Is He Gay?

[Michael9344]

An online friend of mine told me that he enjoys anal sex. He said and quote, "I enjoy sex with guys but I'm not attracted to them. Does that make me gay?"

Is he gay?

[Bumblebee]

An online friend of mine told me that he enjoys anal sex. He said and quote, "I enjoy sex with guys but I'm not attracted to them. Does that make me gay?"

Is he gay?

 

 

probably bi... but if hes not attracted to them maybe he just needs a straight girl who likes being a top

[John Galaor]

it all depends on the meaning of the word gay. In some cultures, like around Mediterranean shores, being gay, in he old known word being a fag, was to play a passive of feminine role. Like sucking dick or taking it up the ass, or jerking someone's dick. In other cases, like in Muslim countries in the past, it was a fag only an adult playing a passive role. But as many young boys or adolescents were sodomized this was considered a hazard of age, they had to endure. This do not tainted at all the reputation of this adolescents.

It is farther north, and in higher classes, that reputation was at risk in either position you played, top or bottom.

Then, in the southern countries, to take up the ass was meant to be a fag, or a gay in modern language. Then, you have to have a great interest for experimentation and knowledge, to risk your reputation by taking up in the ass. It is very difficult to settle this question.

Then, if being gay is being submissive, and prone to obey another males, then it is easy that a person find himself in the position of become an "insertee". While the ordinary dominant male, has a vocation of being an "inserter". Then, being sub-dominant or submissive makes one a gay?

Then the question of "he liked" being taken up the ass. It this occurrence natural? Anybody who is has his prostate massaged by a hard dick feel pleasure? Or only a few persons have this kind of sensibility? It is very difficult to study this, for it involves a lot experimentation with real people, both confessed gay or straight.

As for being attracted to other males... this is real complex. Are only the gays attracted to other males? We are social animals, and many males that consider themselves straight had a great admiration and subordination for some natural leaders, that are mostly tops. Then, how far can go in their submission ordinary guys towards their leaders?

So, you see, that this is a very complex question.

[Marzipan]

He is what he defines himself today. If you speak with him a year from now, he might have a different opinnion. Based on what you told, there is no way that anyone of us can guess if he is gay or not. To me he seems to be in denial or just not that well in touch of his feelings.

 

Why try to label it?

 

 

[rustle]

 

Why try to label it?

 

 

 

 

That's the key, isn't it? Maybe, instead of looking for a label that fits, your friend should just determine what he likes and needs, and go from there.

[sojourn]

I am sixty years old. Closeted most of my life. Not out 'n proud; just out. I think generic terms like "gay" are simply inadequate to describe the attractions and actions of anyone. Lenny Bruce once said "men wil ***k dirt" I disagree. Having been raised on a farm, I know dirt. It is dry and rough. Had he said "mud" I might have agreed.

 

I had a collection of ads from craigslist which were indicative of your friends logic. One said basically "you must be straight. If you show any indicattion of being gay you will be asked to leave. If you are straight you can come in and we will masturbate and engage in fellatio. Sound familiar?

[JamesSavik]

I had a collection of ads from craigslist which were indicative of your friends logic. One said basically "you must be straight. If you show any indicattion of being gay you will be asked to leave. If you are straight you can come in and we will masturbate and engage in fellatio. Sound familiar?

 

No purer display of homophobia is possible.

 

I addressed this weirdness in my anthology story the Place In Between.

[West Coast Dude]

probably bi... but if hes not attracted to them maybe he just needs a straight girl who likes being a top

 

I know a guy who well he wanted kids, so he married a girl, and has sex with guys all the time, she knows about it and is chilll....to each their ownnn. What evs floats the boat your in.

 

That's the key, isn't it? Maybe, instead of looking for a label that fits, your friend should just determine what he likes and needs, and go from there.

 

If we didn't have labels, we'd live in an awesome world, ehhhh?

[Prince Duchess]

Why does that matter? If hes gay or straight. I run into this problem all the time here in the soap opera town I live in, all these boys out here are scared of the idea that of being seen as gay for participating in sexual acts. So much so ive had guys that'll keep their socks and shirts on during sex because then its not seen as "gay". When honestly the main thing is were sexual beings. We have sex because it feels good and we dont mind doing these acts with said person. Theres no harm in that so I wouldnt push or try to label him he might just like the occasional romp with men.

 

Nothing wrong with that after all, thats how many of us started out.

 

 

[Cyhort]

Just going by definitions, yes. Gay is slang for homosexual and the dictionary definition for homosexual is "sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex". But then you get into the whole confusing as all hell area of "well, what about bisexuals? They have sexual desire and behavior directed to their own sex too but also to the opposite sex so by definition they're gay and straight right?" Then if that isn't confusing enough you have guys who have never had sexual thought about guys but love girls using strap ons on them. Are they gay because they like what amounts to the act of gay sex even though it's with a girl? Basically, trying to pin down your sexuality these days is incredibly confusing and at the end of the day not really worth the headache. Your friend should just enjoy what he enjoys and not worry about whether or not he deserves a certain label.

[JamesSavik]

As a gay man in the bible belt, this is no big surprise to me.

 

Many men seeking men don't identify as gay for a number of reasons. The most common is they are not attracted to men that are effeminate- which is their definition of "gay".

 

Of course I can't tell you how many good ole boys are only gay when they are drunk.

[TrevorTime]

If he likes it up the butt, then I would have to say he was gay.

Edited March 21, 2011 by TrevorTime

[myself_i_must_remake]

he's an opportunity. that's what's important.

[PrivateTim]

I got this text message from a friend:

 

"if I like a guy whose really a girl and wants to keep her girl parts am I still gay?"

 

I just didn't know what to say.

[rustle]

An online friend of mine told me that he enjoys anal sex. He said and quote, "I enjoy sex with guys but I'm not attracted to them. Does that make me gay?"

Is he gay?

 

 

If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, just don't call it a duck.

 

Ties back in to labels again, doesn't it?

[Benji]

An online friend of mine told me that he enjoys anal sex. He said and quote, "I enjoy sex with guys but I'm not attracted to them. Does that make me gay?"

Is he gay?

 

.............. Interesting question here, not sure if he the receiver or the deliverer of the sex act though. Matters not, if his libido in the act is one of dominance or submissiveness the probability of his sexuality is a no brainier here. He obviously derives pleasure from the act, so why can't he get that with a woman? Ingrained religious beliefs have made the most prolific homophobes on the planet. I say he is probably a deep latent closet case, but he has broken with the mold fit by telling you his desires.I would conclude he is a non-accepting gay man that has not found a man he could love.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Benji

[Organic]

So much about being gay seems to revolve around the physicality of it, neglecting the emotional component. I can only speak for myself, but being gay is so much more than who I sleep with...

[Jwolf]

I have dark skin. It's almost chocolaty dark. Am I black?

[kyrospetros]

i think he is

[John Galaor]

As a gay man in the bible belt, this is no big surprise to me.

 

Many men seeking men don't identify as gay for a number of reasons. The most common is they are not attracted to men that are effeminate- which is their definition of "gay".

 

Of course I can't tell you how many good ole boys are only gay when they are drunk.

 

among lower class people in Mediterranean lands, gays are only those that play the receptive role of females, or those that perform fellatio on others. Then those who play the role of males do not think of them as gays.

 

I think that among northern European countries, the concept is similar among the lower class people. It is in the high classes that the concept extends to both partners in the play.

[John Galaor]

i think he is

 

I have the concept that a straight guy sodomized by force, figure him being tied or something, he can have a pleasure, for the mere act of anal intercourse produces a massage over his prostate. This massage is enough to produce pleasure in his body. He can even be driven to orgasm. But he was a straight guy. This unexpected pleasure could be a revelation for him.

[Skyline]

So much about being gay seems to revolve around the physicality of it, neglecting the emotional component. I can only speak for myself, but being gay is so much more than who I sleep with...

 

I was going to write a long post about this near the infancy of this thread, but then I quit halfway through lol

[methodwriter85]

I have dark skin. It's almost chocolaty dark. Am I black?

 

Seriously? You're black? I had you pegged as being a WASP kid from Richardson, Texas or something. Hmm.

[bigbear427]

Many men seeking men don't identify as gay for a number of reasons. The most common is they are not attracted to men that are effeminate- which is their definition of "gay".

 

This, of course, is one of the definitions of "Bears", like me.