' Live-Poets Society ' – A Corner For Poetry

[asamvav111]

I think this is a pretty good poem...

 

 

 

I've had a vision of a future time

When this world will be mired in cruel war;

Wallow in pollution and sink in crime;

A time when both trees and men die rank at core.

They will look back at us and demand to know

 

For eyes yet unborn, but reading these words,

Will know Love as we did ever afterwards.

Do I need to say more?

[asamvav111]

For Mr. Benus:

 

Delhi and its fine lads

with their turbans and twisted beards

openly drinking lover's blood

while secretly sipping wine.

 

Wilful and full of airs

they pay no heed to anyone.

 

So close to the heart, they rob

your soul and tuck it safely away.

 

When they are out for a stroll

rose bushes bloom in the street.

 

When the breeze strikes them from behind,

see how the turbans topple from their heads.

 

When they walk, the lovers follow,

blood gushing from their eyes.

 

Their heads puffed up with beauty's pride,

their admirer's hearts are gone with the wind.

 

These cheeky, simple Indian lads have made

Muslims into worshipers of the sun.

 

Those fair Hindu boys

have led me to drunken ruin.

Trapped in the coils of their curly locks

Khusrau is a dog on a leash.

 

Qiran al-sa'dain, Masnavi translated by Paul E Losensky

Edited January 15, 2017 by asamvav111

[dughlas]

Interesting. Is there some cultural context for the poem? There are some nuances that western readers miss that bring deeper understanding.

[Parker Owens]

And this is for tim. Also found on Occasional Poetry, here....  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/occasionalpoetry/59

 

 

To an Abecedarian Poet

 

 

At once

brother and friend,

compassion for all whose

desperate destitution on

Earth now

frames your

greatest gift to all of us who

hail you as a comrade 

in life's winding

journey;

 

Kindness

lives at your house;

makes itself resident,

no temporary guest,

or tired transient 

pilgrim;

 

Questions,

reflections and

sharp-drawn observations 

trip from your trusty, honest pen;

unmixed,

vivid

words, poetic and prosaic,

xenial catalysts

you share, brave and

zestful.

[dughlas]

And this is for tim. Also found on Occasional Poetry, here....  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/occasionalpoetry/59

 

 

To an Abecedarian Poet

 

 

At once

brother and friend,

compassion for all whose

desperate destitution on

Earth now

frames your

greatest gift to all of us who

hail you as a comrade 

in life's winding

journey;

 

Kindness

lives at your house;

makes itself resident,

no temporary guest,

or tired transient 

pilgrim;

 

Questions,

reflections and

sharp-drawn observations 

trip from your trusty, honest pen;

unmixed,

vivid

words, poetic and prosaic,

xenial catalysts

you share, brave and

zestful.

I think you've tagged so very well ... he's likely gonna blush.

[Mikiesboy]

 

And this is for tim. Also found on Occasional Poetry, here....  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/occasionalpoetry/59

 

 

To an Abecedarian Poet

 

 

At once

brother and friend,

compassion for all whose

desperate destitution on

Earth now

frames your

greatest gift to all of us who

hail you as a comrade 

in life's winding

journey;

 

Kindness

lives at your house;

makes itself resident,

no temporary guest,

or tired transient 

pilgrim;

 

Questions,

reflections and

sharp-drawn observations 

trip from your trusty, honest pen;

unmixed,

vivid

words, poetic and prosaic,

xenial catalysts

you share, brave and

zestful.

 

 

gosh ... thank you Parker ...

[asamvav111]

 

And this is for tim. Also found on Occasional Poetry, here....  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/occasionalpoetry/59

 

 

To an Abecedarian Poet

 

 

At once

brother and friend,

compassion for all whose

desperate destitution on

Earth now

frames your

greatest gift to all of us who

hail you as a comrade 

in life's winding

journey;

 

Kindness

lives at your house;

makes itself resident,

no temporary guest,

or tired transient 

pilgrim;

 

Questions,

reflections and

sharp-drawn observations 

trip from your trusty, honest pen;

unmixed,

vivid

words, poetic and prosaic,

xenial catalysts

you share, brave and

zestful.

 

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23.6

 

Beautiful, Mr. Owens.

[Former Member]

For Mr. Benus:

 

Delhi and its fine lads

with their turbans and twisted beards

openly drinking lover's blood

while secretly sipping wine.

 

Wilful and full of airs

they pay no heed to anyone.

 

So close to the heart, they rob

your soul and tuck it safely away.

 

When they are out for a stroll

rose bushes bloom in the street.

 

When the breeze strikes them from behind,

see how the turbans topple from their heads.

 

When they walk, the lovers follow,

blood gushing from their eyes.

 

Their heads puffed up with beauty's pride,

their admirer's hearts are gone with the wind.

 

These cheeky, simple Indian lads have made

Muslims into worshipers of the sun.

 

Those fair Hindu boys

have led me to drunken ruin.

Trapped in the coils of their curly locks

Khusrau is a dog on a leash.

 

Qiran al-sa'dain, Masnavi translated by Paul E Losensky

It's a beautiful poem, and I love how it speaks to the timelessness of these situations.

 

I wonder if it's a foible of the translation, but hearing about "drinking lovers' blood" and "blood gushing from their eyes" is more than a little disconcerting.    

[Emi GS]

It's a beautiful poem, and I love how it speaks to the timelessness of these situations.

 

I wonder if it's a foible of the translation, but hearing about "drinking lovers' blood" and "blood gushing from their eyes" is more than a little disconcerting.

 

I don't think the poet is talking about real blood here. It's just about lust and money, I think. We, Indians, just use those kind of words to refer the ones told here. I can assure you this is not a vampire thingy( )...

[asamvav111]

Drinking lover's blood means playing on one's feelings. Here the expression is in fact a metaphor about listening to the soulful expositions on Islam by the Lover i.e. the saint in question. While sipping wine is equivalent to reading the Quran & Hadith. It is an ancient technique in Indian Poetics where a person is vilified on the surface while in fact he is being praised behind the metaphor. In sanskrit this technique is called Byajastuti. There are long poems using this technique extant from medieval era. Even some use in modern poetry can be found. Blood gushing from one's eyes will therefore mean the dawning of true understanding of the scriptures. The interesting thing is that, there are a number of poems of this style where overt blasphemous homosexuality is present, that is also poetically adorned.

It was the style of the day. And I don't think it was always this heavenly implied pious narrative that was behind the inspiration of the poet.

Edited January 18, 2017 by asamvav111

[Parker Owens]

Question for anyone...

 

Do you find that writing in certain meters (iambic, throcaic - tetrameter, pentameter) puts you in certain moods? I seem to feel increasing darkness in pentameter, for example...just curious how everyone else feels....

[Mikiesboy]

Question for anyone...

 

Do you find that writing in certain meters (iambic, throcaic - tetrameter, pentameter) puts you in certain moods? I seem to feel increasing darkness in pentameter, for example...just curious how everyone else feels....

No, likely because I don't know what any of them mean.  However, I looked them up and the answer was still, no. If I'm unhappy like I was last night, very unlikely i'll write in any form but free unmetered verse. 

[dughlas]

Drinking lover's blood means playing on one's feelings. Here the expression is in fact a metaphor about listening to the soulful expositions on Islam by the Lover i.e. the saint in question. While sipping wine is equivalent to reading the Quran & Hadith. It is an ancient technique in Indian Poetics where a person is vilified on the surface while in fact he is being praised behind the metaphor. In sanskrit this technique is called Byajastuti. There are long poems using this technique extant from medieval era. Even some use in modern poetry can be found. Blood gushing from one's eyes will therefore mean the dawning of true understanding of the scriptures. The interesting thing is that, there are a number of poems of this style where overt blasphemous homosexuality is present, that is also poetically adorned.

It was the style of the day. And I don't think it was always this heavenly implied pious narrative that was behind the inspiration of the poet.

 

Thank you for sharing this it makes things more easily understood.

[Valkyrie]

Question for anyone...

 

Do you find that writing in certain meters (iambic, throcaic - tetrameter, pentameter) puts you in certain moods? I seem to feel increasing darkness in pentameter, for example...just curious how everyone else feels....

I find your observation very interesting.  My understanding of meter is tenuous, at best, so I can't say that a certain meter evokes any particular emotional response.  I wonder if there's a correlation to music?  Certain notes/chords are associated with different moods... maybe there's a mathematical thing here you're in tune with?  

[northie]

Like Val, I'm not really answering as a poet - more as a general user of the language and a musician.

 

The very rhythms, their speeds and flows suggest moods in themselves. Then, those moods suggest the use of varying sorts of words, or, slightly differently, the rhythms suit certain sorts of words (short or polysyllabic). That can also affect what you're trying to say. I suppose if you start with a particular meter in mind rather than anything else, then, yes, I can see how that could happen ... 

[William King]

When considering mathmatics in poetry it is interesting to take account of Fibonacci.

 

A Fibonacci poem (or Fib) is a multiple-line verse based on the Fibonacci sequence so that the number of syllables in each line equals the total number of syllables in the preceding two lines.

 

 

The Fibonacci sequence begins with either zero or one, followed by one, and proceeds based on the rule that each number (called a Fibonacci number ) is equal to the sum of the preceding two numbers. Technically, the first line in a Fibonacci poem with n = 0 has no syllables, and therefore constitutes a moment of silence. This is an important consideration, just as standard syllable and rhythm patterns are critical to other forms of verse such as haiku, limerick, and iambic pentameter. (If n = 1, then there is no initial moment of silence.)

 

Link to full explanation: http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/Fibonacci-poem-or-Fib

 

[Parker Owens]

I

write,

hoping

the ghost of

Fibonacci won't

complicate every line put down.

Edited January 19, 2017 by Parker Owens

[dughlas]

Parker, why did I know you would have a response?

[Valkyrie]

I

write,

hoping

the ghost of

Fibonacci won't

complicate every line put down.

 The brilliance of this is in its simplicity.  It reads as a smooth, cohesive thought, with the complexity that went into crafting it only known to those who are tuned in to look.  You, sir, are the master of form.  

 

I have to admit to a bit of a creep factor when William posted about Fibonacci, since that name popped into my head after our PM conversation this morning, despite the fact I have no idea who he is or anything about his principles...  *cue Twilight Zone music* 

[dughlas]

Good evening. I'm Rod Serling and this is the "Live Poets Society" ... doo doo doo ...

[Defiance19]

 The brilliance of this is in its simplicity.  It reads as a smooth, cohesive thought, with the complexity that went into crafting it only known to those who are tuned in to look.  You, sir, are the master of form.  

 

 

 

Indeed!

I am not nearly fond of math, yet found myself fascinated by Williiam's post.  Then Parker hits us with this.. I can't even... 

[Former Member]

On 1/18/2017 at 8:29 AM, Parker Owens said:

Question for anyone...

 

Do you find that writing in certain meters (iambic, throcaic - tetrameter, pentameter) puts you in certain moods? I seem to feel increasing darkness in pentameter, for example...just curious how everyone else feels....

I don’t know, Parker. In terms of metrical feet, I can certainly see the rigid adherence to one or the other could lead to the buildup of a certain feeling. For me, it's the variance that adds dimension.

 

I tend to see formed poetry as belonging to two camps: Lyric (with beats of 6 and/or 8 lines) and Narrative (with rhythms from 10 up to 15).  

 

In terms of line length, if I understand your comments correctly, you are saying what the Classic poets referred to as 'heroic verse' (line lengths of 10 or 12 syllables) gains in darkness….

 

I'm not sure I agree, or I should say feel it. I do think it gains in gravity. 

 

Horace Gregory translated Ovid's Metamorphosis. He made it difficult on himself by committing to pentameter verse following the original poem line by line. Reading Gregory's masterpiece of English-language poetry is almost a meditative experience. The Zen-like character seeps into your bones, and in that way probably translates the experience of reading the Latin as well as rendering Ovid's meaning. This feeling may be what the ancients meant by heroic in the first place.

 

For example, read this from the conclusion of Book VIII:

 

Who has been changed once, but then no more?

Others have been transfigured many times,

Like Proteus, who lives within the kingdom

Of that great sea whose arms encircle the earth.

O Proteus, how many times your image

Comes to us as a young man from the sea,

Then as a lion, then a raving boar,

Or as a snake whom many fear to touch!

Horns change you to a bull, or you might be

A sleeping stone, a tree, or water flowing,

Or fire that quarrels with moisture everywhere.

 

----

 

As for darkness and turning to poetry to deal with loss, I personally found myself resorting to Lyrics (in the Lyrics for Tony collection).

 

Many of my poems there are extremely dark, and the lilt of shorter lines added greatly to the sadness, I found.

 

I also think of that undisputed master of Lyric poetry. He too used the music of consistent – dare I say, unrelenting – metre to raise goose bumps.

 

At morn—at noon—at twilight dim—

Maria! thou hast heard my hymn!

In joy and woe—in good and ill—

Mother of God, be with me still!

When the Hours flew brightly by

And not a cloud obscured the sky,

My soul, lest it should truant be,

Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;

Now, when storms of Fate o'ercast

Darkly my Present and my Past,

Let my Future radiant shine

With sweet hopes of thee and thine! 

Hymn, by

Edgar Allan Poe

Edited July 9, 2018 by AC Benus

[Parker Owens]

Well, perhaps I should say that the iambic pentameter has gained a certain darkness for me.  Your Poe sample is a perfect counterexample to my rather light tetrameters. What you say about bearing real loss in lyric form seems entirely possible. Clearly, there is much more reading to be done.

[dughlas]

It's discussion such as this that bring depth to my understanding though I admit I still don't fully comprehend all that has been said. Better still in my ignorance I am still fully welcomed here.

[Former Member]

It's discussion such as this that bring depth to my understanding though I admit I still don't fully comprehend all that has been said. Better still in my ignorance I am still fully welcomed here.

 

I personally don't think one needs to know much about poetics to enjoy poetry. It's all what you feel, and seeing what others feel when they cite pieces