Timmy's Journal - 31. Untitled Poem

Good job on Parker's prompt... some interesting phrasing and rhyming... we don't know the whys, and we don't have to, but you tell a tale of love gone wrong... it has an old world quality because of some of the word choice, and I liked that... cheers... Gary...

Lovely lyrics! Like the opening line itself, your poem rides a cresting wave, and the up and down begs most beautifully for music to accompany it.

Bravo!

I really enjoyed this. Sometimes love doesn't go, even if the relationship goes south. Like Gary said, we don't know the whys, but they're not important for this. Great job, tim.

You know I liked this - had me going in two different directions emotionally. Ecstatic, elated, hurt, sad, angry...all it took was four stanzas. Really showed off your talents, here Tim! Loved the image of ...turned up my cowl...reminded me of trying vainly to shut out the storms of life and love.

Such a different journey from the same line!

Yours tells the story from rushing start to disconsolate finish, while Parker expresses a state of mind.

Lovely tim!

Sad I was, but its Love.
We desire and dive,
but some times we cripple
and would fall.
The hurt make us wail and cry.

This is what your poem did to me. Just woken up my desire to write this. Very beautiful poem Tim. You have done great job on it...

~Emi.

So deep and touching like everything you write my friend! Thanks for such a wonderful poem and thanks for keeping in touch.

On 03/21/2016 08:07 AM, Headstall said:

Good job on Parker's prompt... some interesting phrasing and rhyming... we don't know the whys, and we don't have to, but you tell a tale of love gone wrong... it has an old world quality because of some of the word choice, and I liked that... cheers... Gary...

Thanks Gary. It was fun and the differences in what we both wrote was interesting..

Thanks again for your support.

tim

On 03/21/2016 08:30 AM, AC Benus said:

Lovely lyrics! Like the opening line itself, your poem rides a cresting wave, and the up and down begs most beautifully for music to accompany it.

 

Bravo!

Thanks AC. This was a fun little thing to do. Thank you for the lovely review.. I appreciate it.

tim xo

On 03/21/2016 09:14 AM, LitLover said:

I really enjoyed this. Sometimes love doesn't go, even if the relationship goes south. Like Gary said, we don't know the whys, but they're not important for this. Great job, tim.

Oh I'm always happy when you read poetry! Thank so much for your comments and support.. Means a lot .. tim xo

On 03/21/2016 10:54 AM, Parker Owens said:

You know I liked this - had me going in two different directions emotionally. Ecstatic, elated, hurt, sad, angry...all it took was four stanzas. Really showed off your talents, here Tim! Loved the image of ...turned up my cowl...reminded me of trying vainly to shut out the storms of life and love.

Yes I know Parker. Thanks my friend for your comments. I really wasnt going to bother writing this, cuz I've been busy but I cant say no too well.. so.. it was fun and interesting how diff our two poems turned out!!

tim xo

On 03/21/2016 01:49 PM, skinnydragon said:

Such a different journey from the same line!

 

Yours tells the story from rushing start to disconsolate finish, while Parker expresses a state of mind.

 

Lovely tim!

IKR?? Pretty interesting - the differences... Thanks for reading skinny!!

tim

On 03/21/2016 05:07 PM, Emi GS said:

Sad I was, but its Love.

We desire and dive,

but some times we cripple

and would fall.

The hurt make us wail and cry.

 

This is what your poem did to me. Just woken up my desire to write this. Very beautiful poem Tim. You have done great job on it...

 

~Emi.

Love your poetic comment!! Brilliant Emi. Thank you so much for reading this.. it means a lot to me.

tim xo

On 03/22/2016 12:37 AM, Roberto Zuniga said:

So deep and touching like everything you write my friend! Thanks for such a wonderful poem and thanks for keeping in touch.

Good to see you around again, but I know you've been busy. Thanks for reading this.. and for your kind comments. Means a lot Roberto...

tim xox

So sad... It read like an old letter discovered under the floor boards... I expected to see an old faded photo to go with it.
Nicely done

On 03/23/2016 05:19 AM, Bucket1 said:

So sad... It read like an old letter discovered under the floor boards... I expected to see an old faded photo to go with it.

Nicely done

Oh that is such a cool way to put it. Thanks for your thoughts on this B! It's so interesting to see what people think when they read something.

tim xo

On 03/25/2016 11:34 AM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

Loneliness, happiness, anger, sadness, hurt and anguish...this poem runs the gamut of emotions. Wow...

As always, nicely done.

Hi Reader .. thanks so much. This was fun, a rather interesting challenge. What Parker and i came up with from the same opening line is pretty cool. Thanks for reading it!!

tim