Dark and Stormy

[Carlos Hazday]

It was a dark and stormy night…
It was late at night…
It was the first day of school…

 

I roll my eyes and yawn when I see any of the above—or any variation of it was—as the opening line of a story. To me, they sound lazy. As if the author was unable to conjure a new thought to share and decided to rely on old clichés. I’m not a polished writer but even I can do better. How about:

 

Darkness hid the damage caused by the raging storm…

Sunrise was closer than sunset…
The beginning of a new school year…

 

My alternatives may not be the best or most literary but I think they read a heck of a lot better than the bland ones that began this entry. Anybody else feel the same or have a differing opinion?

Edited June 4, 2018 by Carlos Hazday

[FormerMember4]

Reading that type of opening is lazy. Something you’d expect from a new writer. One who hopefully learns quickly.

When I see that... First thought is author lacks imagination. The second is that this story is going to be a predictable yawn.

[Brayon]

And I was just about to use, "It was a dark, and stormy night' too. Shucks...

 

In all seriousness, it would depend on the type of story, because those opening could fit for some. Like a satire piece, or a comedic story. Otherwise, there's a reason why "It was a dark, and stormy night" is regarded as a bad opener.

[Headstall]

I agree, Carlos. I try not to judge too harshly... especially when an author is new to the craft. But, as a reader, I find the first line, the first paragraph, the first chapter... is so important. It sets the tone. It's your chance to hook me, and impart something that makes me curious.

 

Laziness is definitely the enemy to a writer. I've learned not to be in too much of a hurry to write a story. I understand the rush, but take the time to do it right. In some form or another, it can be around forever, and deserves our absolute best.  I'm not saying it's rocket science, but writing is supposed to be hard work. Even if you are naturally talented, application is necessary. Don't shortchange a good story by taking shortcuts. Pay attention, do the research, and review your efforts with a harsh eye. Not all the words we write are golden, but they can be with the right attitude. We owe it to ourselves. Just saying...   

[Mikiesboy]

I agree. For me i write what i think then ill go back and fix it. Then leave it and go back a few days later. Time is your friend. Dont rush like Gary said. And dont be afraid to move things around and rewrite. Put your best work out which is hard work. Dont be lazy either. Dont take the easy way.

[Timothy M.]

Before replying to this topic I checked my stories to make sure none of them began with a cliché.

They didn't, but most of them don't start off with anything eye catching either. But that's OK, then readers will get the right idea about the level of story telling.  

 

I can understand your reaction, Carlos. On the other hand, if the story is so bad, then it's almost a blessing to have them start with those words, because we as readers can run away immediately and not waste any more time.

[Carlos Hazday]

 

@Headstall

 

I agree rookies should be given latitude. My problem arises when a popular author with a few stories behind them and a slate of editors and beta readers appears to stagnate. I realize some of it is me cringing at things I may have done myself but once Mann slaps my hand once or twice I try not to repeat the circumstances leading to said slapping.

 

 

@Timothy M.

 

I don't always do it but I like when a story or chapter starts off with dialogue. A good line of dialogue can capture my imagination better than ten paragraphs of narrative. Maybe I've been weaned on TV but dialogue is essential for me to enjoy a story. More than once, I've abandoned something by decent authors after reading explanations and internal struggles ad nauseam. Yawn.

[FormerMember4]

I remembered an article I read and kept. It’s so basic, but very true. http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/write-first-chapter-get-started/10-ways-to-start-your-story-better

[Daddydavek]

This topic made me laugh as I thought of an old story I wrote several years ago and never posted.  

 

It starts like this:

 

It really was a dark and stormy summer night in late June. Rain lashed the house on all sides, the winds gusted and blew like only a summer storm in the midwest could, and lightening flashed repeatedly followed by the deep rumbling and loud crack of incessant thunder. It was after midnight, but who could sleep through that, certainly not this sixty-six year old widower.

[Mikiesboy]

Why not approach them and inquire or make a suggestion @Carlos Hazday...maybe it would help?

[Carlos Hazday]

42 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

I remembered an article I read and kept. It’s so basic, but very true. http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/write-first-chapter-get-started/10-ways-to-start-your-story-better

 

Good article! Thank you.

 

I will strive to emulate #7 in my next book. Story and each chapter.

[Carlos Hazday]

30 minutes ago, Daddydavek said:

This topic made me laugh as I thought of an old story I wrote several years ago and never posted.  

 

It starts like this:

 

It really was a dark and stormy summer night in late June.

 

 

I actually like that, Dave. It has a tongue-in-cheek feel to it that makes it interesting. Amazing what one word can accomplish.

[Carlos Hazday]

16 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Why not approach them and inquire or make a suggestion @Carlos Hazday...maybe it would help?

 

I have and I do. A couple of authors have listed me as editor making me cringe. Commas and I are not on speaking terms and I know just enough to be dangerous in other areas. I have no business editing but I'll gladly share what others have taught me.

 

Not to rehash the conversation about how to comment/review and how to react to less than stellar ones; there are some people who think their poop doesn't stink and scream to high heaven when their work is not praised. Those fools I tend to ignore and often abandon whatever I was reading of theirs.

[Mikiesboy]

1 hour ago, Carlos Hazday said:

 

I have and I do. A couple of authors have listed me as editor making me cringe. Commas and I are not on speaking terms and I know just enough to be dangerous in other areas. I have no business editing but I'll gladly share what others have taught me.

 

Not to rehash the conversation about how to comment/review and how to react to less than stellar ones; there are some people who think their poop doesn't stink and scream to high heaven when their work is not praised. Those fools I tend to ignore and often abandon whatever I was reading of theirs.

I can edit pretty well for content...but i am right there with you with commas.

 

You're right some dont want to know. Smart ones listen. I like to read smart stuff. Which reminds me..im back a.ch with you!

[northie]

2 hours ago, Carlos Hazday said:

I don't always do it but I like when a story or chapter starts off with dialogue

Dialogue is often there right at the start for me. Not necessarily the very first thing, but soon after. I rarely start with any description. In fact off site, I've been taken to task for not 'placing' my stories properly (admittedly this was in respect of microfiction which hasn't been seen here). 

[Carlos Hazday]

14 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

I can edit pretty well for content...but i am right there with you with commas.

 

You're right some dont want to know. Smart ones listen. I like to read smart stuff. Which reminds me..im back a.ch with you!

 

Last Friday was a transition between the Florida vacation with Harley and the beginning of the wedding ones. This Friday, for the first time the date on the calendar matches the one in the chapter. That means I wrote in the future! Kinda strange the story's timeline has caught up with real life.

 

Oh, and the coming chapter does start with a short line of dialogue LOL

[Mikiesboy]

Lol dialogue aint the only way skin a cat....hehe

[Carlos Hazday]

16 minutes ago, northie said:

Dialogue is often there right at the start for me. Not necessarily the very first thing, but soon after. I rarely start with any description. In fact off site, I've been taken to task for not 'placing' my stories properly (admittedly this was in respect of microfiction which hasn't been seen here). 

 

I tend to go overboard with my 'placing' but readers seem to like my descriptions of places the characters visit. Even there, I rely on dialogue to describe what my boys are seeing and doing most of the time. Why describe a chapel, like I did in my last chapter, when I can have CJ talk about it after saying he would consider getting married in it. Of course, it's not all conversation. I try to mix it up. I think someone said a good ratio is close to 50-50.

[FormerMember4]

7 minutes ago, Carlos Hazday said:

 

I tend to go overboard with my 'placing' but readers seem to like my descriptions of places the characters visit. Even there, I rely on dialogue to describe what my boys are seeing and doing most of the time. Why describe a chapel, like I did in my last chapter, when I can have CJ talk about it after saying he would consider getting married in it. Of course, it's not all conversation. I try to mix it up. I think someone said a good ratio is close to 50-50.

You do well with dialogue/description. Enough description for this boy to visualize. Not too much that I’m getting a college lecture. Enough dialogue to put me in whoever’s shoes.

[CassieQ]

I'll give a first line a pass, but if I read about the intricate details the main character getting ready for school, I'll nope out pretty fast, because that is a hallmark that a story will be boring as hell.  No-one care how your protagonist gets ready for school.  At least have them wake up and do something interesting.    

[MacGreg]

29 minutes ago, CassieQ said:

I'll give a first line a pass, but if I read about the intricate details the main character getting ready for school, I'll nope out pretty fast, because that is a hallmark that a story will be boring as hell.  No-one care how your protagonist gets ready for school.  At least have them wake up and do something interesting.    

Or not wake up and do something interesting. 

[Larry Davis]

the first group of phrases were boring and expect, however the second choice of phrases were much better. 

 

 

 

 

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