Streak - 35. Chapter 35

November 17, 2002

Claremont, OH

Will

I woke up slowly, and let my arm reach over to Zach’s side of the bed. When I didn’t feel him next to me, it jarred me out of my slumber. I looked around the room and saw him standing in front of the window, stark naked. He was standing far enough back that no one would see him, assuming someone was walking through our backyard at 5:00 in the morning. I paused to just admire his form. He was so ripped, that whenever he moved, his muscles became visible, almost like they were hidden and then they popped into view. His back was to me, probably one of the most beautiful sights in the world. His shoulders marked the broadest point of his body, which tapered down in a gradual ‘V’ pattern until it got to his ass. Below that were his legs, legs that were incredibly strong, and probably the most muscular part of his whole body. Having his huge torso taper down to that ass made it look small, even though he had big globes for cheeks, an indication of how muscular his glutes were. His ass seemed even smaller since it was also bordered by his tree-trunk legs.

But he was so much more than just an amazing body, and once I sated myself by letting my eyes feast on his backside, I looked at the man underneath the skin, and I could feel how tormented he was. Ever since his meeting with the counselor, he’d been fucked up. I’d seen him do this lots of times, where he’d flail around, trying to figure out what to do. Once he made his mind up, he was determined and focused, but until then, he was like a ping-pong ball, bouncing from one thought to the next. I liked that, because it meant that he could usually look at things objectively and make good decisions, but when it came to his parents, his instincts seem to leave him.

He sighed and raised his arm up so his hand was on the back of his neck, and he began to squeeze it, as if trying to release his tension. That maneuver made his biceps and triceps bulge out, making him look even sexier, as if that were possible. I got up, making noise so he’d know I was there, and walked over to him. I replaced his hand with mine as I gently kneaded his neck and shoulders. “Feels good,” he almost purred.

I massaged his neck for quite a while, something I normally didn’t enjoy doing, but for him it was actually fun. I could feel the tension flowing from his body, and being able to do that for him was a total rush. He turned around, which had the effect of stopping his massage. Instead, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and leaned in to kiss him. I could feel the angst in him. “I love you,” I said, to prop him up.

“I love you too,” he said, smiling at me. And then, in that way that he does, he got a look of total resolve.

“What?”

“I want you to go with me today,” he said firmly.

“Are you sure?” I asked him. He gave me a dirty look, since he’d made up his mind and he was done deliberating, but this was a big deal.

“I’m sure,” he said. “You’ll go with me, won’t you?”

Now it was my turn to give him a dirty look. “Yes, I’ll go with you. I told you that last night, but I’ll say it again now.”

“I’m worried,” he said.

“Baby, things will be just fine. I don’t think they’ll disown you, and even if they do, maybe at least then they’ll leave you alone,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Alright, then what’s bugging you?” I asked.

“I’m worried about us,” he said. That freaked me out, since that could be the prelude to some really bad news, like he was planning to break up with me, but he’d just told me he loved me, and he wanted me to go with him, so that couldn’t be it.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Not a damn thing,” he said hastily. “It’s just that this time next year, I’ll be away, doing the college football thing and you’ll still be in Paly.”

“You’re worried because we’ll be going in different directions,” I summarized. He nodded. He was so sweet, and so adorable, and when he let his shields down and let me see the real person underneath them, it was so incredibly intimate, it made me love him that much more. “I think it will be tough on both of us, but my feelings for you aren’t going to die just because you move away.”

“They say the odds of a high school romance surviving college are pretty slim,” he said.

I made him come back and lie in bed with me, because I was tired of standing up, because I was cold, and because I wanted to be closer to him. “My dad and Robbie broke up in college.”

“See,” he said.

“But they ended up back together,” I said.

“That doesn’t always happen,” he said.

I put my hand on his chin and pulled his face around so he was looking at me, then I gave him a gentle kiss. “It does when you’re soul mates.”

“Are we?” he asked.

“What do you think?” I asked, teasing him.

“I think we’ll end up together,” he said, telling me in his own way that he thought we were.

“So do I,” I said. He kissed me again, only this time it got more passionate. We made love, and that seemed to clear the storm cloud in his brain, and we were able to go back to sleep for a little bit longer.

He woke me up again, about half an hour before we needed to get ready, and we had sex again. I got the feeling that he needed the physical reassurance. That and we were constantly horny anyway. We went down to breakfast to find Grand there, reading his paper. He’d decided to stay here in Claremont, claiming he had some people at CIT to talk to, but I think he did it just to be around for Zach. “Good morning,” he said pleasantly.

“Morning,” Zach and I said, much less enthusiastically.

“And you are meeting with your parents this morning?” Grand asked Zach.

“I am, and Will’s going with me,” he said. Grand raised an eyebrow, showing that we’d made him curious, but he was too polite to pry. “I’m going to tell my parents we’re together.” It was a rare day to see Grand actually look shocked, but he did today.

“I am confident that this will turn out to be a good thing, but regardless, we are here for you,” Grand said.

“Thanks,” Zach said, and seemed a little choked up. We ate a fast breakfast, and then got ready to drive to see the counselor.

“I have some errands to run, so I will need the Mercedes,” he said. “You will have to take the Corvette.” Zach and I both grinned. The Corvette was a 1963 convertible he’d bought his parents. It had been brand new, and it had less than 20,000 miles on it, so little use had it gotten. It was a blast to drive, unless it was snowing.

“Thanks,” I said. He got up and gave me a really nice hug, something Grand reserved for his grandchildren, then, as if I hadn’t been surprised enough this morning, he gave Zach a similar hug.

“Good luck,” he said, and patted Zach on the shoulder. Zach walked out and wiped a tear out of his eye.

“I have to not be such a big pussy,” he grumbled, cracking me up.

“Grand doesn’t hug people like that unless he really likes them,” I said. “Or if he’s having sex with them.” He laughed.

“Dude, you think he wants me to fuck him?” he joked.

“Duh,” I said, and handed him the keys.

“You’re letting me drive?”

“You’re smart,” I said. He got in and revved the engine, warming it up, then drove us over to the counselor’s office.

“Brent fucking loves this car,” he said.

“How come he didn’t come over and see you?” That seemed strange to me.

“I didn’t want him to get involved in this thing, and if he came over and hung out with me, he’d want to get involved.”

“He would?” I asked.

Zach nodded. “Yeah. I talked to him and he was pretty pissed about the deal with Peebles.” I didn’t say anything, but he’d given me a really good idea for the future.

We got to the office and walked in. I expected to find his parents in the waiting room, but they weren’t there, which made us even more nervous. We sat there for less than five minutes when a nice looking guy came out. “Colby Jacobs,” he said, introducing himself.

“Will Schluter,” I said.

“There are a few buildings in this town named after your family,” he said, with a smile that was pretty disarming.

“You’re right, and they’re cool buildings,” I said, making him chuckle.

“Your parents are waiting for you,” he said to Zach. “They don’t know Will is here.”

“Well, he is,” Zach said. “Let’s go.”

We walked into a conference room that had a big round table with six chairs arrayed around it. Wally and Clara sat together on one part of the table, and there was a notepad on the table at the place next to Clara, so that was presumably where Jacobs was sitting. I sat next to Jacobs, while Zach sat next to me, with an empty chair in between him and Wally. “I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Wally said to me, almost a snarl.

“Surprise!” I said, in a slightly smarmy way that really pissed him off, but I wasn’t going to put up with any crap from him.

“We were hoping to try and work things out with you,” Clara said to Zach, and even she gave me a nasty look. Clearly they blamed me for these problems, which made sense, since I’d pretty much set myself up to be their antagonist so Zach didn’t have to be directly in their line of fire.

“I think that it’s a good thing that Will is here,” Jacobs said, getting a strange look from everyone, me included. “Zach and I had a very good talk yesterday afternoon.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Clara said. She acted like Jacobs had scolded Zach. It was tough to be patient with those two.

“Mr. Jacobs said you were worried that I was hanging out with Will, and that was going to make me gay,” Zach said to them.

“We told you that we were worried that if you’re hanging out with Will, people will think you’re gay, and we said the same thing to Mr. Jacobs,” Clara corrected.

“He told me that if we’re going to have any kind of relationship,” Zach said, gesturing at Jacobs, “I have to be honest with you. I’m not convinced having a decent relationship is even possible, especially after you pulled that stunt at De La Salle, but I’m willing to take the first step.”

“You haven’t been honest with us?” Wally asked, acting all offended.

“Why does that surprise you?” Zach snapped. “You’ve called me a liar and a thief for most of my life.”

“The deal where you stole Gathan’s bike and wrecked it,” Wally said contemptuously. “That again.”

“I didn’t steal it, I borrowed it,” Zach said. “You called me a liar and a thief, and then Gathan laughed in my face. That’s etched in my memory as just one more example of how you try to tear me down, and make me feel like shit about myself.”

“Zach, I’m glad you’re talking about the things that are bothering you, but I think that before we get into that, you should explain to your parents why Will is here,” Jacobs said.

“Will’s here because we’re together,” Zach said.

“Together?” Clara asked, fearing the worst.

I was watching their reactions, thinking I was a bystander in this whole thing, so I was pretty shocked when Zach grabbed my neck and planted a major liplock on me. It wasn’t a simple kiss, it was a full-on, tongue wrestling, 45-second make out session. He ended the kiss and looked at them defiantly. “Together.”

No one said anything for a minute, because they were too shocked, and I was still a little dazed by that amazing kiss. “I knew you’d do this, that you’d get your hooks in him,” Wally said to me.

“Dude, I didn’t turn him gay. He was born that way,” I said. “Besides, I didn’t seduce him, he seduced me.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Wally demanded. “You came to Claremont like a dog in heat, chasing first after Gathan, and then after Zach.”

And with that, he really pissed me off. “I don’t give a shit what you believe,” I spat at him. “Zach and I first got together at Robbie’s memorial. He came up to my room, and asked if he could sleep with me.”

“Doesn’t look like that was sleeping,” Wally said.

“You want a play by play?” I demanded.

“Will’s right. I came on to him. I wanted him from the moment I met him, but the first time we went out to California, I totally messed it up. I didn’t get a chance to make things good until Robbie’s memorial,” Zach said. That was surprising. I didn’t know he’d had a thing for me back then, back when he’d fucked John. But as soon as I moved beyond that, I realized we were talking about Robbie’s memorial, and that triggered something that hadn’t happened to me in a long time. I had one of my grief attacks, where I just started crying. I sat there, with tears pouring down my face, feeling like an idiot. I started to get up to leave, but Zach held my hand, telling me to stay there and work through it, so I did.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Are you alright?” Jacobs asked.

“Sometimes when I think of Robbie, I get these grief attacks. They don’t happen very often anymore,” I said. He handed me a Kleenex, and I managed to get myself back together.

“This is why I didn’t want you to go to New Jersey, and why I don’t like you living in California,” Wally said.

“You think I’m gay because I moved away from Claremont?” Zach asked. “If that’s true, how do you explain the 24 guys I had sex with when I lived here?” That blew their minds, and kind of surprised me too, even though I’d racked up some big numbers as well.

“I don’t know where we went wrong with this boy,” Wally said to Clara. That was so typical of him, and just so much bullshit.

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” I said. “I think he’s awesome. It’s a damn shame you can’t see that.”

“Ever since he’s been hanging around you, he shows us no respect, and treats us badly,” Wally said. “Just like you treat your father.”

“Oh really? Well in your world, you get respect just by being old, but in my world, you have to earn it, and you haven’t shown me one goddamn reason why I should respect you. Not one!” I was shouting by the time I was done, and I had to force myself to calm down.

“Let’s take a break,” Jacobs said.

“We’ll be back in twenty minutes,” Zach said. We left his office and went down the street to the convenience store, got a big fountain soda, then headed back. “I’m really sorry they treated you like that.”

“Dude, do not even factor me into this. I can take care of myself. You worry about you,” I told him firmly.

“I’ll bet my dad would give his left nut to take a belt to your hide,” he said, and that made both of us laugh pretty hard.

“I’ll bet he would,” I agreed. “And by the way, that was one awesome kiss.”

“You liked that, eh?” Then he leaned over and kissed me again, only that freaked me out, because we were out in the open, where people could easily see us.

“Dude, be careful,” I said. He looked kind of pissed off. “People know you here. I love you, and I don’t want you to throw away your career.”

He nodded and smiled at me. “Thanks.”

We walked back into the conference room with our sodas and found some sandwiches there. Evidently they’d ordered lunch. We took our seats silently, and Jacobs broke the silence by talking about the deli they’d gotten the food from, how wonderful it was, and what our sandwich choices were.

“If you two are together, that could damage your career,” Wally said to Zach. He was still being obnoxious.

“If?” I asked acidly.

Zach moved beyond that. “I know that. So here’s the deal. I’m gay, and I can’t be gay if I’m going to play football. That means that I have to hide who I am from the world. That means we have to keep a distance between us, even when there isn’t one. It means that I have to live a lie.”

“That will be hard to do,” Jacobs said.

“It already is. It’s really tough. But that’s the choice I have to make, and it’s my choice. Period,” he said, scowling at his parents.

“Are you willing to stand by him, even when he can’t openly be your boyfriend?” Clara asked me. It was the first thing either one of them had said to me that wasn’t snarky, but Zach wasn’t in a mood to put up with them interfering in his life.

“That’s none of your business,” he snapped, but I decided to answer her question anyway.

“I think I’ve done that. I’m sitting here, aren’t I?” I asked her. “The rest of my family is in Pennsylvania watching my brother skate at a really important competition, but I’m here.”

“What happens when things get tougher?” she asked me.

“You don’t think things are already tough?” Zach asked her. “I have to lie to damn near everyone. I have to pretend like I want to screw every hot chick in the stadium or I have to pretend to be a religious freak. At the same time, I have to perform on the field and in the classroom. And to spend any time together, we have to drive an hour each way.”

“I can see where that would be hard,” Clara said, showing some sympathy for this young man who used to be her favorite son.

“And worse than that, I have to inflict all of this bullshit onto the man I love, onto Will, and he has to live this bullshit lie with me.”

“I understand that, Zach,” Clara said gently. “That’s why I asked Will the question.”

“I’ll tell you what I told Zach,” I said to her, much more pleasantly than I had before. “I told him that no matter what happened, I’d always at least be his friend. That means I’ll be in his corner, and I’ll fight for him.”

“You’ll do that even when you decide you don’t like each other anymore?” Wally asked. He wasn’t nearly as pleasant as Clara.

“We don’t like each other, we love each other,” Zach snapped.

“What he said,” I chimed in, to back him up.

“What happens when he screws up,” Wally said, gesturing to me, “and lets the whole world know you’re gay? What happens to your career then?”

I was ready to really lay into him over that, but Zach jumped in first. “That’s bullshit. Will actually does a better job of watching out for that than I do. When we got back here, I kissed him, to show him that I love him, and to thank him for putting up with your bullshit.”

“See, that’s just what I’m talking about,” Wally said. “Someone could have seen you, then it gets out, then you’re over.”

“First of all,” Zach said through clenched teeth, “Will’s the one who stopped me, and reminded me to be careful. That was my point. And second, I won’t be ‘over’. It just means I won’t be able to play football.”

“But that’s your dream,” Clara said.

“Is it? Or is it your dream?” Zach asked her, and then focused on his father. “To succeed where you failed so miserably.”

“You have planned to play football ever since you were a little boy,” Clara said to Zach, ignoring his conflict with Wally. “If you don’t do that, what will you do?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll do something,” he said.

“What?” Wally demanded.

“Zach can do pretty much anything he wants,” I said. “He’s smart, he’s motivated, and he’s good at dealing with other people. He’s got a trust fund that will pay for him to go to school anywhere in the world, for damn near as long as he wants. Even without football, he’s got the world by the balls.”

“What would a 16-year-old kid know about that?” Wally asked, zeroing in on me.

“I’ve been raised by one of the smartest men in the world, and by one of the richest men in the world, and by a guy who is a neat combination of both of those things. I’ve been around all kinds of successful people. I know,” I said as I glared at him. And the unspoken challenge was that being a sanitation engineer didn’t give him a lock on knowing what it took to be a success in life.

“So on top of all of the crap I have to deal with, I also have to deal with you two trying to sabotage me,” Zach said. “It’s like you’re determined to make things even harder on me. That’s why I want you out of my life.”

“You want us out of your life?” Wally asked, all pissed off. “Some gratitude that is.”

“Gratitude for what? For feeding me and giving me a place to live? Thanks. For getting me involved in football? Thanks. But all of that was offset by all of your bullshit. I spent most of the time trying to get over not feeling like shit after you cut me down. So thanks for what you did for me, but after I charge off the other shit, it’s not such a big debt.”

“Zach, we always tried to support and encourage you,” Clara said.

“You did, Mom, he didn’t,” he said, gesturing at Wally. “You know, you guys are sitting here, giving me and Will a bunch of shit about how me paying attention to him is going to ruin my football career. You’re fucking hypocrites.”

“We are not,” Wally said loudly.

“No? Didn’t you send a fax to the school, telling them I couldn’t play football?” They said nothing. “So it was OK for you to try and screw up my career so I’d pay attention to you, but it’s wrong for me to do that to be with the man I love?”

“If we’re such shitty parents, why are your siblings doing so well?” Wally asked. I wasn’t convinced they were all doing so well, but I opted not to raise that point.

“Maybe because you didn’t rip them up every chance you had,” Zach said to him. “I didn’t come here just to argue with you. You can sit there and think you’re right, but it’s not going to make a damn bit of difference.”

“Then why are we wasting our time?” Wally asked.

“Because you made me do it when you sent that fax,” Zach snapped.

“While this is painful and unpleasant,” Jacobs said, “it’s important for you to communicate.” No one said anything for a minute.

“You know, not a day goes by where I don’t think about quitting football,” Zach said to them, only this time, it was in a very sincere way. “Every day, I have to run the math, and decide if being a great football player is worth living a lie, and forcing the guy I love to live that lie with me. Every fucking day. So when you pile this crap on me, when you bitch at me, when you fuck things up, it comes real close to tilting the scales.”

“What do you want me to do?” Wally asked, only instead of being bitchy, he was exasperated. “You want me to just write you off, tell you that I’m happy you found a nice boyfriend?”

“Thank you,” I said, to throw some levity into the situation. It only worked for Zach.

“That’s what I want,” Zach said.

“Fine,” Wally said, almost pouting.

“Only that’s not what either one of you wants,” I said.

“How would you know what I want?” Wally demanded, almost yelling at me.

I looked at Zach. “You want him to encourage you, to love you, and to be proud of you.” Then I looked at Wally. “And you want Zach to treat you with respect, and you want him to experience the successes you couldn’t experience. When he wins the MVP award in a Super Bowl, you want him to tell the press that he owes it all to you.”

“That’s not what I want,” Wally lied. He seemed to miss the fact that Zach didn’t argue with me about that statement.

“This is going to take more than one meeting to work through,” Jacobs said. Usually when guys like him said that, I thought they were just trying to drum up more business, but with this dysfunctional family, he was right. “When can we meet again?”

“It’s tough for me to do that, because I have school during the week and football on the weekends,” Zach said. “And it’s not easy to get to Claremont. I could do that this time since I hitched a ride with Dr. Crampton.” I thought it was pretty clever, how he tossed Grand’s name into the mix to remind these people that he wasn’t out there on his own.

“This is just another reason why it would be better for you to be back in Claremont after the football season is over,” Wally said.

“That is not happening,” he said. Wally gave him a challenging look. “If I have to, I can vanish until I’m 18. No way am I coming back here,” he said defiantly.

“What would you live on?” Wally challenged, but that was directed at me. He was daring me to defy him on that.

“He doesn’t have to worry about that. I’ve got his back,” I said firmly.

“That just means he’s completely dependent on you,” Clara countered, but not in a bitchy way.

Zach shook his head in frustration. “Thanks Will. I appreciate that.” Then he turned to his parents. “That makes things easier, but I can support myself if I have to.”

“How?” Wally demanded.

Zach rolled his eyes. “I only worked over the summers when I lived here, and even then I couldn’t work that long. How much money did you give me?” They stared at him blankly. “Didn’t you ever wonder how I had nice clothes, new Nikes, and cash in my wallet?”

“You weren’t dealing drugs?!” Clara asked, horrified.

“Nope,” he said, giving her his cocky look.

“How did you make money, Zach?” Jacobs asked.

“The 24 dudes I was with; that’s what ten of them were for,” he said, smiling in a smarmy way.

“You were a whore?” Wally asked, completely outraged.

“I’ll do what I need to do to survive,” he said.

“Well, Will’s supporting you, so it’s pretty much like that now,” Wally said.

“That’s bullshit,” I said, much too loudly. “What we have isn’t some nasty encounter, or some ongoing sex trade, even though the sex is really really good.” That really bugged them.

“So go ahead. Do your worst. I’ll survive just fine. I’m used to being on my own,” Zach challenged.

“Maybe we can meet over the Thanksgiving weekend,” Jacobs said. “When are you coming back?”

“I’m not coming here for Thanksgiving,” Zach said. “Are you kidding me?” That really upset Clara, but Zach was too frustrated with them to give a shit.

“We can probably work it out so you can get out here for at least a day over that weekend,” I volunteered. They all gave me dirty looks for that, but I knew that beyond the anger, this was an open wound for all of them. If it would help to heal that, then it would help Zach.

“When?” Jacobs asked.

“The Wednesday before Thanksgiving,” I suggested. It would mean taking an extra day off school, but it was worth it.

“I can do that,” Zach said.

“We’ll make time too,” Clara said.

“In the meantime, I’d like to meet with you two,” Jacobs said to Wally and Clara. “And I’d like to talk to you on the phone,” he said to Zach.

“I can do that too,” Zach said. He looked at his watch. “We gotta go.” Then he got up and walked out of the room.

“It was nice to meet you,” I said to Jacobs and shook his hand, and then I followed Zach out the door.

“That was bullshit,” Zach said. I drove home, since I was way calmer than he was.

“It was a start,” I said.

“Seriously?” he challenged.

“Seriously.”