CRYSTALLINE - 39. The Funeral

The funeral was held at the crematorium, officiated by a civil celebrant and Dante delivered a brief eulogy for his brother.

Jonathan covered the cost of a wake at Crystalline, held in the ballroom of the manor. It was a respectful but not sombre occasion. Dante had made it clear, he wanted to celebrate Patrick’s life, not mourn his loss.

The screen, last used to display the images of murder mystery writers and actors, showed images of Patrick throughout his life. These images were alternated with text messages from friends.

There were a few weepy moments, including a very drunk Carol, who held it together until one too many glasses of wine tipped her over the edge. The excessive drinking had been encouraged by Virginia but it was Cook who dealt with the tears after giving Virginia a look of disapproval.

Eventually Cook accompanied Carol to her room, settled her and returned to the gathering in search of Virginia.

<>

“Hello Des, do you know where that woman of yours is?”

“Not exactly sure...but my guess would be either with her Thomas, propping up the bar or flirting with the waiters by encouraging them to remove their shirts”

“Ah yes” agreed Cook “Must be a new experience for her, to be served by fully clothed waiters”

“I suppose we should be thankful she was not in charge of catering arrangements” Desmond concluded with a laugh.

“So how is married life, Des?” she asked

“Oh you know how it is” he replied

“Well, I knew how it was, pretty good for many years and then without any warning he ups and goes off with a woman young enough to be his daughter”

“Do you think it will last?”

“Not a snowflake’s chance in hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s finished already”

“You haven’t heard from him?”

“No... sometimes one gets a lucky break” she answered with a laugh “But you avoided my question when I asked how your married life was”

“Did I?”

“Yes Des and I know you only too well to know when you are avoiding the issue. We did both work together for many years”

“Are you close to Virginia?” Desmond asked

“Our relationship has been at best a professional employee, employer relationship”

“And at worst, dare I ask?

“Humph, after today’s irresponsible display of encouraging Carol to over imbibe, I’m spitten’ chips”

“In that case....” there was a long pause while Desmond considered if it was wise to confide in Cook. He eventually decided that as their status had been equal for so many years when he was Virginia’s driver, he could trust her and owed her an explanation.

“Cook, don’t get me wrong about what I am about to say, I still love Virginia as much as I did over twenty years ago, when we first fell in love, but....” then another long pause.

“Yes Des, but what?” prompted Cook.

“I’m finding in difficult to adjust to married life with Virginia. Somehow the reality of our relationship falls short of the fantasy I lived in my mind all those years when I was alone in my little flat above the garage and she was living the high life in the big house”

“It’s not unexpected Des, that the reality of marriage can be a letdown. But what is it in particular that bothers you?”

“In short I’m a kept man. I don’t earn my own living and am totally dependent on Virginia’s money”

“You know Des, some men would see that as an advantage, being kept, as you say. Besides Virginia would spend her money on some man or men, so why not you. Look at it this way, with her money she could have any young stud, and has in the past, but she has chosen to spend her life and Jonathan’s money on you. Why do you think that is?”

“Sometimes I ask myself the same question”

“Have you ever considered the answer is...she loves you?”

“I have no doubt about that, but she smothers me, doesn’t allow me any free time that she hasn’t organised and I am rarely allowed to make decisions. And on top of that she still has an eye for the young men, just look at her over there, practically molesting that waiter”

“I see what you mean, but does it go any further than that?”

“I don’t think so, we’re rarely apart long enough for that. My life seems to be completely controlled. You know when she bought the place in Mallacoota, I was excited because I thought we would move there and I would start a little plumbing business, and as I got older, maybe even a plumbing supplies store. If we had done that I would feel I was contributing to our marriage. But of course fate or fire changed those plans. We only see her friends and even though she insists I be there, I’m usually left out of the conversation, or at least can’t join in. Sometimes I’m relegated to the job of bar tender, as if I was still her servant”

“I’m sorry to hear that Des, I really hoped married life would be kinder to you, especially after waiting all those years”

“Well I’ve made my bed, as they say. But enough about me, you were looking for Virginia there’s your chance” he replied as he pointed across the room.

“Ah yes, there she is still chatting up a waiter, of course” observed Cook “I do need to have a stern word or two with her”

<>

“No! I will not accept champagne in that skinny glass. Any good bartender should know champagne should always be served in a coupe. The standards here have certainly dropped since I left” Virginia chastised the waiter.

“Sorry Madam, I’ll see what I can do”

As the waiter walk away, Virginia watched his butt all the way to the bar, and was then approached by Cook. “I’ve been looking for you Mrs P”

“Well now you’ve found me, what can I do for you” replied Virginia, curtly as she was still bristling from the Cook leer she’d had been given a little earlier.

“I want to tell you that aiding and abetting Carol’s intoxication was not the best thing for her today. She can be a maudlin drunk at times, so on the occasion of the funeral of her boyfriend she needed to be treated with more care and understanding. Practically pouring alcohol down her throat was ill-advised at the best and possibly downright dangerous”

“You can’t speak to me like that” replied Virginia.

“Now that I no longer work for you, I feel free to say what I want and you’ll just have to suck it up”

“But...but...”

“No buts madam, that’s how it is. You left this household without so much as a thank you to the staff. Furthermore Carol has always been a vulnerable young woman who needed guidance and to some extent protection. Without a mother around I stepped into that role and am pleased to say she has blossomed into a responsible maturing woman. Under the circumstances she was coping well today. That is until your meddling”

“May I speak now, hired help?”

“Say your piece, control freak”

“I always regarded the staff here as family and as such was trying to support Carol, by just jollying her along with a few drinks to ease the pain, she must be feeling”

“Hiding the pain with alcohol is not the same. She will probably feel worse tomorrow when she wakes up with a hangover on top of mourning her lover. Did you think of that? What she needs now is genuine emotional support, not more brain numbing alcohol”

“You have certainly worked your way up in the household from cook to self-appointed housemother”

“For your information, I am still the cook, although I have some help now as well as training new staff. Carol is also training new staff for housekeeping duties. We have all done very well since you left”

“Yes training new staff that I supplied for you” retorted Virginia.

“You supplied, that’s a laugh. You find a few unfortunates at a soup kitchen, Thomas and Lachlan interview them and we train them for a better future, now you want to take the credit. That’s rich, and so are you after the inevitable divorce. Did quite well for yourself after dumping your husband and running off with, hired help, I do believe he was. Must be quite a comedown from all those exotic studs you bedded over the years. But of course, they were only hired help also, weren’t they?”

“I’m not going to stand here and be insulted by the likes of you”

“You could sit if you like, while I tell you some home truths”

“Oh very droll, is that the best you’ve got? And while we’re on the subject of ex-husbands, whatever happened to yours....Oh now I remember, he ran off with the red-headed hired help, didn’t he, and left you without a penny. Is that what all this is about?” accused Virginia

“This is about caring for those around you”

“Are you suggesting I don’t care about the people in this house?”

“Yes” replied Cook

“Then let me tell you a few facts madam. But before that I will apologise for my misjudgement today, in encouraging Carol’s drinking. However, as usual I only had her best interests at heart. I have always cared for the people in this household, especially Carol, because I encouraged her to come and work here and knew she was inexperienced in life matters, but she hadn’t been here long when I saw you take her under your wing. I was even a little jealous at the time, as she seemed to turn to you for help, instead of me. But I let it be, because Carol’s welfare was more important than any motherly instincts I might have been feeling.

As you know, Jonathan and I were never blessed with children and we had our other problems, that I’m sure you are familiar with. I think having no children to raise and spoil left a hole in our relationship and I tried to compensate in some way by seeing the staff as extended family. But it seems I failed miserably, judging by your outburst today. It seems my legacy around here is not what I thought it should be. I am clearly not seen as the benevolent mother figure I thought I was. So I apologise for that also. My dear Cook, it seems we have completely misjudged each other and I would not like us to be enemies, whether real or perceived. Oh and one more thing, utmost apologies for the crack about hired help. I have never seen you as just that”

“Thank you for all that. Perhaps I was overreacting a little, but like a real mother, I am protective of my adopted children, especially Carol as present. I’ll tell you something, if you like we could share the mothering of Carol” Cook took Virginia by the hands and waited for a reply.

“C c c Cook...” A choked up Virginia stuttered “...I would truly like that”

“So would I...truce?”

“Truce, peace, whatever it takes. Now at the risk of being accused of encouraging your alcoholism, can I get you a drink?” asked Virginia.

“I’ll risk it”

“Good, then come with me to the bar, I want to prove something”

<>

“Bartender” Virginia addressed “Would you please pour three glasses of champagne for my friend and I”

“Three for just the two of you?”

“Yes, young man, two in coupe glasses for us to enjoy and one in that skinny flute glass, for a test comparison. Oh, they must be from a freshly opened bottle”

“Coming right up Madam, and may I ask if you would explain to me why the test of the different glasses?”

“Glad to oblige and happy that you want to learn, young man. I suppose you were taught to serve champagne in flutes because the narrow opening keeps the bubbles in the wine longer, and some say looks prettier rising up the narrow glass”

“That’s pretty much it, Madam”

“Well in a time, long long ago, probably before you were born, we only drank champagne from coupes. Don’t believe all that piffle about the glass being the shape of some woman’s breast. The glass is that shape because the wine has to interact with the air to bring out the true flavour. It’s not just about the bubbles. Although a lot of the sparkly things they serve these days probably taste just as bad in either glass, as it’s not real champagne. Hopefully there are still some coupes behind the bar somewhere”

“Oh yes Madam, we still use them for Margaritas”

“Thank heavens for small mercies, hey Cook?”

“Well said Mrs P”

“About that, as long as I’ve shared my champagne secrets with you, I think you should call me Virginia”

“Thank you”

“Now while we wait for our drinks, tell me all about this new man of yours”

“How do you know about him?” asked Cook

“Mmm, I still have my spies in the house”

“Oh, perhaps I should be careful”

“Too late for that, ol’ girl; you know there are no secrets around here” and they both laughed. “Tell me is he devilishly handsome?”

“Some say he is. In fact, on first meeting, Carol described him as, what was it...yes, old movie star looks”

“He sounds worthy of a toast” Virginia said as the drinks were put before them. “Here’s to love and lot’s of sex”

“Now you’re being naughty”

“I thought I always was” she replied with a girlish giggle, “Drink up, Jonathan’s paying so get it while you can. Now let’s start with your movie star’s name”

“Axel, he’s of German decent and certainly has the old world European looks. Not classic pretty boy, more rugged and worldly”

“I like him already”

“You already have a man, greedy woman”

“No, no, not like that. I just want to share your joy, that’s all. So is he good in bed?”

“In bed, in the pool, in borrowed houses, in the mountains, oh my god I can’t tell you how randy he is”

Virginia swallowed, and set down her glass before she spilled in. “Really, now this is what I like to hear. Tell me all the juicy details”

“Juicy’s exactly the right word. You wouldn’t believe what he does with mangoes”

“Try me”

***