I came out 46 years later

[Benji]

........................I finally came out to my nephew about a month or two ago and asked him not to say anything which he honored, and then decided to surprise the hell out of my brothers. You see he (my kid nephew) is in the movie business and I thought I'd test the ground with him. Sooooooooo.......... We had our annual brothers trip, and I decided to tell a brother at a time, each one went very good, they didn't love me any less, they have a great respect for me for being a Vietnam Vet. I was surprised that my elder brother did not know already. My ex-best friend blabbed it out 20 years ago, which is why I did not go to the (40th) High School re-union on 7/28/12. so the trip was great and I had no idea why I decided to do this, except 2 brothers asked me why I waited for 46 years to say anything. My sister was last to tell and her husband, only because they came last to the gathering, same response from both.

 

So here goes, mother, father, uncles are all dead.............good thing too in this respect, I'm sure! That only needs my daughter and my wife, not sure I'm going to go there, yet I believe they both suspect longer then the revelations I just made to my brothers and sister. Hahaha! I very much doubt I'll ever reveal this tidbit to my elde4st bother, and my others agree and will not divulge it to him.

 

So all in all I had a great few days!!! And I feel great for it, 46 years is a long time for sometime I actually knew when I was six years old and knew for sure when I was 12 years old.

[Graeme]

Congratulations, Benji! I still haven't told my family... but I just don't see that I need to tell them. Everyone's situation is different - I'm just really happy that everything has worked out for you.

[TommyZ]

Interesting. I am a similar age (63yo) but I have never come out to my family. My older brother and his wife very strongely suspect that I am gay. My father and mother (now both gone), both knew I was gay but never pushed me to tell them but I remember a conversation where I got the idea that if I did come out to them, they would have no problem accepting me.

 

A neighbor told me point blank, that I was gay which I did deny at at the time.

 

When I was young, I way a very nieve, and immature little boy. I just didn't get anything at all. I mean, that is just the way I was. I didn't understand girls. I was shy and self conscious. I got picked on in junior high school. It took me forever to figure things out.

 

Now, i am happy with who I am, and how I have lived my life ... no regrets.

[Benji]

Congratulations, Benji! I still haven't told my family... but I just don't see that I need to tell them. Everyone's situation is different - I'm just really happy that everything has worked out for you.

 

......................How true, I just thought it was right at this time, you have to consider his is a family that is VERY conservative, I said screw it and came out to them and was very surprised at their response.

[Benji]

Interesting. I am a similar age (63yo) but I have never come out to my family. My older brother and his wife very strongely suspect that I am gay. My father and mother (now both gone), both knew I was gay but never pushed me to tell them but I remember a conversation where I got the idea that if I did come out to them, they would have no problem accepting me.

 

A neighbor told me point blank, that I was gay which I did deny at at the time.

 

When I was young, I way a very nieve, and immature little boy. I just didn't get anything at all. I mean, that is just the way I was. I didn't understand girls. I was shy and self conscious. I got picked on in junior high school. It took me forever to figure things out.

 

Now, i am happy with who I am, and how I have lived my life ... no regrets.

 

.................It was strange, I did not have to do this, I tested my nephew of all people! Why I did that I don't really know, but I I had to do something, I'm living on borrowed time. He told me he didn't care and held my request to keep silent, when I told him I was going to go out, he smiled and it said shouldn't be a problem. But then why again is Spielberg formatting him in films?

[hh5]

congrats

not telling the parents is definitely one of my original ideas, however, parents don't like the idea of their children not being married

 

telling your bros be ok ... its not like they see ya all the time and everyone is old enough ...

 

well your nephew is of the newer generation ... the generation of less bullies and less hate for gays

the gen of more tollerance

[Dark]

Congratulations, Benji! I'm so glad that your family was so supportive.

[joann414]

Congrats Benji. I did the same this past year, by telling member by member of my family, but I told my husband first, who was great! Only my sister was very difficult, and still is, but my three brothers, and my daughter were fine also. They all but shrugged it off, and it made me feel ( as far as my brothers), that they suspected anyway. My best friend now is also fine with it, even tho, she gave it a lot of thought, it seems to have brought us even closer. So glad things went good for you!

[Cia]

.................It was strange, I did not have to do this, I tested my nephew of all people! Why I did that I don't really know, but I I had to do something, I'm living on borrowed time.

Going out on a limb here, but might it have something to do with his generation? Not to make you feel old or anything but each generation is becoming more and more tolerant on the issue of homosexuality. I can understand you being cautious and waiting. I've known as far back as I can remember that I'm bi but my dad, who is a few years younger than you, is one person I'm extremely leery of telling. He is a casual bigot and I've had no real reason to ever tell him. Oddly enough, my mother in law who is in her 60s was okay with it, and a few of my siblings/my friends/hubby know, but my own parents ... no way.

 

Telling people your sexuality is one of those things that comes to every person in its own time. You should feel good that you did it, no matter how long you waited, when the time was right for you. Benji.

[Bill W]

Congrats, Benji, and I'm glad it worked out so well for you. Cheers.

[Zombie]

Good for you Benji. I'm so glad it went well. I'm sure you feel a whole lot better for it too

[Andy78]

That's great news Benji. I'm so glad that your family have been so supportive. It's not the easiest thing in the world to tell anyone, and just knowing that they don't love you any less, is the best any of us hope for; and whatever comes on top of that is a bonus.

[Ashi]

Yeah, everything turns out fine in your family, that's pretty much everything you need to reassure yourself. Now what's the plan? Are you going to find your heart's desire (or did you ever have one that you wished you'd tell your affection to?).

 

Don't worry about the eldest brother. He has lived longer than you have. If your other siblings can accept you, he probably can too.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Ashi

[wildone]

Benji You're Gay!

 

When did this happen ? I would have never known

 

 

 

Glad things worked out for you

[W_L]

Congrats on coming out to your bros, now comes the next stage....living a long and happy life full of memories and having as few regrets as you can from this day forward.

 

I am so happy for you!

[Benji]

Benji You're Gay!

 

When did this happen ? I would have never known

 

 

 

Glad things worked out for you

 

....................You are almost funnier then the incidence that happened the day before we left Big Bear Lake. (BTW, we stayed at million dollar home in tune of over $1,550 for a 3 night stay). I was accousted by some guy that said 'Hey, John haven't seen you since H.S.' I knew something was up, I am only called 'John' by my family (middle name thing since I was named after my father) I was still surprised and at first thought he was a fellow inspector that I worked with in the city, but the name thing clued me in that my brother had set me up. Turns out he wanted a smoke, and I was the only one with the, and it was a prank!

 

Next day, another strange thing happened to me. The afternoon before we had been out (trying to) fishing on a pontoon boat at the lake. I suffered a bit of sunstroke because it was hot out and I took my shirt off and got burned. I got back to the place and was shivering, felt hot and nauseous, didn't eat and I did not sleep well that night. Come 6am I felt good but looked ragged, we decided to go out and eat breakfast, but I only wanted tea.

 

After we were finished a lady came up to me and put her hands on my shoulders and proclaimed herself to be 'in touch' with Jesus and said she could tell that 'I was hurting and hiding and that Jesus would save me'. I thought I was being punked again, but my brothers expressions told me otherwise. I almost said 'Look lady, #1 I'm Jewish, #2 I just came out to my brothers as being gay', instead I thanked her for her concern and left.

Edited August 9, 2012 by Benji

[Toast]

Hugs Benji, my friend.

[SidLove]

WOW!! So awesome Benji! I am happy for you

[Houdinii]

Glad to hear it Benji. I often forget how lucky I am sometimes with getting off easy. My family wasn't quite the same as yours, and aside from my pops I had no trouble being out, and I never liked him anyways...