age/2+*7 is a good rule of thumb for me, it seems to track with my experiences.

[Tipdin]

I'm almost in the 65 or older group, and I think I might be a trophy husband. My partner is 21 years older than I. When we met, I was a 20 year old model and dancer so I was in pretty good physical condition.

 

If two people like each other, go for it!

 

Usually, people with a dramatic age difference don't have a lot in common, however, my partner and I have a great deal in common. Sex with each was never part of our relationship but we were good friends.

 

My partner is young at heart and I tend to be an old soul. I had several friends in similar situations. Some of the situations (I think) were strictly an older man keeping a younger man - who was hoping to inherit his partner's money. My partner and I were on fairly equal financial terms, and I tend to be a tightwad with money so I'm usually the one complaining about spending money.

 

We have an understanding that I will make sure he's comfortable at the end of his life, then our investments will be used to make sure that I can afford the care I will need to make sure my own last days are comfortable. Once I die, the sister and niece of my partner's ex will inherit my estate. The sister and niece have been like family to me, I'm happy to make them my beneficiaries.

 

If an old fart and a young stud WANT to be together, why not? Chances are slim, USUALLY, but it does happen from time to time. I think what weirds people out is the pictures they have in their heads of sexual situations. You don't know for sure that sex is even a part of their situation - if it is though, to each his own!

[phana14]

I'm almost in the 65 or older group, and I think I might be a trophy husband. My partner is 21 years older than I. When we met, I was a 20 year old model and dancer so I was in pretty good physical condition.

 

If two people like each other, go for it!

 

Usually, people with a dramatic age difference don't have a lot in common, however, my partner and I have a great deal in common. Sex with each was never part of our relationship but we were good friends.

 

My partner is young at heart and I tend to be an old soul. I had several friends in similar situations. Some of the situations (I think) were strictly an older man keeping a younger man - who was hoping to inherit his partner's money. My partner and I were on fairly equal financial terms, and I tend to be a tightwad with money so I'm usually the one complaining about spending money.

 

We have an understanding that I will make sure he's comfortable at the end of his life, then our investments will be used to make sure that I can afford the care I will need to make sure my own last days are comfortable. Once I die, the sister and niece of my partner's ex will inherit my estate. The sister and niece have been like family to me, I'm happy to make them my beneficiaries.

 

If an old fart and a young stud WANT to be together, why not? Chances are slim, USUALLY, but it does happen from time to time. I think what weirds people out is the pictures they have in their heads of sexual situations. You don't know for sure that sex is even a part of their situation - if it is though, to each his own!

Mister Tipdin sir,

You continue to amaze me! I want that you can continue with your partner into eternity! Forever and EVER!

I SO love meeting the people here at GA!

What you said about people having certain *ideas* about sex in a relationship is well taken. I have said elsewhere that "Love without sex IS possible", and I very much believe that!

I love you, Mister Tipdin, as I am sure everyone here at GA does!

Who would dare not to love a person such as yourself!

[Mark Arbour]

I'm pretty amazed at some of the responses, both good and bad. I didn't realize that age limits, once someone was beyond the age of consent, were more important than love, lust, or infatuation.

 

A relationship is a give and take thing. A young guy may be with an older guy, enduring his saggy body and less-than-contemporary tastes in music, but in return, he may be getting things that he needs. A father figure substitute. Money. A stable relationship. A more mature partner. If the equation falls out of whack, then the relationship should/will end.

 

What's wrong with that?

[methodwriter85]

Sometimes it can work, but most of the time, you've got two people in two different life stages, and it doesn't work. Twenty seems reasonable, but forty or fifty years....man...

[Tipdin]

Believe it or not, SOME gay men actually do NOT put physical beauty as their number one priority. No matter how handsome a bloke is, eventually, looks will go. What will you be left with then?

 

My ass slide down into my thighs. My pecks became breasts. My pitch black beard is snow white. The three foot long braid of hair used to be thick and brown, now, what's left is short, thin, and gray. My super hairy legs are going bald and....and....and....

 

But my AMAZING personality more than makes up for my maladies... ;-) ...really!

 

I've also learned a few things over the past five or so decades. I still drool over cute boys, however; an older man knows so many things that most younger men just cannot understand or imagine or want to deal with. Of course, just because I'm an old fart doesn't mean I know all there is to know. But I'm confident enough in myself to be able to deal with most situations.

 

I can tell a 25 year old boss to go -F- himself because I have enough education and experience to get another job. (And savings to tide me over until I find the RIGHT job.) I climbed the ladders, did the corporate thing, played the games. I don't need to hurry through life anymore. I don't need to prove my sexual prowess or compete with someone else's. I can spend a day completely alone and not be lonely. I can still enjoy wobbling on the dance floor and not care that everyone is waiting for me to drop dead while they chuckle at the old man trying to be young.

 

I can tell off anyone that needs it and they actually let me since I'm old enough to be their dad or grand dad.... I can take my friends to a fancy dinner or to a theater and not have to worry about paying for it, or what people might think of me being out with my 400 pound friend or my 20 year old flaming friend. I can tell that kid in the grocery store to shut the fluck up - and the parents - and be taken seriously.

 

At 19 there's no way I would have or could have done those things - I wasn't in a position to do any or them. But at 19 or 20, I wouldn't have WANTED to know what I know now. It would have meant that I wouldn't have had the adventures that I had. Gosh, I traveled all over the place and in those days. I could be a trashy whore without worrying about AIDS. Sex was just something we did for fun - just about anyplace and anytime. Now that I've been an AIDS Buddy and held nearly ALL of my friends in my arms while they died, there's no way I could have been a trashy whore after that. I understand the dangers.

 

Had I known that all those years of marathon running and stage dancing would cause near paralysis before I was fifty years old, I wouldn't have don it! Which means I wouldn't have met some really cool people and had some really mind-boggling adventures!

 

Sorry guys, you pups will learn as you age that looks are nice, but there's far more important things to consider. The saying is so true, youth is wasted on the young. But in spite of that, go and do. Just go. Just do. Do everything you can and enjoy as much of life as you dare. It's worth it. I wouldn't change anything. I dated famous models and taught guys how to be strippers. I sang and danced until I would collapsed. I traveled until I ran out of money or road. I love what I've done with me life. Even the colossal screw ups. But I didn't know any better. That's how we learn.

 

When I was 19 or 20, oh my goodness, I was having 2 dozen orgasms a day while scouting for that perfect, flawless guy that would love me EXACTLY the way I wanted to be loved! Oiy. What a dweeb! Talk about the Cinderella syndrome! Certainly it's fun to have a stud for a partner, but just because a guy isn't a super stud, doesn't mean you should cross him of the list of potential mates. Let me tell you, I've met a few guys with bulldog faces and elephant..., well, we needn't get into that.

 

Enjoy your youth, it WILL end.

[Mark Arbour]

Believe it or not, SOME gay men actually do NOT put physical beauty as their number one priority. No matter how handsome a bloke is, eventually, looks will go. What will you be left with then?

 

My ass slide down into my thighs. My pecks became breasts. My pitch black beard is snow white. The three foot long braid of hair used to be thick and brown, now, what's left is short, thin, and gray. My super hairy legs are going bald and....and....and....

 

But my AMAZING personality more than makes up for my maladies... ;-) ...really!

 

I've also learned a few things over the past five or so decades. I still drool over cute boys, however; an older man knows so many things that most younger men just cannot understand or imagine or want to deal with. Of course, just because I'm an old fart doesn't mean I know all there is to know. But I'm confident enough in myself to be able to deal with most situations.

 

I can tell a 25 year old boss to go -F- himself because I have enough education and experience to get another job. (And savings to tide me over until I find the RIGHT job.) I climbed the ladders, did the corporate thing, played the games. I don't need to hurry through life anymore. I don't need to prove my sexual prowess or compete with someone else's. I can spend a day completely alone and not be lonely. I can still enjoy wobbling on the dance floor and not care that everyone is waiting for me to drop dead while they chuckle at the old man trying to be young.

 

I can tell off anyone that needs it and they actually let me since I'm old enough to be their dad or grand dad.... I can take my friends to a fancy dinner or to a theater and not have to worry about paying for it, or what people might think of me being out with my 400 pound friend or my 20 year old flaming friend. I can tell that kid in the grocery store to shut the fluck up - and the parents - and be taken seriously.

 

At 19 there's no way I would have or could have done those things - I wasn't in a position to do any or them. But at 19 or 20, I wouldn't have WANTED to know what I know now. It would have meant that I wouldn't have had the adventures that I had. Gosh, I traveled all over the place and in those days. I could be a trashy whore without worrying about AIDS. Sex was just something we did for fun - just about anyplace and anytime. Now that I've been an AIDS Buddy and held nearly ALL of my friends in my arms while they died, there's no way I could have been a trashy whore after that. I understand the dangers.

 

Had I known that all those years of marathon running and stage dancing would cause near paralysis before I was fifty years old, I wouldn't have don it! Which means I wouldn't have met some really cool people and had some really mind-boggling adventures!

 

Sorry guys, you pups will learn as you age that looks are nice, but there's far more important things to consider. The saying is so true, youth is wasted on the young. But in spite of that, go and do. Just go. Just do. Do everything you can and enjoy as much of life as you dare. It's worth it. I wouldn't change anything. I dated famous models and taught guys how to be strippers. I sang and danced until I would collapsed. I traveled until I ran out of money or road. I love what I've done with me life. Even the colossal screw ups. But I didn't know any better. That's how we learn.

 

When I was 19 or 20, oh my goodness, I was having 2 dozen orgasms a day while scouting for that perfect, flawless guy that would love me EXACTLY the way I wanted to be loved! Oiy. What a dweeb! Talk about the Cinderella syndrome! Certainly it's fun to have a stud for a partner, but just because a guy isn't a super stud, doesn't mean you should cross him of the list of potential mates. Let me tell you, I've met a few guys with bulldog faces and elephant..., well, we needn't get into that.

 

Enjoy your youth, it WILL end.

 

Awesome!

[methodwriter85]

That was an awesome post, Tid.

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about getting old- I graduated from college, and I'm hitting the milestone age of 25 pretty soon. On one hand, I'm freaked about getting old, and I can believe how fast my youth went by...it feels like just yesterday I was 19 years old and going to my first college party. It seems crazy that I'll be 25 years old soon- that sounds so grown up and old to me. I miss a good deal of stuff about being young- being able to plow through food like there's no tommorrow, feeling okay about getting rip-roaring drunk, and just the lack of knowledge I had about life when I was 20 that allowed me to go out there and really try things out and see what happened.

 

But...I like being 24 as well and having some good mileage on me now. I know what my limits are, I have a much clearer sense of who I am now than I did at 20, and I don't feel nearly as much of the need to impress people because I wanted them to be my friends.

 

Sometimes I'd give anything to be 19 again. But a lot the times, I'm glad I've had my experiences, and it's worth letting go of my youth to embrace the kind of man I want to be as I get older.

[Menorain]

I personally don't really care about age, as long as the guy is semi decent looking and either funny or intelligent. I'd hope that by the time I'd 60 I'd have a life long partner thing going on. Buuuuuut I'd probably go after someone a tad younger if I was that old. It's hard to say until you're in that position though.

[Canuk]

That was an awesome post, Tid.

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about getting old- I graduated from college, and I'm hitting the milestone age of 25 pretty soon. On one hand, I'm freaked about getting old, and I can believe how fast my youth went by...it feels like just yesterday I was 19 years old and going to my first college party. It seems crazy that I'll be 25 years old soon- that sounds so grown up and old to me. I miss a good deal of stuff about being young- being able to plow through food like there's no tommorrow, feeling okay about getting rip-roaring drunk, and just the lack of knowledge I had about life when I was 20 that allowed me to go out there and really try things out and see what happened.

 

But...I like being 24 as well and having some good mileage on me now. I know what my limits are, I have a much clearer sense of who I am now than I did at 20, and I don't feel nearly as much of the need to impress people because I wanted them to be my friends.

 

Sometimes I'd give anything to be 19 again. But a lot the times, I'm glad I've had my experiences, and it's worth letting go of my youth to embrace the kind of man I want to be as I get older.

 

I have a son exactly your age - and I'll have to admit nothing (and I mean NOTHING) made me feel old as when my son said to me in one of his (rare) deep-and-meaningfuls that he thought now that he is "old" he realises "old" is better....... I asked him what that made me - he said "my dad".......

 

Youth is so wasted on the young - but then it also gives us "oldies" something to lust after!!

 

BTW in response to the poll, I firmly agree in the 1/2 + 7; a body you can keep up with and a mind you can engage = perfection!!!

[methodwriter85]

I have a son exactly your age - and I'll have to admit nothing (and I mean NOTHING) made me feel old as when my son said to me in one of his (rare) deep-and-meaningfuls that he thought now that he is "old" he realises "old" is better....... I asked him what that made me - he said "my dad".......

 

Youth is so wasted on the young - but then it also gives us "oldies" something to lust after!!

 

BTW in response to the poll, I firmly agree in the 1/2 + 7; a body you can keep up with and a mind you can engage = perfection!!!

 

It's not so much that I'm really old, per se; I'm just no longer a fresh-faced, spring chicken anymore. 24 is somewhat young, but it's not the same league as being 18-21. 21's the perfect age- you're old enough to drink, but you're still young enough that everything seems open and full of possibilities because your whole life still feels ahead of you.

 

For me, the rule would come out to 19- which seems about right. I don't think I'd go younger than 19.

[Rad]

If I was a 65yo or older and can afford a boy toy, I'd pick them as young as I can legally have them

As dreams go, why not go for the best?