Morningstar: The Malaise - 15. Chapter 15 Nothing's Written In Stone

Morningstar: The Malaise

Chapter 15

When they pulled into Tobyn’s driveway, the kids were already there. Six of them sprawled or sat on the small patch of lush green grass that managed to thrive in spite of almost constant shade. A quick flicker proved quite interesting to Kellar, and gave credence to some of his speculations.

There was no burnt umber present in any of them, which further proved his theory it came after the first shift. Dane’s tonsils were a little worse than earlier, but the rest of the youngsters showed nothing to indicate illness. He would wish for more vigorous colors though, but since these were his first glimpses at a bunch of shifter kids, he couldn’t rule out their age played some part.

“Come on. Let’s introduce you to the little monsters.” It was easy to sense how Tobyn felt about these young ones. A mixed wave of pride and concern filled the truck, replacing the previous turmoil he’d read from the man. The same turmoil Kellar was struggling to navigate. It had been a quiet drive from the marina, but if his friend could let it go, so could he. No doubt about it. Tobyn would be a great dad.

The small group stood up, a couple of them shyly fidgeting as Kellar approached just ahead of Tobyn. Kids never made him nervous the way adults did. “Hey, guys and girls. I’m Kellar.”

There was a lot of mumbling before one of the guys commented on how big he was. He grinned and said he ate a lot of spinach as a child, and that effectively broke the ice as a couple of them groaned while others giggled.

Tobyn ran through the group for him, one by one. There were best friends Mace and Dane, the two oldest at almost fifteen. Next was Rafe, at twelve. Rina, a shy little girl, was eleven, and her friend Marilyn, despite being a head taller, was only ten. The youngest was a boy who couldn’t stop moving, and his name was Bertram. He was eight… ‘and a half,’ the energetic lad added, and Kellar took to him right away. Actually, he liked them all. They were a polite, and obviously tight-knit family of friends, and amusing now that they’d relaxed. No children for almost nine years? He couldn’t let himself think about that right now.

“Okay, so you all know I’m really big… and that I’m also a healer.” More giggles as they smiled and nodded. “Just so you have an idea of how I work, I'll tell you about my special power. I can’t fly,” he said with a grin, “but it’s possible for me to tell if there’s something going on in your bodies that shouldn’t be, by checking the colors of your auras. I know that might sound hard to believe, but when I shifted the first time, I could see colors in all living things. It’s sort of like a signature written with a huge box of crayons….” He waited as more groans were expelled amidst now familiar giggles, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. “… and when there’s a crayon color that doesn’t belong, it stands out to me. Dane is the only one that has a gross cootie color.” More giggles, and Kellar was relieved shifter kids understood what cooties were. “There’s a shade of purple, kind of like a grape popsicle, and it tells me his tonsils are inflamed. When I use a plant with the same color in its signature to help me, I have the ability to get rid of it. Does that make sense?”

They all said yes, nodding to him and each other as if it was the most normal thing in the world. A couple of them teased Dane about his apparent addiction to the home-made grape ice-pops always available at the lodge.

“All right then. So, all of you can go except for Dane.” Seeing the best friend’s reaction, he smiled, and included him. “And Mace, it’ll only take about five minutes, if you want to come inside with us?” Kellar wasn’t surprised the best friends stuck together like glue. They were the same way at the soccer field earlier. It was a special thing to watch, and he couldn’t help but wish he’d met Tobyn when they were that age.

“You’re really good with them. And I’m glad you noticed Mace and Dane hate to be separated,” his friend whispered as he herded the boys inside.

“Thanks. I like kids... and I figured that out pretty quick.”

“They’ve been besties their whole lives.”

“I’ve never had a best friend, but I know what it looks like.”

“You have one now, doc… that won’t change. Count on it, okay?”

He flushed with pleasure. “Okay… thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m the lucky one.” He changed the subject quickly. “I’m impressed with how you had the little buggers eating out of your hand. Box of crayons? Cooties? They loved that.” Tobyn chuckled as he turned his attention to the two boys who’d taken seats at the kitchen table, and were deep in whispered conversation. He kept them occupied while the simple tea was made.

Within the promised five minutes of healing, Kellar had finished, and pronounced Dane ‘fit as a fiddle.’ That got him matching snickers from both kids. “How does your throat feel, buddy?”

“Great. It’s been sore for a week, but today was the worst. Now, it doesn’t hurt a bit. I won’t have to go to the doctor and take pills. Thanks a lot, sir.” He smiled at Kellar, and then Mace. “Wait till I tell everyone how easy it was.”

Tobyn teased as the boys went out the door. “And your legend grows.”

“Yikes. Don’t really want to be a legend, and I sure as hell don’t want to be called sir.”

“Too late, man. You already are. And you should be… sir.”

“Knock it off, smartass.” He laughed when Tobyn bowed.

“Whatever you say, sir. So how did the others’ colors look to you?”

“No health issues, but there was a little paleness to their auras. Dane’s was better when he left, though. It was brighter, for sure.”

“See, I told you your healing does that.”

“I don’t know, Tobyn. It might be a temporary effect, but there even looked to be a tiny difference in Mace’s. Maybe a kid’s fluctuates? These are the first shifter kids I’ve met. So… there hasn’t been a child born for eight-and-a-half years?” He attempted to smile as he imitated Bertram, but that fact was freaking Kellar out. He’d known there were only six children in the entire pack, but he hadn’t known about the barren stretch. Now that the young ones had left, he allowed his shock to surface at the grave statistic.

“No. There were two pregnancies, but the babies were stillborn. It scares you too, doesn’t it?”

“I have to admit it’s pretty sobering. Wow. That’s sad. Did they look normal… no defects?”

“As far as I know. I didn’t ask anyone at the time, but I remember my mom saying the little girl was beautiful. We were all upset, and it’s still a touchy subject. The pack pins a lot of hope on any new pregnancy, and it’s been a long fucking time since....” Tobyn turned away, wiping at his eyes.

Kellar found himself folding, even if he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. He walked up behind the man anyway, putting a hand on each shoulder. “We’ll figure this out, Tobyn.”

He didn’t turn around, but he did utter, “We?”

“Yeah, we. Let’s take this one day at a time. I’m not part of the pack, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’m looking at all this from a different perspective, and the more information I can get the better.”

Tobyn did turn around this time. “Are you telling me you’re staying?”

He put his dislodged hands on Tobyn’s forearms, looking slightly down at him as he expelled a big breath of air.

“You’re not, are you?” It was a resigned statement more than a question.

“I… I don’t know. Wait, Tobyn. Look at me, please. I want to. I want to help you in any way I can. Do you even want me around knowing how I feel about you?”

Tobyn turned his eyes back to Kellar. “I’ve thought about that,” he said softly. “If you leave it’s gonna hurt, and if you stay it’s gonna hurt. Either way, it’ll be hard… not just for you… you know that, right?”

“I do. I’ve heard what you said about how your life has to go, but I also have a pretty good idea how you feel. I don’t know if that makes it harder or easier.” He tried a little smile, and got a hint of one back. “So let’s just take it day by day. I’m learning more all the time.”

“What does that mean? Are you saying you have some idea of what’s going on with the pack?” The hope in his eyes ripped at Kellar’s heart, but he couldn’t jump the gun.

“Nothing I have any certainty about. But, I’m always thinking, and I am a healer, so maybe that will come in handy. I’m beginning to see more clearly just how devastating the malaise has been for Morningstar. For now, trust you’re not alone in this. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to desert you when you need me, and if that means going with you in search of other packs… well, I’m not saying no just yet. Fair enough? That’s if you still want me around.”

Tobyn was quick to respond. “I think I’d rather be hurting with you, than without you. It’s fair enough for me if it’s fair enough for you?”

He nodded. “So, one day at a time, and nothing’s written in stone anymore?”

“Agreed. Thank you, Kellar. I don’t know why, but you give me strength. I pretended to myself this would be easy… getting answers and handling the pressure. I was wrong. I need help. I need your help, but only if you can handle it.”

“Tobyn?”

“Yeah?”

“Enough talk. I’m starving. Mountain man must eat.”

“Oh crap. Sorry. Do you want to head over to the lodge or...?” Tobyn pulled open the fridge and Kellar came up behind him to find Elinor had taken care of them again. There was lots of food packed in, including what smelled like a venison stroganoff.

He breathed in loudly through his nose as he leaned partly over Tobyn. “I want whatever that is.”

“What time do you think we’ll leave in the morning?” They were sitting at the kitchen table, having made a good dent in the delicious meal.

“Knowing my mom, she’ll need an hour or so in the office. She likes to make sure every department is covered for the day, and Maynard and Ingram hate doing the day-to-day shit, so they leave it to her.” He chuckled. “They barely know where the office is, let alone the schedules and stock orders. Between you and me, Ingram would rather be taking people out on one of the boats, and fishing. Stay clear of him if you don’t like fish stories.”

“It’s pretty obvious your mom is the one in charge.”

“Yeah, she takes on most of the responsibility, but if there’s a big decision to be made, she doesn’t let the other two off the hook… no pun intended,” he said with a grin.

Kellar rolled his eyes. “I think it was intended, and I’ll give it a C minus. So, what time?”

“Come on,” he whined. “It was at least a C plus. And if Mom doesn’t call, we should just head over and have breakfast while we wait. Most of the workers will be eating between six and seven, so unless you want to meet a lot of the members at once, we should go after that.”

“Sounds good to me. I’d prefer meeting them in small groups.”

“I figured,” Tobyn said with a knowing look. “So what do you want to do next?”

“Check on Adelin, if you don’t mind? I want to make sure she’s not overdoing it. Just because she’s feeling better doesn’t mean she should be up and about. Her body suffered substantial damage from the cancer.”

“Oh, so that’s what I heard in your voice this morning.”

“What did you hear?”

“Exactly what you just said. A doctor’s concern, when Hutch said she’d been into the lodge. Let me clean up these dishes and we can go check on your patient. I’ll call her and tell her we’re coming.”

Kellar jumped up. “I’ll wash and you can dry.”

“Deal. I hate washing.”

“And I hate drying. See, we’re perfect for one another.” He wanted to bite his traitorous tongue off. “Sorry… I was just….”

“Joking? I know, man. I do have a sense of humor, you know.”

“Right.” He busied himself with filling the sink, trying to get his blush to dissipate. At least Tobyn didn’t appear to be affected by his stupid remark.

Tilly was sitting on her front step as if waiting for them, her dark blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, and blue eyes pensive. Kellar wondered at her serious expression. The girl looked miles away, but seemed to snap out of it when Tobyn called out from the road. Standing, she greeted Kellar with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, profusely expressing her thanks, and apologizing for being asleep when he'd left the previous evening. “Adelin is resting, but she’s looking forward to seeing you. She has been wanting to thank you all day. Go on in… Tobyn and I can sit out here and talk.”

Kellar gave Tobyn a quick glance before entering the girls’ home. He found Adelin on the couch in the front room with her feet up, looking rosy-cheeked, but tired. Flickering, he was relieved to see no offending color anywhere. Even though he’d been sure of her cure, it was still nice to have it verified. It was an inescapable fact, though, this young girl would need time to regain her vitality, and until then, she was susceptible to a number of illnesses.

Standing, she wrapped painfully thin arms around him, and held on with surprising strength. “Thank you for giving me my life back, Kellar. I was so scared these would be my last few days.” She was talking into his stomach because he towered over her, and seemed to have no intention of letting go.

Truly touched, he stroked her hair, taken note of the dryness of it. That would soon change as she built up her health and strength. “Are you ever going to let me go?” he asked with amusement.

“Oh, sorry.” She released him, and wiped away the tears on her face.

“No need to be sorry. I enjoyed the hug, but I want you staying off your feet as much as possible for the next week.”

“But, I feel so good. Is everything okay with my cancer?” Her expression had quickly turned to one of alarm.

It touched him further to see some doubt over her turnaround. “What cancer? You don’t have cancer.” He grinned at her as he saw the relief flood her face. “But you did, and it took its toll, so you need rest. Lots and lots of rest. I don’t want you catching any colds or flus. Okay?”

“Okay, doc,” she said.

Kellar found he was getting used to, and kind of liked this new moniker, and laughed at the pretty girl’s smirk. “Good. A short walk every day is fine, and after a few days you can stretch it to two. All right then, I’ve seen all I need to.” He walked over to the window and noticed Tobyn and Tilly had walked out to the road, and were talking intently. Tobyn glanced up and met his eyes, looking confused about something. He could sense this was not a good conversation. “I, ah….”

“Kellar, can you stay here for a bit longer? Tilly’s been waiting to talk to Tobyn, so if you wouldn’t mind giving them some time?”

“Oh, sure. No problem.” He couldn’t help wondering what was going on as he took a seat.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean?” Yeah, that wasn’t defensive at all. “Tobyn? Yeah, he’s become a good friend.”

“You know Tilly and he grew up together?”

“I never thought about it, but of course… it makes sense.”

Adelin giggled. “I was the tag-a-long little sister.”

Kellar’s thoughts went to his own childhood. He was never welcomed as anyone’s little brother. “I’m sure you were adorable.”

“I was.” She giggled again. “You should know… I want to tell you something, but….”

Why did she look so nervous all of a sudden?

Leaning slightly forward, she spoke again. “Tilly knows Tobyn better than she knows anyone, outside of me, I guess… and better than anyone else knows him.”

“I’m sure she does. Adelin? What are we talking about?”

“I’m sorry. I’m not doing this well.” She gave him a sheepish look. “You saved my life, and I feel like I owe you this. I just want you to be prepared.”

“Prepared for what?”

“Tobyn. Tilly is pretty sure she knows how he feels about you, and she’s convinced you’re aware of it too. I’m not saying she’s right, and you don’t have to say anything, but he was never good at hiding stuff from her. We’ve talked, and it’s none of my business, but I understand how my sister is feeling. I just think you should have a heads-up that he might be upset later. I don’t want to say anymore, but maybe this will help you understand what’s going on if he gets weird. He hates change… he always has. Just know Tilly holds nothing against you, and she thinks you’re a great guy.

“Hey," Adelin said nervously. "I hope you don’t mind me talking to you about this? I didn’t want to overstep, but my sister has been on edge all day. She only wants them both to be happy… to resolve this… and Tobyn can be a little stubborn sometimes.”

Holy crap! What is Tilly doing? Kellar found himself unable to answer the girl, and returned to the window, his need to lay eyes on the man too great to resist. He was surprised to see them in a hug this time.

Adelin joined him, and he barely heard her sigh of relief. “Oh, good. It looks like it went well. They really are the best of friends.”

Kellar was still a bit befuddled at what Adelin had said. What the hell was happening? Had Tilly given him an ultimatum? Had Tobyn denied any feelings for him? Tilly was now walking toward the house while Tobyn stayed on the road, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “It looks like we’re going now,” he said to Adelin. Another quick embrace and he was out the door, trying not to hurry. He received a hug goodbye from Tilly, and some words he didn’t hear, before approaching his friend. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine… just fine.” He started walking, and Kellar fell into step beside him.

“Tobyn?”

“Can we talk later, please?”

“Yeah, sure.” It was a quiet but tense walk home, and Kellar’s still-full stomach kept threatening to empty.