Translation Trashbin - 42. leib eigen & fremd

So if the English 101 professor had pointed to me for a reaction, I would say:  The words paint a picture of anxiety and insecurity.  I'm reminded of wandering through a known-by-osmosis, wooded hangout where everyone is a stranger trying to connect with other strangers with whom they will probably not again connect.

1 hour ago, Backwoods Boy said:

So if the English 101 professor had pointed to me for a reaction, I would say:  The words paint a picture of anxiety and insecurity.  I'm reminded of wandering through a known-by-osmosis, wooded hangout where everyone is a stranger trying to connect with other strangers with whom they will probably not again connect.

Thanks, Jon. Lanzendörfer was an East German, trying to navigate genuine interpersonal relationships in an environment where any of the people/person(s) you fall for could be an agent of the government (most likely by blackmail). It's hopeless therefore, the State asserted, to even try and be anything but a good little Party cog in the system. For a visual artist and poet like Lanzendörfer, this became more and more difficult to reconcile.

This man's work really touches me deeply  

1 hour ago, AC Benus said:

Thanks, Jon. Lanzendörfer was an East German, trying to navigate genuine interpersonal relationships in an environment where any of the people/person(s) you fall for could be an agent of the government (most likely by blackmail). It's hopeless therefore, the State asserted, to even try and be anything but a good little Party cog in the system. For a visual artist and poet like Lanzendörfer, this became more and more difficult to reconcile.

This man's work really touches me deeply  

Thanks for the additional details, which add dimension to the work.  Though the reality is still several orders of magnitude more serious, I would add that my commentary was based on observations in a small, conservative city where the stranger could well be an undercover cop.  

Given the actual scenario, I'm reminded of a book I just finished - an authorized James Bond novel written recently by Anthony Horowitz.  Set in a divided Berlin, it predates Lanzendörfer and has nothing to do with forbidden relationships, but definitely paints the dark, big-brother-is-watching background.

I was all asea in English 101, but I’d agree with @Backwoods Boy that anxiety and fear seem to color this poem most. Your added information helps make that case too: how could Lanzendorfer trust anyone? 

On 3/19/2023 at 7:10 PM, Parker Owens said:

I was all asea in English 101, but I’d agree with @Backwoods Boy that anxiety and fear seem to color this poem most. Your added information helps make that case too: how could Lanzendorfer trust anyone? 

Thanks for reading and commenting, my friend. I have much to dig into in Lanzendorfer's work. He moves me, plain and simple. I can't explain how or why, but he does.

Thanks again

On 3/19/2023 at 11:18 AM, Backwoods Boy said:

So if the English 101 professor had pointed to me for a reaction, I would say:  The words paint a picture of anxiety and insecurity.  I'm reminded of wandering through a known-by-osmosis, wooded hangout where everyone is a stranger trying to connect with other strangers with whom they will probably not again connect.

Further thoughts: This is a brilliant summary of the feelings the reader is supposed to feel, I think. And the poet would probably smile (in a dark way) to know his message of hopelessness comes through so well

The impression I had before reading the comments remains.  The person featured in the poem has found no one who can really relate to him.  This causes a lack of trust.  The extra details provided make this clear as to the major reasons for this.

To a lesser extent, this mirrors my inner feels as a bisexual man growing up in a rural area which is (still) mostly quite redneck.  I had been a legal adult for quite a few years before I discovered a very few guys who felt as I did, and to whom I could share my inner feelings without censure from them, and they could share with me.

A poem with deep and almost desperate feelings of caution which has developed almost into paranoia, with good reason.

35 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

The impression I had before reading the comments remains.  The person featured in the poem has found no one who can really relate to him.  This causes a lack of trust.  The extra details provided make this clear as to the major reasons for this.

To a lesser extent, this mirrors my inner feels as a bisexual man growing up in a rural area which is (still) mostly quite redneck.  I had been a legal adult for quite a few years before I discovered a very few guys who felt as I did, and to whom I could share my inner feelings without censure from them, and they could share with me.

A poem with deep and almost desperate feelings of caution which has developed almost into paranoia, with good reason.

Thanks for reading this again, ReaderPaul. I feel a nearly indescribable connection with Lanzendörfer and his work. It's deep and truly beyond reach by logical analysis, and I only feel this way about a tiny handful of poets. I don't honestly know what his orientation was, for he never seemed to form "romantic" connections with anyone, but I don't know. 

"leib eigen & fremd" is an excerpt from a much longer poem, and I will eventually make my way though it, and all of this poet's work