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    Lux Apollo
  • Lux Apollo
  • Author
  • 10/19/2016
  • 308 Words
  • 581 Views
  • 6 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental. Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Lux's Indulgences - 7. Fault

I can’t win, can I?

 

Even when I try

I can’t seem to make

Things work

When you are weak

 

I try to be considerate

To keep the noise down

I try to distract the cat

And let you settle into sleep

 

But you are so, so sensitive

Even the slightest sound

And you awaken

Ready to meltdown

 

In frustrated tears

And anger

 

When will the dam finally breach?

When will I take a step too far

Or one not nearly far enough

For this shared existence to crack?

 

You say you love me,

But so often I just feel like a friend

You say you love me,

But why has our deepest intimacy

Come to an end?

 

You said it yourself

This year has left you changed

But I’m not sure yet

How permanent this will be

 

For so long you were my ground

Upon which I could find firmer balance

But now you need my help to stand

And I am nothing but quicksand

 

My flaws go before me

The problems I’ve avoided and fucked up

How can I possibly give you

What you need?

 

So go, talk to someone else

Find that uninvolved ear

Before you say something

You cannot take back

 

I can be strong despite all

My weakness

But nowadays my strength is often

Only enough for me

 

Is it sad that you love someone

So useless and unreliable?

 

Is it frustrating?

 

What can I do

Tell me

I’ve tried with words

And gesture

 

But it’s not working

It’s becoming too clear

 

And I’m scared because

I have no place left to turn

Where I can recoup without regret

If we are truly headed towards my fear

 

I just can’t win, can I?

 
Copyright © 2017 Lux Apollo; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental. Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Parker Owens

To feel unable to help, unable to be wise enough, is to feel useless against a malaise that crowds around oneself. It can suffocate, making anything you do so very difficult. You express that vividly here. If a hug would help, you may have one - many - from me.

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Headstall

Heart wrenching, lux... I don't know what to say... no words help my own sadness, so I don't expect they'd help yours... I wish you well, and I wish you peace xo... Gary....

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skinnydragon

Relationships are difficult even under the best of times. When strains occur, courage and faith are really all one has. So, a hug and hopeful wishes from me and, I'm sure, all your friends here are what we offer.

 

Nice verse, by the way.

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Lux Apollo
On 10/19/2016 at 5:05 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Hugs are all I can offer you, my friend.

 

Thanks. It was a difficult time.

 

On 10/19/2016 at 8:39 AM, Parker Owens said:

To feel unable to help, unable to be wise enough, is to feel useless against a malaise that crowds around oneself. It can suffocate, making anything you do so very difficult. You express that vividly here. If a hug would help, you may have one - many - from me.

 

Thanks Parker.

 

On 10/19/2016 at 11:33 AM, Headstall said:

Heart wrenching, lux... I don't know what to say... no words help my own sadness, so I don't expect they'd help yours... I wish you well, and I wish you peace xo... Gary....

 

Thanks Gary.

 

On 10/19/2016 at 0:35 PM, skinnydragon said:

Relationships are difficult even under the best of times. When strains occur, courage and faith are really all one has. So, a hug and hopeful wishes from me and, I'm sure, all your friends here are what we offer.

 

Nice verse, by the way.

 

Thanks Skinny.

 

:hug: for you all.

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JACC
Quote

But it’s not working

It’s becoming too clear

 

And I’m scared because

I have no place left to turn

Where I can recoup without regret

If we are truly headed towards my fear

It’s not easy to be in a situation like this, at least that’s my experience. This feeling, the world is crumbling around and no matter how hard I want to help I cannot and don’t have another one ready to move into… 

Thanks for letting us read your thoughts, @Lux Apollo

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