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29 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You no longer smoke cigarettes, but are overcome with an overwhelming urge to eat them all instead.  :unsure: 

I wish I didn't have to use my CPAP every night.  

Granted! You no longer need your CPAP every night, but now you need it during the day.

I wish I had the power to fly.

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28 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! You no longer need your CPAP every night, but now you need it during the day.

I wish I had the power to fly.

Granted, but now you're a mosquito

I wish the squirrel who gnawed a hole in my cieling would stop wakimg me up so early in the mornong!

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5 minutes ago, Wesley8890 said:

Granted, but now you're a mosquito

I wish the squirrel who gnawed a hole in my cieling would stop wakimg me up so early in the mornong!

Granted.  Now a whole family of raccoons have moved into the attic and throw wild parties all night, keeping you from getting any sleep. 

I wish it wasn't so cold out. 

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9 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  Now a whole family of raccoons have moved into the attic and throw wild parties all night, keeping you from getting any sleep. 

I wish it wasn't so cold out. 

Granted! It's now 75 degrees Fahrenheit, but a tornado is above your neighborhood. 

I wish for a pizza.

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6 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! It's now 75 degrees Fahrenheit, but a tornado is above your neighborhood. 

I wish for a pizza.

Mmmm... pizza!  It feels like sacrilege to do this, but I shall corrupt your pizza :P  

Here's your pizza--it's cheese and sürstromming, with pickled herring sauce.  Oh and it's not mozzarella cheese, it's cazu martzu (aka maggot cheese :puke: ) Enjoy!  :P 

I wish my laundry was done. 

 

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30 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Mmmm... pizza!  It feels like sacrilege to do this, but I shall corrupt your pizza :P  

Here's your pizza--it's cheese and sürstromming, with pickled herring sauce.  Oh and it's not mozzarella cheese, it's cazu martzu (aka maggot cheese :puke: ) Enjoy!  :P 

I wish my laundry was done. 

 

Granted! You're laundry is done, but you forgot to clean out the lint trap and now your dryer is on fire.

I wish my dishes were done!

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2 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! You're laundry is done, but you forgot to clean out the lint trap and now your dryer is on fire.

I wish my dishes were done!

Granted!  Your dog was nice enough to clean all your dishes for you by licking them clean after he licked... well, you know :P  

I wish I had a jacuzzi tub. 

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22 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  Your dog was nice enough to clean all your dishes for you by licking them clean after he licked... well, you know :P  

I wish I had a jacuzzi tub. 

Jesus! I needed a minute after that!

Granted, but the technicians who installed it thought they were installing an outdoor hot tub...on your front porch. 

I wish for an endless supply of toilet paper. Take that you hoarders!

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:gikkle: 

Granted!  You have an endless supply of toilet paper!  In fact, you have so much it now fills your entire house, leaving no room for you to live there.  

I wish my house would clean itself.  

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Just now, Valkyrie said:

:gikkle: 

Granted!  You have an endless supply of toilet paper!  In fact, you have so much it now fills your entire house, leaving no room for you to live there.  

I wish my house would clean itself.  

Granted! You now have a Roomba on every wall, floorspace, and ceiling in every room. And they send you lots of texts that tell you that, "I'm stuck on a cliff!" or, "I'm full! Empty me!"

I wish for a walk-in shower!

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14 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! You now have a Roomba on every wall, floorspace, and ceiling in every room. And they send you lots of texts that tell you that, "I'm stuck on a cliff!" or, "I'm full! Empty me!"

I wish for a walk-in shower!

Granted!  You have a beautiful walk-in shower with multiple showerheads and jets, a bench on the side, and shelves for shampoo and soap.  But it's only a walk-in shower... you will never walk out!  :unsure: 

I wish lunch was ready. 

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11 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  You have a beautiful walk-in shower with multiple showerheads and jets, a bench on the side, and shelves for shampoo and soap.  But it's only a walk-in shower... you will never walk out!  :unsure: 

I wish lunch was ready. 

Granted! Gordon Ramsay has prepared your dream meal and has set the table with everything you need. At his house. 

I wish I could get a pedicure.

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2 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! Gordon Ramsay has prepared your dream meal and has set the table with everything you need. At his house. 

I wish I could get a pedicure.

Granted!  *readies the power sander and nail polish*  

I wish I had an iPhone.  

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Just now, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  *readies the power sander and nail polish*  

I wish I had an iPhone.  

Granted! You receive your new phone, but your salesman misheard what you wanted, so your new phone is in the shape of an eyeball.

I wish for a day off work.

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6 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

 

Granted! You receive your new phone, but your salesman misheard what you wanted, so your new phone is in the shape of an eyeball.

I wish for a day off work.

Granted.  You can have all the days off you want, since you no longer have a job.  

I wish for a warm, fuzzy blanket. 

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9 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You can have all the days off you want, since you no longer have a job.  

I wish for a warm, fuzzy blanket. 

Granted! You now have a warm and fuzzy blanket made of belly button lint.

I wish for world peace!

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Granted! You're mind is now filled with enough ideas and concepts to write a library's worth of material. The only problem is that your newfound ideas are all for baby and toddler books.

I wish for a new coffee maker!

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16 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! You're mind is now filled with enough ideas and concepts to write a library's worth of material. The only problem is that your newfound ideas are all for baby and toddler books.

I wish for a new coffee maker!

Granted. You are given the most advanced coffee maker ever made. The AI is so particular it refuses to make coffee out of the products you provide.

I wish for three hours of motivation a day.

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19 hours ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. You are given the most advanced coffee maker ever made. The AI is so particular it refuses to make coffee out of the products you provide.

I wish for three hours of motivation a day.

Granted! You have three hours of unadulterated pep-in-yo-step! But after those three hours are up, you will need to sleep for the remaining twenty-one hours. 

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

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52 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! You have three hours of unadulterated pep-in-yo-step! But after those three hours are up, you will need to sleep for the remaining twenty-one hours. 

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

Granted!  You no longer have the need to sleep because you're a zombie.  Unfortunately, being a zombie means being ostracized by society and routinely having to run from pitchfork and torch bearing mobs.  

I wish my cats didn't feel the need to sing the song of their people loudly and repeatedly at three am every day.  :unsure: 

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1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  You no longer have the need to sleep because you're a zombie.  Unfortunately, being a zombie means being ostracized by society and routinely having to run from pitchfork and torch bearing mobs.  

I wish my cats didn't feel the need to sing the song of their people loudly and repeatedly at three am every day.  :unsure: 

Granted! Your cats now respect your time constraints and have moved their concert to four in the morning.

I wish I wasn't allergic to dogs.

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6 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

Granted! Your cats now respect your time constraints and have moved their concert to four in the morning.

I wish I wasn't allergic to dogs.

Granted!  You are no longer allergic to dogs; however, they are allergic to you :P 

I wish I had a cookie.  

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1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  You are no longer allergic to dogs; however, they are allergic to you :P 

I wish I had a cookie.  

That! Is so dastardly!!!

Granted! Upon vacuuming under your couch, you have found the cookie. Good luck guessing how long that's been there. 

I wish more people would join in on this forum game. 

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14 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

That! Is so dastardly!!!

Granted! Upon vacuuming under your couch, you have found the cookie. Good luck guessing how long that's been there. 

I wish more people would join in on this forum game. 

:devil:

Granted!  Every single GA member decides to play this game at the same time, which crashes the site.  :unsure:  

I wish for a non-moldy cookie :P  

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