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Posted

12 was great with tons of new stuff to think about!

 

Great writing dayne! I know I laugh waaaay too much when I read it.  :*)  :*)  :*)

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Site Administrator
Posted

I've just re-read the current chapter in anticipation of the hopefully-soon-to-be-released chapter, and I spotted something I missed the first time through. In the scene in the truck with JJ, Indie was concerned for Efrain and Cory outing themselves to their teammate. That appears to be a significant change in attitude from the earlier chapters.

 

I think Preston has a lot to answer for -- he's thawing out the Iceman, which means unless he stops, he'll probably be left with the weak-as-water man, and somehow I don't think Preston wants that. He likes clashing horns with the Iceman. He just doesn't like losing to the Iceman (at least not too much, and even when that happens, Preston still gets to think of suitable revenges, like pretending the Iceman is an ice-cream, or... :P)

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Indie and Efrain are friends, so of course he's going to be concerned.  With Cory, I suppose it's concern-by-proxy. 

 

Also, I don't think any amount of contrition on Indie's part is going to make up for the fact that Preston can't seem to control his baser instincts around him.  Maddog and Iceman will clash, trust me.

 

ETA - New chapter SOON!

Edited by daynemora
  • Like 4
Posted (edited)

This is good.. I'm so behind I'm working my way up.. The new chapter will feel like my reward when I catch up! 

 

 

Edit to add:  it is a great chapter, well written and rewarding,  but not so much the kind of reward I was thinking after all...

Edited by Defiance19
  • Like 1
Posted

I just want to hug Indie. He'd probably be all uncomfortable, so it's not a good idea. Still, all jokes about Iceman leave a bit of a sour taste behind now. Not that people know, but it makes me think about these 'friendly' jokes we tell people around us. We really have no idea what lies hidden.

 

Preston being Preston could perhaps break through those walls. I think his affections once gained makes for a powerful (if tiny) ally. And friend.

  • Like 2
Posted

It seems Jameson's parents and Indie's father caught on to the slimy parasite long before poor Indie. I hope Indie tells all to Preston at some point, since I'd love to see the rabid terrier let loose on the fucking asswipe. The ending of the previous chapter is suddenly so much more satisfying.

  • Like 2
  • 1 month later...
  • Site Administrator
Posted (edited)

I was just thinking about the latest chapter with Efrain and his family. I know it won't happen this way, but here's one way he and Cory could come out to the team:

 

"How was your Thanksgiving?" J.J. asked.

I slammed my locker shut, attracting the attention of all the guys nearby. "Fucking family! I could've done without them."

"What happened?"

"Would you believe that they were betting on me? Without telling me?"

"What was the bet? How many tackles you would make?"

Cory snorted, not bothering to hide a grin. I glared at him, even though everything was still going to plan.

"No. It was when I'd tell them I'm gay, how I'd come out, and whether or not Cory is my boyfriend. Fuck the lot of them! They could have at least told me that they knew, instead of betting on my fucking coming out!"

The silence that followed was eventually broken by Cory. "At least you didn't tell them that you prefer Spanish chorizo to Mexican like I did. I thought your uncle was going to have a heart attack when I said that." He grinned. "Look on the bright side. We got them all back by not being quiet. I'm sure they heard way more than they wanted to."

 

Edited by Graeme
  • Like 3
Posted

 

Dude! Half the fun of having sex at your parents' house is how much you can do without getting caught!

 

  • Like 2
  • Site Administrator
Posted

LOL, but that's when you're not after revenge for how they've treated you.

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Pip, pip (is what Danish birds say) :lol:  (or kra-kra if it's a crow)

 

I wonder what birds say in Norway, Finland and Iceland?  Plus I'm reminded of Irri's favorite SATW abound Danish names for birds in the Faroe Islands. :rofl:

 

Hungarian birds say "csip-csip" or "csipcsirip" ("cs" is pronounced like English ch) and crows say "kár" 

 

Hehehehe

 

Oh the stories I could tell.....

 

Tell. the. stories. Pleeeeese <3

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Another great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one (hopefully not 20 days from now haha!) I also love their choices in music! I think I've added all the artists that ahve been named to my playlist (except edIT.  I have to agree with Cory on that one).  Keep up the good work!

  • Like 1
Posted

Almost 4k words in, and three scenes are incomplete, so the wait shouldn't be as long.  I sometimes think about going back to shorter chapters (dividing scenes up, not cutting down on prose), so I can put out releases more frequently.  But I've realized things get better if I give them more time to work themselves out.  

I promise, it'll be worth the wait.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Site Administrator
Posted

The second one projects the attitude I see coming from Preston. The first and third seem too innocent :)

  • Like 1
  • Site Administrator
Posted

I agree with Drew. Cory is supposed to be tough and the second picture projects that more than the first. The first doesn't look like a footballer to me.

  • Like 1

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