The Hidden Ones: Resurrection - 22. High School Reunion!

---Ryder---

Walking back and looking at Liz I couldn’t help but be swarmed by a thousand memories, a thousand regrets. For the first time since I was a boy I can’t get what I want. I can’t just hand someone money and make it happen. I want her back, but I know I’ll never get it. I just hope she doesn’t bad mouth me to Teddy. I know I don’t deserve him back, but I can’t survive without him. I’ve been through a lot of rough shit in my life, but life without him was by far the worst.

“Hey everyone.” Mike’s booming voice sounded out as Liz and I finally reached the group again. “It’s been a long time.” He uncomfortably fidgeted. I could see him looking around and slowly observing everyone as he thought. He took a few more steps until finally he was closest to me and Teddy. Imagine that? Mike more comfortable next to me than Blake?

“Hey.” Blake finally spoke, reaching out a hand to shake. “You don’t look any older.”

“You do, I barely even recognize you.” He shook his head as their hands connected. “You look so-so professional. What happened?”

“Life.” He shrugged looking over at his wife. “I went to a real school, got a real job, and just cleaned up my act.”

“That’s insane.” He let out, trying his hardest to remember what the man once looked like. “It’s nice to see you too Liz.”

“Hello Mike.” She said, meeting him with a cold handshake. So I guess it’s him too? Damn Liz. You don’t forget.

“When are you expecting?” Mike couldn’t help but ask, noticing the obvious pregnancy.

“Week or two.” She rolled her eyes. “I just want it done.”

“That’s our child you’re talking about.” Blake reminded her in a sigh.

“Yeah well you’re not the one carrying it.” She said, shifting her icy gaze over to him.

He let out a bashful laugh but quickly composed himself as he saw her stare. “Let’s go eat, yeah?” Teddy interrupted, throwing Blake a life-line.

“Yeah, come on dear, you shouldn’t be standing.” Blake quickly encouraged.

“Dear?” She sighed. “You call me that again and you’ll be drinking through a straw.”

“She’s not serious, is she?” Mike asked me as the two of us fell to the back of the pack.

“She is.” I warned in a nod. “She’s fucking crazy.”

Teddy turned and shot me a serious look. “They’re going to hear you you moron.”

“It’s fine.” I rolled my eyes. “We were all thinking it anyway.”

“Watch yourself.” He warned, keeping eye contact.

I turned to Mike and raised my eyebrows drawing a quick laugh. “Since when are you two friends?” Blake asked, as we all sat down at a small table.

“He was the guard outside of my hospital room.” I answered looking over at Mike.

“Shadowed him for about ten hours a day for two weeks.” Mike said in a deep breath. “Learned a lot about him.”

“Like?” Liz pressured, seeing what she could draw from him.

“He’s really sick.” Mike answered, keeping a serious face. “And he doesn’t want our pity, but he appreciates our help.”

“Okay.” She quickly dismissed, moving her eyes to the menu.

Blake quickly looked from his wife to me, put off by the growing tension. “So what’s next in music?” He suddenly asked, unsure what kind of small talk to make.

“Blake.” Teddy sighed. “That’s like Ryder asking you what’s next in finance. I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about work.”

“It’s cool.” I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know. You’ve got that techno kid Drazo trying to force a new form of house music, but I can’t see that lasting. Hip Hops getting strong again. Rock’s definitely starting to trend down.”

“You going to do something about that?” Blake tempted with a smile.

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure what I was actually planning. “Messiah’s dead if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It had one hell of a run.” He replied, showing he’d always kept up with my music. “Volume Eight was something special.”

I politely nodded my head in appreciation but didn’t say anything. I never knew what to say when people complimented my music. I know it’s popular, but to me it’ll always seem flawed in one way or another. Somehow I achieved my dream of being that big rock star, yet I never found a way to love my own music. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing every one of those songs, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t seem generic to me.

“So you’re coming to St. James’ for the birth right?” Teddy asked, seeing me get lost in my own head.

Blake uncomfortably looked to Liz but stayed quiet. “I’m still not sure Teddy.” Liz finally sighed. “It’s an extra five minutes compared to Valley. It’s going to depend on how I feel.”

“Okay, but we have the best technology and doctors in the area.” He began but caught himself as he realized the casual setting we were supposed to be in. “We were good enough for Ryder.”

“What’s that mean?” I asked, finally focusing back on the conversation.

“It means you’re a diva.” Mike cackled, hitting me with a supportive pat on the back.

“I was a good patient.” I defended, thinking of all the bullshit I had to put up with. “I still am.”

“Sure thing.” Teddy teased, lightly hitting my foot with his. “They only had to get me two or three times.” Teddy couldn’t help but giggle as I looked down at the menu we were sharing. “You’re not getting Pizza by the way.”

“We’re at a Pizza place.” I exhaled, not having the energy to fight him.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t eat healthy.” Teddy said, covering most of the menu with his hand. “My dad told me what happened this afternoon. It’s salads only.”

As Blake began to laugh his wife turned and mirrored Teddy’s gaze. “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. You shouldn’t get pizza either.”

“What?” Blake argued, scooting away from her. “I’m getting Pizza.”

“I mean you’re not.” She demanded. “You know the doctor told you to stay away from greasy foods.”

“Want to get another table?” Blake quickly offered looking over at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded with a smile.

“You two are so stupid.” Teddy rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious if you’re serious.” I continued, seeing how many of Teddy’s buttons I could push.

“Let’s do it.” Blake giggled, as he went to stand his wife quickly grabbed his jeans and yanked him back down.

“Can I actually just get Pizza?” I asked, looking back to Teddy.

“You’re a grown man.” He shrugged, clearly against it. “You want to destroy your body, you go ahead and do that.”

“You should start working out again.” Mike suddenly interrupted eager to shift the topic.

“Work out, again?” Teddy asked, disparagingly staring at us both.

“Well yeah, I assume he used to.” Mike shrugged. “His arms were pretty big when he first came into the hospital.”

“What do you mean were?” I asked, looking down at my arms. “It’s only been two and a half weeks.”

“That’s enough to start losing muscle.” Mike shrugged, looking at them. “Plus, it’d be a good way to strengthen your heart.”

“Yeah.” I exhaled in a nod. “Plus it’d be something to do.” For a Mike idea, well it’s not bad at all! Drugs or not, I used to work out all the time. What they don’t tell you about tour life is it takes everything out of you. You need to be in top physical shape for it, or there’s no way you’ll be putting on good shows. And now, well maybe I need to show my body some love again.

“I’ll set you up for physical therapy at the hospital.” Teddy nodded his head. “You can’t handle real workouts yet.”

“What’s the matter with his heart?” Liz asked, hiding the concern in her eyes.

“Nothing.” I self-consciously shook my head. “I’m fine.”

“Like I said, sick.” Mike muttered, reminding Liz to take it easy on me.

“What’s life like as a cop?” I interrupted, having had enough about me.

“Like you’d imagine.” He shrugged. “I sit around in the patrol car a lot just waiting. I might get a promotion for detective soon, but we’ll see.”

“Is there anyone I can talk to?” I asked, drawing a surprised look from everyone at the table.

“I-I’m not sure about that.” Mike nervously laughed. “I don’t know if Ryder Sullivan is the person they want to hear,”

“Why not?” I asked with a shrug. “I’ve had hundreds of cops fail me over the years. You’re the first one to keep me perfectly safe and contained for two weeks.” I echoed his laugh trying my hardest to sound modest. “Trust me, I-they like to hear from me.”

“Okay, I-I’ll text Teddy the number or something.” Mike exhaled, trying to hide the excitement on his face.

Liz glanced up and shot Teddy a cautious look, almost as though she was trying to warn him. I could tell she thought it all was too good to be true, but it’s not. I’m serious about putting in a good word for Mike. He was at my beck and call for two weeks. That’s something I won’t forget.

I felt Liz’ eyes keep falling on me as dinner progressed. Scanning me for any strength or weakness it may notice. Much to Teddy’s disappointment I did wind up getting a slice of pizza, but ordered a salad with it anyway.

“The busboy recognizes you.” Blake instigated, watching the teenager awkwardly look from the table he was cleaning over to us.

“Exciting.” I muttered, trying my hardest to work through the pile of leaves on my plate. I noticed Liz roll her eyes at my words but tried my hardest to let it slide.

“What?” Teddy asked, noticing the same thing as me. “He just doesn’t want to be bothered right now.”

“I understand that.” She shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he has to be sarcastic about it.”

“I’m not being sarcastic.” I defended. “It’s just not a big deal when people notice me. If they want to ask for autographs they can.”

“Can I,”

“That doesn’t include you Blake.” Teddy interrupted, pushing his plate forward.

“Doesn’t include you.” Blake mocked as the teen quickly came over to clear some of our plates. “Modern music sucks.” he suddenly let out before the teen could say anything.

“Do you mind if I clear some plates?” The younger boy asked, trying his hardest to ignore both Blake’s words and me.

“Go ahead.” Blake quickly nodded. “But what was I saying? Oh! Yeah, modern music is so shitty. Especially Messiah. Like come up with something original once in a while.” The teen’s eyes quickly darted to me then away, desperately trying to see what kind of reaction I’d give. “And their singer just whines all the time. Sounds like a total cry baby.”

Teddy began to bite down on his lip as he shot Blake an agitated look. “Hey kid, you like Messiah?” Blake taunted, seeing how far he could take it.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.” Teddy quickly apologized. “You’re just trying to do your job.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged, trying his hardest to hide his blush. “I uh, actually like them a lot.”

“Just like everyone else from your generation. You guys need to,”

“Blake stop pushing the kid’s buttons.” I finally spoke up.

Blake let out a short cackle as his wife elbowed him in the side. “You’re such a dick.”

“I was just playing.” He laughed. “Kid what do you think of our battle borne friend over there? People tell him he looks like Ryder Sullivan all the time.”

“He does.” The teen nodded, now questioning if I was the real deal. I saw him glance to my hands, desperate to see if he could identify any tattoos.

“I don’t look like Ryder Sullivan.” I clarified with a shake of my head. “I am Ryder Sullivan.”

“What?” Teddy let out, confused by my words. “If you are Ryder, then wouldn’t you,”

“Drop it.” I warned, already thrown off by Blake’s games.

“Prove it.” Blake teased, not ready to drop his act yet.

I rolled my eyes and pulled up my sleeves, exposing the tattoos that lay underneath. “I hate those things.” Teddy began, taking his millionth long look at the ink on my arms.

“Not the time.” I forced out. “You go get a paper and pen and I’ll sign something for you.”

“I-my boss said we shouldn’t disrupt you.” The teen quickly shook his head.

“Yeah well we disrupted you.” I shrugged, looking around for our waitress. “Hey,” I nodded as she began to approach. “Can you get him a paper and a pen?”

“I, uh,” She muttered, shooting him a confused look.

“Your boss won’t let him.” Teddy tried to explain as her confusion grew worse.

“He’s a musician.” The busboy quickly explained.

“Oh! That’s who Frank was talking about?” She asked as she left to go fulfill Ryder’s request.

“I guess not everyone knows you.” Liz giggled, catching her husband’s spirits.

“I never said everyone does.” I corrected. “It’s just not a big deal when people do.”

“You totally expected her to know who you were.” Teddy supported, no longer turned off by the conversation.

“I never,”

“Eh, you were pretty surprised when she was confused.” Mike weighed in.

“Having Oliver around must’ve inflated your ego.” Blake cackled, getting the reaction he’d been searching for this whole time.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized as the waitress brought back a small piece of paper and a marker. “My friends have me all wound up.”

“What are you blaming us for?” Teddy giggled as laughter spread around the table. “This is all you.”

I rolled my eyes and quickly scribbled my name for the teen. “Thanks for listening over the years. Hopefully you were able to come see us.”

“Messiah was my first concert, I saw you a few years ago in Metlife stadium.” The teen said, trying his hardest to hide the giddy look jumping in his eyes as I handed him the autograph.

“Good.” I forced a smile. “My friends being a dick, but I appreciate it.”

The teen slowly nodded his head as he looked down at the scribble. “Good luck getting better.”

“He’ll be okay.” Teddy spoke up. “We’ve got him taken care of. Just keep this on the down low.”

“I will.” He smiled, before quickly heading back to work.

“That was nice.” Mike shrugged, watching another waiter approach the busboy to ask what happened.

“It’s nothing, I just wrote on a paper. Blake’s the one who made it a big deal.” I said, starting to stare him down.

“You’re the one who expected the waitress to know who you are.” He teased, happily letting the chaos he had created take form.

“You look so mature, but you’re still the same kid from high school.” I shook my head.

“You too.” He cackled with a grin. “Can I come over this week to listen to music and catch up?”

“Yeah.” I submitted in a sigh. “All I do is sit home, so you can come over whenever you want.”

Liz rolled her eyes and glanced over at Teddy. “You glad you reunited these two?”

“Kind of.” He smiled, realizing I had always loved Blake’s games. “Mike you want to come over at some point? My parents would love to see you again, and you haven’t met Oliver yet.”

“Okay.” He quickly nodded his head. “If that’s cool with both of you.”

“Sure.” I quickly nodded. “Like I said, I do nothing but stare at walls all day.”

“Liz?” Teddy provoked but grew quiet as her stare grew colder. “Fine, miss out, but that’s on you.”

“We’re adults now Teddy. I can’t just drop my week and come over.” She warned.

“Since when does being an adult mean you have to be boring?” I tempted. “We can still have fun.”

“I didn’t say we couldn’t.” She defended. “But when you work nine to five all day every day you want to stay home more often.”

“Boring.” Teddy shrugged, but quickly moved closer to me.

“You’re the king of boring.” She said in an angry tone.

“Not anymore.” He smiled, bumping me with his shoulder.

“Fine, then I’m the boring one.” She shrugged. “But my feet are swelling and I need to go home.”

She started to get even more frustrated as laughter rang out around the table, but Blake quickly stood up and helped her to her feet before he could say anything. Even when we were saying goodbye she stared me down, making sure I knew my place in her mind. She can play hard ass all she wants, but I think I just want to have fun for a while. I want to fix old friendships, and spend time with family. I want to feel love and give it back. I want to be around people.

*************************************************************************************

“What’d you think?” Teddy couldn’t help but ask as we finally pulled into his driveway.

“It was nice.” I shrugged. “Everyone’s the same except Mike.”

Teddy nodded his head in agreement. “It’s kind of cool how much he matured, right?”

“Yeah.” I said in support. “I’m glad everything worked out for him.”

“Me too.” Teddy smiled. I could tell it meant a lot to him that Mike had changed. It’s easy to forget but back then he didn’t just lose me, he lost Mike as well. They were friends forever but I knocked those rose tinted glasses right off Teddy’s face and exposed Mike for who he was. But that kid seems to be long gone. I don’t know what happened to him or why, but he’s grown up. And I-if I’m going to go around asking for people’s forgiveness, well it’s time to start giving out some as well.

“Hey!” Oli jumped to his feet as we walked through the front door. “How was Blake?”

“Good.” Teddy rolled his eyes. “He’s coming over this week.”

“What? Yes!” Oli shouted carefully looking at me. “Your video already has over a million views. Do you want to read some comments?”

“No.” I quickly shook my head. “The video wasn’t for me.”

“That’s lame.” Oliver groaned in protest. “Can I tell people I took it?”

“What? No!” I quickly shot down as Teddy began to giggle. “People aren’t supposed to know I live here. Remember?”

“They wouldn’t believe me anyway.” He grumbled to himself. “But can you come to battle of the bands this week? My band is playing and I-I want you to be there.”

“Sure.” I nodded cautiously looking over to Teddy who gave me the okay. “Just let us know and we’ll be there.”

Oliver nodded his head but uncomfortably began to stare at Teddy. “What?” Teddy sighed, looking back at the younger version of himself.

“Can you leave us alone?” He asked in a brave voice. “I have to do a school project on someone I look up to.”

“Did you ask Ryder if he’s comfortable with you asking him questions?” Teddy groaned, heading towards the stairs.

‘It’s fine.” I shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. “I’ll be up soon.”

“You better be up before I fall asleep.” He warned starting to climb the stairs.

“Alright.” I said in a sigh. “What do you want to ask me?”

“Hold on.” He whispered staring at the staircase. “It’s not about you. You’re kind of full of yourself, you know that?”

I went to protest but rolled my eyes. “I’ve been told.” I surrendered. “So who’s this about? Brandon? Tommy? Zach?”

“Teddy.” He forced out as shock began to enter my face. “So when did you first meet?”

“I, Teddy, like your brother Theodore?” I asked as he quickly nodded his head.

“Just shh, I don’t want him to know.” Oliver whined. “So don’t tell him.”

“Oh, is it like a surprise?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“No!” He quickly shut down. “He’s never going to know. Just, when did you meet him?”

“Kindergarten I guess.” I finally answered, thinking it all over. So Oliver does look up to him? I knew it! “He was always around as we grew up. Not too much different than he is now. Maybe a little more easy going.”

“So when did you get to know him?” Oli prodded.

“End of junior year. Blake forced me to go to one of his parties. Your brother sank his teeth in and wouldn’t let me go. The rest is history.” I shrugged, trying not to get into the details of it all.

“Why is he someone I should look up to?” Oliver asked, starting to take notes on his phone.

I let out a deep breath and thought it over. “Because he’s always wanted to help people, even when he didn’t know how. He’s committed his life to saving people. He’s not a doctor for the money. He’s a doctor because he wants to make a difference.” I finally explained. “Sometimes it may not come across that way, but for better or worse it’s what he truly wants to do.”

“What’s important to him?”

“Family.” I let out, not even having to think about it. “Family has always been important to him. You, his parents, his friends. Even when you were in your mom’s stomach he couldn’t stop talking about being a big brother. He was just, excited.”

“Easy for you to say.” Oliver muttered. “What are ways I can be like him?”

“Stop getting suspended for one.” I teased in a laugh. “But seriously, just work hard. You’re not going to be another Teddy, and you shouldn’t try to be one. Just follow what you want and work hard. If you want to be a drummer, become a drummer. That’s what he would do.”

Oliver nodded his head and quickly went onto other questions. I could tell he knew the answers but just wanted to hear what I would say. Wanted to know if the image he had of his brother was the real thing. I had to set a thing or two straight but I could tell he idolized Teddy. He’ll never ever admit it, but he wants to be just like his big brother. He wants to impress him. He wants to show him he’s worth Teddy’s time.

“You’re more like Teddy than you think.” I comforted, getting up to walk upstairs. “So don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t want to be like him!” He lied in a loud voice “He’s a big bully!”

“Sure he is.” I laughed, quickly climbing the stairs and finally reaching our room.

“You asleep yet?” I whispered, getting closer to him.

“I was.” He muttered, slowly opening his eyes.

“Liar.” I giggled, quickly kicking off my clothes. “I love you, you know that?”

“We tried this last night.” He grumbled turning over. “Your heart is too weak.”

“I know.” I quickly nodded, climbing into bed next to him. “I’m not trying to have sex. I just, I want to make sure you know I love you.”

“I love you too.” He let out, cuddling up to me.

“You changed my life. I owe you so much.” I let out, starting to run my hand through his hair.

“What the hell did you and Oliver talk about?” He asked, too tired to look up at me.

“A lot.” I shrugged.

“You just love hearing about yourself.” He teased, but I could tell he didn’t mean it.

The truth is I hate hearing about myself. I hate that people look up to me in any way shape or form. I’m not a hero. I’m a failure. No one in their right mind should ever try to be like me. But that’s never the way Teddy will see it. To him I’m perfect. To him I’m the rock star I’ve always dreamed of. Then again to me he’s the doctor he’s always wanted to be. He’s perfect. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He sees that about himself, doesn’t he?