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BHopper2's Saturday Writer's Coffee Talk


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Hello, my fellow writers. How are you doing this fine Caturday? I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I'm sitting here, sipping on my 3rd tankard of coffee, and planning my events for this wonderful Saturday. I have some research to do, working on a Prompt Story (#646), and gearing up for an Online Session of Dungeons and Dragons later this afternoon. So what are you up to? What would you like to talk about? Let's chat, and work together! Just us writers, and see where this takes us.

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9 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Hello, my fellow writers. How are you doing this fine Caturday? I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I'm sitting here, sipping on my 3rd tankard of coffee, and planning my events for this wonderful Saturday. I have some research to do, working on a Prompt Story (#646), and gearing up for an Online Session of Dungeons and Dragons later this afternoon. So what are you up to? What would you like to talk about? Let's chat, and work together! Just us writers, and see where this takes us.

i'm looking at a friend's chapter ... :)   And another day of snow... otherwise not doing much. 

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Hahaha! SNL memories! Wild!

 

Actually, my mom's birthday was on Monday, the 5th, so we celebrated with some family on that day. But had a much bigger party on Saturday with a bigger crowd and food and kids playing video games and the best kind of madness. (With 'drink') So that was my 'Dog-urday'! I don't do cats. Hehehe! Sorry.

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I mentioned above I was working on a prompt story, for #646. Here are the first few lines:

 

Quote

 

“Hurry! You need to the get on the transport, NOW!!!” The soldier yelled at me, as I was ripped from my house and family in the middle of the night. My Mom, Dad, and Sister were all being held back at gunpoint, as I was taken away. Barely dressed in boxer briefs and PJ bottoms, not fully awake, I found myself being manhandled, while I tried to resist, into a Humvee, and spirited away.

 

“I haven’t done anything! Where are you taking me? What about my family!” I demanded, but didn’t try to escape, as I was surrounded by strong soldiers dressed in full combat kit, and carrying their weapons at the ready. ‘What did I do? I’m only sixteen years old, I haven’t done anything!’ I thought and shivered as the cool night air blew across my naked torso.

 

“Here, take this,” the officer in the front seat said and tossed me a blanket to wrap up in. “You’ll be told more when you get to your destination, Mr. Andrews. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones.” With that, he turned around and ignored my pleas for more information.

 

 

 

Right after this, our hero finds himself on a C-130 cargo plane, strapped into a fold down seat on the side of the plane, surrounded by other civies. Then gets knocked out, as a medic goes around giving them all air injector shots. That's about as far, as I've written, as I was also working on the RetCon of Chapter 1 on my Half-Elven Warlock story, and answering all the replies, and PMs I got for my Forbidden Love story.

Edited by BHopper2
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See? This is the PERFECT way to start a story off with a bang! It's interesting, involving, mysterious...and yet, it sets the stage in a really amazing way! It delivers so much information in a short amount of time. You know the situation, you know how old your main character is, you know he has a mom, dad, and sister, you know there are soldiers and cargo planes and an emergency happening...I'm already engaged! I can visualize what's going on, I'm interested to know what happens from here...let's do it! I'm all in! :)

 

Awesome start @BHopper2!!! 

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Thanks, @Comicality. Here's a bit more.... it's fairly raw right now:

 

Quote

 

The trip to the air base didn’t take long, and once there, I was whisked off the Humvee and onto a C-130 cargo plane. Sitting in the back, on a fold-down seat, I looked around at the soldiers and other civilians that were seated with me. Most were in their later 20’s and early 30’s, but there was another teen boy around my age. I nodded to him, and he smiled a little, but we were sitting opposite each other and several seats away, so we couldn’t talk. The engines were already started, and once the officer from earlier boarded, the rear hatch closed and the plane took off.

 

It was loud, and we were given headphones to wear. They were connected to a communication system, but it was not active. Shortly into the flight, a medic came around and gave us all an air injection. I don’t know what it was, but it knocked me out for the rest of the flight. They used smelling salts to wake us, and when they did, we had already landed, and the early morning glow of pre-dawn was starting to color the sky outside the open rear hatch.

 

“Listen up,” the officer for the night before said after everyone was awake. “I’m Major Green, and I’ve been assigned to you. Outside of the plane, on the tarmac is a series of tables in a line. You’ll start at the first table, and proceed to the next, getting the items that have been assigned to you, and booster shots. This is like a mini-induction for soldiers in boot-camp, but you are not soldiers. After you get your gear, you’ll walk quickly to the hanger, and enter through the security door.” He paused to see if everyone was listening and getting what he said. “One of the tables will have a Non-Disclosure Agreement for you to sign. If you do not sign the NDA, you’ll be getting another one of these knockout shots, but this time, you will not be waking up. Am I clear?”

 

A round of “Yes, Sir” was said by all of us in the cargo plane.

 

“Good. Mr. Andrews, and Mr. Baker. Congrats… under FISA Court Order 615.219-07 and -08, you two have been emancipated. Even though you’re both only 16-years-old, you’re now considered legal adults. Sign the forms like everyone else.” With one last look, he shouted, “MOVE OUT!”

 

 

 

Edited by BHopper2
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9 minutes ago, Comicality said:

Wait...weren't you the one worried about 1st person? Hehehe, seems fine to me!

 

What's the name of this story again?

Yes, I'm the guy that has started all the first person topics. LOL. I've been using the advice you all give, along with the GA writing Prompts to practice. I still feel that I suck at it.

 

No title yet. These are snippets to what I'm writing for Prompt #646, You were the last person placed into the ship. You haven’t fully realized what is happening when the ship begins to take off. Why are you on the ship and where are you going?

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