CRYSTALLINE - 37. Sanity?

Fraser observed the lock-up officer talking to Giles and assumed it was some complaint from their prisoner. When the officer left, Giles went to Fraser and said “Smith wants to make a confession”

“Well about bloody time. I knew allowing him to cool his heels in the lock-up overnight, would bring him to his senses”

“But Frase....”

“No buts, just go and organise the interview room and make sure all the recording equipment is working properly, I don’t want to miss a word of this and I want it all on the record. Not going to give him a chance to say he was verballed”

“Frase, listen to me” said Giles

“Why are you still here?”

“Because I’m trying to tell you Smith doesn’t want to confess to you”

“Who then, does he think a woman will make it easier for him?”

“No, he wants to confess to a priest”

“Oh, maybe that’s not so bad. After Smith confesses then we grill the priest”

Connor then said “But a priest is bound by the seal of the confessional”

“Not when I’m finished with him he won’t be”

“Connors right” added Giles “Priest have been held in contempt of court for refusing to divulge confessions, but they didn’t break their silence. Even if they did it would not stand up in court as a confession. At best, it’s hearsay evidence”

“I suppose you’re right Giles” he then looked at Connor and asked “Connor O’Connor, with a name like that you must be a Catholic”
“Sort of”

“That’s hardly an affirmation of faith. Tell me, were you baptised?”

“Yes”

“And did you go to Catholic school”

“Yes, but why?”

“So you would know all about that Catholic rigmarole”

“If you mean the sacraments, then yes, some”

“How do you look in black, is it your colour?”

“Why...now hang on a bit, I’m not doing that, it wouldn’t be moral and probably illegal”

“So now you’re the good Catholic boy”

“Yes...I mean no...that is not exactly. I’m not sure I’m any kind of Catholic, apart from lapsed”

“Well I can’t do it, he knows me and Giles here’s the wrong sex. Hey, can nuns hear confession?”

“No Frase and neither am I or you going to do it”

“Damn! Ok, get the police chaplain down here to sort this”

“That won’t work either. He wants his own parish priest”

“Ok, ok whatever he wants. Looks like he’s running this station now, not me it seems”

***

“Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last....”

“Yes, I know all that just get on with it, I’m a busy man” demanded Father Brendan Murphy.

“Right...yes...on with it. Well, as I told you before I was locked away for five years for just looking at some pictures and some teenagers doin’ it. What’s the harm in that?”

“Apart from any legal ramifications, you were encouraging them to engage in an immoral act. But that’s not what you’re here for, is it?”

“No, I want to confess my latest sin”

“I’m all ears Rodney”

“Thank you father, I won’t waste any more of your time. When I was in the nick...that’s prison talk for...well, prison”

“I gathered that, I watch a lot of TV when I’m not listening to confessions”

“Oh that’s interesting, what’s your favourite, mine’s Midsomer Murders and Oz is my all time fave prison series, what’s yours? No don’t tell me, it’s Father Brown”

“Rodney Smith, we are not here to review TV shows”

“No, of course not, now where was I?”

“Right at the beginning I think”

“Well, while I was in the slammer...that’s...”

“I know what that is. For Christ’s sake get on with it”

“Yes, of course... for Christ’s sake?...should you say that?”

“It’s ok for a priest to say it”

“Oh I see, because he’s your boss, isn’t he?”

“Something like that. Now are you going to confess your sins or not?”

“Of course Father, I didn’t call you here for the coffee, it’s shit anyway. Oops is it a sin to say that?”

“I forgive you, my son. Is that it?”

“No I haven’t even started yet”

“I did rather get that feeling, so...”

“So, what?”

“So, tell me your sins, NOW!”

“Don’t yell at me please, I don’t like it. Makes me feel like I’m back in prison”

Murphy looked around the room and then gave Smith an inquisitive stare.

Smith laughed and added “Oh that’s a good one Father, got me there. If you promise not to yell at me anymore, I’ll continue”

“I’ll be as quiet as a mouse Rodney”

“Is that a church mouse?” he asked and giggled

“Whatever!”

“Now as I was saying before I was interrupted...” he said indignantly, but Murphy didn’t bite, “...when I was in the slammer I tried to find the person who got me in all that trouble, but no matter who I asked and how many favours I did, none of the snitches could find where he was. It was like he disappeared off the face of the earth. But I doubt that would be, because if he left this earth it would mean he went to...well he wouldn’t go to heaven, would he, must be in hell”

“We don’t teach about hell anymore, my son”

“Oh really? Anyway, as I was saying, I wanted to get even with that man. I was going to do him in, proper like. You know what I mean?”

Murphy refrained from giving an opinion.

“So when I got out, two years early I might add, because I was very good while in prison. Either that or they just wanted to get rid of me”

Murphy wasn’t game enough to open his mouth but definitely processed the thought ‘I can believe that’.

“So when I got out, I didn’t know how to find him so I just tried to forget about it. Then one day I ran into an old cellmate and he asked me if I’d cut the bastard’s throat yet. When I told him I couldn’t find him, he said he had a mate who might be able to help, if I could throw a few dollars his way. Anyway, long story short...”

‘Oh thank you God’ thought Murphy.

“...his mate got the bastard’s address from the driver’s licensing records. Funny thing was, the licence had expired, so I thought maybe he is in prison somewhere else. Anyway, when I went to the address, he didn’t live there anymore. So that meant he had moved, but the people didn’t know him, or, as I said he was still in prison...or...he was dead. That would be a bugger, I thought, because I wanted to do him in personally. Then I thought, if he’s in hell then that’s almost as good. But now you’ve got me worried, if there’s no hell anymore, where is he?”

“Hell is no longer considered a place, but a state of definitive self-exclusion from communion with God" Murphy explained.

Smith gave his priest a confused puppy-dog look. When Murphy offered no further explanation, Smith continued “Anyway, it was then I gave up and tried to console myself that God had done it for me”

“Wishing someone dead, isn’t really a sin Rodney. Most people rarely carry through with wishes like that”

“I beg to differ there, Father. A sin can be by thought, word, deed or omission. Is that not so?”

“Yes, I stand corrected, so in the name of the father and of the son and the Holy Ghost I absolve thee of thy sin. Make a solemn promise to God not to too it again, say three Hail Mary’s and.....”

“No, no, no”

“Surely you can manage three Hail Mary’s”

“It’s not that. I haven’t confessed my mortal sin yet”

“I was afraid of that. Go ahead then”

“Anyway, as I was saying. What was I saying?”

“You got up to the part where you thought God took this man”

“Did I say that?”

“Words to that effect”

“Well let’s not worry about that now. I want to tell you about the job I got when I got out. When you’re in the clink...” When Smith paused, Murphy put up a stop hand. “...you know that one, good. When you’re inside you learn a lot about self defence, for obvious reasons, and they have great body building equipment so you can build up muscle. Wanna see my muscles?” He asked, as he started to roll up his shirt sleeve.

“No thanks, just get on with the sins”

“Oh, there’s only one”

“I stand corrected again, please confess your sin”

Totally ignoring Murphy’s request, Smith continued “So because I was strong when I came out and could look after myself in a scuffle, they gave me a job as an orderly at the nut house”

“I think we refer to them as psychiatric care centres now”

“Yeah that ‘n all. So here I am workin’ at the...what you said...and I meet this woman. A patient she was, but sharp as a knife on a good day. I wasn’t rostered on her ward, but on graveyard shift, nobody really cares where ya go as long as the loonies are quiet. Funny thing Father, this woman could be a raving loon some days but when I went into her room at night she was always quiet. They say some women are real screamers, know what I mean?”

Murphy had no idea, but nodded to save any further explanation.

“I think what she really needed was to feel she was a real woman. Know what I mean” Smith added with a wink. “I could explain if you want”

This time Murphy did understand, but just smiled his way out of an embarrassing explanation.

“After the deed was done, we used to lie there in the afterglow. You wouldn’t know what that is, would ya Father?”

This was dilemma time for Murphy. A yes, or even a smile might give the wrong impression. A no, might elicit a long and unwanted explanation, so he tried a non-committal single nod, and got away with it.

“So in our afterglow moments she used to talk to me as sanely as we are now”

The word sane, grated in relation to the current conversation.

“She talked about her family one night. She was married and had two sons. She said she had no contact with her family since she was admitted. It took a few nights before she told me her husband was dead and that’s where her story got confusing. At first she told me he suicided, then on another occasion she said her sons killed him and even on another night she said she killed him. You don’t suppose she had three husbands and each one got bumped off?”

Murphy refrained from being drawn in, so Smith continued “But whatever happened, it seemed the one I wanted was dead and that’s probably why I couldn’t find him in any gaol or at his last address. I was also very pissed off that he was already dead, because I wanted to be the one to punish him for what he did to me. That’s only fair, isn’t it Father?”

“I’ll reserve judgement on that, but did he abuse you when you were younger?”

“No, I didn’t even know him till about ten years ago. We met online through a sex club that shared pics and videos of young men and later we met personally when he started making his own sons available for live shows”

“But if you participated in these online and live shows willingly, why do you blame him?”

“Because he told me, as long as I didn’t touch the boys, I wasn’t committing a crime and I wouldn’t be in trouble. But it turns out he lied and I was arrested and was locked up for five years. So when I found out he was dead I decided to take out my kind of justice on his sons. They were as guilty as him, after all they were the ones doing the sex acts, but I was punished for just watching. I asked her about her sons, but she said she didn’t know where they were and didn’t care, she didn’t want to see them again”

Smith paused for a few moments, then continued “One day I was tidying her room, while she was at her therapy group. She was a particularly messy woman, no idea at all about housekeeping. Anyway, I was putting some stuff in her drawers and found a bundle of unopened letters. They had different return addresses, even a couple from Italy, but were all from the same person. Someone named Patrick, so the next time we were talking in our afterglow...oh I so love that feeling when you lie there totally exhausted but all warm and fuzzy feeling. You should try it Father. Oops sorry, I didn’t mean...well you know what I mean don’t you?”

“Yes, thank you”

“You know it’s almost as good when you wank. Is it a sin for a priest to wank? I’ve never been too sure about that, can you tell me?”

“Let’s leave that for now and continue telling me about your conversation with this woman”

“Yes, of course...you get me sidetracked so easily Father. That’s very naughty of you to do that”

“My sin, sorry”

“Yes, no, no, I didn’t mean you made a sin, I just meant...”

“I know what you mean, please continue with the story”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to think I accused you of a sin, or bugger, even worse, that I made you commit a sin”

“I’m sure nothing like that happened”

“Oh that’s such a relief. I wouldn’t want to aid and abet a Priest into sinning. That would be the worst sin of all, wouldn’t it?”

“It would be up there. Now please continue, I’m overdue at the nursing home and wouldn’t want some of my flock to be due for last rights, when I’m really going there for a pastoral chat”

“I shall continue without delay Father. I was asking her about her son..... What do you mean due for last rights?”

“It was an inappropriate joke my son, please forgive me”

“I don’t think I can do that, you’d have to confess to another priest, I’m sure of that”

“Yes, you are right of course. I shall do that later. Now about her son”

“Yes, that...I asked her the names of her sons. Funny thing was, she’d had never mentioned their names before. Turns out Patrick was one of her sons, so I got the address from the letter with the last postal date and went there. At first I couldn’t understand how he could afford to live in a huge mansion that must be worth squillions. Then I saw a sign that said ‘Guest Entrance at Next Gate’. I went down the road and it was the entrance to a Resort. So I went home, looked it up on the internet and made a booking, so I could get inside and have access. I knew his name but didn’t know how he was connected to the resort. When I arrived they asked me if I wanted to join the Murder Mystery Game the next night, so I said yes I’d love to. I love a good murder, don’t you Father?”

“Depends”

“On what?”

“Whether it is real or just fiction”

“Oh, I see, good point. I like fiction as much as the next man, but was really looking forward to my first real murder. Know what I mean? Anyway, I spent the whole day walking around the whole place looking at all the staff name tags to see if I could find Patrick. By mid-afternoon I was hot and tired so I thought I would take a break from my snooping and have a swim. It was then I found him at the pool when he handed me a towel. Turns out he was the lifeguard”

Smith paused again and Murphy asked “Do you want some water?”

“No, I never drink water. Do you know fish fuck in water?”

Murphy smiled weakly, then Smith continued “I took the towel but just spread it out on a sun chair and watched Patrick go about his work, trying to work out the best way of doing him in. I didn’t have any weapons with me so I thought I would have to make a good plan and come back another time to do the deed. I didn’t really want to play their murder game, I was more interested in the real thing, but not that night. I would do it later when I could call the shots. I attended the dinner, not bad grub really, you should try it sometine.... But back to my story, then when they all went to another building for their game I just wandered about the place trying to work out how I could move about at night without being seen. The only cameras I could see were at the pool so I decided that would not be a good place to kill him, but there were plenty of other places where one could not be seen. I could see two cameras, one at each end of the pool, so I worked out the spots that were out of the range of the cameras. While I was doing that I saw an Asian guy lighting candles around the pool and then my target came down to talk to the candle lighter and they seemed to be having an argument. I couldn’t hear them clearly, but it sounded like some sort affair was going on. That’s a really terrible thing, isn’t it Father?”

“What is?” asked a distracted Murphy.

“Having an affair. Not really fair is it? That doesn’t sound right, an unfair affair. Silly language English, with so many words sounding the same”

“You are right there. Breaking the oath of the sacrament of Marriage is a serious sin”

“I knew it, but I’m not really sure who was having the affair or even f they were married”

“Maybe we could skip that bit and just get on with what happened next”

“Anyway, next thing the scumbag hits the Asian and it was on for young and old. So the Asian pins him to the ground, with one move. Smart fellas those Asians when it come to fancy moves. Marital arts they call it, don’t they?”

“Something like that” Murphy replied, not wanting to contradict a clearly disturbed member of his flock.

“There were a few words and then the Asian let him up and left. It was then something fortunate happened, this Patrick went into a shed and the lights went out. When I looked up at the lights, I noticed the little red lights on the cameras had also gone out. At first I thought it was a general power failure, but noticed all the lights in the buildings seemed to be on, so he must have turned off something in the little shed. This was confirmed when he came out, looked at the outed lights, but did not seem surprised.

I was in a position where I could not be seen by him, so I watched for a while longer and he just seemed to be wandering around the pool with nothing in particular to do”

Murphy then asked “I don’t know about you, but I need a break and a drink. Heeding your advice about water, I’m going for a coffee instead, can I get you one”

“That would be lovely, thanks Father”

*****