Jump to content
  • Join Gay Authors

    Join us for free and follow your favorite authors and stories.

    AC Benus
  • Author
  • 290 Words
  • 1,440 Views
  • 12 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Translation Trashbin - 15. David und Jonathan (1)

Else wrote two poems on the scene mentioned in the Book of Samuel about David and Jonathan's parting. This is out in the wilderness, where Jonathan had taken his love once he discovered his father, the king, had hired assassins to kill David in the palace because of their relationship. Neither man knew if they'd ever see each other again.

Here is the first one she wrote.

 

------------------

 

David und Jonathan (1)

von Else Lasker-Schüler

 

 

In der Bibel stehn wir geschrieben

Buntumschlungen.

 

Aber unsere Knabenspiele

Leben weiter im Stern.

 

Ich bin David,

Du mein Spielgefährte.

 

O, wir färbten

Unsere weißen Widderherzen rot!

 

Wie die Knospen an den Liebespsalmen

Unter Feiertagshimmel.

 

Deine Abschiedsaugen aber –

Immer nimmst du still im Kusse Abschied.

 

Und was soll dein Herz

Noch ohne meines –

 

Deine Süßnacht

Ohne meine Lieder.

 

------------------

 

David and Jonathan (1)

by Else Lasker-Schüler

 

 

In holy writ, we have a place to glow

Ever colorfully enmeshed.

 

And the games of boys we played as young men

Entwine to shine on in the Star.

 

For my name’s David, and you are my prince,

The soulmates of one another.

 

And oh, how we did color our white rams

When we saw the red of their hearts;

 

For how like the blossoms of a love song

They seemed beneath a vibrant sky.

 

But the good omen fades in your fare-well eyes –

You take my parting kiss silently.

 

So what then of our two hearts together

If you take my half and depart –

 

My songs are left to trail behind

Into your sweet edge of twilight.

 

 

_

As always, my thanks go to @Lyssa for deepening my knowledge of German poetry and mentoring my translations. Muah
Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 1
  • Love 7
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this story. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new chapters.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

On 7/21/2018 at 7:55 PM, MichaelS36 said:

Isn't it everything?  Love? What are we without it? And so often we are devoid of it. Why? Because we reach, and grasp for what isn't important. When all I need to get me through any hardship is your hand.

 

A beautiful translation. 

This is a beautifully poetic response, and I really appreciate it. You have also spoken very true, Mike. 

Else as a poet was fascinated by the tenderness of men in love and she often wrote about it (lucky us). Thanks for reading and commenting :) 

Edited by AC Benus
  • Like 1
  • Love 3
On 7/21/2018 at 7:23 PM, Parker Owens said:

This poem reminds me why it is important to read scripture carefully, in context, and with an open heart. And it tells me how much we miss when we fail to understand the centrality of love we find there. 

 

Thank you very much for this. 

 

You've read my sacred motet about David and Jonathan, and it's "sacred" because every word in it is direct from the bible. This parting scene was a very special moment, as Samuel says it was then God blessed their union and promised their joined households would rule the Jewish people. This union -- think of it as one triangle for David and one for Jonathan -- is the origin of the Star of David symbol, which Else speaks about often in her poetry. 

Thanks for reading and commenting, Parker. Muah 

 

Edited by AC Benus
  • Like 4
  • Love 1
5 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

This a a beautifully poetic response, and I really appreciate it. You have also spoken very true, Mike. 

 

Else as a poet was fascinated by the tenderness of men in love and she often wrote about it (lucky us). Thanks for reading and commenting :) 

You also write about it. Because we are tender, we do feel deeply contrary to popular belief, and I'm tired, AC. So very very tired of being told that we are are not. That we are dicks capable only of the basest of feeling and desire.

I just finished reading in a forum, by a real gay man, because apparently I am not, that to be gay, I had better get a gay gym membership. Crap!

 

This poem is beautiful. ..perhaps some more on here should read it! 

 

  • Like 3
  • Love 2
On 7/21/2018 at 8:26 PM, MichaelS36 said:

You also write about it. Because we are tender, we do feel deeply contrary to popular belief, and I'm tired, AC. So very very tired of being told that we are are not. That we are dicks capable only of the basest of feeling and desire.

I just finished reading in a forum, by a real gay man, because apparently I am not, that to be gay, I had better get a gay gym membership. Crap!

 

This poem is beautiful. ..perhaps some more on here should read it! 

 

I shouldn't speak out of turn, but in my opinion, Gay men who hold little opinions of what 'gays' are like are just aping the discrimination they were exposed to from broader society. Not to stand behind each other and say this or that is a label while thinking of themselves as superior to 'the gays' is beyond messed up. 

Gay people fought all around the world for the right these politically ignorants enjoy not to stand up proudly and be counted as one of them. For shame, says I :yes: But I will keep my nose out of their doings for my own sanity. 

Thanks again, Mike. 

 

 

Edited by AC Benus
  • Like 2
  • Love 2
On 7/25/2018 at 12:33 AM, Zenobia said:

This is really stunning - and I deeply admire your translation skills.

But I'm curious: Why would you call your collection "Translation Trashbin"???

 

And as it's called "David and Jonathan (1)", I suppose there will be a part (2)?

Lasker-Schüler's David und Jonathan (2) is a much more elaborate poem, but it focuses on the same scene as this one. I was going to post them together, but it's nicer when the original poem gets some breathing room. The second one overpowers it in a way.

As for why Trashbin, it's just that with translations, they never seem definitive (at least to me). Each time a really good original poem is considered, subtle nuances can come to the fore. It's one of the joys of reading any poem, I guess. But I never see my translations as being set in stone. For example, take my attempts at  "Il pleure dans mon cœur." One translation I did long ago seemed lacking when I reviewed it recently, and that resulted in two more attempts at doing it in English. Arguably, the one where I'm least faithful to the original is the one that best captures the soul of the poem. So, it's always tricky.

One reader suggested in a comment that recycle bin might be more appropriate, but your earlier praise of treasure chest suits my tastes too :)

   

Thank you, Zenobia!

Edited by AC Benus
  • Like 2
  • Love 1
28 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

As for why Trashbin, it's just that with translations, they never seem definitive (at least to me). Each time a really good original poem is considered, subtle nuances can come to the fore. It's one of the joys of reading any poem, I guess. But I never see my translations as being set in stone. For example, take my attempts at  "Il pleure dans mon cœur." One translation I did long ago seemed lacking when I reviewed it recently, and that resulted in two more attempts at doing it in English. Arguably, the one where I'm least faithful to the original is the one that best captures the soul of the poem. So, it's always tricky.

 

One reader suggested in a comment that recycle bin might be more appropriate, but your earlier praise of treasure chest suits my tastes too :)

   

Thank you, Zenobia!

I see... I guess one should even add that no translation should ever be set in stone because the original will always stay just as it is. That's why it's important to learn languages (or at least to understand that it's important), and each new era in history generates people who bring other nuances of a text to the fore, depending on where they are coming from.

I still think Trashbin sounds a bit harsh but I understand what you're saying.

It's a question of balance, I guess, and I remember a yoga lesson where I asked the teacher to show some easy balance asanas; he said that if they were easy to do, they wouldn't be balance asanas anymore. So perhaps any poem requires an act of balance from the reader (which nuance is dominating/the most important?, what is the main message/purpose of the poem?, and many other questions), and all the more so from the translator of a poem because he has to find a balance between form and content :)

(A yoga emoji would definitely be nice, hm, and :rolleyes: is now a reaction to my thought of a yoga emoji...)

 

  • Like 2
On 7/22/2018 at 12:26 AM, AC Benus said:

I shouldn't speak out of turn, but in my opinion, Gay men who hold little opinions of what 'gays' are like are just aping the discrimination they were exposed to from broader society. Not to stand behind each other and say this or that is a label while thinking of themselves as superior to 'the gays' is beyond messed up. 

 

Gay men and women fought all around the world for the right these politically ignorants enjoy not to stand up proudly and be counted as one of them. For shame, says I :yes: But I will keep my nose out of their doings for my own sanity. 

 

Thanks again, Mike. 

 

 

I understand. It frustrates me, as we of all people should be accepting of our choices and uniqueness.  

  • Like 2
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...