Jump to content
  • Join Gay Authors

    Join us for free and follow your favorite authors and stories.

    Mikiesboy
  • Author
  • 281 Words
  • 2,303 Views
  • 35 Comments
The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Timmy's Journal - 24. Poetry Prompt 17 - And To Sleep, My Son and Don't Wanna

For Poetry Prompt 17 - Childhood Verse

Oh boy, well here they from a Dad's POV and a kids. I thought I'd have problems writing these, I truly did, but they came to me in a flash. And maybe I'm being rash but they will not leave me alone, so good or bad, here are my responses to Prompt !7, Childhood Verse.

 

And To Sleep, My Son

Oh my little boy with your cheeks of cherry red
I’m tired, don’t you know, please lay down your head
You need to have your rest, and your papa does so too
Miles you’ve run today, and I was chasing you

Let the sandman do his job and sleep my perfect son
We fought monsters and knights, and we always won
But the battles are all over and it’s time to go to sleep
I’ll kiss you once again, but from you – not a peep

You’ll dream of fantastic places and you’ll be a king
In the morning you’ll awaken when the birds begin to sing
Sleep my little angel and I’ll smooch away that frown
Float off to dreamland now, on clouds of eiderdown.

 

Don’t Wanna

Bedtime comes too early
I’m not tired, no not yet
The kingdom isn’t finished
What is it you don’t get?

I don’t wanna go to bed
When the day is still bright
The birds are still singing
Can’t you see it’s not night?

Let’s go and play some baseball
And run around some more
There’s hopscotch and xbox
Can we go to the store?

I don’t wanna go to bed
Of course you get your way
I’m only just the kid
Maybe you should go out to play!

I thought I'd have a lot of trouble with this, but it seems not so much ...
Thanks to AC as always for his support and to all those who choose to read my poetry, the good, bad and ugly. Thank you all.
tim
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 20
  • Love 4
The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments



Loved them both! The last two lines of "Don't Wanna" sum it up beautifully... that stubborn streak... the indignant attitude... and I really felt the father's weary exasperation... well done... cheers... Gary....

Link to comment

The kind of relationship every father should have with his son. Too bad it goes down the drain when the said son doesn't fulfill his father's expectations. I :heart: it!!! Hopefully one day I'll be reciting to my son.

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 08:28 AM, bignick said:

The kind of relationship every father should have with his son. Too bad it goes down the drain when the said son doesn't fulfill his father's expectations. I :heart: it!!! Hopefully one day I'll be reciting to my son.

Thanks buddy. Father's shouldn't have those kinds of expectations. Father's shouldn't expect their kids to 'fulfill' them, they need to do it for themselves. Kids are human beings, you shouldn't live through them. I hope you can recite it to your son one day too! Thanks for your support, Nick and your friendship.. both are appreciated!

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 08:25 AM, Headstall said:

Loved them both! The last two lines of "Don't Wanna" sum it up beautifully... that stubborn streak... the indignant attitude... and I really felt the father's weary exasperation... well done... cheers... Gary....

Well, I'm not a dad Gary, so if these worked for a dad of four, I'm happy. Thanks very much for reading them and for your comments.

 

tim

Link to comment

Both these bring back memories. Sleepless nights, and actually an argument just fifteen minutes ago about going to bed. :gikkle:

 

Very well done Timmie you captured it all wonderfully. :)

 

:hug:

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 09:00 AM, Caz Pedroso said:

Both these bring back memories. Sleepless nights, and actually an argument just fifteen minutes ago about going to bed. :gikkle:

 

Very well done Timmie you captured it all wonderfully. :)

 

:hug:

Thanks Cazzie, Glad they worked for you. Oh dear ... well I hope you won that round!!

 

timmie xo

Link to comment

What a great pair tim!

 

They each whine to make their point, but daddy always wins!

 

Like Gary, I thought the boy's last line was genius!
You're very talented - and this was fun!

Link to comment
  • Site Moderator

Hey tim

 

The poems are great and evoke a wonderful, feel good vibe. The POVs of the dad and the little boy were terrific and believable to the point I felt as I was the proverbial 'fly on the wall' witnessing their interaction first hand.
As always, nicely done. :)

Link to comment

So very beautiful Tim. I've wanted to be a father for so long and your poems made me shed a couple of tears.

 

Beautifully accomplished!

Link to comment

You capture both the parent and the child so well. The unrelenting playfulness of the child versus the hopeful parent, wanting only the best for the sleepy child. Very nice.

Link to comment

I close my eyes and hear the voices of my son and I when he was a child. Both coaxing, pleading a desired response from the other ...
Thank you for drawing out the memory.

Link to comment

Amazing. Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! (so soon!)

 

There's a lot to admire here, and not to embarrass you or anything, but the first thing that grabs my attention is how smooth and flawless your metre is. I know you had a rough time with the Meter Prompt, but in the 'Sleep, My Son' poem, you've come out on the other side of your struggles with a natural sense of poetic rhythm. I think metre is now just something you have at your disposal when it's called for by a poem. I'm so please about that.

 

Also, I admire how the 'Daddy' verses uses big words and concepts to communicate to the boy, while the kid's reply involves more concrete 'let's run around' terms and images.

 

Very, very well done!

  • Love 1
Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 09:05 AM, skinnydragon said:

What a great pair tim!

 

They each whine to make their point, but daddy always wins!

 

Like Gary, I thought the boy's last line was genius!

You're very talented - and this was fun!

Hi skinnyd! Thanks my friend. Glad you liked these. They were fun to write. I'm glad they worked for you. Thank you for reading and for your comments.

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 09:17 AM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

 

The poems are great and evoke a wonderful, feel good vibe. The POVs of the dad and the little boy were terrific and believable to the point I felt as I was the proverbial 'fly on the wall' witnessing their interaction first hand.

As always, nicely done. :)

Thanks Reader! I'm glad these worked for you. Thanks so much for all of your support Reader. I appreciate it.

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 09:55 AM, Roberto Zuniga said:

So very beautiful Tim. I've wanted to be a father for so long and your poems made me shed a couple of tears.

 

Beautifully accomplished!

Oh Roberto.. thank you so much. Well hope you get to become a father if that's what you want. We dont want kids ourself but we borrow them often from Michael's brothers... Thanks for reading and for your comments.

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 10:07 AM, Puppilull said:

You capture both the parent and the child so well. The unrelenting playfulness of the child versus the hopeful parent, wanting only the best for the sleepy child. Very nice.

Hi Puppilull, thank you for reading and for your comments. I pleased to know this worked.

 

Thanks again, Puppilull,

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 10:19 AM, dughlas said:

I close my eyes and hear the voices of my son and I when he was a child. Both coaxing, pleading a desired response from the other ...

Thank you for drawing out the memory.

Hi dugh, that's a lovely memory. I'm glad these poems helped bring it back to you. Thank you for reading and your support, dugh. It means a lot to me.

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 10:32 AM, AC Benus said:

Amazing. Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! (so soon!)

 

There's a lot to admire here, and not to embarrass you or anything, but the first thing that grabs my attention is how smooth and flawless your metre is. I know you had a rough time with the Meter Prompt, but in the 'Sleep, My Son' poem, you've come out on the other side of your struggles with a natural sense of poetic rhythm. I think metre is now just something you have at your disposal when it's called for by a poem. I'm so please about that.

 

Also, I admire how the 'Daddy' verses uses big words and concepts to communicate to the boy, while the kid's reply involves more concrete 'let's run around' terms and images.

 

Very, very well done!

Hi AC. Lol, well I hadn't planned to do the Prompt so quickly, but there was little choice. I think the struggle with metre taught me a lot. I appreciate all of your help with all my writing, AC. I'm glad both of these poems fulfilled the prompt.

 

Thanks again, AC.

 

tim

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Oh, the stubborn child. I have two sons, the youngest is 17 and my oldest is 30, so I've dealt with two generations of stubborn children. I must admit, it has been years since I've stepped on Lego blocks or played with Dragon Ball Z action figures. "Don't Wanna" reminds me of the days when Green Eggs and Ham was a nightly read, The Wheels on The Bus was the jam, and Capri Sun juice pouches were the favorite beverage.
My youngest has turned me on to Call of Duty Black Ops, Halo novels, and the band Animals As Leaders. Go figure...my child has grown up and I've reverted back to childhood. :lmao:
Both poems are very realistic. Nicely done, Tim.

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 01:32 PM, R J Drew said:

Oh, the stubborn child. I have two sons, the youngest is 17 and my oldest is 30, so I've dealt with two generations of stubborn children. I must admit, it has been years since I've stepped on Lego blocks or played with Dragon Ball Z action figures. "Don't Wanna" reminds me of the days when Green Eggs and Ham was a nightly read, The Wheels on The Bus was the jam, and Capri Sun juice pouches were the favorite beverage.

My youngest has turned me on to Call of Duty Black Ops, Halo novels, and the band Animals As Leaders. Go figure...my child has grown up and I've reverted back to childhood. :lmao:

Both poems are very realistic. Nicely done, Tim.

Call of Duty.. oh cool you're a gamer. I played Halo and ALL of Skyrim (everything) love that game! I'm glad you like the poems, RJ and why shouldn't revert... being an adult all the time is no fun!! Play.. enjoy.

 

tim

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 01:37 PM, Bucket1 said:

Wonderful counterpoint between the two, I can see it playing out in front of me. Good job.

Hey B!! Thank you for reading and for your comments.. Glad you liked them... I appreciate your support.

 

tim

Link to comment

As a dad, as a lover of your poetry, as a teacher, I have to say these two poems resonated deeply for me. I remember the emotions and the weariness of a long day with energetic kids. I remember being a kid myself, and I empathize with the day-is-hardly-over sentiment. I want to dance with the child, and sleep with the parent. How wonderful. Thanks to you I can feel both.

Link to comment
On 01/03/2016 03:06 PM, Parker Owens said:

As a dad, as a lover of your poetry, as a teacher, I have to say these two poems resonated deeply for me. I remember the emotions and the weariness of a long day with energetic kids. I remember being a kid myself, and I empathize with the day-is-hardly-over sentiment. I want to dance with the child, and sleep with the parent. How wonderful. Thanks to you I can feel both.

Hey Parker, Thanks for reading these two. I'm glad they worked for you. Having never really been or looked after kids.. I could only think back to my mum and what she did. Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your support.

 

tim

Link to comment

You. Nailed. It.!! Both poems speak perfectly to those parent/child moments. The pleading back and forth, that little tug of war to see how far they can go. It brought back memories and I still sort of go through that with little ones. I really loved them Tim.
So great!

Link to comment

View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...