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    Mikiesboy
  • Mikiesboy
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  • 02/26/2016
  • 429 Words
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  • 16 Comments
The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Timmy's Journal - 30. The Peddler's Memoriam (Rubaiyat)

Inspiration for this comes from The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson.

I wanted to write a longer Rubaiyat because I think this is a longer poem traditionally. But I was having issues with inspiration, so I thought about classic stories and fairy tales and thought of the Little Match Girl. Here is a rubaiyat inspired by that classic story.

 

A Peddler’s Memoriam

 

Tis the final night of the good, past year

The crowds are happy, and enjoy their cheer

In my too large shoes, I walk on unseen

Darkness falls quickly but the way is clear

 

Papa had set me on my path to glean

Money from the wealthy folk he is keen

It’s my duty to sell my meager wares

I try, but am awestruck by the scene

 

Houses glow brightly, while candles flare

The smell of roasting meat is in the air

Can they not hear my empty belly sing?

The people laugh and dance without a care

 

The gaily-painted women walk and swing

Men watch, follow and pay them for a fling

None of them will buy my goods this cold night

I dread the angry words failure will bring

 

Papa will rage, he and Mama will fight

Our house will be cold, there will be no light

We kids are quiet for our own sakes

Until yelling stops and things are all right

 

I shelter 'tween houses, I've got the shakes

Deep is the chill and my poor body aches

Carriages carrying sweet lovers abound

I need to sell, no matter what it takes

 

Snow is heavy and it covers the ground

Suddenly there are specters all around

But I know it’s the cold causing these sights

I wish for a fire to keep them earthbound

 

Years before now, a girl suffered this plight

She did not escape, but froze that sad night

And she died where she'd huddled from the cold

The poor little match girl covered in white

 

Alone with no shoes, her burnt matches told

A story of fear and of sadness bold

No one did miss her or for her did mourn

Nor that night were any bells for her tolled

 

So onward in shoes that are over-worn

I sell all through the night until the morn,

Now my pockets are full and I do twirl

Maybe Papa will be glad I was born.

 

I look out and see pretty snowflakes swirl

Papa smiles, Mama has put in a curl

Tis the first day of New Years, so we feast

I, in mem'ry of the little match girl.

Thanks AC.. seriously, what would we/I do without your expertise and generosity.
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Chapter Comments

Parker Owens

I remember the story that inspired you here. Your poem is far more expressive and compelling than the original. I feel the hunger and cold, sense the despair and loneliness you write into the verse. Your images and use of language draw me into a Dickensian brutality that makes the heart weep. So very well done, Tim.

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Mikiesboy
On 02/27/2016 05:28 AM, Parker Owens said:

I remember the story that inspired you here. Your poem is far more expressive and compelling than the original. I feel the hunger and cold, sense the despair and loneliness you write into the verse. Your images and use of language draw me into a Dickensian brutality that makes the heart weep. So very well done, Tim.

Oh thank you Parker. I had it done for a good few days, but I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working.. AC helped me with that - an issue with tenses. I'm glad it worked once I fixed that. Thank you for reading and your comments!!

 

tim xo

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Headstall

Vivid and superb... a progression of images and emotions... I loved it, tim... you made me feel the fragility of life for some children in a different time... well done... Gary...

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Reader1810
  • Site Moderator

Hey tim
The imagery of your words makes this poem come alive in my mind's eye. I can see it all...the details so vivid.
This is a sad tale for the one who was lost but I love "listening" to the little girl with the indomitable spirit. In face of daunting odds, she keeps going and never gives up. Her reward at the end seems small but it is, in fact, beyond measure, isn't it?
As always, nicely done.

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Mikiesboy
On 02/27/2016 11:59 AM, Headstall said:

Vivid and superb... a progression of images and emotions... I loved it, tim... you made me feel the fragility of life for some children in a different time... well done... Gary...

Thank you Gary. The Little Match Girl is such as sad story, but not much different to what happens to too many of our children today.

 

Thank you for your insight and support. Means a great deal to me.

 

tim xo

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Mikiesboy
On 02/27/2016 01:16 PM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

The imagery of your words makes this poem come alive in my mind's eye. I can see it all...the details so vivid.

This is a sad tale for the one who was lost but I love "listening" to the little girl with the indomitable spirit. In face of daunting odds, she keeps going and never gives up. Her reward at the end seems small but it is, in fact, beyond measure, isn't it?

As always, nicely done.

Hi Reader, See it's true, poetry means something different to each person. I read your comments and was surprised you thought it was from the female perspective. I never write from that, but honestly this could certainly have been. Thank you so much for your take on this poem. Wonderful... your thoughts, comments and support mean the world to me.

 

tim

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skinnydragon

Touching and strong.

 

I hardly ever review poetry cuz I'm so dense, but this tugged at my (whatever I have).

 

It's color was grey-asparagus.

 

Thanks tim

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Mikiesboy
On 02/27/2016 04:19 PM, skinnydragon said:

Touching and strong.

 

I hardly ever review poetry cuz I'm so dense, but this tugged at my (whatever I have).

 

It's color was grey-asparagus.

 

Thanks tim

Thank you sd. However you're hardly dense. With poetry, you have to remember that as you read it, it is yours. What I felt or meant, doesnt have to be what you feel or think. It's like looking at a painting, it matters only what YOU feel at the time your read it.

 

Thanks for reading this... I appreciate it.

 

tim

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AC Benus

This is beautifully well done. When I introduced the Rubaiyat Poetry Prompt, I hoped the form's potential would 'seep into the bones' of folks, and here it seems it has. Your rhymes flow wonderfully, and there's a natural way the interlocking of the stanzas happen. That's very good construction…

 

The content of the poem is so perfect for this form. You tell a story, and pull at the heartstrings too.

 

Bravo!

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Mikiesboy
On 02/28/2016 02:39 AM, dughlas said:

WOW simply wow, you've done yourself proud.

Thank you dugh. This form kinda spoke to me and while when i first saw the prompt i wanted to run away screaming ... after i let myself read and understand it, i find it calls to me...works for me.Thank you again. I appreciate your support of me, dugh. It means a lot... tim

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Mikiesboy
On 02/29/2016 04:19 AM, AC Benus said:

This is beautifully well done. When I introduced the Rubaiyat Poetry Prompt, I hoped the form's potential would 'seep into the bones' of folks, and here it seems it has. Your rhymes flow wonderfully, and there's a natural way the interlocking of the stanzas happen. That's very good construction…

 

The content of the poem is so perfect for this form. You tell a story, and pull at the heartstrings too.

 

Bravo!

This form is wonderful AC. I gives me what i want and lets me say what i want to, and it is a challenge to find the words, rhymes and the meter. Your Prompts are all a challenge and i continue to learn. Thanks again for offering them to us and for all the support you give to your 'mad' poets!!

 

tim

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Defiance19

tim, this was really really good. Emotive and vivid. Probably even more haunting than the story which inspired it.

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Mikiesboy
On 02/29/2016 11:40 AM, Defiance19 said:

tim, this was really really good. Emotive and vivid. Probably even more haunting than the story which inspired it.

Thank you Def. I'm glad this worked for you. I like this form and i hope i did justice to the classic story.

 

 

Thanks again,

 

tim

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Emi GS

I know the story which inspired you to wrote this amazing poem. Your Rubaiyat is so perfect in the way you moulded. The word and stanza formation is so nice. And the images and emotions you have build here are way more natural.

 

There are lives that we won't observe but see in regular basis. And you have shown it in your Rubaiyat... :)

 

~Emi.

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Mikiesboy
On 02/29/2016 10:42 PM, Emi GS said:

I know the story which inspired you to wrote this amazing poem. Your Rubaiyat is so perfect in the way you moulded. The word and stanza formation is so nice. And the images and emotions you have build here are way more natural.

 

There are lives that we won't observe but see in regular basis. And you have shown it in your Rubaiyat... :)

 

~Emi.

Emi, sorry this is late. Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked this. I really appreciate your comments and the fact you took the time to read it.

 

tim xo

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