Finding love - 9. Chapter 9

“What the fuck is your problem Nathan,” I was fuming.

“Boy’s what is going on,” Dad said as he entered the room. “Your mother is down the hall consoling Brody.”

“He and Nathan got into it and Brody slugged him,” I said while glaring at my brother, who was going to have quite the bruise.

“Nathan, care to explain yourself,” Mom said coming into the room.

“No,” Nathan replied barely above a whisper.

“You’ve been friends with Brody for years, your uncle is gay, I just don’t understand,” Mom said.

“Why didn’t he just tell me?” Brody said.

“Tell you what?” Dad asked.

“That he liked Matt. I’ve had a feeling for a while something was going on with him and I even asked about it but he shut me out.”

“So you resort to violence?” Dad was pacing around the room. “This is so unlike you.”

“Something else is going on here; do you love Brody?” Mom pointedly asked and I watched my brother blink several times with no response.

“I think we have our answer. This is going to be very interesting.” Dad said.

“I can’t believe you,” I snapped. “Giving me shit these all this time and when someone shows interest in me and you swoop in and try and take him.”

“It’s not like that at all,” Nathan whined.

“Oh sure, you’re better for him than me, right? I was in a coma and was hung up on my dead brother and here you come Mister All American, everyone’s wet dream. Everyone get out.”

“Mattie,” Mom started to say but I cut her off.

“I said everyone and that includes you.”

I pulled the covers over my head and began to sob. Nothing was ever easy for me; growing up in a house where everyone was athletic and musically talented but me I have some coordination issues and can’t play any sport and when I play music it is like nails on a chalk board. I cried myself to sleep racking my brain to find a way to solve this. Of course all decision are Brody choosing Nathan, why wouldn’t he.

The next morning, when visitor hours started I was a bit surprised when Uncle Ron walked into the room.

“How’s my favorite nephew,” he said with a smile.

“Been better,” I replied.

“Your father called me last night; he was very worried about you.”

“Dad always blows things out of proportion.”

“Does he? He told me how you kicked everyone out after Nathan silently admitted to being in love with Brody, when we all know Brody has eyes for you.”

“He’ll go with Nathan, he’s more of a catch.”

“I see; there is nothing wrong with you Mattie. You are just as much as a catch as your brothers.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my uncle.”

“No, Mattie I’m not. You are a very caring individual and you worry about making others happy before yourself. I’ve seen you change over the last several years and I know you’ve struggled.”

“Yeah, I struggled and no one was there to help me.”

“Not true. Your parents tried and you shut them out. Tony and I tried numerous times but we got the same treatment. I think that is why Nick and Nathan did nothing because you didn’t want any ones help. How much do you remember about when you were hospitalized after Noah died?”

“I just remember coming here and being in a room for a while then being moved to the psychiatry ward.”

“So, you don’t remember taking those pills?”

I sat and racked my brain and couldn’t figure out what he was talking about.

“No I don’t remember.”

“Well, apparently you came across some sleeping pills. You waited until everyone left for the day and you took an entire bottle and went to Noah’s bed. By sheer luck Nathan forgot his lacrosse stick and he and Brody came back for it. While Nathan was looking for it Brody wandered into Noah’s room since the door was open. He found you and the bottle on the bed. He screamed and Nathan came running to see what the commotion was about. While Nathan called 911, Brody’s first aid training kicked in and he made you vomit and boy did you. Tony and I arrived shortly after the ambulance did. Your mother was in Virginia stuck in traffic and your dad was on his way from a meeting in Annapolis. Brody and I rode with you in the ambulance and Tony stayed with Nathan and cleaned up after the investigation completed. The whole ride Brody kept telling you that it will be ok and you better not die because he loved you.”

“I don’t remember any of that.”

“Not surprising and the doctors were weary of us telling you. I’m telling you because I had a long talk with Brody while we waited for news about you. He basically poured his heart out to me in the waiting room. He told me how’s he loved you for a really long time and didn’t have the courage to tell you because he was scared about what others would think. He wanted to tell you numerous times during your recovery but he was told not to, the doctor’s didn’t want you to spiral. Brody spent a day with Tony and I and we talked about a lot of things, Nathan being one.”

“See Nathan came up.”

“I asked him about everything. He told me how they had played show mine if you show me yours and that morphed into mutal jacking off sessions. Brody wanted to do more but Nathan kind of pushed him away and that upset him. He told me that you were always nice to him and when it came to giving him birthday gifts you always seemed to know what he wanted or needed. He saw how your friends drifted away when you came out and he wanted to go and beat them up.”

“That explains why he always made a point to say hi to me in school and wasn’t afraid to be seen with me.”

“Yes. He was dealing with his feeling but it wasn’t until Noah confronted him about his intentions.”

“Noah confronted him? Asher had mentioned something about it.”

“Yes, he did. Noah was very protective of you. He was pretty sure you were gay and he talked with Tony and I about how to encourage you to be yourself. He didn’t want anyone taking advantage of you and when he noticed Brody taking more of an interest they talked.”

“Why does everyone seem to know things I don’t?”

“It’s all about perception and what people pick-up on. A gay man or a bisexual man may notice when other guys stare longer than others. Brody has dropped you many hints but my gosh Mattie, I was beginning to think he was going to have to take an add out in the Washington Post.”

We both laughed at that and it made me wonder what I was missing all around me.

“So what do I do Uncle Ron?”

“You need to talk to Brody and go from there.”

I talked with Uncle Ron about a lot of different things. He did encourage me to write more as he always liked my stories. He told me that he writes stories too but I can’t find out about them until I turn 18.

I was due to have a session with Liz this afternoon and we were going to have a lot to talk about. I was lost in my thoughts when the knock at the door startled me. I looked up to see Mark standing there.