The Cockney Canuck By Dodger

[Former Member]

Robbie could use the opportunity to casually come out to his family. I'm sure they'll react better if a stranger is present to keep them on their best behavior. Like if the principal asks whether Robbie has a girlfriend, he could say 'No, a boyfriend.'

 

Few of us, and certainly not Robbie, would take advantage of that sort of situation. Robbie is more likely to bumble along, shortsightedly until someone (Daniel or Nicola) catches him with Nathan.

[Timothy M.]

Or you could do what I do and go off on wild, unlikely tangents…  ;-)

 

Few of us, and certainly not Robbie, would take advantage of that sort of situation. Robbie is more likely to bumble along, shortsightedly until someone (Daniel or Nicola) catches him with Nathan.

 

Well, you did tell me to go off on wild tangents.

[Former Member]

Then he could Out Alex as the kinky, drug-abusing rapist at the same time to take the spotlight off his own Coming Out! (You didn’t go wild enough! Try harder next time.)  ;-)

[JayT]

Is anyone else worried about the fact that Rory is suddenly interested in whether or not Nathan is gay? Then he wants to meet him?

Edited March 1, 2017 by JayT

[wenmale64]

JayT has a point.  I really did not think about it that way, but it is a bit of a worry.  I do think that Nathan is committed to Robbie and would not simply drop him like that.

[JayT]

JayT has a point.  I really did not think about it that way, but it is a bit of a worry.  I do think that Nathan is committed to Robbie and would not simply drop him like that.

 

I agree, but it could potentially force Robbie to out himself to Rory.

Edited March 1, 2017 by JayT

[wenmale64]

I agree, but it could potentially force Robbie to out himself to Rory.

 

I don't think that would really be a big issue after the inital fears were overcome.  Rory seems to be hiding also and having a friend that understands would be a huge weight off Robbies AND Rorys shoulders. 

[Timothy M.]

Is anyone else worried about the fact that Rory is suddenly interested in whether or not Nathan is gay? Then he wants to meet him?

 

Perhaps not worried, but I noticed too and felt a bit sorry for Rory that both the boys he might like are taken.

[wildone]

Well I'm still of the opinion that the only person convinced Rory is gay is Robbie, and since we only see Robbie's POV, what actual evidence is there that he is gay? He is cute? He is 15 years old and doesn't have a girl friend and is shy? What other convincing evidence do we have that Rory is gay ?

 

What I think would be funny, is Principal Andrews comes over and over dinner tells about all the graffiti and vandalism in the boys washrooms at the school, so the school installed cameras, not over the stalls or over the urinals, but hidden to see the walkway and he saw something interesting a couple of days last week

 

[Former Member]

That would be amusing, but I believe that would be illegal in many places because people have the expectation of privacy in restrooms.

[wildone]

Not in Canada

 

I remember being a teenager and hearing of men being charged in department store bathrooms. Priests, teachers, and other such people were targeted by hidden cameras above washroom stalls. The stores were able to do it because of 'complaints' issued.

 

Not really sure if they still can do that or not.

[AugustusWaters]

So I'm new here, but first off: Dodger, this is excellent. Truly. Go you.

 

On a separate note, maybe I missed it, but how did Toms older brother find out about tom and Robbie fooling around? You say this in the third sentence of chapter forty, and I wa shuts wondering if it was a typo or something I overlooked!

 

Can't wait for the next one!

[wenmale64]

Dodger,

Glad you were able to get back to the story.  Hope you are doing better.  This chapter has opened up so many possibilities.  I hope it leads to some understanding and peace for all the players.  Even Nicola needs a bit of peace.  Robbie is going to stroke out if he doesn't calm down.  Looking forward to more....

[Dodger]

On 2017-03-07 at 9:16 PM, AugustusWaters said:

So I'm new here, but first off: Dodger, this is excellent. Truly. Go you.

 

On a separate note, maybe I missed it, but how did Toms older brother find out about tom and Robbie fooling around? You say this in the third sentence of chapter forty, and I wa shuts wondering if it was a typo or something I overlooked!

 

Can't wait for the next one!

 

 

Thank you for taking an interest in the story and for pointing this out to me. This is indeed a mistake which I will edit to put right. Some of the earlier chapters are a little wordy and contain a lot of stuff that's not really relevant to the story and I've been attempting to edit out some of this to make it more readable. I probably should have gone with an editor from the beginning, which would have saved me from these mistakes, but it's been a learning curve.

 

I think my writing and editing has improved a lot since posting the first chapter, but when I read other author's material, I realise that I still have a long way to go. It's a challenge which I'm enjoying and reading posts such as yours gives me the encouragement and enthusiasm to continue. 

 

On 2017-03-07 at 9:16 PM, AugustusWaters said:

 

 

 

Edited March 26, 2017 by Dodger
Punctuation

[AugustusWaters]

3 hours ago, Dodger said:

Thank you for taking an interest in the story and for pointing this out to me. This is indeed a mistake which I will edit to put right. Some of the earlier chapters are a little wordy and contain a lot of stuff that's not really relevant to the story and I've been attempting to edit out some of this to make it more readable. I probably should have gone with an editor from the beginning, which would have saved me from these mistakes, but it's been a learning curve.

 

I think my writing and editing has improved a lot since posting the first chapter, but when I read other author's material, I realise that I still have a long way to go. It's a challenge which I'm enjoying and reading posts such as yours gives me the encouragement and enthusiasm to continue. 

 

 

 

Actually, one of the things I really like about the story are the irrelevant asides. They're not relevant to the plot line, but they're relevant to Robbie. Since this story is being told in the first person, it's quite normal for there to be irrelevant information thrown in. After all, Robbie, like most of us, does not have a razor-focused one-track-mind. These asides add to his character, and make him seem real and vivid, in the same way that the background on a painting or a picture, while not relevant to the subject, nonetheless adds to her reality. So I wouldn't worry about them at all, if I were you.

 

But I'm clearly not you though, because I couldn't write a story on pain of global nuclear annihilation. So don't pay too much attention to what I'm saying - go with your instincts, not what you think other people think or feel. You've clearly been great so far - writing a story just shy of half a million words in a year and half that has become the 37th most viewed story on this site in that time is no mean feat. So don't doubt yourself.

 

And on a selfish note, the less you edit, the more you write, the less I have to wait 

[Former Member]

37 minutes ago, AugustusWaters said:

But I'm clearly not you though, because I couldn't write a story on pain of global nuclear annihilation.

There’s a global nuclear annihilation in this story? As if Robbie hasn’t already had enough pain in his life!  ;-)

[AugustusWaters]

This was brilliant, so I don't know whether to laugh or tear my hair out.

[Timothy M.]

19 hours ago, Dodger said:

Some of the earlier chapters are a little wordy and contain a lot of stuff that's not really relevant to the story and I've been attempting to edit out some of this to make it more readable.

 

15 hours ago, AugustusWaters said:

Actually, one of the things I really like about the story are the irrelevant asides. They're not relevant to the plot line, but they're relevant to Robbie. Since this story is being told in the first person, it's quite normal for there to be irrelevant information thrown in. After all, Robbie, like most of us, does not have a razor-focused one-track-mind. These asides add to his character, and make him seem real and vivid, in the same way that the background on a painting or a picture, while not relevant to the subject, nonetheless adds to her reality. So I wouldn't worry about them at all, if I were you.

 

I don't seem to recall that much irrelevant stuff either, so I agree with Augustus. On the other hand, it's always worth while to go back to earlier chapters and tidy up a bit, especially if you didn't have an editor.

[Dodger]

4 hours ago, Timothy M. said:

 

 

I don't seem to recall that much irrelevant stuff either, so I agree with Augustus. On the other hand, it's always worth while to go back to earlier chapters and tidy up a bit, especially if you didn't have an editor.

 

Deciding to go it alone without an editor, was probably my biggest mistake and one that has caused me a lot of headaches over the past year. It's too late for this story now, but I will definitely use an editor for the next one, which by the way, I am already working on. Yeah, I decided to hang around a bit longer and try my luck with a few other ideas that I've had up my sleeve. I don't want to be known as a one-trick pony, and I'll probably have withdrawal symptoms when The Cockney Canuck finishes, but don't expect any poetry! 

[Timothy M.]

7 minutes ago, Dodger said:

Deciding to go it alone without an editor, was probably my biggest mistake and one that has caused me a lot of headaches over the past year. It's too late for this story now, but I will definitely use an editor for the next one, which by the way, I am already working on.

 

I'm sure you can find someone to edit your new story - and you might persuade droughtquake to help you out with Robbie as well. It's never too late to edit.

[Former Member]

3 hours ago, Timothy M. said:

 

I'm sure you can find someone to edit your new story - and you might persuade droughtquake to help you out with Robbie as well. It's never too late to edit.

I’m no editor. I wouldn’t be reliable enough to use. My depression sometimes keeps me from getting things done the way I should – I have to have binge-dishwash at times.

[AugustusWaters]

5 hours ago, droughtquake said:

I’m no editor. I wouldn’t be reliable enough to use. My depression sometimes keeps me from getting things done the way I should – I have to have binge-dishwash at times.

 

Glad to know I'm not the only one! Actually I'm not, because it sucks that you're depressed, but you get the idea!

[Timothy M.]

5 hours ago, droughtquake said:

I’m no editor. I wouldn’t be reliable enough to use. 

 

Sorry to hear that drought. I just notice you pointing out mistakes in stories we both read. 

But you could probably still help Dodger with his Canuck story, since there would be no deadline for already posted chapters.

[AugustusWaters]

Also, as one trick ponies go, this would be quite a trick. And sometimes that's all you need - a magnum opus that says more than thousand other works. Think avout the poem Invictus for example - the author, William Earnest Henley, is famous only because of that poem. Yet that one poem is probably more commonly known than any single poem of Keats' or Wordsworths'. Probably Tennyson and Byron too. So no worries on the one trick pony count.

 

That said, if you have more tricks, please, don't keep them to yourself! We await them with great anticipation!

 

 

[Former Member]

Timmy can tell you of the problems he deals with by trying so desperately not to be a one trick pony!  ;-)