Corrupt A Wish

[Valkyrie]

3 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

Granted. But all you can see is me, and that's enough to send you flying away in terror. Or to the washroom to lose your lunch. 

Aww.... he'd be thrilled if all he can see is you.   

 

I wish the weather forecasters were accurate about the daytime temperatures. 

Granted.  They are pinpoint accurate about predicting the sub-zero (Fahrenheit)  temperatures predicted for winter.  

 

I wish my stomach would stop grumbling.  

[Parker Owens]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  They are pinpoint accurate about predicting the sub-zero (Fahrenheit)  temperatures predicted for winter.  

 

I wish my stomach would stop grumbling.  

 

This is a wish that is easily and cheerfully granted.  Your stomach stops grumbling. It commences shouting, stomping and demonstrating like convention goers nominating the winning candidate. 

 

I wish I had less homework to grade tonight.

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

This is a wish that is easily and cheerfully granted.  Your stomach stops grumbling. It commences shouting, stomping and demonstrating like convention goers nominating the winning candidate. 

 

I wish I had less homework to grade tonight.

Granted.  You have one less paper to grade tonight.  Unfortunately, the rest of them are so horrible, it requires double the time it normally does to grade them. 

 

I wish I had ice cream. 

[FormerMember4]

Granted. Ice cream was made with sour milk.

I wish everyday was a Spice Rack poetry day!

Edited September 12, 2017 by BlindAmbition

[Parker Owens]

Granted. Every day will be Spice Rack Poetry Day.  But ghost peppers and cardamom and cumin exacerbate your ulcers. Did you forget the ulcers?

 

I wish I had more inspiration.

[Valkyrie]

1 minute ago, Parker Owens said:

Granted. Every day will be Spice Rack Poetry Day.  But ghost peppers and cardamom and cumin exacerbate your ulcers. Did you forget the ulcers?

 

I wish I had more inspiration.

Granted.  You are inspired to sit on the couch all day, watching Bills games and munching on chicken wings.   

 

I wish I had an appetite. 

 

 

[FormerMember4]

5 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You are inspired to sit on the couch all day, watching Bills games and munching on chicken wings.   

 

I wish I had an appetite. 

 

 

Granted. You start eating and can't stop.

i wish I could drive.

[Parker Owens]

8 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

Granted. You start eating and can't stop.

i wish I could drive.

 

I am delighted to grant you this wish. You can drive, certainly. Let me offer you the latest in golfing technology....but where is your tee? 

 

I wish I did not have to go to supper. 

[Valkyrie]

8 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

I am delighted to grant you this wish. You can drive, certainly. Let me offer you the latest in golfing technology....but where is your tee? 

 

I wish I did not have to go to supper. 

Granted.  You don't have to go to supper.  It's been rescheduled to breakfast.  At 6:00 am. And attendance is mandatory if you wish to remain gainfully employed.  

 

I wish the cats knew how to do housework. 

[Parker Owens]

Well of course the cats know how to do housework. That doesn't mean they have any intention of doing any. 

 

I wish my my homework would grade itself.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Parker Owens said:

Well of course the cats know how to do housework. That doesn't mean they have any intention of doing any.   

 

I wish my my homework would grade itself.

Granted.  In fact, I'll do even better than having your homework grade itself.  I'll send the cats over to grade it for you!  Unfortunately, they are prone to yakking up hairballs, so I can't guarantee the pristine condition of the papers when they are done.  

 

I wish my back didn't hurt when I cough.  

[FormerMember4]

14 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  In fact, I'll do even better than having your homework grade itself.  I'll send the cats over to grade it for you!  Unfortunately, they are prone to yakking up hairballs, so I can't guarantee the pristine condition of the papers when they are done.  

 

I wish my back didn't hurt when I cough.  

Granted. You cough up a lung, forgetting your back.

i wish I had 10 million dollars!

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

Granted. You cough up a lung, forgetting your back.

i wish I had 10 million dollars!

Granted!  You are now the proud owner of ten million Monopoly dollars   

 

I wish I had more than a pumpkin muffin for dinner. 

[FormerMember4]

5 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted!  You are now the proud owner of ten million Monopoly dollars   

 

I wish I had more than a pumpkin muffin for dinner. 

Granted. I order you Chinese food. You open box to find a fur ball on what should be beef.

I wish everyday was Christmas.

[Valkyrie]

19 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

Granted. I order you Chinese food. You open box to find a fur ball on what should be beef.

I wish everyday was Christmas.

Granted.  Every day is now Christmas.  You have to wear ugly Christmas sweaters and sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" before every meal.  In its entirety.  No skipping parts or you don't eat.  You also have to leave cookies and milk out for Santa every single night.  No exceptions or you don't want to face his wrath...  

 

I wish cable wasn't so expensive. 

[FormerMember4]

6 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  Every day is now Christmas.  You have to wear ugly Christmas sweaters and sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" before every meal.  In its entirety.  No skipping parts or you don't eat.  You also have to leave cookies and milk out for Santa every single night.  No exceptions or you don't want to face his wrath...  

 

I wish cable wasn't so expensive. 

Granted. No longer have to worry about cable costs. You can watch fish channel, or burning log.

i wish for a Big Mac tonight.

[Valkyrie]

6 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

Granted. No longer have to worry about cable costs. You can watch fish channel, or burning log.

i wish for a Big Mac tonight.

Granted.  You have a Big Mac that's been sitting in the sun for three days.  I'm sure the burger is fine, but the condiments... not so much.  

 

I wish my laundry was done.  

[FormerMember4]

2 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You have a Big Mac that's been sitting in the sun for three days.  I'm sure the burger is fine, but the condiments... not so much.  

 

I wish my laundry was done.  

Granted. The washer shredded your clothes, leaving you with none.

i wish I was eating muffins with @Valkyrie back home in NY.

[Solus Magus]

Granted. But the muffins were really really spicy.

 

I wish I have a new phone.

[drpaladin]

36 minutes ago, Solus Magus said:

Granted. But the muffins were really really spicy.

 

I wish I have a new phone.

 

Granted. It has a round dial and cord.

 

I wish Fedex hadn't waited until nearly 8PM to deliver my package.

Edited October 19, 2017 by drpaladin

[Solus Magus]

On 10/19/2017 at 2:50 PM, drpaladin said:

Granted. It has a round dial and cord.

 

I wish Fedex hadn't waited until nearly 8PM to deliver my package.

Granted. But they delivered the wrong package.

 

I wish I'm over my ex.

[drpaladin]

1 hour ago, Solus Magus said:

Granted. But they delivered the wrong package.

 

I wish I'm over my ex.

I never get wrong packages. Knock on wood. The constant problem is finding my house, which delivery people refer to as 'the hidden house.'

 

Granted. A blow to the head erases the last ten years. Doesn't that present some interesting problems and possibilities?

 

I wish I hadn't been afflicted with the sleep of death most of the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Drew Espinosa]

I wish this game would come back to life.

[northie]

4 minutes ago, Drew Espinosa said:

I wish this game would come back to life.

It does and occupies you 24/7.  

 

I wish I was a better cook.

[Drew Espinosa]

6 minutes ago, northie said:

I wish I was a better cook.

Granted, but you still get food poisoning when you eat your own food.  

 

I wish Spring would arrive already.