Corrupt A Wish

[Reader1810]

Granted: Unfortunately, you develop severe seasonal allergies, so you can’t enjoy the greatest Spring weather on record. 

 

I wish I had a new desk in my den. 

[comicfan]

Granted- a new desk was delivered, but it has no screws or nails, and the directions are in Latin.

 

I wish I had a puppy.

[drpaladin]

Granted, He's so happy every time he sees you he jumps into your lap and pees. Now there are rumors you are incontinent.

 

I wish I could find the usb drive I'm missing.

[Valkyrie]

Granted.  But someone replaced all your files with episodes of Barney. 

 

I wish my heartburn would go away.   

[drpaladin]

Granted. It transitions into hiccups.

 

I wish the deli hadn't trimmed the menu down to two lousy, overpriced sandwiches.

Edited February 19, 2018 by drpaladin

[comicfan]

Granted, but now you work making all the new sandwiches.

 

I wish I could go on vacation.

[Valkyrie]

4 minutes ago, comicfan said:

Granted, but now you work making all the new sandwiches.

 

I wish I could go on vacation.

Granted.  You have the money, means, and time off for your dream vacation   But you've caught the flu and are quarantined until further notice.   

 

I wish I had remembered to buy cat food yesterday. 

[comicfan]

Granted, you have the cat food, but your cats have brought home dogs and will cry until you feed the dogs too.

 

Wish the storm would stop.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, comicfan said:

Granted, you have the cat food, but your cats have brought home dogs and will cry until you feed the dogs too.

 

Wish the storm would stop.

Granted.  The storm has stopped after dumping ten feet of snow directly on your neighborhood.  Temps will remain below freezing for over a week and high winds prevent any attempts at clearing it away. 

 

I wish I had pizza   

[VampireMystic]

9 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  The storm has stopped after dumping ten feet of snow directly on your neighborhood.  Temps will remain below freezing for over a week and high winds prevent any attempts at clearing it away. 

 

I wish I had pizza   

Granted: The exactly as ordered pizza, perfectly cooked pizza is delivered ahead of schedule.

 

Only to be dropped from your own hand 6 inches from your table.

 

It is the last of that crust that they had. So they cannot replace it. They, the only one of that chain that will deliver to your residence, are going out if business tomorrow so they won't give you a gift card until 3 weeks later. Which you must drive 2 hours to redeem, so the pizza is cold by the time you get it home.

 

I wish that I had a double batch of french toast hot and ready to eat

[Valkyrie]

4 minutes ago, VampireMystic said:

I wish that I had a double batch of french toast hot and ready to eat

Cheerfully granted   You have not just a double batch, but triple batch of French toast, hot and ready for consumption.  Sadly, your jaw is wired shut and you can only consume liquid meals from a straw.  And boy is that French toast yummy.. especially with butter and maple syrup!

 

I wish someone would clean my house for me.  And do a good job cleaning it.  

[VampireMystic]

(I may have been excessive. That is why I chose a wish that would allow you to avenge your pizza.

 

 I thought about toning down the post, but had so much fun.  and then I gave it life, and it was beautiful and I couldn't kill it.

 

 now it go read your reply.)

 

Granted:  your house and everything in it has been rendered in better than new condition.  an hour later,  there is an electrical fire and your house burns down

[Valkyrie]

There is no excessive in Corrupt a Wish.  Excessive is what makes it fun

 

(and you forgot to make a wish ) 

[VampireMystic]

I wish that I had made a wish when I was supposed to make a wish. 

 

That sort of thing has been done already. 

 

 I've been awake since yesterday, I'm doing fabulous All Things Considered.

 

Wish for sleep? No, too easy. You'll Rip Van Winkle me into the next century. 

 

 wish for my broken washing machine to work? Too easy,  you'll break the dryer. 

 

All my dirty laundry clean? Something about a red sock.

 

 I wish to be surprised by what is posted next

Edited March 2, 2018 by VampireMystic

[Valkyrie]

28 minutes ago, VampireMystic said:

 I wish to be surprised by what is posted next

Granted   You are so surprised by what is posted next that you walk around with a perpetually-frozen expression of disbelief.  Your mom warned you.  Should have listened.   

 

I wish the people I contracted to plow my driveway and clear my sidewalk would actually do their job.   

[drpaladin]

31 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted   You are so surprised by what is posted next that you walk around with a perpetually-frozen expression of disbelief.  Your mom warned you.  Should have listened.   

 

I wish the people I contracted to plow my driveway and clear my sidewalk would actually do their job.   

Granted. Unfortunately, they understood your instructions as remove the driveway and sidewalk.

 

I wish Fedex would hurry up and get here.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

I wish Fedex would hurry up and get here.

Granted.  They are at your door with the mangled remnants of your package.  

 

I wish dinner was ready.

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  They are at your door with the mangled remnants of your package.  

 

I wish dinner was ready.

Granted. It was ready, but someone ate it.

 

I wish these packages were easier to open.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

I wish these packages were easier to open.

Granted.  It's so easy to open, it's already open, leaving you with an empty box.  

 

I wish I had chili dogs for dinner.  

[FormerMember4]

Granted @Valkyrie. Your chili dog served with a chunk of finger.

 

I wish for a sun filled tropical vacation.

Edited March 2, 2018 by BlindAmbition

[drpaladin]

19 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  It's so easy to open, it's already open, leaving you with an empty box.  

 

I wish I had chili dogs for dinner.  

 

Granted. The dogs are cold, hungry, and looking at you a bit expectantly.

 

I wish I had seen the guy who delivered this refrigerator-sized package.

 

 

[VampireMystic]

36 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  It's so easy to open, it's already open, leaving you with an empty box.  

( I was going to say almost exactly that, except I was going to have it be empty because it was stolen while it was waiting outside

 

 I just didn't  have a wish wish)

[comicfan]

Wish granted @drpaladin, except the guy is female weight lifter and she finds you attractive. 

 

I wish I could go to Disney World.

[Wesley8890]

29 minutes ago, comicfan said:

Wish granted @drpaladin, except the guy is female weight lifter and she finds you attractive. 

 

I wish I could go to Disney World.

Granted but none of the rides are working

 

I wish I was a ninja

[Valkyrie]

1 hour ago, Wesley8890 said:

Granted but none of the rides are working

 

I wish I was a ninja

Granted!  You are now a ninja  Not that kind of ninja... a top of the line Ninja blender!   

 

 

I wish I had a mojito