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    Mikiesboy
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Timmy's Journal - 22. A Few Words and As I Am

This is for a couple of special people, who should see themselves in this poem.

Well the past week hasn't been the best. A week ago I had a mini mental break, where I couldn't control my thoughts, they ran riot over me. I ended up posting something that worried some of you and I apologize sincerely for that. But when you are in that place, the low place that depression is, with it's high walls and thick fog, you can do stupid things.

It happened again a couple of nights ago. I'd seen my doctor two days before. So after the second break, I told him I wanted to go back on meds for a short time to help me sort of even myself out. It seems to be working and well there's things I need to do and be willing to work on... Just an update for those of you who asked and PM'd me ... I wrote this a little bit ago but instead of being the rash guy I usually am, decided to work on it a little before posting it. Hope it works..

 

 

As I Am

When I am weary, tired and spent
you sooth my aching soul

The one to whom I always turn
your strength protects me

The storms in my mind are wicked and cold
and though I fight, sometimes they win

You wait to pick up the pieces,
fitting me back together. Not whole

– I’m battered and chipped
yet you love me as I am.

Thanks for your patience with my mistakes and errors in judgement, for your love and friendship.
tim
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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When demons rage, you need that one person who would do anything for you... someone who is there through the thick and the thin, no matter what. You have that in your Michael... and you have friends who love you, chips and all... it is a wonderful poem... an expression of what you know you have, even when the clouds roll in and do their best to confuse you and convince you otherwise. This is such a perfect counterpoint to what you wrote when the serpent sunk his fangs in you... you always have that shining light that lives for you, even when you can't quite see it... thanks for this evidence of your fighting spirit... cheers, my friend... Gary....

On 12/26/2015 03:50 PM, Headstall said:

When demons rage, you need that one person who would do anything for you... someone who is there through the thick and the thin, no matter what. You have that in your Michael... and you have friends who love you, chips and all... it is a wonderful poem... an expression of what you know you have, even when the clouds roll in and do their best to confuse you and convince you otherwise. This is such a perfect counterpoint to what you wrote when the serpent sunk his fangs in you... you always have that shining light that lives for you, even when you can't quite see it... thanks for this evidence of your fighting spirit... cheers, my friend... Gary....

Gary, thank you. I can't seem to stop fighting.. even when I'm exhausted and low. I appreciate your support, even though I make it hard for you sometimes.

 

tim

I had to wait to review this ... it caught me unprepared ... struggling with dark clouds and storms of my own. I questioned why you always sign yourself as "tim" never using a cap T. It seemed by using the diminutive you were lessening yourself and I didn't like it ... far too many others had devalued you for me to accept you doing it too. I now understand that you do it to differeniate the current you from who you had to be in order to survive. My preference would be seeing you signoff as "TIM" ... that reflects the inner strength that demanded you survive, but it isn't for me too choose. Granted this is slightly off point to the poem but is me speaking to you ... attempting poorly to express my deeply felt respect and love.
I am glad that you have Michael to anchor you when the maelstrom rages about you ... you do not battle alone ...
Namaste little brother

On 12/26/2015 10:36 PM, dughlas said:

I had to wait to review this ... it caught me unprepared ... struggling with dark clouds and storms of my own. I questioned why you always sign yourself as "tim" never using a cap T. It seemed by using the diminutive you were lessening yourself and I didn't like it ... far too many others had devalued you for me to accept you doing it too. I now understand that you do it to differeniate the current you from who you had to be in order to survive. My preference would be seeing you signoff as "TIM" ... that reflects the inner strength that demanded you survive, but it isn't for me too choose. Granted this is slightly off point to the poem but is me speaking to you ... attempting poorly to express my deeply felt respect and love.

I am glad that you have Michael to anchor you when the maelstrom rages about you ... you do not battle alone ...

Namaste little brother

Aw dugh you're a sweet and wonderful man. TIM is much too out there, too brash for me. Tim is normal, I am not. tim is where I'm comfortable, safe and happy. You seem to be happy in lowercase yourself! Hugs dugh and thank you.

 

tim

  • Site Moderator

Hey tim
We are all battered and chipped in one way or another...that is what makes us unique and real. The good thing about being battered and chipped is that when we fall and put ourselves back together...hopefully, with a little help...no one can tell if a piece is missing or in the wrong place.
I am glad that you recognize your value in Michael's eyes...because valuable is what you are. As for the rest of us, we don't need you to be perfect, we like you just the way you are. The road you travel has it's twists and turns, but the bumps have lessened in the short time I have known you...that I guarantee. :hug: :hug:
As Always, nicely done. :)

On 12/27/2015 05:14 AM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

We are all battered and chipped in one way or another...that is what makes us unique and real. The good thing about being battered and chipped is that when we fall and put ourselves back together...hopefully, with a little help...no one can tell if a piece is missing or in the wrong place.

I am glad that you recognize your value in Michael's eyes...because valuable is what you are. As for the rest of us, we don't need you to be perfect, we like you just the way you are. The road you travel has it's twists and turns, but the bumps have lessened in the short time I have known you...that I guarantee. :hug: :hug:

As Always, nicely done. :)

Thanks Reader. Somedays I feel like I'm leaving a trail of broken bits behind me ... but Michael always collects them up and sticks em back on... i'm more or less in one piece!

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