CincyKris
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Everything posted by CincyKris
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These flashbacks add so much understanding into Jase's mindset. His reactions in the last chapter make perfect sense.
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Engineer Benson - Chapter 3 - July 13, 1993
CincyKris commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Engineer Benson - Chapter 3 - July 13, 1993
I like that you're writing this as an alternate universe, you can make your own rules. If this were real life, the military would probably have already staged an "accident" and torched Knox County off the earth, with Wayne and Mark dying as collateral damage! I think the move to Bob's is a great idea. Staying at Wayne's would have been waiting to die. People need hope, otherwise why bother? -
I don’t know if Macy’s parents were involved in any drugs at all, I think they were collateral damage and Macy was always the target. I’m pretty sure the drugs were planted by the murderers. I’m not sure if Swift believes the drugs story or is going with it for cover, he is still a big mystery. Jase losing contact with Macy is troubling, but he still has his persuasive power, so I don’t think the universe is done with him yet.
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Was Macy drawn towards something or someone? Or was something or someone drawn towards her? I liked the theme of the power and evil of greed, the setting exemplifies this idea.
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I think Swift possesses the same power of influence as Jase! He made quick fans of Martinez and Scott. He may or may not actually be a cop, but was at the crime scene and at the station, he could have talked his way in. If he does have the power, then he already knows that Jase and Lucas are immune. Is he a good guy or a bad guy? This mystery is getting better and better!
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Finally! Hopefully this will start a new journey with his personal and professional life!
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Me too! Shaggy and unkempt, snorting and pawing at the ground!
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I was rooting for Mama the whole way! So is Gordy a cow? bison? yak????
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I can't imagine how overwhelmed Bryce must feel. He was still struggling with the thought that this new life would be taken away.
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Great chapter! I think that putting it where you did (instead of chapter 2), allowed us to mirror the confusion, frustration, and relief that Jase is experiencing. Philip's official job may have been completed, but he most certainly saved another soul.
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Lucas is struggling to trust Jase, I think Jase is succeeding, little by little. Macy still impresses me with her practicality and insight. She may be 7 in years, but seems to have a much older soul.
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Chapter 2 Transcendental Taxi
CincyKris commented on astone2292's story chapter in Chapter 2 Transcendental Taxi
I loved Cash Cab, and may have had a little crush on Ben Bailey, thanks for the reminiscing! I enjoyed Cyn’s reactions to NYC, it’s funny to think this is the same little deer that had never heard of a salad, now he’s googling local restaurants and leading Shea to food!- 126 comments
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I can’t imagine how difficult Alex’s childhood was, specially his school experiences. That he turned out to be the great person he is now instead of an angry and bitter recluse is a wonder. Probably due to his loving family. I wouldn’t want to cross mama and “the spoon.”
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I have a feeling that Jase’s skills will be necessary to keep Lucas out of trouble. I still think the most extraordinary character is Macy. I look forward to finding out why she is so important!
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CJ handled the confrontation in classic CJ fashion. He refused to backdown without being physically aggressive. He let his opponent’s own stupidity do him in. Great chapter!
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Chapter 1 - July 9-11, 1993
CincyKris commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Chapter 1 - July 9-11, 1993
I love the unique take on a zombie apocalypse story. You've set a great mood.- 29 comments
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As much as I enjoy fantasy/alternate reality novels, I am still bothered by continuity issues and logical inconsistency. You have mastered a premise that avoids these! I have stopped reading many reasonably well-written stories in which the alternate realities were poorly developed. In my opinion, the writers were either incapable of creating a believable world, or just lazy! You have succeeded in creating a seperate alternate world with it's own believable rules inside of an existing fantasy.
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Excellent pace and action! Lucas hopefully sees that Jase is one of the good guys now. It's obvious now that Macy is the target. The parents were probably collateral damage, although the vicious manner of the murders is unusual. I think the author handled the 7 year time pass well. We know Jase's thoughts and goals and have a general feel for what he has gone through in those 7 years without having read multiple chapters. Very masterful writing!
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Great comments above! History (and present day) teaches us that people fear what they don't understand and despise those who possess abilities they do not. I can only hope that our tortured hero will be transported to a place that understands and appreciates him!
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Very interesting that Jase's power of persuasion does not work on Lucas. I can't wait to find out what is so special about Macy. I assume she has an illness, or why else would Jase feel compelled to help her. I also assume the people that killed her parents were after Macy.
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Bryce a Firenze, Parte Quattro
CincyKris commented on Late to the party's story chapter in Bryce a Firenze, Parte Quattro
A short trip with lifelong memories! Bryce's bad memories are being replaced with great ones. -
Wonderful job setting up the mood and atmosphere! The characters are intriguing, the setting almost dystopian.
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This is a great start! With the summary, I assume this will continue, but it's listed as complete. Please give us more of this intriguing tale.
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Bryce a Firenze, Parte Tre
CincyKris commented on Late to the party's story chapter in Bryce a Firenze, Parte Tre
My impression is that they are important to the make-up of Bryce, like the concrete foundation of a house. But Alex and Nico are responsible for the building of the house. Bryce is responsible for the finishings. And as for the narrow minded, fuck em! You're awesome, if they don't like parts of your story, they can just stop reading. -
Bryce a Firenze, Parte Tre
CincyKris commented on Late to the party's story chapter in Bryce a Firenze, Parte Tre
I loved the tone and sentiments through this chapter. Bryce already felt a part of his small family, but to be included into his parent's whole family is very special. I don't remember whether there were any extended family from his birth parents?
