Bloodlines - 13. Chapter 13

September 1, 1998

I dragged my tired ass up the stairs, glad to be back from Barcelona, even though I'd had a great time. Barcelona was an awesome city. From La Rambla, with all of its street performers, to Mont Juich and the Gaudi buildings, it was really cosmopolitan. Alejandro and I had gone off on our own in the evenings, leaving Stef and JP to do their own thing, and he'd shown me the fun side of the city. We'd party until 8am, wake up in the afternoon and explore the city, then go out again. I was fighting a hangover and jet lag at the same time.

I got to my room and threw my shit in there, then looked over at Cody's door. The last week before Alejandro was due to leave had been really weird. The delicate balance between spending time with Alejandro and Cody had begun to fray as Alejandro had become clingier. And that had gotten progressively worse as his departure date drew closer. Cody pretended like it didn't bother him, but it did. That I could tell it bothered him pissed him off even more. In some ways, he was so basic it was laughable. He had the same jealousies, the same pettiness as any other guy. Then there was the side of him that was unique, extraordinary; his incredible insights into people and his ability to flow through life without letting most things bug him too much.

I took a shower and that woke me up so I decided to go see if Cody was awake. I walked into his room and it was dark like Alejandro's. Both of these guys were cave dwellers. When I got to his bed I saw that he wasn't alone. One of the shapes sat up and flipped on a light. Brian. Cody rolled over and saw me and got a worried look on his face.

“What the fuck do you want?” Brian demanded.

“I want to fuck,” I said, flashing my big smile at him and Cody as I twisted his sentence around.

“You're in the wrong place,” Brian said. God, he was bitchy.

“God damn it Brian, knock it off,” Cody said. Brian turned to him and glared, his fury palpable.

“I'm sorry Cody. We just got back and I thought I'd stop in and say 'hi',” I said.

“It's cool. It's nice to see you're back.” Cody said.

“Yeah. It's fucking thrilling. Now get the fuck out,” Brian snapped.

“Did you move in here Brian? Is this your room now?” I asked. I waited for his anger to build. “So you and Justin aren't back together? I'll have to give him a call.”

“Asshole,” Brian said. “Leave him alone.”

I laughed. “Boy will he be pissed when he finds out you came down here to fuck Cody.”

“You're not telling him shit,” he said. He stood up and got in my face, his scrawny naked body attractive even when it was attached to an idiot. But I'd taken enough of his shit.

I grabbed his arms, up by his shoulders, and picked him up off the floor. He only weighed maybe 170 pounds, probably less. I slammed him into the wall, not hard enough to hurt him, just hard enough to get his attention. “That's the last time you even think of telling me what to do.” I pulled him away from the wall and dropped him onto the floor, which surprised him enough that he didn't catch himself and collapsed into a pile at my feet. “When I get back to Paly, I'm gonna call Justin and we're gonna fuck until we drop. You don't like it; think about how you bad you treat him.” I leaned over and kissed Cody. “It really is good to see you,” I said with an evil grin. He winked at me. I turned, accidentally kicking Brian, and strolled out of Cody's room.

I headed into my room and flopped on my bed, glad to be home, glad to be able to sleep, and ironically enough, glad to be alone. Brian was being an asshole, but eventually I'd have to learn to get along with him. It wasn't fair to JP and Stef to cause that kind of drama in their lives.

I woke up later to feel a body next to mine, holding me close, cuddling. I pretended to stay asleep for a minute to take in the sensory clues. It was Cody. That hard body, those strong arms, and that distinct smell of his, his sexy musky odor. I stretched back into him. “Hey baby,” I said.

“Hey,” he said, as he nuzzled my neck with his mouth. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I said, and rolled over to face him, and kiss him.

“I'm sorry about Brian,” he said sincerely.

“You have nothing to apologize for. The shit isn't between you and me, it's between him and Justin,” I said. His eyes looked worried. “Why is he here?”

“To be here when Stef gets back,” he said. “That's his excuse. That, and to try and get me back.” Suddenly Brian's anger made a lot more sense.

“So that's why he was pissed at me. He wants Justin as a backup just in case you say no.”

“I think you nailed it. Except I already said no.”

“You still love him,” I said. I was going to say more but stopped, he knew what I was going to say.

“Yeah, in my own way, I still love him. But loving someone isn't always enough, and it's not enough in our case.” He got irritated. “And no I'm not just pushing him away.”

I laughed. “You're like the first person who ever listened to the shit I say.”

“Yeah, well you're pretty fucking smart.” He paused and we kissed for a bit. It wasn't passionate; it was more of a bonding thing. “There's the distance thing. He's still 400 miles away.”

“Is that the only reason?” I asked. I knew it wasn't but it seemed like he wanted me to ask.

“No. He offered to quit and move down here,” Cody said. I stared at him, surprised. Brian had a pretty kick-ass job, and a slick set up. Offering to leave it was a pretty big deal.

“So what is it then?” I asked.

“I'm not in love with him. I thought about it, searched my feelings, and figured out that I care about him, but it's not love,” he said. He seemed so resolved and philosophical.

“It's cool that you know that,” I said. “Kind of sucks for Justin, being second choice and all.”

He seemed a little irritated that I mentioned Justin, but he let it pass. “Justin knows where things stand.”

“I wonder if he'll treat you like Brian treats me,” I mused.

“That's not what I'm thinking about,” he said, and nibbled on my neck. “I'm thinking that I've got the hottest 18-year-old stud in the world in bed and I'm thinking I should fuck him.” Then he did, and it felt so good to be back with him, physically and emotionally.

September 4, 1998

Things had settled down into a pleasant routine, what with the two drama queens gone. Alejandro sent me constant e-mails. I figured one a day was fine, so that's how often I responded. And Brian had left right after our confrontation. I could tell how our conflict bothered JP, and the thought of what I was going to have to do to make that right grated on my brain. I was going to have to initiate things, to be the one to go hat in hand to him, that little fucker. But I'd do it, if only for JP.

I'd gotten an e-mail from Matthew too. He said the whole town laughed their asses off at Bud Collins and his boys when Stef's lawyers refused to do the deal unless the contaminated parcel was removed. That had pissed Collins off, and like an idiot he'd made a big deal about it. That's when things really got funny. Evidently the State ‘found out’ and sent in inspectors, and are in the process of levying fines and demanding that they clean it up. So now he's back at the negotiating table with Stef, seeking money to cover his new expenses, only the price is lower now because of all the shit. Even Matthew's e-mails were somehow perky and happy.

I headed into the kitchen with the printout of the e-mail. I showed it to Brad who busted out laughing. He was a born businessman. Smart, focused, and ruthless. “We should be able to close this deal in a week, maybe two,” Brad said. “That guy's a piece of work.” He was referring to Collins, not Matthew.

Stef breezed in, just on time. “It seems this will be your last meeting with us for a while,” he said to me sadly. “I do not know how to repay you for your help.”

“Me? Help you? I learned a ton,” I said. “You did me a favor.”

“A mutual benefit, eh?” he asked with his smile.

“Now, if you wanted to do something for me,” I said, flirting, “I charge the same fee as Matthew.” Brad chuckled and shook his head.

“Sadly, that is too expensive. Robbie would hate me, and Frank would growl at me more than he does now,” Stef said playfully. “I am afraid you will have to just live on the memory of my charms.”

“Lucky for me, they're good memories,” I said with a wink.

“So you drive up to Paly tomorrow?” Brad asked. I nodded. “I don't suppose I could talk you into taking JJ skating this afternoon?”

“Sure, I'll go. I'll work on my heterosexual side,” I joked. Tiffany was so hot.

“We got an interesting proposal,” Brad said.

“From whom?” Stef asked.

“From Luke or at least through Luke. There are a couple of Stanford PhD students who are developing some web-search engine. They want funding. They don't meet Luke's parameters.” Brad liked Luke, that much was obvious, but it had also become apparent over the summer that Luke's complete reliance on mathematical analysis and formulaic systems annoyed Brad more than he'd admit.

“You think there's something to this? I thought we were moving away from Tech, lightening up our portfolio?” Stef asked.

“I think there's something to this. I think we should be flexible,” Brad said.

“How much do they want?” Stef asked.

“I'm not sure. No more than 10 million, at least to begin with.”

“I will trust your judgment on this one. This will tap out our cash reserves for a bit, until we have a few more deals that go public,” Stef said.

“That Xenex deal hits week after next. We'll net some big money from that. And I think we should take it and run,” Brad said.

“I agree. The new management they put in place will appeal to Wall Street, but they are too conventional for Xenex's culture,” Stef observed. I just sat there, watching them bring their expertise and judgment to the table. It would be really cool to see how this worked out.

“If you would like to remain involved, you are welcome to join me when we get to Palo Alto,” Stef said. My eyes bulged and he laughed. “That is a yes?” I nodded. How cool was that? I'd have to find time to fit that into my schedule. As usual, time flew, and I was surprised to find JJ standing in front of the table, staring at me impatiently.

“We have to get going,” he said firmly. I saw Brad smiling at his new-found resolve and assertiveness.

“You're right. My bag is in the GMC. You got your stuff?” He held up his bag for skates and other miscellaneous bullshit that figure skaters needed to have. It was the size of a backpack. My hockey bag looked like the duffel bag a soldier would carry, complete with body-armor. “I'll see you guys later,” I said to Brad and Stef and drove JJ down to the rink.

“You're leaving tomorrow,” he said. “I wish you could stay.”

“So do I. But I'll come back and see you. I was thinking that maybe you could come up and see one of my games?”

“Cool,” he said cheerfully, but with a little disdain. Was that a hint of figure skater arrogance? I almost laughed out loud. We headed into the rink, JJ with his backpack and me with just my skates.

Tiffany was waiting for him. “I didn't know you were back in town,” she said.

“Just got back a few days ago, but I leave for Paly tomorrow,” I said. She looked disappointed. I moved in for the kill. “You're going to miss me.”

“How did a stupid guy like you get into Stanford?” she asked sarcastically.

“I used my charm and good looks,” I said, being cocky.

“We have to skate,” JJ said, irritated that my flirting was delaying his lessons. I winked at her and then put on my skates. I spent two hours just skating in circles, exercising my muscles, thinking back about my summer, and thinking ahead to the fall.

I was so engrossed I was surprised when Tiffany and JJ skated up to me after their lesson was over. “Yo, space cadet,” she said. “Stop in next time you're in town.”

I looked at her and grinned. She waited for me to say something, but I didn't, I just grinned. She rolled her eyes and skated away. Yeah, I was getting under her skin. Too funny.

I got home to find Brad looking at me nervously. “What?” I demanded. He never looked like that.

“Jack called. You need to call him back,” he said.

“Jack?” I asked.

“Hobart. Claire's husband,” he said, like I should immediately internalize all these people and their names. Must be my test results. I got as nervous as Brad now, and I understood his expression.

I took the slip of paper and dialed the number. Jack’s nurse, or whatever she was, answered and put me on hold for an agonizing 1 minute and 34 seconds, according to the phone. “Matt?” I heard him say.

“Yeah, it's me. What's up?”

“You, from what I hear,” he teased.

“You don't need to hear. I'll give you a personal demonstration anytime, hot stuff,” I said, flirting. It helped to hide how nervous I was.

“Nope. Sorry. Brad's been trying for years, and I promised him he's got first dibs. But that's not why I'm calling. We got your results back.”

“OK,” I said nervously. It irritated me that Brad was watching me so intently that I might as well put the phone on speaker so he could hear too, but I was just being bitchy because this whole thing had me so freaked out.

“There were three matches,” he said. “Isn't that great news?”

“It is!” I said, feeling myself smile, and seeing Brad smile too. “There were three matches,” I said to him, then turned back to the phone. “Who matches me?”

“Frank, Robbie, and Cody,” he said. Cody? I wasn't expecting that.

“That's awesome Jack. Thanks so much!” Maybe there was hope for me yet? Maybe I could beat this fucking thing.

“No problem. When you get up here next week, you'll need to consult with the doctors and they'll want to get current blood work on you too,” he said.

“OK. Can I bug you for the contact info on Sunday?”

“Sure. There's one more thing,” Jack said. “They do a routine check for auto-immune deficiencies. An HIV check is included in that.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Yours was negative.”

“Thanks Jack. That's great news too.” So the cop hadn't given me the big one, at least not yet.

“I'll see you on Sunday,” I said, and hung up the phone.

“So who are they?” Brad asked. That was one thing about Brad: he wasn't shy about asking for info.

“You think I'm going to tell you?” I teased. “That's personal medical information; very confidential.” He gave me a dirty look while his eyes scanned my face, trying to read me, then he smiled, realizing I was giving him shit.

“Spill it,” he ordered.

“Frank, Robbie, and Cody,” I said.

“Frank and Robbie don't surprise me, but Cody does. Doesn't really matter. Robbie is determined to do this. I hope that's OK with you?” He looked nervous, like he was about to go out on a ledge and talk about something he shouldn't. “Look Matt, it's up to you and those three guys as to who gives you a kidney, but you have to know that if you don't ask Robbie, he'll be pretty hurt.”

“Why?” I asked. I knew why, I just wanted to make sure I was right.

“Since you got here, he's been on cloud nine. I know he's happy with our family, but I think it bothered him a bit that he didn't have his own child. I think he'd written the idea off as much as he could, pushed it out of his mind. Then you come walking in, and you're handsome, smart, and charming. You're everything he could have wanted in a son. He really does love you.”

I nodded and swallowed, fighting back the tears. “Well I love him too,” I said, and found that I meant it.

Brad smiled. “He feels bad for not being there for you,” he said, holding up his hand to shut me up. “He knows he shouldn't, but he just does. This gives him a way to set things right, at least in his own mind.”

I nodded and headed toward the door. I turned just before I left and looked at Brad. “Hey Brad?”

“What?” he asked.

“You're one lucky motherfucker, you know that right?” Robbie was a gem.

He smiled big. “I know that. And I make sure that he knows that I know that.”

I decided to crash before dinner. I woke up to that familiar feeling, Cody spooning up behind me, his strong arms enveloping me. I let out a happy sigh, almost a purr, and leaned back into him. “Wake up Sleeping Beauty,” he said. I turned around in his arms so I was facing him and pulled him into a big kiss.

“So that makes you my Prince Charming?” I joked.

“That's right. And who could be more charming than me?”

“Good point,” I said. “I got my test results back today. Three people matched me.”

“That is so cool!” he said. “So you'll be able to beat this thing? And get better?”

“I hope so,” I said.

“Who are they?” he asked.

“Frank, Robbie, and you,” I said. He actually seemed happy when I said it.

“Cool. You just tell me when, and you've got a kidney,” he said. Uh oh, I thought. I could feel those familiar feelings. He was reeling me in.

“That's the nicest thing anyone's ever offered to do for me,” I said, and it was. Cody had no connection to me, or blood connection, like Robbie or Frank. “But I think I have to let Robbie do this.”

He smiled, almost disappointed. “I can see that.”

“You're doing it,” I said.

“Doing what?” he asked.

“You're pulling me in,” I said. “You trying to make me fall in love with you? You want my emotional cherry?” I teased.

“Yeah, I'm pulling you in,” he said, his voice so sincere. I lay there with him, half-expecting one of us to push the other away, a physical manifestation of the emotional game.

“So when do I get the shove off?” I asked nervously.

“I don't know,” he said. “I don't know how to handle it.”

“It?” I teased. “It?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he said. “I'm trying to be serious.” But he had a little smile.

“OK. Let's be serious,” I said, mimicking a serious face.

“Dude, there are so many reasons we can't be a couple, why we can't work,” he said. “First there's distance. I already tried that and failed miserably. Then there's the age. I mean, you're only 18. You're so fucking immature it's scary.” Now he was teasing me.

“You're right. All that 18-year-old guys want to do is fuck,” I said, reaching down and stroking him through his pants. “You old guys have a tough time keeping up with us.”

“So what do you want from me?” he demanded, frustrated.

“I want you to be my friend and my lover, and I'll do the same for you. But I don't want a commitment. I can't handle that, because I know I'll get horny and fuck someone, and then I'll feel guilty. And then you'll find out and it will hurt you. And that would kill me.”

“That's how it was with Brian,” he said sadly. It pissed me off that he even mentioned that fucker's name, much less put me in the same league with him.

“Well I'm not Brian.” My snippy response brought him back to reality.

“No, you're not,” he said. “But if I let myself, I could fall in love with you. Hard.” Only I saw the real truth in his eyes. He already had.

“How long?” I demanded.

“Eight inches,” he said playfully, making me laugh.

“You know what I mean,” I said.

“Since we got back from Palo Alto,” he said. God, no wonder he'd been so irritated with Alejandro. No wonder he'd rejected Brian. I'd hurt him. I didn't mean to, but I had. I felt my walls falling down, a combination of the emotions I felt for him, the guilt and compassion I felt for him for the pain I'd caused, and another one, another emotion so strong and scary it freaked me out.

He watched me, watched me freaking out, and saved me in the only way he could. He kissed me, a deep meaningful kiss, and then our clothes flew off and he was on top of me, his cock easing into me, while I wrapped my body around him, clinging to the same man who was drowning me, moaning incoherently as he made me feel things I'd never felt before, screaming madly as he brought us to orgasm. For the first time in my life, I'd made love to someone, and it was wonderful, incredible, amazing, all those adjectives and more.

“I do love you Matt Carrswold,” he said. “I really do.”

“You fucker,” I said, pretending to be pissed off. “I swore this wouldn't happen, that I wouldn't let you do this to me.”

“Do what?” he asked.

“Make me fall in love with you,” I said. He got a huge grin on his face. We took a shower together and made love again. It was satisfying like no other experience, and when I looked into the mirror, I looked radiant. I was glowing like some fucking chick. So was Cody.

We walked into the dining room together and got an odd look from Brad. “Uh oh,” he said.

“Fuck you,” I responded appropriately.

“What?” Robbie asked, clueless as ever.

“Someone is glowing,” Brad said. Stef giggled, while JP smiled indulgently.

“He's not the only one,” Robbie said.

“I knew we should have gone out,” I said to Cody.

“Your timing leaves a lot to be desired,” JP said logically. I desperately needed to change the subject. It was bad enough that I'd let these feelings invade and take over my body, even worse that we were talking about it at dinner.

“Jack called. They got the results of the tests back. There are three people who matched,” I said. “Sadly, you are not one of them,” I told Stef. “I was hoping that some of your amazing sexual expertise would also transplant.”

“I have taught you all you need to know,” Stef said, sounding like Yoda in that Star Wars movie.

“No more training do you require,” Cody said, doing a really good and hilarious Yoda impersonation. How weird that he could tell what I was thinking.

“So who matched?” asked Robbie.

“You, Frank, and Cody,” I said. We looked at each other then, no one knowing quite how to say the next part. Robbie could see that Cody and I were in love, and he knew what that meant. But I knew he wanted to do this for me. “It's not really my choice, the donor is the one who gets to make the call,” I said, trying to approach this diplomatically. “I'd be lucky to have any one of you offer to help me out. It's a huge sacrifice.”

Robbie just looked at me, knowing there was a big 'but' coming. “Any one of us would help you out, Matt,” he said.

“I'd like it to be you,” I said. I squeezed Cody's hand under the table and felt him squeeze back. Seeing Robbie, seeing him deal with it, it was clear how important this was to him.

“Cool,” Robbie said. “Tell me when.” I nodded. There was one more thing I had to do. I had to thank these people, to tell them what they meant to me.

“I leave for Palo Alto tomorrow,” I said. “I never, in a million years, would have thought I would be so sad to go. When I came out here, I was just some bratty, spoiled kid who had his world rocked. Finding out my kidneys were dying, finding out I was adopted...my whole world was crumbling around me. I figured I'd get out here and you'd all be civil to me at best. Well, everyone except JP and Stef. I knew they'd be nice to me.” Brad laughed and JP shook his head. “I thought I'd have to beg you for a kidney,” I said to Robbie. “I half-expected you'd want to keep me away from your family.” I felt tears running down my cheeks. “Instead, you all embraced me so quickly, pulled me in, made me part of your family, and showed me more love and warmth in this one month than I've felt in my entire life. I leave here feeling stable again, grounded. I don't know how to tell you how important that is to me, and I don't know how to thank you.”

Everyone was crying now, even Brad, which freaked me out a bit. But they all looked to JP, the family patriarch, and once again I felt like I was in a “Godfather” movie. He dabbed his eyes. “There is no gratitude required. You're an exceptional young man, and I know I speak for all of us when I tell you that we're proud to have you as a member of our family. The love you feel is genuine, and sincere.”

More tears, more hugs, this situation was way too maudlin. Time for some comic relief. “So Darius, now that I’ll be gone, maybe you've got a chance with Tiffany,” I teased.

“Like I want her,” he said arrogantly. “I've got all kinds of hot women at my beck and call.” Jeanine stared at him, shocked, and he seemed to realize what he'd said. I cracked up.

“Just don't talk to her while we're supposed to be skating like Matt does,” JJ said, a little petulantly.

After dinner, we went out to the deck with JP and smoked a joint with him, then headed up to bed. I was so fired up, so into Cody now, I couldn't wait. I stripped down and jumped on the bed on my stomach, my ass in the air, and looked back at him playfully. He laughed, and then rolled me over. Then he got serious.

“Let's do it the other way,” he said. He smiled at my confused look. “Make love to me.” Cody wanted me to top him?

“You sure? Dude, we don't have to do that. I love it when you make love to me.” I almost said fuck instead of 'make love'. Kudos to me for not fucking that up.

“I'm sure. I've done it before, but only with guys I really care about.” Then I got it. For him, this was like a promise ring or some other sign of commitment. He was giving me access to his most sensitive places, his ass and his heart. I pushed him onto his stomach and kissed him all over, working down to his gorgeous ass. Damn he was muscular. I dove in and rimmed him, probed him, loosened him up. He rolled over.

“I want to watch you,” he said. I sucked on his dick, while I grabbed for a condom. He stopped me. “No. Just you.”

Instead of freaking me out, the intensity of his mood, of his feelings, just fueled me on. I lubed him up well and lined my dick up to him. He'd been really tight, clearly he didn't bottom often, but when I pushed into him, he relaxed, letting me in. Like it was meant to be. I'd fucked lots of guys by now, but nothing like this. I moved in and out of him, varying my pace, and then pulled out, moving up to kiss him tenderly. Then I lined his cock up with my hole and let him fuck me. We did that for what seemed like hours, taking turns, laughing, kissing, and just enjoying each other. I remembered what Brad had said about making it last, and Cody knew that plan too, so we did, we made it last.

And then, finally, I could take no more. His dick was buried in my ass, and I knew I was close. So did he. He pulled out of me and sat on my cock, sending me over the edge, and letting my cum just flood his ass. It was amazing, the most amazing orgasm I'd ever had. I had to close my eyes, so intense was it, and I was surprised to feel something splattering all over my face. I opened my eyes to see Cody blowing all over me, spraying me with his own massive load.